3 Things You Should Never Do for Your Kids

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Here are three things you should never do for your children:

1. Homework - How many times have you watched parents do their children's homework for them? One minute you're shaking your head in disgust and the next minute you're holding a #2 pencil in your hand writing an essay on the French revolution. Face it. It's easy to get sucked in by your child.

Those frustrating cries of "I can't do it!" can weaken even the most steadfast parent. Sometimes it seems far easier just to do the work for your child. But before you give in, stop, look and listen hard. Your child first should attempt to the work on his own.

If he is genuinely confused about the subject at hand, take a moment to look over the questions. Ask your child what he thinks the questions mean. If possible, show examples of how to solve the problem. Avoid doing the actual problem for your child. Once you feel like he has a grasp on the subject matter, send him back to his desk to finish the work.

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written by A mom, November 10, 2011 03:16 am

Fish, it's a shame that parenting cla*ses aren't mandatory in school, considering that it's a lot more important than algebra, which is mandatory. Not all of us become parents, but few of us have the necessary skills to be all that good at it, and have to learn on the job. It sounds like maybe your parents could have used some training, and likely that their own parents could have, too. I'm sorry for that; mine also made similar mistakes. I hope you'll be able to move on and to make better choices for your own life and your own kids, if you have any. Good luck.

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written by A mom, November 10, 2011 03:18 am

How interesting that this site censors the word "cla*ses."

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written by Novemberrose, November 10, 2011 06:34 am

Does anyone not know this stuff already?

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written by Tammy, November 18, 2011 04:45 am

When my kids were little and asked for everything they saw at the grocery store, we established the "one thing" rule. You can choose whatever you want, but that was your one thing. If you chose chips, then wanted candy, you had to decide which one thing you wanted. My kids are teens now and still follow the "one thing" rule when shopping with me.

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written by Tammy Delbruegge, November 24, 2011 02:44 pm

I think "never reward bad behavior" needs more of an explanation. In my line of work as a therapist, I've learned that people unknowingly reward bad behavior under the guise of "protecting" their children from the consequences of their own choices. This comes in the form of advocating for your child to not be punished at school, giving them something because you feel bad that they are being disciplined by some entity with more authority than you...and when they get older, it takes the form of paying their traffic tickets, posting bail and/or paying for their legal/lawyer fees.

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written by Anthony, December 08, 2011 12:04 pm

I guess it has come to the point that people actually do not know this already? I think everyone should have to go to attend a child rearing cla*s or pay some sort of tax to the federal and state governments. It just might help cut down on child abuse both by indulgence and physical/mental harm.

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written by ruti, December 13, 2011 06:51 pm

Sorry, I agree with Fish on this one. With too many parents it is do as I say, not as I do. Young people are experts at sniffing out hypocrites. The best thing a parent can do is to set an example and love their children unconditionally. This doesn't mean giving them everything they want materially, but parents should sure sacrifice to see that their children have all their needs met, both materially and educationally. Remember parents, you can never love anyone too much. If they don't appreciate it, they are the loser but you did what was right in God's sight.

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written by Chuck, December 29, 2011 01:13 am

Absolute rocket science this article. If you can't figure this out on your own, you have no business being a parent.

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written by Malika Bourne, December 30, 2011 05:37 pm

Well written post. Parents have to remember that they are the parents-the ones in charge of safety, health and teaching skills to survive the future. No means no. I like the the author pointed out to make sure the child knows the rules when shopping. Years ago money was tight and I didn't believe the kids needed candy. I allowed them to pick out one junky cereal for their treat. That is IF they behaved.

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written by Erin Roundoff, January 04, 2012 09:18 am

Seriously . . . if you don't know this, WHY ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?

Thank you, Gabriel Adams, for another Nobel prize-worthy article on parenting. On a completely unrelated note, where do I fill out the application to get this two minutes of my life back?

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written by Laura, January 04, 2012 09:39 am

While it is not rocket s incentive, you would not believe how many moms do these things or attempt to sabotage me in following these rules. I have had a teacher offer my kid a cookie because she was crying about not playing with my phone. Seriously? I had to outright tell her that I do not reward bad behavior. People all over give their kids junk to eat and let them choose anything so they don't have to deal with it. Guess what happens? Exactly, they are sick, cavities, eating sugar aka white bread pasta jelly McDonald's. I'm so tired of people telling me to ease up when I just want to raise kids who wNt have type two diabetes and won't be whining on the job when they don't get their way. Any others out there feel the same
.

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written by Laurel, January 04, 2012 11:54 am

I would also add in terms of the store, don't set your child(ren) and yourself up for failure. I'm always amazed at the number of parents screaming at their whining children who are genuinely hungry and/or tired. Don't expect to go to the store at dinner time, not having fed the toddler, and have a pleasant time! Don't get snappy with the crying pre-schooler when you've dragged him/her to Walmart at 9:30 at night and it's clearly bedtime.

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written by Cate, January 05, 2012 04:49 am

How about "Never do their homework for them" and "Don't write their college essays."

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written by Alan, January 05, 2012 07:40 am

Well, DUH!

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written by white tiger, January 05, 2012 04:01 pm

An appropriate balance of Affection, Attention, Discipline and Supervision makes for a responsible child. Parents who allow children to eat store items while shopping, and then not pay for them are thieves; breeding thieves.Parents who allow children to run wild through the store, damaging items and disturbing shoppers are training sociopaths and should not be surprised when they later spend lots of money on lawyers and bail bonds.

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written by Beth, January 05, 2012 05:30 pm

Never do your child's homework for them (or hire anyone else to do it) or try to coerce teachers and coaches into giving your kid everything they want--grades, accolades, and responsibilities that they have not earned.

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written by Mom of 3 in FL, January 05, 2012 06:50 pm

Though some of these are excellent, parents must also remember that doing things for their children such as homework, chores etc. sets the child up to believe they don't have to do anything. Make your children do their homework, their chores and take responsibility for their actions. The younger you emphasize these things, the better off you and your children will be!

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