Ask your man about his idea of a hot movie to get you in the mood, and it's likely you'll get a one-word answer: porn. The notion makes many of us ladies wrinkle our noses, but why is that? It probably has something to do with the way we're wired.
When it comes to steamy flicks to get us in the mood, having an in-depth story line definitely helps, anything to give that emotional connection. Then again, if you're looking for a film that gets both going, you don't want anything that is borderline sappy chick-flick.
It's a fine balance, finding a movie that will appeal to his basic instincts and your need to connect and stimulate all senses. Luckily, some of the major movie studios haven't let us down. There's a little bit of something for everyone here, with some tempting options spanning the '80s, '90s, and 2000s. Here's our take on the top 4 hottest movies to get you going.
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Wild Orchid
What it's About: When Emily accepts a job with an international law firm, it comes with 1 condition: She must be able to fly out the next day to Rio de Janeiro to help the firm's top executive, Claudia, close the sale of a hotel. A turn of events pulls Claudia away to Buenos Aires, and Emily is encouraged to take her boss' date, James Wheeler, for the night.
Emily is instantly drawn to Wheeler's quiet and intriguing personality. After a slew of sexual encounters (including one with a masked stranger at Carnival and heated conversation with Claudia and a surfer in their hotel room) the sexual tension Emily feels for Wheeler comes to a breaking point.
Why it's Hot: The scent of wild orchids like the ones Wheeler gave Emily can all at once be both overwhelming but beautiful, much like the intoxicating cloud that seems to envelope the setting for this movie with lustful undertones.
Add the steaminess of Rio with the intrigue of Carnival and the allure of Mickey Rourke (in 1989, pre-surgery of course) and it's no wonder that Emily was swept along on a wave of lust and desire that even she couldn't seem to control.
Tasty Tidbit: The original cut was edited to be suitable for an R-rating. Look for the uncut version, with a love scene between Claudia and Wheeler that is rumored to this day to be more than merely acting.
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9 1/2 Weeks
What it's About: This mid-80s flick could be described as borderline "S&M in the City." A chance meeting at a Chinese grocery store in New York City is the location where their eyes first locked. And then, as luck would have it, Elizabeth (played by Kim Basinger), a Soho art gallery assistant, and John, a commodities broker, meet again at a local flea market.
This time, John presents her with a stole, and after taking her back to his houseboat, offers an experimental sexual relationship. She accepts, and in the weeks that follow, Elizabeth is swept up in the eroticism. As the sexual journey unfolds, the movie comes to an unexpected conclusion.
Why it's Hot: In everyday life, it seems there is a routine, a familiarity with relationships and intimacy. From the start, Elizabeth and John do not follow the traditional path of romance. After all, John blindfolds her during one of their first sexual encounters - a foreshadowing of what is to come.
As the movie unfolds, John calls Elizabeth at random times, encourages her to experiment with her sexuality, pushing her to the brink of her limits. As the two fall deeper into their sexual obsession, Elizabeth spends her workdays in a haze, perhaps partly from lust and partly from lack of sleep.
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Once again, it doesn't hurt that John is played by a 1980s Mickey Rourke, the decade's hottest commodity.
Tasty Tidbit: One scene to watch for is when John blindfolds Elizabeth and feeds her an array of foods, tantalizing the senses. Want to see what makes this scene perhaps the most talked about from the entire film? You'll have to watch and find out.
Basic Instinct
What it's About: This movie has some of the most alluring facets of a Hollywood film. It has a little rock 'n roll, mixed with murder and of course - sex. The stage is set with the murder of rocker Johnny Boz. When San Francisco detective Nick Curran (Michael Douglas) is assigned to the case, he immediately suspects crime novelist Catherine Trammel (Sharon Stone) and, coincidentally, Boz's girlfriend viciously killed him. The murder weapon: an ice pick.
Interrogating her turns out to be harder than he could have imagined. Catherine is not only intense and seductive, she's also clever. What follows next is a mind game first fueled by lust and then lived out in wild sexual forays the likes Curran has never experienced.
Why it's Hot: Nick and Catherine's relationship begins as a cat-and-mouse game of sorts. The mind games build anticipation for the torrid sexual relationship to follow. Mixed in is a sense of danger. Catherine says she'll base her next novel's main character on a cop who falls in love with a woman who eventually kills him. This flick is truly a thriller with explicit sex scenes thrown in, for good measure.
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Tasty tidbit: Director Paul Verhoeven must have done something right, because the thriller turned out to be one of the top grossing films of the 90s, raking in more than $350 million. The original version was originally rated NC-17, but after cutting nearly a minute of explicit sex scenes, it was dropped back down to its mainstream R-rating. If you want to see the film in its entirety, look for the director's cut.
Secretary
What it's About: Meet Lee, a subdued young woman who has just gotten out of a mental hospital for her masochistic habits and returned home to Florida. She takes a job as a secretary at Edward Grey's law firm. Edward has a unique management style. Typos and other office errors call for a firm spanking, where Lee must place both hands on the desk while he hits her lightly until her skin is reddened.
While this may sound borderline abusive (not to mention violating all sorts of sexual harassment laws), it's presented in a deliciously fun way as Lee begins to crave her boss' hard hand of discipline. As she begins to purposely fail just to receive more spankings, sexual fantasies ensue.
Why it's Hot: This quirky play on the secretary-boss stereotype takes the notion of dominance and submission role-playing to the extreme. While we tend to stray from an attitude of subservience in our everyday lives, this film has fun with the concept in a purely sexual way.
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Throughout most of the film, Edward and Lee don't actually have sex, but instead fantasies build the anticipation. It doesn't hurt that Edward is played by James Spader, already known for his TV role as a charming, quick-witted lawyer, and that Lee (Maggie Gyllenhaal) appears so sweet on the surface but is ready to do most anything - no matter how deranged - to get sexual release.
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There's nothing like a night of chick-flicks with your girlfriends but watching movies with your man can be a completely different story. Instead of suffering through another slasher or action film, try these picks that will put you both in a romantic mood and can satisfy your need for sap and his need for masculinity.
High Fidelity - After John Cusak's character is dumped, he spends the rest of the movie contacting his ex-girlfriends to figure out where he's gone wrong. From the awkward to the hilarious and tragic, they all bring him back to where he belongs. Aside from a sweet and engaging story line the soundtrack has something for everyone and is one of the first big-screen appearances of Jack Black, and what guy doesn't love him?
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The 40-Year-Old Virgin - While this may come to mind as a comedy at first, there is an underlying love story that shows the beauty of innocence and new love. Any male will love this movie as it's stocked with the usual sex jokes and unrefined humor of Judd Apatow movies, but there is enough of a romantic storyline to keep you interested - even if you snort-laugh along the way.
Groundhog Day - The Bill Murray classic is a funny and heartfelt take on the rom-com with an interesting storyline that hasn't been replicated. You'll be quoting Murray's witty quips for days after this one.
The Princess Bride - A cult classic that should belong in anyone's movie collection. This eccentric medieval fantasy flick is a lighthearted and heroic love adventure that both guys and girls will love and have fun remembering the times they've watched it growing up.
Forrest Gump - Along with being a story of romance, this epic spans action, comedy, and drama; however, the heart of the story lies in Forrest's undying love for his Jenny, which will make you tear up and believe in the earnest power of love all over again.{relatedarticles}
Bridget Jones's Diary - A refreshing take on the female role in the romantic comedy. Bridget Jones smokes, drinks, and curses, which is sure to appeal to your man, and every girl melts when Colin Firth's Mark Darcy utters the line "I like you just as you are."
Just Friends - A classic tale of reunited childhood sweethearts with a comedic twist. Everyone can relate to coming home for holidays and running into exes, but this one capitalizes on the humor of the situation while giving you hope that your unrequited love may still have a chance.
Titanic - Whether or not your guy digs the story of star-crossed lovers, Jack and Rose, he'll certainly appreciate the magnificent sweeping shots of the ship and when Kate Winslet infamously poses for her portrait.
Pretty Woman - The prostitute with a heart of gold, Julia Roberts, seduces businessman Richard Gere in an unlikely Cinderella story. Part comedy, part passion with classic 80s styling - this is one you'll both enjoy.
Legends of the Fall - Get your tissues out for this tearjerker. Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins carry this tragic story about not only love but family in a time of war.{relatedarticles}
Pearl Harbor - This has war scenes and planes for him and a love story and hunky dudes for you. If your dude is a history buff, he'll also enjoy the movie's historically accurate take on the events that led up to Pearl Harbor.
Love Actually - This British rom-com will keep your attention with an ever-changing and intertwined storyline that's both humorous and heartfelt. It can also double as a holiday movie to watch while you get cozy by the Christmas tree.
50 First Dates - Most guys love Adam Sandler and this movie can indulge their taste for boyish and silly humor while pleasing you with a cute but campy tale of a loveable Drew Barrymore.
Hitch - Will Smith and Kevin James' hilarious adventure in learning to be a ladies man provides side-splitting moments along with sentimental ones.
He's Just Not That Into You - Based on a book written for women by a man - how could your guy not love it? This comedic and realistic advice movie is sure to be a winner for movie night.
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When Harry Met Sally - An 80s classic that takes on the questions "Can a man and woman ever be just friends?" You'll be on the edge of your seat waiting the whole movie when the "will they or won't they?" tension finally comes to an end. The adorable love stories in-between scenes are sure to steal your heart as well.
Shakespeare in Love - A smoldering and passionate story with an all-star cast of Gwyneth Paltrow, Judi Dench, and Ben Affleck, this classic tale of love, loss, and tragedy will not disappoint.
Something's Gotta Give - Your guy will love a classic, cool, and crazy Jack Nicholson while the ladies will swoon over the always romantic and endearing, Diane Keaton.
Never Been Kissed - Enjoy the awkwardness and pain of reliving high school crushes and prom all-over again with another winning Drew Barrymore feature.
The Wedding Singer - Another Sandler and Barrymore team-up that's as funny as it is sweet and you'll be dancing in your seat with the great and upbeat 80s soundtrack.
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Atonement - This book adaption is a beautiful but tragic film about an ill-fated relationship during the pre-WWI era. You'll be left wanting more from this sad but soulful encounter acted out wonderfully by James McAvoy and Keira Knightley.
Romeo and Juliet - This updated and modern version starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes keeps with the heartfelt sentiment of the original play but switches things up with a fast-paced, colorful rendition complete with a contemporary soundtrack.
10 Things I Hate About You - The late Heath Ledger stars in this romantic comedy based on the The Taming of the Shrew. This coming of age love story is also bursting with one-liners and silly moments.
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Sometimes a woman's biggest competition is not another woman; it's sports. Many men spend what seems to be all their waking hours living and breathing sports. If it's not football, it's baseball, basketball, or hockey. While your boyfriend or husband spends countless hours watching ball games, you're feeling more and more neglected. Are you destined to be a sports widow forever? Not to worry. Here are some things you can do to get your man on your team.
Of course, the answer is not to forbid your man from watching sports. It's never pleasurable to have something you enjoy taken away from you. What if your man forbids you to go shopping or get a massage? You wouldn't like that all, would you? It's OK for the both of you to have different interests.
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Benefits of Being a Sports Fan
There are many positive aspects of being a sports fan that you might not be aware of. Sure, you may not feel that grunting and yelling at the TV is beneficial, but think about the other things your man is doing while watching sports. He is probably watching the games with his friends, which gives him precious male bonding time. In addition, it's his way of relaxing, although it may not seem like it.
Your idea of relaxation may be reading a book, while his is rooting for his favorite team. Watching sports also gives your man an adrenaline rush. Having his favorite team score a field goal in the final seconds or watching his team come from behind and shoot a 3-pointer in the basketball game is thrilling to him.
Why Do You Hate Sports?
If you choose to bring up the topic of being a sports widow with your man, you need to first figure out why you hate it that he watches sports so much. Is he neglecting you and the kids? Is he ignoring you? Do you feel left out? Does he get too emotionally attached to the game and become prone to outbursts if his team loses? Is he foregoing his chores and other household duties in order to watch the game? All these factors can make any rational woman dread the weekends. When yelling doesn't work, it's common to resort to sulking or pouting in another room.
How to Help with the Problem
Just like with most other relationship issues, the key is compromise. First of all, just because you don't like sports doesn't mean it's bad and your man shouldn't enjoy it. You should both be free to pursue your own interests. It's best to have a frank discussion with your man (at a time when there's not a game on TV) and let him know your feelings. Most likely, he is too involved in the game to know how you really feel.
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You don't want to have your man resent you. Don't tell him he can't watch any more games or make him feel guilty for watching them. Everyone needs down time once in a while, but if you feel that he's spending so much time watching sports that the household is being neglected, then you may want to suggest a compromise. Maybe he should only watch the most important games instead of every single one that happens to be on TV.
It can also be good for you to compromise as well. Are you interested in sports at all? Are you willing to learn more about the rules of a particular sport? Pick a game and watch it with your husband. Ask him questions about the rules and the types of plays. You can even ask for his advice on what teams to root for. Your man will most likely enjoy the fact that you are interested in sports. At the same time, it's a great way for the two of you to bond. If he's not willing to teach you the fundamentals of the game, go online on your own time and learn the basics. You can then impress him the next time a game is on. Who knows, you might end up loving sports as much as he does.
If watching sports is just not your thing at all, don't just sit at home and sulk or nag at your man. Use the time to catch up on some relaxation of your own. Go hang out at a nearby park, go shopping, get a massage, or have coffee with friends.
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What if It's an Obsession?
Although most men do not have a bona fide addiction or obsession with sports, there are some instances in which women, children, and households are truly neglected because of a man's addiction to sports. Spending more than 15 hours per week watching sports is enough to ruin a relationship. It's important that your man spends time with you or all you will feel is resentment and jealousy. If the sports get out of hand, you need to be honest with him and let him know your feelings. Allowing your anger to build up will only make things worse.
If your man is watching sports more and more, to the point where your relationship is suffering, then your man may have some deeper issues. Some men become obsessed with work or hobbies to avoid dealing with their personal lives. If your man is placing sports above your relationship, then you need to uncover the underlying issue. Until you do so, sports will continue to rule the household. If the situation does not improve, then you and your man may need to resort to professional counseling to keep the relationship from falling apart.
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Communication is Key
Communication is key to a fulfilling relationship. Be honest with your man and let him know how you feel about the amount of time he spends watching sports. However, as long as he takes care of his household duties and makes time for you later, let him enjoy watching sports. Try to be supportive of his interests. Who knows? He just may be willing to go with you to that new chick flick you've been wanting to see.
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