Today's Love Tip
For many women (and men) who experience abuse in romantic relationships, a way out may not seem possible when the attacks continue to happen. Abusive relationships seem to hold victims in thrall, either too scared or too worried about the... Read More
More Love Advice
How to Communicate In Your Marriage

The buzz word for saving a marriage nowadays seems to be "communicate'. It is as if it will automatically zip up all conflicts and resolve all hurts. It may seem a simple word but it can be quite difficult for one to practice.

There are some pointers for a couple with marital problems to learn the right communication skills before using them correctly to fix their communication in marriage problems. {relatedarticles}

Your spouse is the closest human relation on earth to you; hence it is your rightful duty, as per your marriage vows, to treat each other well. Each has to look out for the welfare of the other and give one's spouse the best of oneself. But most of us tend to react the other way; we are most polite to strangers but rude and critical with our spouse. We tend to take our loved ones for granted.

Hence, before good communication can happen between the married couple, they must remember their status in each other's lives and be given top priority at all times.


Communication between spouses

Communication is the process of conveying some message to another. Hence, the right words must be chosen as words, once delivered, cannot be retracted. It is so important to choose your words carefully so that the correct message is conveyed without inferences and guesswork. Always sort out your words first before voicing to avoid misunderstanding and create conflict.

This is especially necessary if your marriage is not too stable when you wish to communicate to resolve issues. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes to feel how your words might impact him/her.{relatedarticles}

Another point about communication is the timing. To have an effective communication, it must be done at the right moment. Do not try to communicate when one party is busy or not alert in mind. Your spouse may be sleepy or tired; there will be no positive impact and you will end up being frustrated with the brick wall of communication. Both parties should be calm and ready to deal with the issue at hand for a resolution. That will be the best time to communicate your feelings and thoughts without being accusing or defensive.

Avoid emotional outbursts which tend to turn the spouse away or shut off his mind. This kills all forms of resolution to any disagreement or conflict in the marriage. Raising voices and yelling at each other tear down respect for one another which causes more hurt and frustration.


Communication is conducive when the location is right. Crowded places or in front of your children will not do. The place should be comfortable and secure for both parties so that openness is encouraged. The bedroom is a good choice for privacy and a reflection of intimacy for good communication between the couple.

There are many ways to communicate effectively besides words; one can touch or embrace, give a smile or a kiss. These help to relax the other party and allow softer communication to take place which is more productive. Choose nonverbal gestures of communication to promote respect, love and desire to resolve marital conflict.{relatedarticles}

About The Author

MORGAN JOHNS is a relationship expert and the owner of http://www.howtosavemarriagetoday.com

Source of information about Communication in Marriage.Visit the website for a Free 10 Step Mini Course to Help Save Your Marriage.


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Top 10 Things Men Want From You

It's no secret that men want sex. And generally, they want it a lot. But what other things does your man want from you? Turns out there are some simply sexy, easy, activities you can incorporate in your day-to-day and reap the benefits of a super-satisfied male. Here are 10 things your man wants you to do but might never ask for:

10. Listening

It's number 10, but that doesn't mean it isn't important; men aren't all about sex. As much as he tries to deny it, your man needs a shoulder and a listening ear from time to time, but knowing when is the key.

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Try to hear not only what he is saying, but also what he is not saying, as most men won't tell you what's really going on in their heads right away. Reading between the lines will show him that you truly care, that you really get him, and that you're sympathetic to his needs and wants.

9. Homemade Food

It really is true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Your guy might love it if you cooked an elaborate meal for him, but he could be afraid to ask because he doesn't want to seem like he expects you to cook.


So, surprise him with a home-cooked meal every now and then; or if you can't cook, takeout on your good plates works too (just make sure to hide the boxes at the bottom of the trash can and he'll never know the difference).

8. Gifts

Men are basically just oversized kids; they love Christmas, Father's Day, and any excuse to get gifts. They love to get the latest boy toys: guy movies, stuff for their car, or any battery-operated gadget. Just remember that getting your guy something you think he should like but that he actually won't is a cardinal sin.

Try thinking about gift giving in these terms. Pre-ordering Halo 4 for him is equivalent to him sending you a dozen roses and chocolate at work for no reason. Buying two season passes to the museum is like him getting you a bowling ball for your anniversary.

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7. Positive Affirmations

Just don't tell him they're called positive affirmations. All guys want to hear that they are really sexy and good in bed. Just like women, men need to hear that their women are happy with how they look and what they do.

It makes them feel appreciated, and it's also a turn on for them. This also plays into being more vocal in bed, which is closer to the top of his list - don't be afraid to scream about how amazing he is.


6. A Strip Show

Men love to watch a woman strip - it's just a fact of life. It ranks in at number 6 because it probably isn't something he wants all the time. The way to a man's heart is through his senses, especially his eyes.

As visual creatures, they love to see their woman tease and get naked in front of them. So turn on some music, dress up in a little outfit, and put on a show. If you don't get it quite right the first time, he won't mind - after all, practice makes perfect.

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5. Role Playing

Again, this is not something most men want to do every night, hence the lower ranking. Don't be afraid to role play. Pretending to be someone else for a night isn't going to inspire your man to actually go spend a night with someone else.

In fact, he'll probably like it so much that you'll have no problem keeping him around for the long haul. Ask your guy who he might like you to pretend to be and then go shopping for the costume together.


4. Lingerie

Lingerie is so, so important. Some women seem to think that guys will hit anything that moves, but we actually like it when it is clear that our woman is making an effort. For instance, mismatched bras and panties are kind of a turn off for some guys.

So invest in some really sexy (and matching) lingerie. He'll want to see you in and then immediately out of it, but nevertheless, it is still important. Never skimp on sexy lingerie, and always have it handy.

3. Being More Vocal In Bed

In other words, screaming at the top of your lungs that you love whatever he's doing. Men start going crazy when they can tell that their women really likes what is happening at the moment in the bedroom.

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So next time you get busy, go a little overboard when he does something you like. It'll make him feel more confident and he may start trying things that he's never done before.

2. Staying In Good Shape

You don't have to look like Jennifer Lopez, but guys do prefer it if their lady stays in shape and takes care of herself, inside and out. A boyfriend or husband loves it when you smell good, your clothes are clean, and you are in good shape. You want him to stay healthy, so offer that to him as well.


Men are more likely to take care of themselves if you are doing the same. It is also a good excuse to spend more money on the things we love, right girls? He'll be totally cool with you spending more of the budget on some extra perfume, makeup, and skinny jeans as long as he benefits, too.

1. Trying New Things In Bed

He would like to try new positions, role playing or even some more exotic types of sex, but you have been closed to things like that because either you're shy or had a bad experience in the past.

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Just try to listen to him and do your best to consider what he's saying. Communication and openness to anything new is crucial to a fun, loving relationship. Keep this in mind -- if you try something that is important to him, he'll be more likely to give your fantasy a shot, too.


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Should You Make A Sex Tape?

If you and your partner are a fun-loving couple with an exciting sex life, then you may have toyed around with the idea of making a sex tape. Making a sex tape can be a fun way to take your intimacy to new heights.

Watching you and your partner having sex can give your sex life an added boost and make sex much more thrilling. However, you need to have low expectations and a sense of humor, or you will be disappointed. Here are some things to consider if you are pondering whether or not a sex tape is a good idea for your relationship.

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Why You Should Make a Sex Tape

Watching yourself on video does 2 things: It appeals to your exhibitionism and your voyeurism. Many people feel more relaxed when they are naked and free from the barrier of clothing. Plus, you get the thrill of watching yourselves have sex. You watch strangers having sex when you watch porn, so watching your own sex tape makes the act that much more intimate.

Having you and your partner watch the act can bring you closer together. You may be able to think of ways to improve upon it or different positions that you can try for next time. You can critique the tape together and see what angles or positions didn't work and which ones you want to try again.


If you are usually the shy or modest type, a sex tape can help you come out of your shell. Who doesn't want to be an actress? Although this isn't a big-time Hollywood film, pretending to be a porn star for a few minutes can give your self-esteem that added boost.

Plus, if your body isn't perfect (and whose is?), filming a sex tape can give you extra confidence. Plus, it shows that your partner isn't ashamed of you and loves you no matter what, which is incredibly sexy.

Why You Should Not Make a Sex Tape

Yeah, you've heard about Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton and other celebrities who made sex tapes that have been sold and make public. This may make you hesitant to make a sex tape, and who can blame you? The thought of your sex tape being in the wrong hands and made public for all your friends, family and neighbors to see can be very unsexy.

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Nothing would kill the mood faster. But there is a solution to this in one word: erase. When you and you partner are done viewing the tape, erase it. There's no need to keep the sex tape with all the other videos in your collection. You don't need to keep it for posterity. Some couples erase their sex tapes within hours of making them. If you want to hold on to yours for a little longer, keep it under lock and key in a safe.


You may also want to put a note on it that asks anyone who sees it to destroy it. This will be helpful in case something happens to you and you don't want your family to stumble upon it. Your best bet, though, is just to destroy it yourself after you're done watching it.

You should never make a sex tape with someone you don't know well or someone who you feel cannot be trusted. A sex tape definitely needs to be saved for a long-term, committed relationship. Never agree to do one with a one-night stand. You need to be clear of your partner's motives. The sex tape should be for your eyes only.

If you think your partner may try to use the tape against you or share it with his or her friends, then don't agree to one. A nasty breakup can cause the jilted lover to get revenge by leaking the tape to your friends and family. These are reasons why a sex tape can be risky and for many couples.

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How to Make a Sex Tape

If you and your partner have decided to go for it, there are some things you need to prepare for before the shoot.

First, make sure you have the right equipment. A small video camera is all that's needed. Something lightweight is preferred, since you will be passing it back and forth during the act. You can use a tripod, but with both of you shooting the action, you're in control and can shoot more appealing angles.


When choosing a camera, you don't need anything fancy with features you don't know how to use - remember, this isn't a Hollywood film. However, you shouldn't use something like a webcam, either. If you're going to make a sex tape, you want something that will give you decent quality.

Before shooting starts, check your body and make sure it is properly groomed. You will be recorded, after all. Take a shower right before you start filming and shave any extra-hairy parts: legs, bikini line, armpits, maybe your back. Look for any distracting pimples or stray hairs. Remember: the video camera can see areas of your body that you can't.

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Next, prepare the scene. Light some candles or use lamps to create lighting to set the mood. Make sure your bed sheets are clean - nothing screams unsexy more than dirty sheets. Clear the area and pick up messes off the floor.

Wear nice, sexy lingerie.

Before you get it on, you may want to indulge in a glass of wine or 2 to relax. Alcohol can take the edge off and make you less inhibited. However, the key is moderation. Too much alcohol can ruin a good time and your tape.


What to Expect

Again, you shouldn't expect your sex tape to look like a blockbuster film. If anything, it will probably be hilarious, so expect lots of laughs. Although there are some risks involved, a sex tape, when done properly, can be a fun way to be intimate with each other. As long as you take each other's privacy concerns into consideration and have a sense of humor, a sex tape can be a great way to take your relationship to another level.


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