Today's Love Tip
Getting a man to say that elusive L word is like getting him to throw his dirty clothes in the hamper sometimes. So if he won't say he loves you, then look for signs that indicate his love for you. What if he'll say it, but his actions don't... Read More
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5 Signs He's Cheating

Cheaters never prosper... and neither do their partners.

That said, cheating is as prevalent as ever with one or both spouses copping to either physical or emotional infidelity in about 41 percent of marriages. According to research conducted by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, those philandering ways aren't just limited to men. While 57% of males admit to being unfaithful in any relationship they've had, about 54% of women were also guilty of the same transgressions.

Cheating and extramarital affairs can be devastating for a relationship. Those extra-curricular activities are cited as one of the most common reasons for divorce and the end of long-term relationships. While no one wants to believe their significant other would partake in the ultimate betrayal, it's a cruel reality for many men and women.

It can be difficult to accept the truth, but it's important to be aware of what could be occurring right beneath your nose. Learn to look for the signs in your relationship. Whether you're already suspicious or preparing yourself for a new marriage or relationship, these here are five signs that can point to a cheating partner.


1. Changes in physical appearance and upkeep - we all know the longer a couple is in a relationship, the more comfortable they become with each other. Looking your absolute best at all times can often takes a back seat when you're just hanging around at home or going to sleep after a long day. Lingerie getting traded in for sweats sound familiar?

If your husband begins to pay more attention to his physical appearance and is doing things like buying new clothes, wearing new more cologne, tanning, joining a gym or getting his teeth whitened - there's a good chance it isn't for you. If he's not already seeing someone else, he may be readying himself to find another. Unless there's a big event on the horizon like a wedding or reunion, ask him what's up with the sudden interest in manscaping.

2. Being too nice - this one might sound a bit silly. Who doesn't want their partner to show them extra affection and attention? However, if this attention is out of the ordinary and doesn't seem to be sparked by anything in particular, he could be making up for guilty feelings and/or distracting you from his inappropriate behavior. Showering you with gifts, calling and/or texting you multiple times a day to "check in" or "say hello," planning expensive dinners and dates, sending you shopping with his credit card, going on a spontaneous vacation -- these are all red flags. Don't be blinded by the rush of that new wallet and matching shoes or the relaxation of a spa visit - find out what's really behind the excess of generous gestures.


3. Using the Internet non-stop - Who isn't consumed by social networking sites and funny videos on YouTube these days? If your spouse is going to the extreme and staying on the computer until all hours of the night or his iPhone seems to have become permanently attached to his hand, you could have cause to worry. Many men seek and start relationships with other women online in chat rooms, via instant messaging or on social networking sites. In fact, there are even Web sites set up like typical online dating services -- except they cater specifically to men looking to cheat.

If you do a quick spot-check of your computer browser's history, only to find that it's recently been wiped clean, or if an email account you used to have access to suddenly has a new password, you could have a cheater in your midst. If you're computer savvy, there are many inexpensive monitoring programs that record keystrokes, passwords and recently visited sites. However, prepare yourself for what you might find.

4. Changes in your sex life - this sign can go one of two ways. Either your partner appears to lose interest and you stop having sex altogether, or your partner has an unusually high sex drive. If you normally have an active sex life, a lack of interest could be a symptom of an affair. It might mean he having his needs satisfied elsewhere or that his guilt over what (or who) he is doing makes him embarrassed or ashamed to be intimate with you. On the other hand, if you find that his sex drive is through the roof, he may be trying to overcompensate for his infidelity and distract you from his recent illicit behavior. In the same vein, beware if he starts requesting to use condoms if you normally do not.


5. Being extra critical - does he seem to get mad at you for everything you do lately? Call you names or put you down about your appearance? If your man starts picking fights over small issues and/or criticizing your looks and behavior, he could be cheating. This behavior often starts when a man is cheating as a way to justify his misdeeds. If he convinces himself that you are unattractive or nagging, he will feel less guilty.

Starting an argument is also a tactic for getting out of the house so he can meet his lover or go looking for a new one. If he storms out of the house when you overcook his steak or calls you ugly because a hair is out of place - something is definitely amiss.

While this list is a good indicator of cheating behavior, it's important to proceed with caution. There may be other reasons or explanations behind your significant other's sudden change in behavior. Before you confront your partner, think about your lives and if any events could have sparked these changes. Work stress, family problems or even a medical issue could be responsible for unusual behavior or moods. However, if you believe there is no other explanation, you may choose to confront your partner.


If your worst fears are confirmed, you will likely be in a highly emotional state. You'll likely want to rush into the room and pitch a fit. As hard as it may seem, it is better to remain calm, or attempt to, anyway. Approaching your partner with a level head will yield the best results. Be prepared to back up your suspicions and for him to deny them. If you want to save your relationship, be prepared to put in the time to work through it and accept that he may not want to continue it.

Cheating may be a deal-breaker for you, so you must also be ready to call it quits if it turns out your concerns were warranted.

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5 Things Wrecking Your Sex Life

Is your hot and steamy love life feeling more lukewarm these days? You might think you're doing everything right, but there are sneaky sensual snafus that could be destroying your sex life. While most of them are easily fixed or avoided, you need to identify where you went (or are going) wrong. These five things could be ruining your sex life, so sit down, read up and get ready to light that fire once again.

1. Getting Grossed Out - Let's face it - the human body doesn't always produce the sexiest smells, areas of hair or secretions. If you flinch at the hint of a little B.O. down there, an untrimmed bikini line or the thought of bodily fluids touching you anywhere, you could be turning your partner off, or even worse, offending him or her.


There are a few ways you can overcome the "ick" factor - only have intercourse in or right after a shower, turn the lights off to avoid looking at things you don't like and keep plenty of towels or tissues on hand for liquid mishaps. Remember, sex is messy, so you should work on embracing the fact that you're going to get sweaty, squished and crumpled, and move on.

2. Being Afraid to Experiment - Instead of laughing in his or her face the next time your partner suggests a sexy cowgirl getup or edible underwear, give it a try. You could find it silly, but it may increase the pleasure your partner experiences and rejecting him or her could kill the mood. Unless it's something you morally object to or might cause you harm, go for it. Who knows -- you might even discover that being "Nurse Betty" is your thing.

3. Not Knowing What You Want - If you don't know what buttons to push or what gets you in mood, it can be nearly impossible for your partner to do so. If you have a hard time reaching orgasm, spend some time solo exploring yourself and experimenting with toys to learn what works for you. Pay attention during sex and take a mental note of what moves or positions you like best and what you dislike. Plan a lesson for your dude and see if he does his homework.


4. Being Embarrassed - What woman hasn't almost screamed in horror when looking at her thighs in the mirror, or had an absolute mental breakdown when passing gas in front of someone? When these things happen in the bedroom, it can feel like the end of the world. It's important to realize that once men turn on their sex-brain, very little can turn it off.

They are so focused on wanting you and getting down to the dirty deed that they're unlikely to be fazed or even notice that little jiggle under your arm or that you forgot to do laundry and are wearing your granny panties. Sometimes the human body will get the best of you, and your period will start early or you may let out a noise closer to a "moo" than a moan. Laugh it off instead of freaking out, and your man will too. If you're so focused on what he could notice, you won't be able to enjoy the task at hand.

5. Falling Into a Boring Routine - Do you have a standing calendar appointment for getting naughty? While it's important to make time in your schedules for sex, arranging a set day and time for it is one of the quickest ways to squash your sex life. Not only is it boring, but you also may find that you aren't in the mood at that time or have to "cancel" your appointment and wait a whole week for the opportunity again.


Come home early from work and greet your partner at the door in lingerie or arrange for a sexy night under the stars and camp out in the backyard. Anything out of the ordinary, even if it may seem simple, can pump up the pleasure factor.

It doesn't matter if you've been married for decades or just started seeing someone, these phobias, fears and oversights can begin to cause serious problems for your relationship if not addressed. If you can relate to one or more of these sexual slip-ups, there are things you can do to turn your situation around and get back in the saddle.

Spend time looking at yourself in the mirror or photographs of yourself and focusing on the things you see that you like. The more comfortable you are with your own body, the more you can relax during sex.{relatedarticles}Talk to your partner. Most men aren't mind readers, and if you're struggling with a sexual issue, he may not notice until you tell him. Be open and honest about what you are feeling, what you want, what you dislike and how you can both work together to improve the situation.

If these issues seriously affect your relationship or marriage in a negative manner and you cannot seem to tackle the problem on your own, consider professional help. Modern sex therapists are a far cry from Dr. Ruth and can work with you discreetly to improve your bedroom bumbles, and, in turn, the health of your relationship.

Not sure where to start? Stumped on new ideas? Visit a sex shop or rent an adult video to get new ideas and supplies for experimenting. Nothing should be off limits.{relatedarticles}Don't worry if you experience a sexual slump. It's normal for couples to go through different stages of sexual enjoyment and frequency. If you realize you may be committing some of these sexual sins, don't worry -- there is still time to repent. By recognizing that there is a problem, you can be more proactive and tackle it head on.

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4 Reasons to Dump Him

Having doubts about your man? How do you know when it's time to kick him to the curb? There are all kinds of deal breakers out there, but if you spot one or more of these four red flags, it's time for him to hit the road.

1. He isn't supportive. The modern woman expects a true life partner. Gone are the days of aspiring to take care of a man or putting your needs on the backburner for his. Non-supportive traits include:

  • Making fun of or belittling your goals and ambitions in career or life
  • Making you feel guilty for spending time at work
  • Not helping around the house{relatedarticles}
  • Ignoring you in times of need or distress
  • Pressuring you into making life decisions like quitting your job, moving or having children

If you bring it up and he still doesn't get it, dump him.

2. You can't be yourself around him. Are you playing a character of who you think he wants to be with? Not only does this perpetuate a relationship based on lies (even if it's just through omission), but it also can be detrimental to your emotional well-being.


Lying about your job or considering a breast enhancement just to impress someone or to fit into their "ideal" is a bad idea. The best partners are the ones who make you feel great in your own skin and who you can relax around. If you reveal your true self to someone you're dating, and he doesn't appreciate your true colors, dump him.

3. He's a user. We all know the type - the freeloading dude who spends his days in the coffee shop, nights playing in a band and lives with his parents. However, users aren't always this easy to spot. It may start slowly as he "forgets" his wallet or has his car "repaired," but if you notice that these situations are becoming more normal than exceptions, it's time to run.

You are not an ATM, a taxi driver, a cell phone provider, hotel or sex machine. A real relationship consists of contributions from both sides -- not just emotionally but also financially. If you think he's taking advantage of your generosity, dump him.

4. He doesn't get along with your friends and/or family. What would life be without your girlfriends? Any person you are seriously considering dating also will most likely spend time with the people in your life who you care about.


While variety is the spice of life, if you find that your new boo and your friends or family are getting into knock-down, drag-out fights, he speaks to them inappropriately or talks about them badly in public, despite your feelings, dump him.

Any relationship should end immediately, no matter what, if the following things occur:
  • He is physically abusive
  • He is verbally or emotionally abusive
  • He threatens you or your friends and family
  • He steals from you
  • He cheats on you
  • He habitually lies to you

{relatedarticles}Reach out for help from friends, family and law enforcement if you have serious concerns about your safety and well-being in any of these situations. If you break off a relationship and he begins to stalk or threaten you, don't be afraid to take action.

Every relationship will have its ups and downs, but if the thought of spending one more moment with this person makes you want to scream, it's over. When ending things, even if you are angry, stay calm.

  • Weigh the pros and cons. Are you really ready to end it or are you just caught up in the moment? Make sure the reason you are ending it is legitimate and that you are prepared to deal with the consequences.
  • Don't break up over a text message or email. Tweeting the bad news is tacky. Everyone deserves at least a phone call when ending a relationship to ask questions and get the closure they need.{relatedarticles}
  • Don't blindside him. How can you expect him to change or work on problems if you never told him about them? If you aren't happy, bring it up and discuss it first before jumping straight to the breakup.
  • Hold your ground. He may try to convince you that you need to be with him or that you'll never find another boyfriend if you break up with him. Don't be sucked into claims that he's "changed" or "will work harder." And don't look back after the deed is done.
  • Be Honest. Don't lie about why you are ending the relationship or say things like "maybe we can be together in the future" if you don't mean it.

If you've only been together a short time or it has been years, a breakup is never easy or enjoyable. {relatedarticles}Remember that you don't owe anyone anything, and you have the right to end a relationship for whatever reason you choose and whenever you feel is right. It will take time to get over the breakup, and it's normal to be sad and even angry.

Allow yourself to feel these emotions and give yourself time recover before diving into the dating scene again. Turn to your girlfriends and family for support, and you'll be back on your feet in no time.

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