Most people don't purposely set out to cheat on their partner. It's unlikely someone wakes up one morning and adds infidelity to his or her agena. It just happens. Unfortunately, cheaters never prosper, especially when they get caught in the fact. And the fallout can often be catastrophic for everyone involved. Are you prepared for what happens next?
What to Expect
Obviously, your man is not going to be too happy about the thought of you being unfaithful to him. He will most likely be outraged that you broke his trust in you. It doesn't matter if it was just a one-time thing. How does he know that it won't happen again?
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If you want to salvage the relationship, it will take a lot of extra effort on your part because you will need to regain his trust in you. There's no guarantee he will take you back, so don't be surprised or angry toward him if he doesn't. Imagine how you would feel if the tables were turned. You may not be so quick to forgive either.
First Questions You Should Ask
The first thing you want to do is assess the relationship. Why did you cheat? Was it just something that happened in the heat of moment? Or are you bored with relationship? Do you want to stay with your partner and continue the relationship? You need to spend some time thinking about these things because they could be part of the reason you strayed. If you want the relationship to end, then now's the time to call it quits.
The Next Steps
If you want to save the relationship, the next step is to own up to your mistakes. There's no use in denying it because you've been caught red-handed. Your partner has proof of you cheating on him, so be honest. Admit to the dirty deed and beg for forgiveness. A lot.
You need to prove to your man that he truly means the world to you. Explain that what you did was a huge mistake that will never happen again. Stress the fact that you will do what it takes to make the relationship right again.
Most people who have been cheated on feel bad about themselves because they feel that they can't give the cheater what they want, or that they somehow contributed to the cheating. So you need to make sure your man knows what a good guy he is and that he is not at fault for your actions.
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Follow your guy's cues. Some people need a break to think about the relationship and help rebuild their trust in the other person. If he needs some time apart, give him some space. If he wants to spend even more time with you, it may be because he's afraid to leave you alone.
In either case, grant him his wish. It takes time to forgive someone, and you may want to consider doing what you need to do to make your partner feel better about the situation.
Don't buy him things to show your remorse. Many people who have done their partners wrong resort to buying them things because it's the easy way out. Don't take the easy way out. You need to focus on doing things to make the situation better.
Make him his favorite home-cooked meal or go with him to that sporting event he's been talking about. Doing these types of things show that you are truly thinking about him and are willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work.
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If this wasn't your first time cheating on your man, you may want to seek professional help to determine why you continue to be unfaithful. Perhaps you enjoy the thrill of cheating or maybe you're scared of commitment. In any case, you need to nail down the underlying reason before trying to gain trust in your man. Continuing to cheat will just hurt the relationship and it will never heal.
What Not to Do
Don't tell your partner how to feel. It's only normal for the person cheated on to feel angry or depressed. Don't make him feel like the bad guy for being upset about what happened. He lost his trust in you and is angry about that.
Remember, you're the one that made the decision to cheat. Don't get mad at him for being angry. It's only understandable in this situation. Give it time and he will feel better.
Don't deny what happened or place the blame on your partner. Lying about what happened will only make things worse. Come clean with the details and assure your man that it will never happen again. You also don't want to blame him for what happened. It's important that you show some accountability.
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He did not force you to sleep with another man. If problems in the relationship caused you to cheat, then you still need to take responsibility.
If you want to continue the relationship but your partner doesn't want to, don't resort to violence or revenge. Your cheating has already caused enough problems in the relationship and getting nasty will make him resent you even more. It's his right to discontinue the relationship, considering the circumstances.
Moving On
It can take a long time to forgive someone for cheating. Even if you and your man do stay together after you cheated on him, there is a good chance your relationship won't survive the long haul. If you do get caught cheating on him, you need to start repairing your relationship quickly and prevent any further damage.
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We all make mistakes. It's up to you to prove to him that although you are not perfect, you do love him with all your heart and are willing to do whatever it takes to repair the relationship. It will take a lot of effort on your part, but if you truly want to hang on to your man, it will be worth it.
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Can sensual massage break the barrier of silence between couples? Silence or lack of communication is attributed as one of the reasons for breaking up a marriage. The increasing cases of separation and divorce point to lack of bonding and communication between couple which earlier generations had. It wasn't a lack of time that previous generations had, but the will to explore the partners with massage techniques that kept the marriages alive. {relatedarticles}
What is a sensual massage?
It isn't just kneading muscles and pressing those joints, it's an art and science being practiced from times immemorial to forge closeness between partners. Of late it has evolved into more of an art embodying passion and lovemaking.{relatedarticles}
It is actually not just a massage but much more than that - and was practiced since long times by kings and the queens and even common people for many reasons. The art has been followed in many lands and followed by people of several cultures and races, from Africa, India and China to the Celts to the Greeks, for centuries.
While a general masseur gives a massage that can help release from bodily pains and aches, a sensual massage can be given by a loved one and can build stronger bonding between couple while it can also relieve stress.
Why was sensual massage popular with people of many cultures and races?
The massage offers innumerable benefits for those that give, likewise that receive. The benefits immensely bolster the connection the partners share.{relatedarticles}
It should be remembered that the sensual massage doesn't merely involve kneading the muscles; it's an experience and involves perfect blend of several elements from preparation to the pressure points. Then coming to the massage part, which is about how to touch and where to touch -- it's more than just that physical touch.
It doesn't have to start with a preparation according to some; the massage can start incidentally as some pranks, jokes and play but transition to serious sensual massage and then end in sex.
Benefits of this type of massage
Sensual massage can be erotic. It kind of evokes the sleeping senses. The massage can deliver message of promise from the giver that they are bound to them and it can help in shedding of inhibitions during the process of lovemaking.
The massage can release a person from joint aches and pains and releases the knotted nerves.
It gives the recipient a sense of emotional security that no other massage can give.{relatedarticles}
The massage acts as a precursor to romantic adventures for couples.
Sensual massage acts as another mode of communication without words but conveying the language of hearts.
There are many types of sensual massage such as lingam massage, tantra or the tantric massage, yoni massage, etc.
About The Author
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Relevance Info Services, an international publisher of quality information, approached me as an expert in relationship issues with the question if I could evaluate a number of websites that offer methods and tips for saving relationships and prevent a divorce. The fact is that, with respect for all the well meant kind of information, there are many offerings on the internet that are not based upon psychological principals. A lot of the presented materials cause more harm than any good. It is not composed by experts and that's certainly not what you want. If you are in serious trouble the situation demands a professional approach by people that are very experienced in solving relationship issues.{relatedarticles}
This article is about what to do after infidelity.
Iinfidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. It is lying or disloyalty to one's partner or lover. Infidelity may be sexual or emotional in nature and typically involves a third person. Infidelity does not necessarily involve physical separation, but can be characterized by emotional detachment as well. Emotional detachment can happen when you lose your partner's trust or if you lie to your partner or tell them half-truths. Betraying your partner may inflict a deep pain that is difficult to repair and sometimes causes irrevocable damage to the relationship that hastens its end. There are many things that can occur in the wake of infidelity. If you are married, infidelity could lead to divorce. If you are in a committed relationship, it could lead to a break up.
So what happens after infidelity occurs in your relationship?
There are distinct stages a relationship goes through in the wake of infidelity.
1. Roller Coaster Stage. This is the stage where strong emotions arise - emotions such as anger and self-blame followed by a period of introspection and appreciation of the relationship. Just like it says, your emotions go for a roller coaster ride, up and down, round and round and it's a bit hard to figure out exactly where you are.{relatedarticles}
2. Moratorium Stage. This stage is a less emotional stage, at least for the person who was cheated upon. In this stage, the person affected tries to make sense of the betrayal. They may ask for more detail about the affair or retreat into themselves or quietly seek help from others regarding the issue.
3. Trust Building Stage. This stage takes place when the couple has decided to stay together. During this stage, the couple really tries to make their marriage work. They decide that a continued commitment to their relationship is important and with time, eventually forgiveness and trust can be achieved.
After an infidelity occurs, you may still find yourself often doubting your partner. Don't lose heart, there is hope. Here are some signs that may indicate if a person is still worthy of your love.
- Expresses sincere remorse and regret for cheating on you
- Heartfelt apologies feel true when you hear them
- Accepts total blame for his or her betrayal
- Cuts off all contact with the third party
- Shows a renewed appreciation, admiration, respect and devotion to only you{relatedarticles}
- Displays a willingness and openness to talk about what happened
- Is willing and eager to go into marriage counseling with you
If both of you are willing to participate in a deep, open, and honest conversation regarding your relationship and how you would like it to progress, there is a good chance you will be able to work through your issues.
If, on the other hand, your partner is not open to discussing these things with you and not demonstrating any of the possible reconcilement signs listed above, it may be time to cut your losses and get out. Additional signs that it might be time to end the relationship are: your partner seems to be more agitated than usual and seems to emotionally and physically withdraw from you.
They may go out alone more often and may be making clandestine phone calls or working late hours. You might even receive anonymous phone calls at the house. If several of these things are occurring, then most probably your partner is cheating on you. If you can find concrete evidence of this infidelity, then it's probably a good idea to break up. A relationship that is based on lies, lacks trust and lack of commitment is doomed to fail.{relatedarticles}
After an infidelity occurs, be aware of any signs that may indicate your partner's willingness to stay and work it out or clear intention to follow along the path of continued betrayal. Just be careful and pay attention. Make the best decision for you.
About The Author
This article was written by expert author Ruth Martin for Relevance Info Services
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