Kegel.
The word alone can cause a girl to giggle. But Kegels are no laughing matter. These exercises effectively strengthen the pelvic floor and the benefits are far reaching. After all, this is one muscle you want to give a workout, especially if you want to keep certain bodily functions under control.
Benefits of Kegel Exercises
Many factors, such as pregnancy, childbirth, being overweight and aging, can weaken the pelvic muscles and cause health problems. Kegel exercises help prevent your pelvic organs from bulging into your vagina, which can cause pelvic pressure and urine leakage.
Giving birth to a baby, especially vaginally, can take its toll on your sex life because of all the stretching your vagina had to do. However, Kegels can get your body feeling better than ever. In fact many women report an even better sex life after they start doing Kegel exercises.
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Best of all, Kegel exercises can be done anywhere - while you're at work, watching TV, on the computer, eating dinner or even while driving to work. You can do them discreetly without anyone knowing.
You don't need any equipment at all. Of course, there are devices called Kegel exercisers available on the market that claim to make your exercises even more effective, but in reality, these aren't required.
How to Do Kegel Exercises
If you are new to Kegel exercises, it can be a little nerve-wracking at first when you try to find the right muscles and worry about whether or not you are doing the exercises correctly. Just relax and follow these tips.
First, you need to find the correct pelvic floor muscles. This isn't necessarily for the faint of heart. To do so, place a finger inside your vagina and see if you can squeeze the muscles around it. While squeezing, you should feel your pelvic floor move up and your vagina tighten. Next, relax the muscles and feel your pelvis move back to where it was originally.
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Another trick is to stop your urine flow while urinating. If you can do that, then you've got the basic exercise down. However, don't regularly do Kegels on a full bladder or while emptying a full bladder. This can actually have the opposite effect causing weaker pelvic floor muscles and urinary tract infections.
Now that you have found the right muscles, you need to practice. Remember, practice makes perfect. Lie or sit down, contract your pelvic muscles, hold for 5 seconds, then relax for 5 seconds. Repeat this several times. When you feel comfortable, try to contract your muscles and hold for 10 seconds.
Your goal should be 10 repetitions several times a day. This may seem like a lot, but remember, Kegel exercises can be done easily whenever you are doing most activities. You can do them while eating, driving, playing on the computer or watching TV.
Kegels for men?
Although Kegel exercises are typically geared toward women, men can benefit from Kegels as well. For men who have problems with premature ejaculation or sexual performance, doing Kegels regularly can help men last longer and maintain a firmer erection.
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Because the pelvic muscles in men control the flow of semen and urine, strengthening them can help men last longer and have better sex for many years to come. It's the best thing they can do for their sexual well-being, and it will result in more pleasure for their partner as well.
For men, the easiest way to find their pelvic muscles is to try to stop the flow of urine while urinating. Another way, though less desirable, is to insert a finger into the anus and contract the muscles until the anus tightens. Once the muscles are found, it is critical to make sure the right ones are always being tightened.
What Not to Do
Now that you know how to do Kegel exercises, here are some things you should avoid doing:
- Don't flex the muscles in your thighs, stomach or butt. Make sure that your focus is only on your pelvic floor muscles.
- Do not hold your breath or force yourself to breathe. You should breathe regularly.
- Don't do Kegels when you are trying to concentrate on something, such as learning a new task at work or at school. You may lose your concentration.
- Don't overdo it. Too-frequent Kegel exercise sessions can cause soreness. You need time to rest, especially in the beginning, when your body is still not used to the new routine.
When You Need Help
Although many women are able to do Kegels, some women need a little more help. If that's the case with you, don't worry. Ask your doctor for feedback to ensure that you strengthen the right muscles.
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Some doctors can help you through biofeedback. A small probe is inserted into the vagina by your doctor and electrodes are placed around the vaginal or anal area. A monitor will show you if you are contracting the right pelvic muscles, as well as the length of time you are holding each contraction.
In rare cases, your doctor may recommend electric stimulation. Your doctor will apply a small electrical current to the muscles in your pelvic floor. The current causes your muscles to contract and produces a buzzing sensation. After this is replicated many times, you get used to the sensation and are eventually able to do Kegel exercises on your own.
Results
Just like anything, don't expect overnight results. If you do your Kegel exercises regularly, you should expect results within 8-12 weeks. Some women simply do Kegels to keep their health problems from getting worse, but others see dramatic results.
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However, once you see improvement, you should not discontinue the routine. Doing Kegels permanently will ensure that you do not see any decrease in the performance of your pelvic floor muscles.
Doing Kegel exercises has many benefits, especially in terms of sexual performance for both men and women. They're an easy way to make dramatic improvements to your health. Doing Kegels may be a little difficult at first, but in a short amount of time, you will be a pro. Incorporate Kegels into your exercise routine today and feel the difference. It's one move you won't mind doing.
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Whether you're venturing out on a first date or sneaking away with your husband for a night without the kids, a date night doesn't have to break the bank. There are many outings you can try that are high in fun and low in price. Finding just the right activity when you're on a budget can basically bring upon unwanted stress. So why not explore these affordable options that won't drag you down financially? You and your date won't be sorry.
Organize a Game Night - Hit up the hall closet and pull out all the board games and cards you own. Spend an evening balancing Jenga blocks, counting your money in Monopoly or getting to UNO. Pop open a bottle of wine and make appetizers that can be eaten easily while playing, and you'll have a great low-key evening.
Scary Movie Marathon - There's nothing like cuddling up to your date during an especially scary or creepy scene in a horror movie. Stop by the local video store and pick up three of your favorites for a monster movie marathon. You can even pretend it's Halloween and stock the house with candy and popcorn.
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Stop and Smell the Roses - Look up a local garden or nature park in your area and gear up for an afternoon walk. Most parks are free or cost a nominal fee, and you can spend the day taking in the sights and sounds of nature while getting some exercise and also having lots of time to talk. Finish up your jaunt with a picnic with sandwiches from a local deli or sub shop.
Be a Tourist in Your Own City - Use date night as an excuse to explore the spots around your city or town that you've never managed to frequent. Whether it's the world's largest ball of yarn, an art museum, or tacky theme restaurant, you'll quickly learn there's no place like your hometown. You're sure to have a blast acting like an out-of-towner. Don't forget to bring along a camera for those cheesy posed photos!
Go See a Play - Try a new take on "dinner and a movie." Find out what's performing at your local playhouse and check it out. Tickets are usually cheap and support local artists. If it ends up being awful, you can have a good time making fun of it together or re-enacting your favorite awkward scenes in the parking lot after the curtain comes down.
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Wine Tasting or Brewery Tour - What's the best way to enjoy libations on the cheap? Visit a local winery or brewery for a tour or tasting. Not only will it be like going to happy hour without the big bill, you might also pick up some tips for what to serve at your next dinner party or backyard barbeque. Just make sure you have a safe ride to get home after swigging down your samples.
Break the Ice - Warm up to your date while hitting the ice at a local ice skating rink. Cuddle up with hot chocolate and use this as an excuse to wear your favorite scarf while you and your date make your way around the rink. Not an outdoor rink in your area? Use this date in the dredges of summer to beat the heat and get close to your sweetie with an indoor skate.
Play House - Look through the real estate listings in your area to see what open houses will be held on a Saturday or Sunday. Put on a suit and a nice dress and spend the afternoon playing make-believe by touring all the fancy houses for sale in your area and daydreaming about which one you would pick and how you would decorate it.
Do Some Good - Roll up your sleeves and spend a day volunteering together at a local animal shelter or food bank. Not only will you feel better about yourself, you'll make a difference in the community while getting to know each other or strengthening your relationship.
Let's Get Physical - If you're both the active type you can find a cheap exercise class to take together that will get your heart pumping. Even cheaper is a run in a park, bike ride, or an hour of self-led yoga on the beach.
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Make a Fresh Dinner - Find out where the local farmer's market is in your area and spend the morning picking out fresh and local ingredients for a dinner that evening. You can spend the rest of the day looking through recipes and coming up with ideas for your meal.
Shake Your Groove Thang - Break out your college black light and craft an i-Tunes playlist that would put your local DJ to shame. Spend an evening boogieing in the comfort of your own home without the overpriced cocktails and snotty doormen.
Embrace Your Inner Child - Spend a night at the local arcade playing video games, laser tag, and bumper cars. Allow yourself to indulge in pizza, hot dogs, and ice cream and get your date a funny gift with the tickets you've earned.
Casino Night - Find a casino in your area with penny slots and live music. You can enjoy people watching, dancing, and maybe winning some money while you take advantage of the cheap buffet and complimentary drinks.
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Catch a Game - Most cities have a nearby college or minor league sporting team that can offer a night of sports action for a fraction of the price of the pros. Check the schedules, don the team's colors, and head out for a night of beer, peanuts, and hot dogs.
Get Crafty - Pick up some blank canvases, tubes of paint, a few brushes, and markers and go to town. You can go outside for some artistic inspiration or challenge each other to paint something the other one suggests. Either way you'll end up with a fun night and something you can always remember it by.
It doesn't matter if you're feeling the financial burden, looking to spice up the routine date night or both; these ideas can provide a night of fun. If you really want to keep it interesting, write each of these ideas on a separate slip of paper. Place all of these ideas in a paper bag, shake it up and randomly draw one.
Who knows where the night will take you? One thing is for sure though - you'll get by on a shoestring.
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Great passionate sex is the best! It helps your relationship last and get better and better over time. Sex releases endorphins, which elevate mood and lower stress and pain levels. After having sex, each partner associates feeling good with the other. Testosterone, the sexual hormone engine for both men and women, also generates feelings of connection. And finally, having sex drives up levels of oxytocin (the cuddle, tend & befriend hormone), which explains why for many men, (and women) having sex is usually synonymous with feeling intimate and close. So how do you create great sex? Read on for some top sex secrets!{relatedarticles}
Sex Secret #1- Novelty
Dopamine is one of the infatuation brain chemicals that gives us that awesome over-the-moon feeling. It is produced when we first fall in love and then through new and novel activities keep dopamine infatuation going. Well, nothing keeps the dopamine going more than novelty in bed. So sex secret #1 is: vary the places you make love, vary the way you set the stage through candlelight, a bubble bath, feathers, sex toys, whipped cream, or new kinds of lingerie and sexy outfits.
Vary your foreplay and try different sexual positions. You might end up laughing yourselves silly as you experiment. Neither my husband nor I is a gymnast, so some of the Kama Sutra is a laugh riot for us. The most important sex secret is: Take it all as fun and games. In the end, make sure that both of you are fully satisfied no matter whether that's achieved orally, manually, or through intercourse.
Sex is a wonderful gift to be enjoyed and shared by both of you. Good, frequent sex promotes your own physical and mental health, that of your partner, and the vitality of the relationship. Among other things, it is associated with a reduced incidence of breast cancer in women who have never had a child, more restful sleep, greater pain relief, elevation of mood, looking younger, overall fitness, longevity, and happiness!
Sex Secret #2 - Sexual TranceSexual trance involves an inward focus where each partner focuses on his or her own pleasure and sensations and creates a fulfilling sexual release. In win- win sex, each of you is pleasured and finds a strong release in orgasm. Learn by experimenting so that you know what works for your partner and what works for you. This is an important sex secret.{relatedarticles}
Sex Secret #3 -----Learn What Works for Your Partner
In order to learn what works for your partner, try touching, massaging, licking, or stimulating all the different parts of the body. Observe and ask questions about what feels good. Try different sexual acts, variations of intercourse positions and oral sex.
Sex Secret #4 -----Know What Works for You
Ultimately you are responsible for knowing your body and creating the conditions for your own sexual pleasure. You can work on this by using what sex therapists call sensate focus. This simple but effective sex secret technique requires only that you be in an undisturbed place where you playfully touch and stimulate different parts of your body and learn about what sensations feel good to you. This is especially important for women.{relatedarticles}
My sex advice is, the more you know about your own body, the better your lover will be able to please you. Guide him or her by saying positive things like, "I love it when you stroke my breast gently." Or "I would love you to use your magic mouth on my tummy and work your way down." This is a critical sex secret.
You can learn much more about sex secrets and creating passionate lasting love in my relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love." So pick up a copy. Everyone can use a little sex advice to spice up their lives!
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. has been a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & authored the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love as well as the best-selling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days. Dr. Diana's revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.
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