Love Him from a Long Distance: 5 Secrets
Some people may say that it is impossible to keep the fires burning on a long-distance relationship. Others reply that simply isn’t true because absence makes the heart grow fonder. So who is right? The survivability of your long-distance romance will depend on the type of relationship you have built.
New couples often feel the bumps in the road separating them more intensely, while established couples can navigate the potholes better and keep their romance on cruise control.
Although long-distance romances present unique challenges, they are not predetermined to fail just because the fire isn’t stoked every day. However, until the great divide between you and your significant other ends, here are 5 secrets for managing your long-distance relationship that will strengthen the bridge between you and your sweetheart.
Secret One: Use Technology to the Fullest
Did you know that putting the “I” into your relationship — whether it be an iPhone, iPad or iPod Touch — just might help keep the “we” part of the relationship strong and healthy. Regardless of what the love optimists say, the mind has this awful trick of blurring images that aren’t in focus.
He might not forget your face, but over time, some of your lovely and wonderful features won’t be as sharp as they were when you were together. If your sweet voice isn’t lingering in his ears enough, then it is time to ramp up your social media skills. Here are a few suggestions for managing your long-distance relationship with the latest technology.
- Look for plans, services or apps that offer unlimited sharing features. A free app called Pair was recently launched for the iPhone that allows couples to share exclusively videos and photos, text, and even sketch together for free.
- Buy a webcam. While nothing replaces in-person visits, videoconferencing is honestly the next best thing to being there. If your computer does not have a built-in webcam, get an external one for around $30 for those late-night, intimate chats.
- Sign up for a video chat service. In addition to the webcam, you will need an account with Facetime, Skype, Gmail, iChat, AIM, or another service. Placing and receiving video chats is simple and costs nothing or very little. As long as your loved one has an account on the same network, you can talk face to face for as long as you want.
Secret Two: Prepare a Care Package
Care packages are not just for college students or overseas servicemen anymore. Next to keeping your face in the picture and your seductive voice in his ears, your next move is to fill the void of some of the other senses that your boyfriend is missing that remind him of you. A care package is a perfect way to stimulate these sensations from afar.
If you love to cook — and your beau loves to eat your cooking — whip up a batch of his favorite cookies or brownies. If your fellow is a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy, you can still send him his favorites packed in dry ice. When the goodies arrive, all your honey has to do is pop them in the oven or microwave and bon appetit — it is just like you are standing in his kitchen. Food is a perfect care package because it will satisfy those primal needs.
But don’t just limit your care package to food. Send him a new playlist of his favorite songs and be sure to slip in “your song” as a surprise. Another idea is to appeal to his sense of smell by sending him a pillowcase with your intoxicating scent on it. To get the maximum effect, sleep on the pillow after washing your hair or applying your favorite perfume to soak up your effervescence. The trick is to surround your guy with scents that will remind him of you and your great times together.
Secret Three: Plan a Visit
You can get a lot of mileage from a planned visit before, during and after your trip. First, comes the building of excitement of planning your trip and what you will be doing once you arrive. Next, of course, comes the actual excitement while you are there. Then finally, the afterglow once you are back home reminiscing about how much fun you had and how you cannot wait until the next time.
Secret Four: Keep Yourself Busy
The greatest gift you can give your long-distance lover is to keep yourself busy. While reminiscing about old times is fine for awhile, you will need to talk about something new to keep your romance fresh. If you and sweetheart have mutual friends, go and hang out with them so you keep your fellow caught up on all the neighborhood gossip. Remember, you had a life before you met him, which made you the interesting and attractive person he fell in love with. Go out and rediscover yourself with the extra time on your hands.
Secret Five: Make Him Feel Touched
You now have secrets for satisfying 4 of his 5 sensations: sight, sound, smell and taste. But how do you satisfy the sensation of touch from long distance? When people talk about “touch,” they are not just talking about the physical sense of touch.
The other sense is when someone feels “touched” and experiences that inner warmth that comes from knowing one is loved and cherished. You can make your boyfriend feel touched in many ways, but start by telling how much you care about him and miss him. No fellow ever gets tired of hearing about how important he is to you.
While the above secrets can be quite effective, remember that they are still only substitutes for the real thing. Be prepared for stormy weather caused by the strain of being apart. Relationships are very unpredictable.
One moment you can be basking in the sun and warmth of virtual intimacy, and the next moment feel that you are separated by a void as big as the ocean. Just remember to keep working at it until you unlock his heart with the right combination of secrets for making your long distance relationship work.