When it's time to lay down the law with your kids, do you feel like you're negotiating with a tiny little dictator? If you feel like a pushover when it comes to disciplining kids, don't fret. It's not too late to change the way you react when punishment issues arise. Backing down to avoid conflict is not the way to handle kids, but it may be the easiest for a lot of conflict-averse moms. Childcare experts these days place a lot of emphasis on encouraging a child's self-expression and self-esteem, so it's hard to know how to strike a balance between hurt feelings and establishing clear boundaries. You're actually doing your child a favor when she knows what is expected of her and what the consequences are for not meeting those expectations. Children who practice self-discipline on a regular basis - in other words, those who can delay gratification - seem to do better academically, according to experts. There are a few tactics you can use to stop being such a softie.
Start by making clear rules and consequences when they're broken - then stick with it. It's tough to stay consistent in the face of whining, begging and all-out tantrums, but the more you hold firm, the more they'll understand what's expected of them. Crying happens, it passes and another emotion takes its place. Consider "trigger points" with younger children, especially. Are there times when misbehavior happens because of hunger, tiredness or illness? If so, then it's best to avoid confrontations during those "witching hours." Don't take a sleepy toddler along for "just one more" errand if he's exhausted - it's a tantrum waiting to happen. It's never too late to strengthen your relationship with your kids, and learning how to discipline them is a great way.