Kids' Fears, Demystified

Some kids are fraidy-cats - worried and afraid about pretty much everything. For some, just the more common childhood fears apply. But for all parents, it's hard to see your child get completely freaked out about everyday occurrences. First, the fear of separation and being alone can worry a child. This can happen into elementary school, especially in a caregiver setting. It may be hard for you to do the first few times leaving your child in a new place, but putting on a happy face and sticking with the same good-bye routine each time you drop your child off can go a long way in allaying those fears. Get the child busy with an activity, then say goodbye to her cheerfully and leave, without returning and interrupting the transition. If it's a problem at home, then make being alone a game. Sit across the room, or walk into the closet and close the doors. Talk to the child as you maintain distance, increasing that distance until you're in another room for up to 30 seconds - never leave a child unattended, however. Night can hold the biggest fears for little kids, whether it's monsters or fear of the dark.
Kids have very vivid imaginations, and it's hard for them to separate what's real from what's pretend. So simply telling a child there's no such thing as monsters isn't going to help much. Go through the motions - look high and low, under beds and on shelves, to prove to your child there aren't any monsters. Fill a small spray bottle with water and allow your child to use the "monster spray" around the room to ward off any monsters. Create a soothing atmosphere at night with lighting that's just bright enough to ward off fear of the dark, decreasing the light if needed after the child falls asleep. One healthy fear that kids have is that of strangers. Parents may scold if a child is unfriendly or impolite to someone he doesn't know, but that's really a healthy response that may keep him out of a dangerous situation. When visiting friends and relatives, it helps to model friendly behavior yourself by giving hugs, smiling and showing the child that it's OK to be around those people. Clue them in beforehand if you think bringing up a favorite game or character would help your child warm up.