Today's Love Tip
It's hard to think about your significant other having a romantic life outside of the one you share with him or her, but there's no changing the fact that there were others who came before you. It's tough dealing with those who your love... Read More
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Should You Make A Sex Tape?

If you and your partner are a fun-loving couple with an exciting sex life, then you may have toyed around with the idea of making a sex tape. Making a sex tape can be a fun way to take your intimacy to new heights.

Watching you and your partner having sex can give your sex life an added boost and make sex much more thrilling. However, you need to have low expectations and a sense of humor, or you will be disappointed. Here are some things to consider if you are pondering whether or not a sex tape is a good idea for your relationship.

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Why You Should Make a Sex Tape

Watching yourself on video does 2 things: It appeals to your exhibitionism and your voyeurism. Many people feel more relaxed when they are naked and free from the barrier of clothing. Plus, you get the thrill of watching yourselves have sex. You watch strangers having sex when you watch porn, so watching your own sex tape makes the act that much more intimate.

Having you and your partner watch the act can bring you closer together. You may be able to think of ways to improve upon it or different positions that you can try for next time. You can critique the tape together and see what angles or positions didn't work and which ones you want to try again.


If you are usually the shy or modest type, a sex tape can help you come out of your shell. Who doesn't want to be an actress? Although this isn't a big-time Hollywood film, pretending to be a porn star for a few minutes can give your self-esteem that added boost.

Plus, if your body isn't perfect (and whose is?), filming a sex tape can give you extra confidence. Plus, it shows that your partner isn't ashamed of you and loves you no matter what, which is incredibly sexy.

Why You Should Not Make a Sex Tape

Yeah, you've heard about Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton and other celebrities who made sex tapes that have been sold and make public. This may make you hesitant to make a sex tape, and who can blame you? The thought of your sex tape being in the wrong hands and made public for all your friends, family and neighbors to see can be very unsexy.

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Nothing would kill the mood faster. But there is a solution to this in one word: erase. When you and you partner are done viewing the tape, erase it. There's no need to keep the sex tape with all the other videos in your collection. You don't need to keep it for posterity. Some couples erase their sex tapes within hours of making them. If you want to hold on to yours for a little longer, keep it under lock and key in a safe.


You may also want to put a note on it that asks anyone who sees it to destroy it. This will be helpful in case something happens to you and you don't want your family to stumble upon it. Your best bet, though, is just to destroy it yourself after you're done watching it.

You should never make a sex tape with someone you don't know well or someone who you feel cannot be trusted. A sex tape definitely needs to be saved for a long-term, committed relationship. Never agree to do one with a one-night stand. You need to be clear of your partner's motives. The sex tape should be for your eyes only.

If you think your partner may try to use the tape against you or share it with his or her friends, then don't agree to one. A nasty breakup can cause the jilted lover to get revenge by leaking the tape to your friends and family. These are reasons why a sex tape can be risky and for many couples.

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How to Make a Sex Tape

If you and your partner have decided to go for it, there are some things you need to prepare for before the shoot.

First, make sure you have the right equipment. A small video camera is all that's needed. Something lightweight is preferred, since you will be passing it back and forth during the act. You can use a tripod, but with both of you shooting the action, you're in control and can shoot more appealing angles.


When choosing a camera, you don't need anything fancy with features you don't know how to use - remember, this isn't a Hollywood film. However, you shouldn't use something like a webcam, either. If you're going to make a sex tape, you want something that will give you decent quality.

Before shooting starts, check your body and make sure it is properly groomed. You will be recorded, after all. Take a shower right before you start filming and shave any extra-hairy parts: legs, bikini line, armpits, maybe your back. Look for any distracting pimples or stray hairs. Remember: the video camera can see areas of your body that you can't.

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Next, prepare the scene. Light some candles or use lamps to create lighting to set the mood. Make sure your bed sheets are clean - nothing screams unsexy more than dirty sheets. Clear the area and pick up messes off the floor.

Wear nice, sexy lingerie.

Before you get it on, you may want to indulge in a glass of wine or 2 to relax. Alcohol can take the edge off and make you less inhibited. However, the key is moderation. Too much alcohol can ruin a good time and your tape.


What to Expect

Again, you shouldn't expect your sex tape to look like a blockbuster film. If anything, it will probably be hilarious, so expect lots of laughs. Although there are some risks involved, a sex tape, when done properly, can be a fun way to be intimate with each other. As long as you take each other's privacy concerns into consideration and have a sense of humor, a sex tape can be a great way to take your relationship to another level.


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Process of Healing from Infidelity

A discovered extramarital affair of your partner is indeed devastating and knowing that you have been betrayed by the one you love will surely turn your world upside down.

Overcoming pain from marital infidelity is a long and tedious process but if both parties are willing to give the marriage another shot and believes that divorce is not the end of it all it is still possible for a happily ever after. Healing from infidelity requires both parties' cooperation. {relatedarticles}

If you are trying to make things work to keep the marriage together, you will have to accept the reality that this journey will not be an easy ride and will take more than the usual effort to put things together. Even the betrayed spouse should do conscious efforts to ignite the love and rebuild the trust again.

For the unfaithful partner, it will mean double effort to prove that you are sorry and commit that you will be honest a hundred percent this time around. It will be nice to lay all the facts of the affair so the other partner would also realize his/her shortcoming.


Next is to be sorry about it. Remorse is the key in mending anything broken. Admitting to the mistake is the only way your spouse could even consider taking you back. Change your lifestyle. Accept the new rules that will be stated by the betrayed spouse like no boy's night out or dinner dates with clients of the opposite sex again. Avoiding the scenes that led you to infidelity would be a good sign for your partner to start trusting you again.{relatedarticles}

On the other hand, the betrayed party also has steps to consider when healing from infidelity. First, you must clearly point out what must be done to regain your trust once again. Only you can decide what can mend your broken heart so it is best to make it clear. Choosing to forgive is probably the hardest step but it is necessary in order for both of you start over with clean slates. Lastly, spend time and avoid having to bring back the affair topic again. This way healing from infidelity might be faster for both of you.

Rebuilding a marriage is another leap for the both of you not only to restore your family but also for self-contentment and maturity

About The Author

Tammy Love understands the challenges of surviving infidelity and is now the chief editor of Surviving Infidelity.com . She is now helping those who have suffered Infidelity to survive and thrive and move forward by providing support and a community to help each other through the difficult times.

Contact Tammy to find out more about How to Survive Infidelity and get your free 6 Steps to Surviving Infidelity Report; learn more in

http://www.surviving-infidelity.com/infidelity-news.html


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Is An Open Relationship For You?

If you've been to a movie theater recently, you probably noticed that films about open, or "no strings," relationships are very hot right now. These flicks are usually typical romantic comedies in which two people who initially began an affair with no plans for commitment eventually - usually after many comically choreographed disasters and challenges - end up realizing that they are soul mates and live happily ever after.

While it's great that non-traditional relationships are getting attention in mainstream media, these depictions are not very close to reality. Your experience with an open relationship will depend on many factors, but it's smart to take these factors into consideration before making a decision about the kind of arrangement you ultimately choose. Before you hang an "OPEN" sign on your relationship, keep this in mind. {relatedarticles}

Dispelling Myths and Setting Boundaries

There are many common myths and misunderstandings when it comes to open relationships. It's best to get these cleared up before exploring this lifestyle further.

Myth 1: Open relationships are a recent trend. The reality is that people have been having mutually agreed-upon, non-monogamous relationships for thousands of years. The only difference is that contemporary attitudes about sex and relationships have made it easier for people to be honest about their arrangements.


Myth 2: People in open relationships have lots of sex with lots of people and take sexual risks. Not necessarily. For most couples, the reality of non-monogamy does not involve orgies every weekend. People in open relationships have jobs, families and other responsibilities like everyone else and aren't focused on finding sex partners all the time. The only difference is that if and when they do meet someone they are attracted to, they have the option of following the attraction without guilt. Interestingly, studies show that people in mutually agreed-upon, open relationships have lower rates of STDs than those who are simply cheating behind their spouses' backs.{relatedarticles}

Myth 3: There must be something wrong with your partner or the relationship if you want to open it up. Many couples who choose non-monogamy are satisfied with their partners and value their primary relationships. However, they may feel that humans feel sexually attracted to many people in a lifetime and sometimes may want to explore their desires.

Myth 4: Opening up a relationship dooms it to fail. Occasionally, couples who are unhappy but reluctant to end their relationship may sometimes try and "open up" the relationship in order to shop around for a new significant other from the comfort of their current arrangement. This is a symptom of an already troubled bond and a misuse of non-monogamy. Many couples have found that an open relationship works fine for them when practiced correctly. That's not to say it's easy; jealousy, insecurities and dishonestly can wreck an open relationship easily, which is why you should choose to embark on one only if you know the risks. It's very important to have a solid, healthy relationship between you and your partner before venturing into non-monogamy.


There are many types of non-monogamous relationships. Most dating relationships technically begin as open, when both people are still determining their compatibility. Some couples choose to keep their relationships casual longer than others. This can work as long as both people agree and one does not end up falling hard for the other and secretly wanting a commitment. This can (and often does) get tricky! In more established, committed couples, an open relationship is one in which there are two primary partners, and they have an agreement that allows each to have outside affairs, but share a commitment to remaining with their primary partner in a loving relationship.{relatedarticles}

There are other, alternative versions of open relationships that are more unconventional. For example, polyamory, in which the relationship involves 3 or more people in a loving, committed bond. This is much like the plural marriage found in some sects of Mormonism and other cultures around the world. In other kinds of arrangements, some couples choose to have their sexual adventures together, whether among friends or at swinging clubs. Scared yet? These alternative lifestyles are definitely not for everyone, and nobody should be pressured into sexual arrangements that go against their faith or morals. Ultimately, it's up to you. But whatever you choose, be sure to set ground rules.


Having ground rules is a must if you want your open relationship to be successful. Some couples may have rules limiting what sexual acts they choose to do with non-primary partners or have other ways of ensuring that the alternate lover does not usurp the primary's position. If you're the alternate sex partner in a non-monogamous relationship, understand that you have rights and that your position differs from that of being the "other woman" in a cheating situation. Don't be afraid to speak your mind and discuss your concerns if you feel you're not being respected.{relatedarticles}

Jealousy

One of the first objections raised by critics of open relationships is that it's impossible to share someone you love with another person. The jealousy would drive you crazy and eventually lead to the end of the partnership. It's not surprising that this is the first thing that comes to mind; jealousy is often seen as an expression of love and is celebrated and encouraged in popular media. The truth is that jealousy is not a sign of true love, nor is it a healthy, positive emotion. The 1960s counterculture preached sexual openness as the root of peace and social reform because it requires selflessness and logical thinking rather than possessiveness and raw, destructive emotion. In many ways they were correct.

While the flower children may have had a point, their ideals do not always translate easily to our modern relationships. Jealousy can be an extremely difficult emotion to overcome. It's rooted in fear of loss, insecurities and many other deep primal anxieties that are not easy to get rid of overnight. Ideally, people who are in successful open relationships usually are a) not very prone to jealousy and b) able to confront and deal with jealousy by talking extensively with their partners and setting boundaries so they feel more in control of the non-monogamous arrangement. Couples' therapy can be a valuable tool for helping overcome jealousy.


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