Today's Love Tip
Gender and sexual identity can get quite confusing these days. The world is beginning to become more tolerant of the people who don't completely "fit" into gender and sex categories such as male and female and sexual orientation categories... Read More
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Tips for Keeping the Conversation Alive

Are you jealous of the born conversationalist? The person who can easily strike up a dialogue with strangers and make small talk with anyone in the room? Do you want to know their secrets for keeping a conversation alive? Here we have assembled some effective openers and fun fillers to help get your tongue untied and your brain working again after it has gone blank. Say goodbye to those awkward silences.

Ask Lots of Questions

It is hard to keep a conversation alive when you don't know anything about the other person-his interests, hobbies, political views, and values. When meeting someone for the first time, play the game of 20 questions to learn as much about the person as possible.

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Your goal is to ask enough questions to get a random hit and find common ground where the two of you can meet to enjoy a lengthy chat. A good set of initial and/or get-to-know-you questions include the basics:

  • Where are you from?
  • What school did you go to?
  • What's your favorite restaurant?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • What do you like to do on weekends?

Gossip

Two-thirds of all human conversation is gossip, so you better put it in your repertoire of conversation techniques. If you share mutual friends, acquaintances or colleagues, they can be your springboard to keeping the conservation alive.

Everyone enjoys gossiping, although few people admit to it because it sounds petty or trivial. Men seem to prefer to call it "keeping in touch," which is essentially a euphemism for gossip. To be an effective gossiper, remember to vary your voice (try lowering or elevating it for effect) and provide plenty of rich juicy detail.

Ask for Advice

Guys love to give advice, especially about cars and gadgets. To select a topic for advice, think about what is going on in your life. Are you in the market for a new car? Do you need to do some repair work around the house? Are you having trouble finding a certain app for your iPhone?

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As long as you are a good listener and attentive, your conversation partner will enjoy sharing his expert advice or at least his two cents. If you are lucky, you might even find an enthusiastic volunteer who will offer to help you in your endeavor.


Share an Experience (especially if it's funny)

Remember that a good conservation should have a rhythm to it. When one person dominates the discussion and the other is doing all the listening, you don't have a conversation-you have a lecture. Through sharing personal experiences, we crack open our outer shell so the other person can get to know "the zany and loveable nut inside."

Good stories become great stories once you tell them over and over again, embellishing them a little each time. Practicing your story a couple of times can help calm the butterflies in your stomach.

Give a Compliment

If the conversation looks like it is faltering, try giving a compliment. Even if the conservation ends shortly thereafter, at least you ended it on a high note. Complimenting a person on what he is wearing is always a good choice and remember to follow-up by asking a question about where they shop.

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Blurt Out Your Next Thought

If all else fails, try to blurt out the first thing that enters your head. Blurting is a conservation technique to break the awkward silence. If you can tie your stream of consciousness to something going on in your surroundings, that is even better.


Great Topics for Conversations (especially with men)

Food/Restaurants

Talking about food-shopping for it, preparing it, and eating it-allows the conversation to bounce back and forth. In discussing your favorite restaurant remember to provide delicious detail about what you love about it-the atmosphere, the appetizers, the desserts, the price, and the service.

As a follow-up, suggest getting a group together to go out. Planning an outing is another way to keep the conversation alive and kicking.

Movies

There is a countless number of movies and luckily a movie critic in every room. Everyone has a favorite movie or one that is on their radar to see soon. Enjoying a good movie and being able to talk about a movie are two different things.

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To keep a movie discussion going, you need to know how to share your impressions. The easiest way is to read reviews from movie critics. Don't substitute their reviews for you own, but jot down some phrases that they use so your next movie review will be a full-feature instead of a preview.


Homes

Home repairs are the bane of every homeowner's existence but great sources of conversation. Are you looking to spruce up your home and need some advice? Homeownership and rentals are a great foundation upon which to build a conversation. Share the good and bad of your home improvement projects or fiascos and don't forget to ask for advice and recommendations for contractors.

Pets

People love to talk about their pets, which often lead to long and personal conversations. Sharing stories about our pets shows our caring nature and as a bonus can be highly amusing. When a conversation begins to stall, reach for your phone or camera and bring up pictures of your adorable pet acting goofy to share.

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Cars

Besides our home, we practically live in our cars. If you are in the market to buy or lease a new car, ask for some advice and then for fun talk about your dream car. If you want to be on the other side of the conversation, attend a few auto shows and read car reviews online, so you can share your knowledge on the coolest and latest features and specs.

Remember that a good conversation is like a good ping-pong match, where the players keep the ball in continuous play. If your partner sends you a lob slowing down the conversation, pick it back up by using one of the conversation techniques previously outlined. If your partner smashes the ping-pong and it looks as if the conversation is over, ask him whether he has ever played ping-pong.


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Affair Surviving - 3 Reasons Why Asking Your Husband To Go To Counseling Is A Big Mistake

By Denise A. Dilmore

If you have recently found out about your husband's affair, you know just how devastating affair surviving really is. You may want to ask your husband to attend counselling sessions as you feel they are needed to save your marriage. Think again! Asking your husband to go to counselling is a big mistake.

Although counselling can be a perfect solution for couples who have both agreed to participate, if your husband feels pushed or forced into it, the results will not be favourable. {relatedarticles}

Over 50% of couples and individuals who seek marriage counselling after an affair reported the counselling seldom worked. If both couples were not 100% committed to the affair surviving help, the cheating spouse entered counselling guarded and with little intent to interact or disclose any deep feelings.

The cheating spouse then often sabotaged the sessions and the end result was the counselling pushed them away rather than saved the marriage.


3 Reasons Why Asking Your Husband To Go To Counselling Is A Big Mistake

Reason #1.

Your husband may feel he is being forced or manipulated into a solution. If your husband is not 100% committed to rebuilding your marriage and surviving the affair, do not try to convince him to attend marriage counselling sessions.{relatedarticles}

Reason #2.

Your husband may feel you are desperate. You are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep him in the marriage. Unfortunately, human nature leans towards wanting what you can't have. If you are pushing for a solution to remain in his life and come across like you can't live without him, this will not attract him but may push him away.

Reason #3

Your husband may feel you want to fix him. Although I'm sure your husband knows he is in the wrong for having an affair, there is still a sense of justification. In his mind his needs were not being met and therefore he looked outside the marriage to fulfill his needs. If he feels you are trying to fix or change him, resentment and distance can develop.


To encourage your husband to join you in affair surviving strategies, whether it be marriage counselling, books or online resources, take control of yourself first. Focus on your own self-care and be willing to take a non-reactive stand and move on with your life. Explain to him that you are getting counselling/advice to change your life. That the marriage hasn't been what it should be for some time and you need to make positive changes within your life. With or without him.

Focusing on your own affair surviving strategies and self-care is the key to engaging your husband to participate whole heartedly in rebuilding your marriage. Once you are both committed to saving your relationship, it's just a matter of time before your marriage will be loving and stronger than ever before.{relatedarticles}

About The Author

Denise A. Dilmore is the editor of www.howtosurviveanaffair.ca an article based website exploring the healing process of "AFFAIR SURVIVING".

If you have participated in marriage counselling sessions and they have not worked, or if counselling sessions are beyond your budget and you are seeking a way to engage your husband in rebuilding your marriage, get our free 7-part program. Visit www.marriage-after-infidelity.info for instant access to your Free Program.



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8 Ways to Make Your Mouth More Kissable

Nothing can make a romantic date fizzle faster than a dirty mouth. And we aren't talking about what comes out of it.

In fact, a survey of both men and women showed that the biggest deal-breaker in a relationship is bad breath. That's because sense of smell is key to finding a suitable mate. Nobody wants to kiss a stinky mouth, so here are eight ways to make sure your mouth is always kissable, guaranteeing you'll always get that second date.

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Brush Your Teeth

This should go without saying, but the best way to avoid bad breath is to practice good oral hygiene. Brushing your teeth twice a day is the best way to keep your mouth clean and healthy. But don't just focus on your teeth.

The tongue and palate need cleansing, too. Your mouth is full of plaque that can damage tooth enamel and cause cavities and other dental ailments. For best results, replace your toothbrush every 3-4 months.


However, brushing alone is not enough for your mouth. Flossing daily is also important because it removes food and other debris caught between teeth. Make sure you get between every tooth -- the back ones can be a little tricky -- and rinse afterward.

Good oral hygiene also includes visiting your dentist regularly - twice a year is recommended. Although many people have fears of going to the dentist, regular checkups will keep your teeth polished and help prevent decay and gum disease from occurring.

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Avoid Smelly Foods

Keeping your mouth clean is just one of the ways to make your mouth more kissable.

You also need to keep bad breath at bay. This is easier said than done, though, because there are a variety of things that can cause bad breath, and sometimes brushing your teeth won't help. Foods such as garlic and onions, while taste great, are not recommended on a romantic date where kissing may be involved.


Stay Hydrated

A dry mouth can also cause bad breath. Keep the saliva flowing in your mouth by drinking more liquids, especially water, to freshen your breath naturally. A dry mouth breeds germs, which can cause nasty odors.

If your breath seems to smell bad, no matter how you try to remedy it, it could be halitosis. Halitosis is chronic bad breath, and it can be a sign of a serious health condition. Stomach, liver and kidney problems can wreak havoc on your breath, as can bronchitis and diabetes. See your doctor if the bad breath persists.

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Ditch the Cigarettes and Booze

Quit the bad habits. Smoking and excessive alcohol drinking can make your breath stinky. Nobody wants to kiss a mouth that smells like an ashtray or a liquor cabinet. In addition, cigarettes and alcohol can do a double-whammy on you by discoloring your teeth.

Tobacco can also cause cancer, canker sores, and tooth and bone loss. If you want to end up with yellow teeth, gum problems and bad breath, say goodbye to a second date. Those are definitely 3 characteristics of an unkissable mouth!


Banish Sweets

Change your diet. Besides the onions and garlic, sugar is a major cause of bad breath. Sugar causes teeth to rot, which isn't sexy when you're going in for the kiss. Although candy and sodas are the biggest offenders, many other unlikely foods may have sugar in them, so check food labels carefully.

Even nutritious foods such as fruits and whole grains can have carbohydrates, which may cause bad breath as well. If you do eat sugary or carb-rich foods, try to brush as soon as possible.

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Food with calcium and vitamin C, such as dairy products, citrus fruits and dark leafy vegetables are good for teeth and gums, so try to eat as much of them as possible. Carrots are also good for removing plaque from teeth.

Whiten Up

Besides smelling good, you want your mouth looking good as well. Tobacco, alcohol, coffee and tea all can stain you teeth. Teeth whiteners can make your teeth look bright white again. Teeth whitening kits can be bought at your local drugstore and typically consist of strips or gel placed on your teeth.


There are also toothpastes that contain bleaching ingredients so you can whiten your teeth as you brush. Your dentist can do a professional teeth whitening as well. Although it is the most effective way to whiten your teeth, it is also the most costly, with prices ranging from $300-400.

Exfoliate and Moisturize

Take good care of your lips. Cold weather can cause lips to crack or become chapped. Exfoliate them daily using a wet, warm washcloth to wash your lips gently. Use lip balm before going to bed at night and when you wake up in the morning. Try to avoid licking your lips because it causes more chapping to occur.

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Also avoid using too much lipstick or lip gloss. Although they may make your lips more attractive (and therefore kissable) at first, they can get messy after kissing, and no guy wants glitter or lipstick residue all over his face. Sometimes an all-natural look works wonders.

Drop Sugar and Add Fluoride

Avoid sugary mints. They only make your breath smell fresh temporarily, before the sugar causes germs to set in on your breath. Try chewing gum instead because it increases saliva flow, which freshens breath.


Use fluoride. If fluoride is not in your toothpaste or mouthwash, then drink more water. City water contains fluoride, which reduces cavities. If you only drink well water or bottled water, ask your dentist for supplements.

Now that you have a fresh, clean mouth, go in for the kiss! Lean in close, open your mouth just a little and go for it! A clean and fresh-smelling mouth is a sign of good health. Don't let body odor deter your date from making out with you.

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Although it can be a pain to have to follow so many rules to get a kissable mouth, it will definitely be worth it in the end when your guy keeps coming back for more kisses.


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