Today's Love Tip
Sometimes the pain and loneliness that results from a breakup is just too much to bear, and we find ourselves wanting to reunite with the cast-off partner. The motivation for wanting to do so can vary, but there are some times when a... Read More
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From Sports Widow to Team Player: How to Make the Transition

Sometimes a woman's biggest competition is not another woman; it's sports. Many men spend what seems to be all their waking hours living and breathing sports. If it's not football, it's baseball, basketball, or hockey. While your boyfriend or husband spends countless hours watching ball games, you're feeling more and more neglected. Are you destined to be a sports widow forever? Not to worry. Here are some things you can do to get your man on your team.

Of course, the answer is not to forbid your man from watching sports. It's never pleasurable to have something you enjoy taken away from you. What if your man forbids you to go shopping or get a massage? You wouldn't like that all, would you? It's OK for the both of you to have different interests.

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Benefits of Being a Sports Fan

There are many positive aspects of being a sports fan that you might not be aware of. Sure, you may not feel that grunting and yelling at the TV is beneficial, but think about the other things your man is doing while watching sports. He is probably watching the games with his friends, which gives him precious male bonding time. In addition, it's his way of relaxing, although it may not seem like it.

Your idea of relaxation may be reading a book, while his is rooting for his favorite team. Watching sports also gives your man an adrenaline rush. Having his favorite team score a field goal in the final seconds or watching his team come from behind and shoot a 3-pointer in the basketball game is thrilling to him.


Why Do You Hate Sports?

If you choose to bring up the topic of being a sports widow with your man, you need to first figure out why you hate it that he watches sports so much. Is he neglecting you and the kids? Is he ignoring you? Do you feel left out? Does he get too emotionally attached to the game and become prone to outbursts if his team loses? Is he foregoing his chores and other household duties in order to watch the game? All these factors can make any rational woman dread the weekends. When yelling doesn't work, it's common to resort to sulking or pouting in another room.

How to Help with the Problem

Just like with most other relationship issues, the key is compromise. First of all, just because you don't like sports doesn't mean it's bad and your man shouldn't enjoy it. You should both be free to pursue your own interests. It's best to have a frank discussion with your man (at a time when there's not a game on TV) and let him know your feelings. Most likely, he is too involved in the game to know how you really feel.

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You don't want to have your man resent you. Don't tell him he can't watch any more games or make him feel guilty for watching them. Everyone needs down time once in a while, but if you feel that he's spending so much time watching sports that the household is being neglected, then you may want to suggest a compromise. Maybe he should only watch the most important games instead of every single one that happens to be on TV.


It can also be good for you to compromise as well. Are you interested in sports at all? Are you willing to learn more about the rules of a particular sport? Pick a game and watch it with your husband. Ask him questions about the rules and the types of plays. You can even ask for his advice on what teams to root for. Your man will most likely enjoy the fact that you are interested in sports. At the same time, it's a great way for the two of you to bond. If he's not willing to teach you the fundamentals of the game, go online on your own time and learn the basics. You can then impress him the next time a game is on. Who knows, you might end up loving sports as much as he does.

If watching sports is just not your thing at all, don't just sit at home and sulk or nag at your man. Use the time to catch up on some relaxation of your own. Go hang out at a nearby park, go shopping, get a massage, or have coffee with friends.

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What if It's an Obsession?

Although most men do not have a bona fide addiction or obsession with sports, there are some instances in which women, children, and households are truly neglected because of a man's addiction to sports. Spending more than 15 hours per week watching sports is enough to ruin a relationship. It's important that your man spends time with you or all you will feel is resentment and jealousy. If the sports get out of hand, you need to be honest with him and let him know your feelings. Allowing your anger to build up will only make things worse.


If your man is watching sports more and more, to the point where your relationship is suffering, then your man may have some deeper issues. Some men become obsessed with work or hobbies to avoid dealing with their personal lives. If your man is placing sports above your relationship, then you need to uncover the underlying issue. Until you do so, sports will continue to rule the household. If the situation does not improve, then you and your man may need to resort to professional counseling to keep the relationship from falling apart.

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Communication is Key

Communication is key to a fulfilling relationship. Be honest with your man and let him know how you feel about the amount of time he spends watching sports. However, as long as he takes care of his household duties and makes time for you later, let him enjoy watching sports. Try to be supportive of his interests. Who knows? He just may be willing to go with you to that new chick flick you've been wanting to see.


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Problems Down There? Answer a Burning Question

If your vagina is on fire, it's time to get some help. No one ever wants to talk to people about vaginal burning, which is why we're going after all the embarassing problems women experience "down there" that cause a burning sensation.

About Vaginal Burning, Irritation and Itching

Women who have never had vaginal problems before tend to worry there's a serious medical condition as soon as they start having symptoms. The good news is that it's usually nothing to worry about, and it can be treated easily with medication.

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Chemical Irritants

The first thing to think about is if you have changed your body soap, toilet paper, laundry detergent or dryer sheets. If you have, then the different chemicals may irritate your vagina. Simply change back to what you were previously using or opt for products that cater to sensitive skin.


Frequent Sex or Rough Sex

Women who have frequent or rough sex have a greater risk of suffering from vaginal irritation and burning. Sex causes friction, and this can tear vaginal tissue, even if you use lubrication.

While it can be difficult to see the cuts on your vagina, you might notice your nether regions are red and irritated.

The best treatment for this is to avoid sex for a few days until your vagina has healed. To prevent it from happening, avoid frequent or rough sex.

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Bacterial Vaginosis

A bacterial infection, also known as bacterial vaginosis, can cause burning in the vagina. With this type of infection, bad bacteria from various sources grow in the vagina. While symptoms vary with bacterial vaginosis, most women experience discharge and a fishy odor along with burning and irritation.


To treat the infection, your doctor will prescribe antibiotics. Medication typically rids your body of the infection and stops the burning within a few days.

Yeast Infection

A yeast infection, or vaginal candidiasis, is one of the most common reasons why women experience irritation. In fact, 3 out of 4 women will have a yeast infection in their lives.

When a woman has a yeast infection, she has yeast, or candida, excessively growing in her vagina or vulva. Most women will have a thick, white discharge, plus burning and itching when they have this type of infection.

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To treat a yeast infection, doctors typically prescribe an antifungal medication. Some women receive oral medication, while others receive creams, suppositories or ointments to use in and on the vagina. Your history of yeast infections and the intensity of your symptoms will determine your specific treatment regimen.


Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)

This is what many women worry about when they feel their vaginas burning. Luckily, there's a greater chance of having a bacterial or yeast infection than an STD, especially if you've had protected sex.

If you haven't had protected sex, you may have contracted an STD. Some of the most common ones that include a burning sensation as a symptom include chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts, trichomoniasis and gonorrhea.

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To treat an STD, a doctor will normally prescribe an antibiotic and request you come in for a follow-up appointment to make sure you no longer experience symptoms. It's important to treat an STD as soon as possible because it can cause internal problems if left untreated.

Lichen Sclerosus

While this condition is rare and occurs mainly in postmenopausal women, some younger women do suffer from it. You can tell if it is lichen sclerosis by using a mirror to inspect your vagina.


If you see white patches on the vagina and vulva, you most likely have the condition and should contact your doctor for treatment. Many doctors prescribe a steroid cream for this condition, as it reduces the inflammation associated with the condition.

Vulvodynia

One of the most misunderstood vaginal conditions is vulvodynia. The medical community is baffled by this condition and can't explain why it happens. They suspect that many women have a genetic predisposition for it. Immune deficiencies, hormones, nerve connection abnormalities, oxalates in urine and chronic inflammation are other considerations for possible causes.

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Most sufferers feel pain at the opening of the vagina and the bottom of the vulva.

If you feel you may have this condition, seek medical attention. Your doctor can use a cotton swab to test for it by swabbing the site of the pain or burning.


Because not a whole lot is known about this condition, there are many options for treatment. Some women spend weeks or months searching for relief. The least invasive treatment is changing your diet to one that is low in oxalates. High oxalate levels in urine sometimes can cause vaginal irritation.

Some physicians also recommend taking a calcium citrate supplement of 1,500 milligrams. Some women respond well to tricyclic antidepressants and anticonvulsants because they reduce vaginal irritation.

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Others do better with steroid injections, which paralyze the nerves and relieve the pain. Surgery is the last resort and involves removing the painful part of the vulva.

Speaking to Your Doctor about Vaginal Burning

While it may not be easy to speak to your doctor about your vaginal issues, it's imperative you address your concerns if you don't believe they are from frequent or rough sex or a chemical irritation. The longer you wait, the worse the condition can become, and that means more pain.


To make your discussion with your doctor easier, write a list of all your symptoms. When your doctor asks you what you've been experiencing, you can simply take out your list and read from it. This way, your anxiety won't get in the way of remembering all of the issues you are having.

It's likely your doctor will ask you questions about your sexual activities in the past few months. To avoid the embarrassment of having to answer these questions, give him the information as part of your symptoms. You can simply say, "I have not had any unprotected sex." or "I have had unprotected sex, and I fear I may have a STD because of the symptoms I've just listed."

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Always remember to report your history of any other vaginal problems. This can help the doctor diagnose you more easily and quickly.


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Irritating Guy Habits Explained

Boys will be boys.

Unfortunately, that can add up to one big headache for many women. Even the best guys have their flaws and habits that drive us up the wall; however, most man-mistakes aren't made purely to piss you off. We decode some of guys most mystifying and irritating behaviors.

Saying "I don't care" or "Whatever you think" every time you ask him for an opinion or decision.

Does your man go mute when you ask him how you look or get the deer in the headlights stare every time you talk about marriage? Don't write him off as uninterested or insensitive just yet. When guys aren't sure what you want they're afraid to say the wrong thing and would rather clam up than start a fight. The more comfortable you make him with sharing his thoughts and feelings, the more he will.

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It's also important to communicate clearly to him your needs and wants so that he can understand your feelings. By relating to where you are coming from, he will be better able to engage in a dialogue. If you have been dating for several months and he still doesn't speak up when you prompt him, you need to have a discussion about what's going on.



Not saying "I'm sorry."

After a big blowout when you can cut the tension with a knife, you might be thinking "this could all be over if he would just apologize" - but he doesn't budge. Even in the most PC times, many men have a hard time letting a woman get the last word. Most guys grew up in households seeing their fathers, grandfathers, and other men never apologize to the women in their lives. You can either suck it up and learn to accept his lack of progress or calmly explain to him that you are both equals in this relationship and that saying sorry doesn't emasculate him in any way.

He always wants sex at the worst times.

Men typically think of sex as a cure-all for any situation even an emotional one. They assume you will feel the same way. Just got laid off? Sex will take your mind of that. Having a fight with your best friend? Let's have sex to blow off that steam. It may seem like he's acting selfish, but he is only trying to help you the way he knows how. You can let him down gently and promise him a night of passion once your mood has passed or you can give it a chance to see if it actually works.

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He acts distant or mean to you when his friends are around.

When you spend time alone together your man may seem like the sweetest in the world, but when it comes to hanging with his crew he might act like he barely knows you. This typically goes back to the male-ego problem. Having his friends see him stroking your hair, holding your purse while you go to the bathroom, or blowing you a kiss from across the bar can totally blow his manly street cred. Either play it cool or skip the group hangouts altogether.


He remembers the score of a basketball game three years ago but can't remember anything you talked about yesterday.

A man's relationship with sports probably started long before he met you. Guys have been watching and talking about sports for a long time whereas being in a relationship may be relatively new to them. In addition to a long-term relationship with sports, many men mark certain times in their lives as they coincide with sports events like the Super Bowl or World Series.

He always gets defensive when you say something negative about his mother.

As the first woman in their lives, moms will always hold a special place in a man's heart. Even if she's acting terribly, it will be hard for him to hear you talk badly about the woman who raised him. Your best bet is to grin and bare it and if you must broach the "mom" subject do so very, very carefully and gracefully.

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He acts like he doesn't like your friends.

Your man might come off cold or uninterested when meeting your gal pals but that's because he may not be able to keep them all straight. Guys tend to have a long-standing solid group of a few friends, whereas women probably have lots of separate social groups like college friends, co-workers, family friends, etc. He may not understand your level of commitment to each group so he isn't sure how friendly or invested he should get.


When you ignore him, he calls all the time but when you act interested he suddenly wants nothing to do with you.

This can be one of the most frustrating issues a woman can experience when dealing with a man and it can make you feel downright crazy, but there is a reason why. When you are not paying attention to a guy by doing your own thing and living your life you come off as confident but the minute you offer a man your attention his brain switches to a mode that makes him feel trapped.

This can be blamed on biology as men have innate need to show or signal to others that he is still available to procreate at a moment's notice. Some guys are better at controlling this than others and if you can't seem to get him to settle down after a few tries - move on. {relatedarticles}

So the next time you're grumbling and cursing him under your breath asking "WHY does he do that?!" you can turn to this guide to figure it out. Remember that just like you aren't perfect - neither is he. Rather than ignoring it, hoping he will change on his own, the best to way to tackle these issues is to keep an open mind and line of communication.


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