Today's Love Tip
It's hard to think about your significant other having a romantic life outside of the one you share with him or her, but there's no changing the fact that there were others who came before you. It's tough dealing with those who your love... Read More
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7 People You Should Never Sleep With

Romantic relationships are often filled with many exciting twists and turns. But just because you feel that special tingle for someone doesn't mean you're a good match. There are boundaries that always need to be considered, even if you honestly think you've met the love of your life.

So before you schedule any candlelit dinners, take a look at this list of seven people who you should steer clear of romantically at all costs.

Your Doctor

Doctors have a special role in our society. They're regarded as heroes in many senses and with good reason. Whether your physician detects a life-threatening illness or gives you psychological feedback that improves your overall outlook, it's natural to look up to any doctor who has helped you.

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However, your gratitude should be expressed by paying the bill on time, not sharing your body in an intimate way. Sadly, some doctors take advantage of their patients' vulnerability and extreme gratitude by crossing the line into the physical realm. And because there is an unspoken hierarchy of power in this kind of sexual relationship, the patient can feel no choice in the matter.


In fact, psychiatrists and psychologists in particular are able to exploit this reality more than any other type of physician because of the emotional weakness of their patients.

But you don't have to be a victim. If you make your boundaries clear, you can prevent yourself form being manipulated into any kind of sexual relationship with a doctor. It's best to keep this acquaintance on a professional level where it belongs.

Your Lawyer

Like all interactions with your doctor, the relationship you share with your lawyer should be just as straightforward for many of the same reasons. But there is an added incentive for not stepping into any sexual escapades with your attorney. Such an action could negatively affect the ability to advise you as objectively as possible.

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The Code of Ethics exists because of this very conflict. Any appearance of impropriety could also cause problems between a lawyer and his or her firm, which can only make things so much worse for everyone involved.


Furthermore, the stress of a court case may cause you to feel more susceptible to romance, especially if you look at your lawyer as your true protector. The intensity and the anxiety of any kind of legal matter can stir up sexual feelings that will just get in the way of resolving the issues at hand.

So to eliminate any needless complications, think of your lawyer as a hired specialist, not a potential bedmate.

Your Boss

Sleeping with your boss is never a good idea. Once again, the inequality of power in this relationship is a major reason to avoid any sexual entanglement. You will never be a peer or a partner with someone who has such undue influence over your career.

Even more importantly, by allowing yourself to enter into a sexual relationship with your boss, you could be jeopardizing your entire professional future.

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Every relationship has its issues. But romantic problems with a boss who controls every facet of your job may lead to disaster. Performing your professional duties can't help but suffer under these circumstances. You also may be opening yourself up to a company investigation of sexual harassment, which can serve to damage your reputation in the long run.


While it may be tempting to jump into bed with the boss, don't take this leap. It could cost you a career you've worked hard to attain.

Your Best Friend

Close friendships are important connections in life. Many of them take years to build, developing trust and a special understanding of the other person that can only happen over time.

When best friends move from a platonic bond to something sexual, both people are taking a big risk. The entire dynamic of the friendship instantly changes, never to return to its original state. With sex comes different emotions and a new level of attachment that could ruin what once was the perfect friendship.

Although there are cases where best friends have evolved into a successful couple, that isn't the norm. So before you share your feelings with a pal of several years, make sure you understand that you could be sacrificing a longtime friendship for a romp in the hay.

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Your Employee

Just like sleeping with your boss is a bad idea, so is a romantic encounter with an employee. The same principles are in play. This time, however, you're the one in the power seat. But the results may turn out exactly the same.


Not only do you risk a sexual harassment lawsuit, but your entire reputation may be scarred for years to come. Work duties, which are the reason you're at the office in the first place, may fall by the wayside, too.

Keep your professional contacts on a professional basis, even if you're tempted by a cutie who comes your way. Sex with an underling is not worth the potential sacrifices you might have to make in the long run.

Your Co-Worker

Although there may not be a power dynamic in sleeping with a co-worker, other problems could be just as damaging. For one thing, there are boundary issues. It's harder to focus on getting your work done, if your significant other is always in the office with you. And if your relationship is going through some rocky times, good luck separating the personal and the professional aspects of your interaction.

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You may also feel claustrophobic because whether you're at home or at work, you're always together. That means you have no time to breathe. Over time, you might also feel that work defines the relationship you share, making it more difficult to grow as a couple.


It's natural to find co-workers attractive, especially if you spend many hours together. But think about how your work atmosphere could change for the worse, if you move this relationship into the bedroom.

Your Relative

Sex with a relative is always taboo unless the particular family member is a million times removed from your bloodline. But even then, it's a bit on the iffy side. There's the chance that any children that come of this union could face life with some kind of deformity. You also might encounter tension with other relatives because of your sexual relationship.

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For many reasons, it's best to keep your familial relations on a platonic level. There are plenty of appealing people who don't share your DNA to choose from.


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Revealed! 4 Secrets to Great Sex

Great passionate sex is the best! It helps your relationship last and get better and better over time. Sex releases endorphins, which elevate mood and lower stress and pain levels. After having sex, each partner associates feeling good with the other. Testosterone, the sexual hormone engine for both men and women, also generates feelings of connection. And finally, having sex drives up levels of oxytocin (the cuddle, tend & befriend hormone), which explains why for many men, (and women) having sex is usually synonymous with feeling intimate and close. So how do you create great sex? Read on for some top sex secrets!{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #1- Novelty

Dopamine is one of the infatuation brain chemicals that gives us that awesome over-the-moon feeling. It is produced when we first fall in love and then through new and novel activities keep dopamine infatuation going. Well, nothing keeps the dopamine going more than novelty in bed. So sex secret #1 is: vary the places you make love, vary the way you set the stage through candlelight, a bubble bath, feathers, sex toys, whipped cream, or new kinds of lingerie and sexy outfits.

Vary your foreplay and try different sexual positions. You might end up laughing yourselves silly as you experiment. Neither my husband nor I is a gymnast, so some of the Kama Sutra is a laugh riot for us. The most important sex secret is: Take it all as fun and games. In the end, make sure that both of you are fully satisfied no matter whether that's achieved orally, manually, or through intercourse.


Sex is a wonderful gift to be enjoyed and shared by both of you. Good, frequent sex promotes your own physical and mental health, that of your partner, and the vitality of the relationship. Among other things, it is associated with a reduced incidence of breast cancer in women who have never had a child, more restful sleep, greater pain relief, elevation of mood, looking younger, overall fitness, longevity, and happiness!

Sex Secret #2 - Sexual Trance

Sexual trance involves an inward focus where each partner focuses on his or her own pleasure and sensations and creates a fulfilling sexual release. In win- win sex, each of you is pleasured and finds a strong release in orgasm. Learn by experimenting so that you know what works for your partner and what works for you. This is an important sex secret.{relatedarticles}

Sex Secret #3 -----Learn What Works for Your Partner

In order to learn what works for your partner, try touching, massaging, licking, or stimulating all the different parts of the body. Observe and ask questions about what feels good. Try different sexual acts, variations of intercourse positions and oral sex.


Sex Secret #4 -----Know What Works for You

Ultimately you are responsible for knowing your body and creating the conditions for your own sexual pleasure. You can work on this by using what sex therapists call sensate focus. This simple but effective sex secret technique requires only that you be in an undisturbed place where you playfully touch and stimulate different parts of your body and learn about what sensations feel good to you. This is especially important for women.{relatedarticles}

My sex advice is, the more you know about your own body, the better your lover will be able to please you. Guide him or her by saying positive things like, "I love it when you stroke my breast gently." Or "I would love you to use your magic mouth on my tummy and work your way down." This is a critical sex secret.

You can learn much more about sex secrets and creating passionate lasting love in my relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love." So pick up a copy. Everyone can use a little sex advice to spice up their lives!


Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. has been a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & authored the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love as well as the best-selling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days. Dr. Diana's revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.

 


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Tips for Keeping the Conversation Alive

Are you jealous of the born conversationalist? The person who can easily strike up a dialogue with strangers and make small talk with anyone in the room? Do you want to know their secrets for keeping a conversation alive? Here we have assembled some effective openers and fun fillers to help get your tongue untied and your brain working again after it has gone blank. Say goodbye to those awkward silences.

Ask Lots of Questions

It is hard to keep a conversation alive when you don't know anything about the other person-his interests, hobbies, political views, and values. When meeting someone for the first time, play the game of 20 questions to learn as much about the person as possible.

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Your goal is to ask enough questions to get a random hit and find common ground where the two of you can meet to enjoy a lengthy chat. A good set of initial and/or get-to-know-you questions include the basics:

  • Where are you from?
  • What school did you go to?
  • What's your favorite restaurant?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • What do you like to do on weekends?

Gossip

Two-thirds of all human conversation is gossip, so you better put it in your repertoire of conversation techniques. If you share mutual friends, acquaintances or colleagues, they can be your springboard to keeping the conservation alive.

Everyone enjoys gossiping, although few people admit to it because it sounds petty or trivial. Men seem to prefer to call it "keeping in touch," which is essentially a euphemism for gossip. To be an effective gossiper, remember to vary your voice (try lowering or elevating it for effect) and provide plenty of rich juicy detail.

Ask for Advice

Guys love to give advice, especially about cars and gadgets. To select a topic for advice, think about what is going on in your life. Are you in the market for a new car? Do you need to do some repair work around the house? Are you having trouble finding a certain app for your iPhone?

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As long as you are a good listener and attentive, your conversation partner will enjoy sharing his expert advice or at least his two cents. If you are lucky, you might even find an enthusiastic volunteer who will offer to help you in your endeavor.


Share an Experience (especially if it's funny)

Remember that a good conservation should have a rhythm to it. When one person dominates the discussion and the other is doing all the listening, you don't have a conversation-you have a lecture. Through sharing personal experiences, we crack open our outer shell so the other person can get to know "the zany and loveable nut inside."

Good stories become great stories once you tell them over and over again, embellishing them a little each time. Practicing your story a couple of times can help calm the butterflies in your stomach.

Give a Compliment

If the conversation looks like it is faltering, try giving a compliment. Even if the conservation ends shortly thereafter, at least you ended it on a high note. Complimenting a person on what he is wearing is always a good choice and remember to follow-up by asking a question about where they shop.

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Blurt Out Your Next Thought

If all else fails, try to blurt out the first thing that enters your head. Blurting is a conservation technique to break the awkward silence. If you can tie your stream of consciousness to something going on in your surroundings, that is even better.


Great Topics for Conversations (especially with men)

Food/Restaurants

Talking about food-shopping for it, preparing it, and eating it-allows the conversation to bounce back and forth. In discussing your favorite restaurant remember to provide delicious detail about what you love about it-the atmosphere, the appetizers, the desserts, the price, and the service.

As a follow-up, suggest getting a group together to go out. Planning an outing is another way to keep the conversation alive and kicking.

Movies

There is a countless number of movies and luckily a movie critic in every room. Everyone has a favorite movie or one that is on their radar to see soon. Enjoying a good movie and being able to talk about a movie are two different things.

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To keep a movie discussion going, you need to know how to share your impressions. The easiest way is to read reviews from movie critics. Don't substitute their reviews for you own, but jot down some phrases that they use so your next movie review will be a full-feature instead of a preview.


Homes

Home repairs are the bane of every homeowner's existence but great sources of conversation. Are you looking to spruce up your home and need some advice? Homeownership and rentals are a great foundation upon which to build a conversation. Share the good and bad of your home improvement projects or fiascos and don't forget to ask for advice and recommendations for contractors.

Pets

People love to talk about their pets, which often lead to long and personal conversations. Sharing stories about our pets shows our caring nature and as a bonus can be highly amusing. When a conversation begins to stall, reach for your phone or camera and bring up pictures of your adorable pet acting goofy to share.

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Cars

Besides our home, we practically live in our cars. If you are in the market to buy or lease a new car, ask for some advice and then for fun talk about your dream car. If you want to be on the other side of the conversation, attend a few auto shows and read car reviews online, so you can share your knowledge on the coolest and latest features and specs.

Remember that a good conversation is like a good ping-pong match, where the players keep the ball in continuous play. If your partner sends you a lob slowing down the conversation, pick it back up by using one of the conversation techniques previously outlined. If your partner smashes the ping-pong and it looks as if the conversation is over, ask him whether he has ever played ping-pong.

 


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