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Sometimes dating really stinks, particularly when there's no chemistry between you and your mate. But it's possible that you're turning each other off because of the way you each smell. Humans give off pheromones, or chemicals, that are... Read More
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Learn to Kegel

Kegel.

The word alone can cause a girl to giggle. But Kegels are no laughing matter. These exercises effectively strengthen the pelvic floor and the benefits are far reaching. After all, this is one muscle you want to give a workout, especially if you want to keep certain bodily functions under control.

Benefits of Kegel Exercises

Many factors, such as pregnancy, childbirth, being overweight and aging, can weaken the pelvic muscles and cause health problems. Kegel exercises help prevent your pelvic organs from bulging into your vagina, which can cause pelvic pressure and urine leakage.

Giving birth to a baby, especially vaginally, can take its toll on your sex life because of all the stretching your vagina had to do. However, Kegels can get your body feeling better than ever. In fact many women report an even better sex life after they start doing Kegel exercises.

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Best of all, Kegel exercises can be done anywhere - while you're at work, watching TV, on the computer, eating dinner or even while driving to work. You can do them discreetly without anyone knowing.

You don't need any equipment at all. Of course, there are devices called Kegel exercisers available on the market that claim to make your exercises even more effective, but in reality, these aren't required.


How to Do Kegel Exercises

If you are new to Kegel exercises, it can be a little nerve-wracking at first when you try to find the right muscles and worry about whether or not you are doing the exercises correctly. Just relax and follow these tips.

First, you need to find the correct pelvic floor muscles. This isn't necessarily for the faint of heart. To do so, place a finger inside your vagina and see if you can squeeze the muscles around it. While squeezing, you should feel your pelvic floor move up and your vagina tighten. Next, relax the muscles and feel your pelvis move back to where it was originally.

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Another trick is to stop your urine flow while urinating. If you can do that, then you've got the basic exercise down. However, don't regularly do Kegels on a full bladder or while emptying a full bladder. This can actually have the opposite effect causing weaker pelvic floor muscles and urinary tract infections.

Now that you have found the right muscles, you need to practice. Remember, practice makes perfect. Lie or sit down, contract your pelvic muscles, hold for 5 seconds, then relax for 5 seconds. Repeat this several times. When you feel comfortable, try to contract your muscles and hold for 10 seconds.


Your goal should be 10 repetitions several times a day. This may seem like a lot, but remember, Kegel exercises can be done easily whenever you are doing most activities. You can do them while eating, driving, playing on the computer or watching TV.

Kegels for men?

Although Kegel exercises are typically geared toward women, men can benefit from Kegels as well. For men who have problems with premature ejaculation or sexual performance, doing Kegels regularly can help men last longer and maintain a firmer erection.

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Because the pelvic muscles in men control the flow of semen and urine, strengthening them can help men last longer and have better sex for many years to come. It's the best thing they can do for their sexual well-being, and it will result in more pleasure for their partner as well.

For men, the easiest way to find their pelvic muscles is to try to stop the flow of urine while urinating. Another way, though less desirable, is to insert a finger into the anus and contract the muscles until the anus tightens. Once the muscles are found, it is critical to make sure the right ones are always being tightened.


What Not to Do

Now that you know how to do Kegel exercises, here are some things you should avoid doing:

  • Don't flex the muscles in your thighs, stomach or butt. Make sure that your focus is only on your pelvic floor muscles.
  • Do not hold your breath or force yourself to breathe. You should breathe regularly.
  • Don't do Kegels when you are trying to concentrate on something, such as learning a new task at work or at school. You may lose your concentration.
  • Don't overdo it. Too-frequent Kegel exercise sessions can cause soreness. You need time to rest, especially in the beginning, when your body is still not used to the new routine.

When You Need Help

Although many women are able to do Kegels, some women need a little more help. If that's the case with you, don't worry. Ask your doctor for feedback to ensure that you strengthen the right muscles.

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Some doctors can help you through biofeedback. A small probe is inserted into the vagina by your doctor and electrodes are placed around the vaginal or anal area. A monitor will show you if you are contracting the right pelvic muscles, as well as the length of time you are holding each contraction.


In rare cases, your doctor may recommend electric stimulation. Your doctor will apply a small electrical current to the muscles in your pelvic floor. The current causes your muscles to contract and produces a buzzing sensation. After this is replicated many times, you get used to the sensation and are eventually able to do Kegel exercises on your own.

Results

Just like anything, don't expect overnight results. If you do your Kegel exercises regularly, you should expect results within 8-12 weeks. Some women simply do Kegels to keep their health problems from getting worse, but others see dramatic results.

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However, once you see improvement, you should not discontinue the routine. Doing Kegels permanently will ensure that you do not see any decrease in the performance of your pelvic floor muscles.

Doing Kegel exercises has many benefits, especially in terms of sexual performance for both men and women. They're an easy way to make dramatic improvements to your health. Doing Kegels may be a little difficult at first, but in a short amount of time, you will be a pro. Incorporate Kegels into your exercise routine today and feel the difference. It's one move you won't mind doing.


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Fun Dates on the Cheap

Whether you're venturing out on a first date or sneaking away with your husband for a night without the kids, a date night doesn't have to break the bank. There are many outings you can try that are high in fun and low in price. Finding just the right activity when you're on a budget can basically bring upon unwanted stress. So why not explore these affordable options that won't drag you down financially? You and your date won't be sorry.

Organize a Game Night - Hit up the hall closet and pull out all the board games and cards you own. Spend an evening balancing Jenga blocks, counting your money in Monopoly or getting to UNO. Pop open a bottle of wine and make appetizers that can be eaten easily while playing, and you'll have a great low-key evening.

Scary Movie Marathon - There's nothing like cuddling up to your date during an especially scary or creepy scene in a horror movie. Stop by the local video store and pick up three of your favorites for a monster movie marathon. You can even pretend it's Halloween and stock the house with candy and popcorn.

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Stop and Smell the Roses - Look up a local garden or nature park in your area and gear up for an afternoon walk. Most parks are free or cost a nominal fee, and you can spend the day taking in the sights and sounds of nature while getting some exercise and also having lots of time to talk. Finish up your jaunt with a picnic with sandwiches from a local deli or sub shop.


Be a Tourist in Your Own City - Use date night as an excuse to explore the spots around your city or town that you've never managed to frequent. Whether it's the world's largest ball of yarn, an art museum, or tacky theme restaurant, you'll quickly learn there's no place like your hometown. You're sure to have a blast acting like an out-of-towner. Don't forget to bring along a camera for those cheesy posed photos!

 

Go See a Play - Try a new take on "dinner and a movie." Find out what's performing at your local playhouse and check it out. Tickets are usually cheap and support local artists. If it ends up being awful, you can have a good time making fun of it together or re-enacting your favorite awkward scenes in the parking lot after the curtain comes down.

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Wine Tasting or Brewery Tour - What's the best way to enjoy libations on the cheap? Visit a local winery or brewery for a tour or tasting. Not only will it be like going to happy hour without the big bill, you might also pick up some tips for what to serve at your next dinner party or backyard barbeque. Just make sure you have a safe ride to get home after swigging down your samples.

Break the Ice - Warm up to your date while hitting the ice at a local ice skating rink. Cuddle up with hot chocolate and use this as an excuse to wear your favorite scarf while you and your date make your way around the rink. Not an outdoor rink in your area? Use this date in the dredges of summer to beat the heat and get close to your sweetie with an indoor skate.


Play House - Look through the real estate listings in your area to see what open houses will be held on a Saturday or Sunday. Put on a suit and a nice dress and spend the afternoon playing make-believe by touring all the fancy houses for sale in your area and daydreaming about which one you would pick and how you would decorate it.

Do Some Good - Roll up your sleeves and spend a day volunteering together at a local animal shelter or food bank. Not only will you feel better about yourself, you'll make a difference in the community while getting to know each other or strengthening your relationship.

 

Let's Get Physical - If you're both the active type you can find a cheap exercise class to take together that will get your heart pumping. Even cheaper is a run in a park, bike ride, or an hour of self-led yoga on the beach.

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Make a Fresh Dinner - Find out where the local farmer's market is in your area and spend the morning picking out fresh and local ingredients for a dinner that evening. You can spend the rest of the day looking through recipes and coming up with ideas for your meal.

Shake Your Groove Thang - Break out your college black light and craft an i-Tunes playlist that would put your local DJ to shame. Spend an evening boogieing in the comfort of your own home without the overpriced cocktails and snotty doormen.


Embrace Your Inner Child - Spend a night at the local arcade playing video games, laser tag, and bumper cars. Allow yourself to indulge in pizza, hot dogs, and ice cream and get your date a funny gift with the tickets you've earned.

Casino Night - Find a casino in your area with penny slots and live music. You can enjoy people watching, dancing, and maybe winning some money while you take advantage of the cheap buffet and complimentary drinks.

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Catch a Game - Most cities have a nearby college or minor league sporting team that can offer a night of sports action for a fraction of the price of the pros. Check the schedules, don the team's colors, and head out for a night of beer, peanuts, and hot dogs.

 

Get Crafty - Pick up some blank canvases, tubes of paint, a few brushes, and markers and go to town. You can go outside for some artistic inspiration or challenge each other to paint something the other one suggests. Either way you'll end up with a fun night and something you can always remember it by.

 

It doesn't matter if you're feeling the financial burden, looking to spice up the routine date night or both; these ideas can provide a night of fun. If you really want to keep it interesting, write each of these ideas on a separate slip of paper. Place all of these ideas in a paper bag, shake it up and randomly draw one.

Who knows where the night will take you? One thing is for sure though - you'll get by on a shoestring.

 


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7 Ways to Become More Confident in the Bedroom

We've all had a moment in the heat of passion when our heart rate is raised and our faces flush for a reason other than pleasure or passion. We're talking about pure embarassment. Whether it's that first awkward encounter with a new lover, not feeling good in a post-baby body or a general lack of experience, low self-esteem and confidence in the boudoir can be the ultimate libido buster. You're not alone and you're not doomed! Check out these 7 ways you can become more confident in the bedroom.

Grin and Bare It - Taking off your clothes in front of someone whether you've known them for a few minutes or a few years can be nerve-wracking. Insecurity about our bodies being less than perfect can put the kibosh on a passionate evening. Getting over the fear of stripping down to your skivvies can be as easy as giving yourself a reality check.{relatedarticle}

Think about your body and interactions with a partner rationally - if you don't have big breasts with your clothes on, no one will expect you to when you disrobe. If that doesn't help, try spending more time in the nude.

Even just lounging around the house or spending a few extra minutes without dressing after a shower can help you become more comfortable in your birthday suit. If all else fails, turn off the lights or leave on something that covers you and is sexy like a camisole or lacey bra.


 

 

Educate Yourself - Read up on the karma sutra, watch a video, look at sexy pictures or take a pole dancing class. Anything you can do increase your knowledge of all things sexy will make it easier for you to switch things up in the boudoir if you're feeling boring or routine. This is also a good way to identify what you do and don't like. Plus, checking out risqué material is a great form of foreplay.

 

Fake it Until You Make It - Sure, playing Sexy Sally the Secretary might make you cringe but pretending to be into it for the sake of your partner's pleasure could end up making you feel more powerful and confident. By agreeing to new sexual experiences you will begin to feel more comfortable and the apprehension will fade.{relatedarticle}

Even if your hands are shaking or you feel like you might laugh - pin him down, don the cowgirl outfit or talk dirty. It will all be worth it in the end. However, remember that if your partner is asking you to do something you feel is unsafe or makes you extremely uncomfortable - get out of there.

 

Stop Looking at What Everyone Else is Doing - Watching television, flipping through a fashion magazine or trolling the internet for hours may be fine for a lazy Sunday but if you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to models, actresses or the scenes in romantic comedies you are sure to set yourself up for failure.


The models are airbrushed, the actresses coached and the storylines aren't real. It's important to remember this when evaluating your own body and relationship. Doing whatever is comfortable and works for you is what's right not what you see on a screen or in a glossy book.

Don't Obsess Over the Big "O" - It is not uncommon to hear stories of women who have been having sex for years without reaching orgasm or who think of themselves as a complete failure if their partner fails to achieve one.{relatedarticle}

Putting pressure on yourself to make sure you have an orgasm or comparing your self-worth and sexiness to your partner having one can make sex so stressful that it is no longer fun or pleasurable but instead turns into a chore or an anxious "test." Relax and let yourself be present in the moment. Focus on the feelings and stimulation you do feel instead of what you think might be missing.

 

Change Your Location - Bedrooms are places for sleeping but many hours of our lives are spent in this room. Bedrooms can easily turn into offices, television hideouts, dining room tables and playrooms that can squash intimacy.


You may lose your mojo if you're looking at a stack of work papers or your baby's pacifier mid-coitus so it's important to change it up from time to time and take it out of the bedroom. The living room couch can be just as exhilarating as the phone booth down the street if it's what you need to feel sexy again.

See a Professional - If you've tried different techniques on your own to no avail, it may be time to call in a professional. A psychologist, family physician or both can be excellent resources if you just can get past your shyness.

A psychologist or sex therapist can help you work through your issues and offer you solutions while a physician can make sure there isn't an underlying health issue creating your sexual problems. Sexual dysfunction in both mind and body are nothing to be ashamed of and it's important to identify and resolve issues as soon as possible.{relatedarticle}

 

Remember that sexual confidence is not something that you need to validate you. In fact, obsessing over it and can actually make you feel worse and be a turn-off for you partner. Know yourself and know your body.

Accepting yourself and your limitations will not only open up the door for a better sexual experience, you will begin to feel empowered in other areas of your life like career and parenting. Use these 7 tips to get started, but don't stop there. The more you allow yourself to ease up and open your mind and take chances, the better the outcome.


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