Today's Love Tip
Face it: Sometimes you just don't feel all that sexy. But regardless of the reasons why, sometimes it can be tough to get your groove back. So when you feel unsexy and don't have the urge to hop into bed with your significant other, what do... Read More
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How to Spot a Player

You finally met the guy of your dream: he's handsome, smooth, assertive and very likeable. He always says the right things and has all the qualities you are looking for in a man. But you may have noticed him behaving differently lately.

If you think something is wrong, you may be right. Your guy may be a player. A player is a guy who is only interested in you for one thing: sex. Then, when something better comes along (such as a prettier woman), he's done with you. Here are some ways to identify a player.

  • He displays a particular body language. He'll wear a smirk instead of a smile. He'll strut with a swagger and roll his shoulders forward. These characteristics mean he's on the prowl for a new woman to fall prey to his charms.{relatedarticles}
  • If he sees you for the first time and is interested in you, he'll immediately get too close and invade your personal space. Or if he sees you catching his eye from afar, he'll just stare at you for a while instead of glancing at you and then looking away, like most single men do when they catch the eye of a pretty lady. If his behavior seems a little strange or pushy, then he's most likely trying to play you.
  • He always seems to focus on anything else but you. If he doesn't seem to be paying to attention, it's because something (or someone) else caught his eye. His wandering eyes are surveying the area in search of pretty ladies.
  • He has all the player paraphernalia. You like his flashy car, designer underwear and expensive watch, do you? That's why he bought it. He knows this stuff will attract the ladies and hopefully increase his chances of having sex.
  • He displays feminine characteristics - wears lots of jewelry, has his nails perfectly manicured, focuses a lot on his hair or is always primping in a mirror. This type of guy obviously cares about himself too much - so much that he won't have time to love you sincerely.{relatedarticles}
  • He calls or texts you in the late hours - typically after 11 p.m. You may think it's sweet, but really - why not talk to you during normal daytime hours? If you only hear from him at night, it's because he's only looking for one thing: sex. He's looking for a booty call, and you can bet that you're not the only girl he's calling or texting.
  • He has more female friends than male friends. If every time you go somewhere, all the ladies know him by name, then that is a huge red flag. That means he's been around and has secured the title of player. Run away from this dude!
  • If he does have male friends, he will act totally different. He will pretend he doesn't know who you are or act like the biggest jerk. You gave him what he wanted (or maybe you didn't - good for you!), and now he doesn't care about you or pretends you don't exist. Whatever. You don't need this loser anyway.
  • He acts like the nicest person in the world. He's very smooth and always knows the right things to say. He'll continue the act until you give him what he wants (sex), and then you'll see his true self. Don't waste your time. If he sounds too good to be true, he most likely is. Move on before he breaks your heart.
  • He only talks to you about physical things and intimacy (sex, kissing, etc.). If a booty call is all he's thinking about, then it's time to move on. He doesn't care about your life. He doesn't want a serious relationship with you. He's just using you for your body.{relatedarticles}
  • He doesn't want to hang out with you, or if he does, he cancels at the last minute. He only wants to be with you if you're going to be intimate with him. If he cancels at the last minute, he's likely found someone else to sleep with. Let her have him!
  • He no longer contacts you. If you slept with him, the relationship is likely over because he got what he wanted. If he does call you, it's for sexual purposes only. Or he may appear and disappear for days or weeks at a time. If you don't ever hear from him again, it's because he's already moved on to his next "victim."
  • He always has his phone with him. This is because he can't leave it anywhere for fear that you might get a hold of it and find phone numbers or messages from the other girls he's been with. If he seems to be too overprotective of his phone, or he is always texting or calling others instead of spending time with you, then you know he's got other women on the mind.
  • He makes slip-ups regarding information. If he seems to be forgetful - doesn't know what you do for a living (after you've already told him 10 times), can't seem to remember your favorite food, or worse yet, forgets your name, then you have a player on your hands. He also may keep telling you the same things over and over again. That's because he can't keep his women straight. Run straight for the door and away from this fool!{relatedarticles}
  • He has his place where he takes all the ladies. It might be a dark corner of a bar or a nice romantic restaurant. You may think it's just him being romantic, but it's just a ruse to get you in the mood for sex. If he takes you somewhere and everyone there knows him by name, it could be because he's a regular and has taken dozens of women there.

If your guy exhibits any of these traits, run as far away from him as you can. Being involved with a player will only cause unnecessary stress, heartache and sleepless nights. You're too good for him. You need a man who will respect you, love you for who you are and stay committed to you. You won't get that from a player.


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5 Ways to Make Him Want You While You're Gone

Almost every couple has to go through periods of time when they're apart; people have to work, and business trips are just a fact of life for many couples. For some couples, that constant separation can eventually take its toll on the relationship.

We all know that romance is essential for a successful relationship, but just because you are not in the same room as your boyfriend or husband doesn't mean you can't get him hot. Honing your long-distance romance skills can keep the romance alive during the times when you and your partner are apart. But before you start sending him dirty texts, you need to keep a few things in mind.{relatedarticles}

First, you have to respect your partner's boundaries. Being a bit naughty is fun, and it can add some heat to your romance, but if your partner seems uncomfortable, stop and talk about what is OK and what isn't next time you're together.

Second, use common sense. Texting racy photos of yourself to his iPhone in the middle of the day when he's likely to be in a business meeting? Bad idea. The idea is to send him seductive messages that will build up a desire for you like water to a dam that breaks the moment he sees you again. Make him want you more and more throughout the day, but don't get him too hot and bothered during his morning staff meeting.


Sexy Texting

One of the best ways to connect from any place on the planet is with a text message. You can let him know easily that you are having a great time and keep him hot with a few seductive messages.

Remember, men are creatures with very vivid, active imaginations. The trick to long-distance romance is to give him a few hints about how much you look forward to some hot, welcome-back action, rather than just bluntly stating it. Text about your great new tan. Follow up with a text about how much you love the new bikini you bought at the mall and let his brain do the rest.

Long, Lusty Letters

When short bursts like texts on your trip start to feel less like seductive messages and more like teasing that he cannot do anything about, think about switching to email. If you have a partner who is a total romantic, he will really get into the idea of you taking time to step away from your business meetings on a company trip just to remind him that you find him sexy.{relatedarticles}

These letters should strike a perfect balance between talking about your trip and letting him know that you miss him in bed. Too much pining for his hands on your hips starts to sound desperate and sad, two things that should have no place on your vacation or business trip.

Mention things that you see or learn while away, things that make you miss his caress. Describing scents that remind you of him - scents that get you hot, no matter how far apart you may be - will help plant ideas about how you cannot wait to get home, catch that scent and then have your way with him.


Talk Dirty and Flirty

Give him a call and let him know what dirty thoughts you are having every night that he is not there. This will appeal to his ego and remind him that long-distance romance helps rediscover your desires.

Do not worry about being shy when you chat over the phone about his body pressed up against yours, or how your lips are practically quivering with anticipation for that moment when they can explore his body, or how much you are looking forward to having his lips and fingers all over you after setting a land speed record on the drive home from the airport.

If you are not comfortable getting dirty on the phone, then vocally seductive messages may not be the best way for you to spark up your long-distance romance. It may help to just let him narrate your imaginative sexual encounters over the phone, especially when you love how his voice sounds.{relatedarticles}

Teasing with Video Chat

Cameras are practically standard equipment on most laptops and mobile devices these days. That means you can be on separate continents, yet still you can get a rise out of him with your naughty dance moves or revealing vacation wardrobe.

Be sure that this only happens when you are both able to get into it. In other words, trying to have a sexy video chat while one of you is on a train, plane or bus is going to lead to some awkward glances. Plan your sexy video chats around your schedules so that you can go somewhere private, preferably your hotel room. This way, you can do everything you would if you were actually together, short of actually touching. This is a great way to ramp up the lust level beyond seductive messages, as you tease to please while he awaits your return.


Leave a Surprise

A simple way to help you keep him desperately awaiting your return is clever planning. If there is a pair of panties he goes wild over, you can tease him by leaving them under his pillow or in his sock drawer. He will see them and immediately flash to visual memories of how they look hugging your curves.{relatedarticles}

Combine little surprises like this with seductive messages, and he will be sure to keep on wanting you and feeling the long-distance romance, no matter where you go or how long you are gone. Just like your seductive messages and other long-distance romance tricks, however, be sure that you keep it practical. Sticking a thong in his suit jacket pocket, for example, could go horribly wrong if he does not discover the thong until he is in a meeting.

 


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How to Introduce Your Kids to Your Man

Dating after a divorce can be exciting. You're on your own for the first time, rediscovering yourself and your needs. You're meeting new people and forming new relationships, and you're finally happy. If you have kids, though, it's important to note that you aren't the only one to think of when you begin post-divorce dating.

There are many obstacles you have to overcome when introducing a new boyfriend into your children's lives. Kids are fiercely loyal to their parents, and a new man can make them feel threatened, like it's a betrayal to their father and the life they've grown up with. It also threatens the time and attention they get from their mothers, making them feel neglected and left out. In addition, children are always holding out for their parents to reunite; a new boyfriend just cements the fact that it's not going to happen.

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Make sure you take time in introducing your kids to your new mate. It won't be a quick or painless process, but if you take it slow and are calculated in how your kids are exposed to them, a good relationship will develop over time. Here are some tips for introducing your children to your new man:

Make the Initial Meeting Fun

It's important that the first time your kids meet your boyfriend, they don't feel pressured or threatened. Introduce them in a fun, light-hearted environment, like the zoo, a park or a game of laser tag. Make the outing something that's enjoyable for your kids, so when they think of your new guy, they equate it with happiness and fun.


Don't get too serious in the first couple of meetings. Your boyfriend should talk to your kids as friends, taking interest in their lives, having fun with them and developing a good solid foundation. There should be no serious or future-related conversations in the beginning. Keep it light.

Reaffirm your Love for them

Kids often feel threatened by the presence of a new man. Not only does this man mean their dad is definitely not coming back, but it also means that they aren't the only ones in their mom's life anymore.

Children often feel neglected or replaced when their mother starts spending time with a significant other. Going out without them and showing love for someone else makes them feel like less of a priority in your life. Affirm your love for them while you're dating. Make sure they know you will always be there for them and that you do not love them any less just because you have a new man in your life.

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Stray from the PDA

PDA (public display of affection) is an outright threat to children. Until this point, your kids have only seen you kiss one man - their father. To see you kiss a new man whom they barely know is just going to confuse and frighten them.


Save the PDA until your children know your new boyfriend and are comfortable around him. Once your kids are comfortable hugging your new man or holding his hand, you can be, too.

Don't be the Dad

Make sure your man doesn't play into the "father" role when meeting your kids the first couple of times. That means no discipline and no overt signs of affection. Pressuring them to see your new boyfriend as a father is only going to backfire, bringing up feelings of loyalty to their father.

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Give your children time to get to know your man before letting them see him as a father-type figure. Over time, they will adjust to your guy's presence and this will fall into place.

Focus on Small Doses

Don't overwhelm your children. Let them meet your boyfriend in small, short doses - not for full days at a time. Give them time to process this new person in their lives and form their own opinions and ideas about the relationship. This will allow them time to ask you questions and discuss any concerns with you.

This also ensures your kids don't feel left out or neglected by all the time you're spending with your new man.


No Arguing

Children are fiercely protective of their mothers, so make sure your man keeps this in mind when spending time around you and your kids. One unkind word or mean look sent in your direction could anger and upset your children, forever changing the way they see him.

Tell your guy not to argue with you in front of them. If he needs to discuss something, ask him to save it for later, when the two of you are alone. Doing so in front of the kids will cause them to come to your defense or attack him. Neither of which are good for a budding relationship.

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Give Gifts

A little bribery never hurt anyone. Encourage your new guy to bring gifts or treats to your kids the first few times when meeting them. This will give them good memories of him, and make them want to see him again.

It could be a small toy they've been wanting, their favorite candy, or just buying them dessert at dinner. Anything that equates a "good" or "fun" feeling with your new guy is a smart move.


Have Candid Conversations

Let your kids know they can talk to you about any questions or concerns they may have. In turn, make sure your kids know what your needs and wants are, and what your motivation for beginning to date again is. Tell them what your end goal is - happiness for both you and them.

If you're recently divorced and are starting to date, it's important to take time in introducing your children and your new boyfriend. Kids often feel threatened and angered by the presence of a new man in their mother's lives, so take steps to prevent that.

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Make introductions fun, and don't overwhelm them. Have frank discussions, and make sure they know you're there for them and love them unconditionally. Give them time to process the changes in their lives, and soon enough, the pieces will fall into place.


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