Today's Love Tip
For many women (and men) who experience abuse in romantic relationships, a way out may not seem possible when the attacks continue to happen. Abusive relationships seem to hold victims in thrall, either too scared or too worried about the... Read More
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5 Things He Wants To See You In ... And Out Of

As women, we all know what makes us feel sexy and most of it involves a certain level of comfort. Unfortunately, what we like and what makes us feel sexy might not always mesh with what our men want to see us in and what they want to see us get out of either. While we might think that a nice black dress will do the trick to keep them foaming at the mouth, the men in our lives might beg to differ.

Even if something that you have worn for ages has seemed to do the trick in the past, it might be time for a change to keep things interesting. Here are the top 5 things that he likely wants to see you in, then out of (in no particular order).

1. Sexy Lingerie

It sounds cliché, but there is a reason why places like Victoria's Secret exist. Luckily, this is not your mother's lingerie. There are so many different options that you can choose from when picking out lingerie and it no longer has to be uncomfortable. You can opt for the simple yet sexy, or you can go for something with all of the kinky bells and whistles.

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When it comes to taking off your sexy lingerie, you can do a strip tease or have him take it off for you one piece at a time. The bottom line: he wants to see you in something that offers enough of a tease that you are hiding something but not too much that you don't allow him to use his imagination. It all depends on what your man likes, though, so see if you can get it out of him without him knowing before you empty the racks of your nearest lingerie shop.


2. A Thong

As much as many women hate to wear thongs, men simply love them. They love the idea of not being able to see everything but being able to see enough to keep their interest and imagine what might be underneath. If you were uncomfortable the last time you tried on a thong, try one on again.

There have been some pretty cool advancements in this type of underwear, meaning that in some cases, you might not even feel like you are wearing anything. This can eliminate underwear lines and keep your man guessing what you are wearing under your clothes. When it comes to taking them off, he can use his hands or his teeth.

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3. A Low-Cut Dress

Sure, there are leg men and butt men out there. But most men adore breasts, and they like to see at least some partial cleavage in anything that you wear. If you have any size to your breasts, then you can perk them up with a nice-fitting push-up bra and then wear a low-cut dress over it for a sexy look. If you are flat-chested or have more of an A cup, then you can go even lower with the cut of the dress.

Yes, it leaves less to the imagination, but it also provides a stunning and daring look that can leave your man wanting even more. With a low-cut dress, there is more than one way that you can get out of it, making it easy for him and for you when the time comes.


4. High Heels

This is more along the lines of those spiky high heels that you see in the movies, not something that you would necessarily wear to work. These high heels typically are black and almost always exude a sexy quality that cannot be found with any other type of shoe. Six-inch would be best but go higher if you can handle it. Practice walking around the house in your heels first so you don't stumble.

Whether you are fully dressed and are getting ready for a night on the town or if you are playing dress-up at home with your man, you should find a sexy pair of heels that you can slip on quickly when the time calls for it. When it comes to the height of your high heels, the higher the better. Even if you have trouble walking in them, don't worry. You likely won't be wearing them for very long anyway.

5. Makeup

The idea of this is a little less sexy, for sure, but the makeup that you wear on your face is just as important as what you wear on your body. It can make your man more turned on when he sees you wearing some daring eyeliner or some hot pink lipstick. You can go as crazy as you want here - if you have some time to yourselves and are in for an adventurous night, then you can pull out all the stops when it comes to your makeup.

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Check what is in your arsenal for some ideas right off the bat and add to it if you find that your makeup is less sexy than you want it to be. Just like he will love to see you in it, your man will also love to see you out of your makeup.


Many men today love a more natural look - or even women who wear minimal makeup or makeup that goes unnoticed by the naked eye. He will see your beauty shine through both with your makeup and without it.

These are just 5 of the many, many things that he would love to see you in - and out of. If you use your imagination, you likely can come up with dozens more. You know your man more than most people do, so what you wear entirely depends on the types of things he likes.

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If you know him well, then you know what he wants and how to get him in the mood with what you wear. Even if you don't, you still can experiment with some of the things on this list to see where you land. You never know, you might discover new things about yourself and your man that can add some serious spice to your sex life.


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4 Sizzling Movies to Turn up the Spice

Ask your man about his idea of a hot movie to get you in the mood, and it's likely you'll get a one-word answer: porn. The notion makes many of us ladies cringe our noses, but why is that? It probably has something to do with the way we're wired. When it comes to steamy flicks to get us in the mood, having an in-depth story line definitely helps, anything to give that emotional connection. Then again, if you're looking for a film that gets both of you in the mood, you don't want anything borderline sappy chick-flick.

It's a fine balance, finding a movie that will appeal to his basic instincts and your need to connect and stimulate all senses. Luckily, some of the major movie studios haven't let us down. There is a little bit of something for everyone here, with some tempting options spanning the 80s, 90s, and today. Here's our take on the top 4 hottest movies to get you going.

Wild Orchid

What it's About: When Emily accepts a job with an international law firm, it comes with one condition: She must be able to fly out the next day to Rio de Janeiro to help the firm's top executive, Claudia, close the sale of a hotel. A turn of events pulls Claudia away to Buenos Aires, and Emily is encouraged to take her boss' date, James Wheeler, for the night. Emily is instantly drawn to Wheeler's quiet and intriguing personality. After a slew of sexual encounters (including one with a masked stranger at Carnival and heated conversation with Claudia and a surfer in their hotel room) the sexual tension Emily feels for Wheeler comes to a breaking point.

Why it's Hot: The scent of wild orchids like the ones Wheeler gave Emily can all at once be both overwhelming but beautiful, much like the intoxicating cloud that seems to envelope the setting for this movie with lustful undertones. Add the steaminess of Rio with the intrigue of Carnival and the allure of Mickey Rourke (in 1989, pre-surgery of course) and it's no wonder that Emily was swept along on a wave of lust and desire that even she couldn't seem to control.

Tasty Tidbit: The original cut was edited to be suitable for an R-rating. Look for the uncut version, with a love scene between Claudia and Wheeler that is rumored to this day to be more than merely acting.

9 1/2 Weeks

What it's About: This mid-80s flick could be described as borderline "S&M in the City." A chance meeting at a Chinese grocery store in New York City is where their eyes first locked. As luck would have it, Elizabeth (played by Kim Basinger), a Soho art gallery assistant, and John, a commodities broker, meet again at a local flea market. This time, John presents her with a stole, and after taking her back to his houseboat, offers an experimental sexual relationship. She accepts, and in the weeks that follow, Elizabeth is swept up in the eroticism. As the sexual journey unfolds, the movie comes to an unexpected conclusion.

Why it's Hot: In everyday life, it seems there is a routine, a familiarity with relationships and intimacy. From the start, Elizabeth and John do not follow the traditional path of romance. After all, John blindfolds her during their first sexual encounter - a foreshadowing of what is to come. As the movie unfolds, John calls Elizabeth at random times, encourages her to experiment with her sexuality, pushing her to the brink of her limits. As the two fall deeper into their sexual obsession, Elizabeth spends her workdays in a haze, perhaps partly from lust and partly from lack of sleep.

Once again, it doesn't hurt that John is played by a 1980s Mickey Rourke, the decade's hottest commodity.

Tasty Tidbit: One scene to watch for is when John blindfolds Elizabeth and feeds her an array of foods, tantalizing the senses. Want to know what makes this scene perhaps the most talked about from the entire film? You'll have to watch and find out.

Basic Instinct

What it's About: This movie has some of the most alluring facets of a Hollywood film. It has a little rock "n roll, mixed with murder and of course - sex. The stage is set with the murder of rocker Johnny Boz. When San Francisco detective Nick Curran (Michael Douglas) is assigned to the case, he immediately suspects that crime novelist Catherine Trammel (Sharon Stone), also coincidentally Boz's girlfriend, viciously killed him. The murder weapon: an ice pick.

Interrogating her turns out to be harder than he could have imagined. Catherine is not only intense and seductive, she's also clever. What follows next is a mind game first fueled by lust and then lived out in wild sexual forays the likes Curran has never experienced.

Why it's Hot: Nick and Catherine's relationship begins as a cat-and-mouse game of sorts. The mind games build anticipation for the torrid sexual relationship to follow. Mixed in is a sense of danger. Catherine says she'll base her next novel's main character on a cop who falls in love with a woman who eventually kills him. This flick is truly a thriller with explicit sex scenes thrown in, for good measure.

Tasty tidbit: Director Paul Verhoeven must have done something right, because the thriller turned out to be one of the top grossing films of the 90s, raking in more than $350 million. The original version was originally rated NC-17, but after cutting nearly a minute of explicit sex scenes, it was dropped back down to its mainstream R-rating. If you want to see the film in its entirety, look for the director's cut.

Secretary

What it's About: Meet Lee, a subdued young woman who has just gotten out of a mental hospital for her masochistic habits and returned home to Florida. She takes a job as a secretary at Edward Grey's law firm. Edward has a unique management style. Typos and other office errors call for a firm spanking, where Lee must place both hands on the desk while he hits her lightly until her skin is reddened. While this may sound borderline abusive (not to mention violating all sorts of sexual harassment laws), it's presented in a deliciously fun and light-hearted way as Lee begins to crave her boss' hard hand of discipline. As she begins to purposely mess up just to receive more spankings, sexual fantasies ensue.

Why it's Hot: This quirky play on the secretary-boss stereotype takes the notion of dominance and submission role playing to the extreme. While we tend to stray from an attitude of subservience in our everyday lives, this film has fun with the concept in a purely sexual way. Throughout most of the film, Edward and Lee don't actually have sex, but instead fantasies build the anticipation. It doesn't hurt that Edward is played by James Spader, already known for his TV role as a charming, quick-witted lawyer, and that Lee (Maggie Gyllenhaal) appears so sweet on the surface but is ready to do most anything - no matter how deranged - to get sexual release
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7 People You Should Never Sleep With

Romantic relationships are often filled with many exciting twists and turns. But just because you feel that special tingle for someone doesn't mean you're a good match. There are boundaries that always need to be considered, even if you honestly think you've met the love of your life.

So before you schedule any candlelit dinners, take a look at this list of seven people who you should steer clear of romantically at all costs.

Your Doctor

Doctors have a special role in our society. They're regarded as heroes in many senses and with good reason. Whether your physician detects a life-threatening illness or gives you psychological feedback that improves your overall outlook, it's natural to look up to any doctor who has helped you.

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However, your gratitude should be expressed by paying the bill on time, not sharing your body in an intimate way. Sadly, some doctors take advantage of their patients' vulnerability and extreme gratitude by crossing the line into the physical realm. And because there is an unspoken hierarchy of power in this kind of sexual relationship, the patient can feel no choice in the matter.


In fact, psychiatrists and psychologists in particular are able to exploit this reality more than any other type of physician because of the emotional weakness of their patients.

But you don't have to be a victim. If you make your boundaries clear, you can prevent yourself form being manipulated into any kind of sexual relationship with a doctor. It's best to keep this acquaintance on a professional level where it belongs.

Your Lawyer

Like all interactions with your doctor, the relationship you share with your lawyer should be just as straightforward for many of the same reasons. But there is an added incentive for not stepping into any sexual escapades with your attorney. Such an action could negatively affect the ability to advise you as objectively as possible.

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The Code of Ethics exists because of this very conflict. Any appearance of impropriety could also cause problems between a lawyer and his or her firm, which can only make things so much worse for everyone involved.


Furthermore, the stress of a court case may cause you to feel more susceptible to romance, especially if you look at your lawyer as your true protector. The intensity and the anxiety of any kind of legal matter can stir up sexual feelings that will just get in the way of resolving the issues at hand.

So to eliminate any needless complications, think of your lawyer as a hired specialist, not a potential bedmate.

Your Boss

Sleeping with your boss is never a good idea. Once again, the inequality of power in this relationship is a major reason to avoid any sexual entanglement. You will never be a peer or a partner with someone who has such undue influence over your career.

Even more importantly, by allowing yourself to enter into a sexual relationship with your boss, you could be jeopardizing your entire professional future.

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Every relationship has its issues. But romantic problems with a boss who controls every facet of your job may lead to disaster. Performing your professional duties can't help but suffer under these circumstances. You also may be opening yourself up to a company investigation of sexual harassment, which can serve to damage your reputation in the long run.


While it may be tempting to jump into bed with the boss, don't take this leap. It could cost you a career you've worked hard to attain.

Your Best Friend

Close friendships are important connections in life. Many of them take years to build, developing trust and a special understanding of the other person that can only happen over time.

When best friends move from a platonic bond to something sexual, both people are taking a big risk. The entire dynamic of the friendship instantly changes, never to return to its original state. With sex comes different emotions and a new level of attachment that could ruin what once was the perfect friendship.

Although there are cases where best friends have evolved into a successful couple, that isn't the norm. So before you share your feelings with a pal of several years, make sure you understand that you could be sacrificing a longtime friendship for a romp in the hay.

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Your Employee

Just like sleeping with your boss is a bad idea, so is a romantic encounter with an employee. The same principles are in play. This time, however, you're the one in the power seat. But the results may turn out exactly the same.


Not only do you risk a sexual harassment lawsuit, but your entire reputation may be scarred for years to come. Work duties, which are the reason you're at the office in the first place, may fall by the wayside, too.

Keep your professional contacts on a professional basis, even if you're tempted by a cutie who comes your way. Sex with an underling is not worth the potential sacrifices you might have to make in the long run.

Your Co-Worker

Although there may not be a power dynamic in sleeping with a co-worker, other problems could be just as damaging. For one thing, there are boundary issues. It's harder to focus on getting your work done, if your significant other is always in the office with you. And if your relationship is going through some rocky times, good luck separating the personal and the professional aspects of your interaction.

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You may also feel claustrophobic because whether you're at home or at work, you're always together. That means you have no time to breathe. Over time, you might also feel that work defines the relationship you share, making it more difficult to grow as a couple.


It's natural to find co-workers attractive, especially if you spend many hours together. But think about how your work atmosphere could change for the worse, if you move this relationship into the bedroom.

Your Relative

Sex with a relative is always taboo unless the particular family member is a million times removed from your bloodline. But even then, it's a bit on the iffy side. There's the chance that any children that come of this union could face life with some kind of deformity. You also might encounter tension with other relatives because of your sexual relationship.

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For many reasons, it's best to keep your familial relations on a platonic level. There are plenty of appealing people who don't share your DNA to choose from.


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