Sex Myths Explored

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Men are always thinking about sex. Happy couples have a lot of awesome sex. Planned sex isn't romantic or satisfying. The myths are everywhere, and even if they might not be painted on billboards, somehow, at one point or another, many of us have ended up believing 1 of these common lies.

The mythology surrounding sex is perhaps the most perpetuated in the world, possibly in all of creation. There are some social and psychological explanations for why people believe the things that they do about sex, sure, but we can put an end to the nonsense right now by debunking some of the most popular and outrageous sex myths.

Men want sex more than women do. Not at all. Unlike men, however, women's sexual desires are more subject to the whims of hormone cycles. Men receive a regular, steady supply of hormones to their brain, whereas women's monthly hormonal changes make them more prone to have a lot of sex at certain times of the month, and disinclined others.

Men are always ready for sex. This might be true of newly post-pubescent high school and college students. Young men generally think about sex all day, no matter what other activities they are (or should be) engaged in. Once a man reaches his mid-20s, however, other parts of his life start to take center stage, whether it's studies or a career, and real-life stressors start to catch up to that once indefatigable sex drive.

Men are susceptible to the same stressors women are, and pressure, money, arguments, work, and the foibles of life drain sexual desire, just like they do for women.

Men are more promiscuous than women. Well... this one is kind of true, but not as true as you might think, because women tend to underestimate their sex lives, while men tend to overestimate, according to a recent poll. This is likely because of societal pressures placed on both sexes.

Because of this, men believe that they are expected to behave in a certain way, and that they are somehow measured by the number of women with whom they have slept. While there is a whole argument to be made about how these types of messages are encouraging the wrong kind of behavior, that's for another day.

If you're good in bed, you can please anyone. While it's likely that someone with a good deal of experience and practice will turn out to be a better romp in the sheets than a virgin, experience isn't everything. Your emotional and psychological state can have as much an influence over your bedroom experience.

Happy couples have great sex all the time. Life and its pressures get in the way often, especially for a couple that has children. Sometimes it can be hard to line up mutual schedules and still feel in the mood. Just because you're not having sex multiple times per week doesn't mean there is something wrong with your sex life, and if you and your partner don't feel the urge to do so that often, then what's the big deal?

That doesn't necessarily mean that a couple that has been married for 8 years and has 2 children can't have a fantastic sex life, but their definition of that sex life may be different from yours. Like anything, your perception of your sex life is subjective, and if you and your partner are both satisfied, that's really all that matters.

If you plan to have sex and it isn't spontaneous, something is wrong with your sex life. No, you and your partner just have a busy life outside the bedroom, and there's nothing wrong with that. The hormones that fuel spontaneous desire tend to lapse after about 18 months or so of being in a relationship, although many couples find that desire takes a dramatic dip after about 9 months of dating.

That doesn't mean you and your partner will never again be attracted to one another, but gentle reminders to both your brain and your body can help. Spontaneous sex is good, but the anticipation of a planned evening also makes for an enjoyable experience.

Most women orgasm through intercourse. Few myths have been perpetuated as much as this one has. Only about 30% of women orgasm from penetration alone, according to some studies, and many need clitoral stimulation in order to achieve climax. This is no one's fault, and it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with a woman's body or with a man's performance.

If the female body were re-imagined, maybe someone would have the good sense to put the clitoris inside the vagina instead of outside of it. Sure, some women have fabulous orgasms from penetrative sex and love it, but that's the exception, not the rule.

Women don't like dirty sex or porn. Completely false. Not all men are pornography connoisseurs, and not all women want rose petals on their pillows. Every person is different and has different preferences, and those preferences don't have anything to do with gender.

Watching porn isn't necessarily a guy thing, and researchers from Washington University's School of Medicine found that when women look at erotic images, they experience the same rapid increase in brainwave activity that men do. Some men enjoy a romantic evening, some enjoy pornography, many enjoy both, and the same is true for women as well.

If someone has an affair, it's because he or she doesn't love their partner. If your partner cheats on you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are not loved, but it is a pretty strong indicator that he doesn't respect you enough to be faithful to you. (This only goes for relationships in which both partners have mutually agreed to be monogamous, of course.)

People cheat for a variety of reasons, and while some fall back on the excuse of sex addiction or alcohol or circumstance, the truth is that it's a complex issue that can't be reduced to just 1 variable or another. Just remember maintain the value of your own morals in this case.