The Secret Reasons for Divorce

Sometimes, it seems like a divorce came from out of the blue. A seemingly happy couple calls it quits, and their friends and families are left shell-shocked. Obviously, whatever problems caused the divorce were apparent to the couple. It's hard for those not involved to imagine why a marriage breaks up, unless some of the obvious signs, like infidelity, abuse and other apparent issues, are present. Much of the time, breakups happen as a result of unexpected factors. Early in marriages, couples should tend to some of the following issues. A sudden change in lifestyle can be jarring for some individuals - learning to share everything, including their privacy, can be tough for those who haven't lived together. Having certain expectations and a level of understanding for the other partner can be difficult for those not used to sharing all aspects of their lives. If expectations aren't communicated, then it can create friction in the relationship.
It can be pretty shocking to think a couple that's been together for years and years might divorce at some point, but it does happen. Once a couple is more established, we think they've weathered any storms that have come their way, when in reality, they may simply have learned to live with each other. The dealbreakers at this phase of life usually are definitive - infidelity, abuse, money problems, disagreements about children, addiction - but some may just be niggling issues that have worn the couple out over the years, such as a lack of passion, sexual miscommunication and changing priorities. People change, and so do their interests. A partner's lack of interest, accommodation or flexibility about the other's new passions, such as volunteerism, politics or anything else, can cause major problems. It boils down to partners valuing one another and attempting to understand each other as they navigate life together.