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Caught Cheating? What To Do Next

Most people don't purposely set out to cheat on their partner. It's unlikely someone wakes up one morning and adds infidelity to his or her agena. It just happens. Unfortunately, cheaters never prosper, especially when they get caught in the fact. And the fallout can often be catastrophic for everyone involved. Are you prepared for what happens next?

What to Expect

Obviously, your man is not going to be too happy about the thought of you being unfaithful to him. He will most likely be outraged that you broke his trust in you. It doesn't matter if it was just a one-time thing. How does he know that it won't happen again?

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If you want to salvage the relationship, it will take a lot of extra effort on your part because you will need to regain his trust in you. There's no guarantee he will take you back, so don't be surprised or angry toward him if he doesn't. Imagine how you would feel if the tables were turned. You may not be so quick to forgive either.

First Questions You Should Ask

The first thing you want to do is assess the relationship. Why did you cheat? Was it just something that happened in the heat of moment? Or are you bored with relationship? Do you want to stay with your partner and continue the relationship? You need to spend some time thinking about these things because they could be part of the reason you strayed. If you want the relationship to end, then now's the time to call it quits.


The Next Steps

If you want to save the relationship, the next step is to own up to your mistakes. There's no use in denying it because you've been caught red-handed. Your partner has proof of you cheating on him, so be honest. Admit to the dirty deed and beg for forgiveness. A lot.

You need to prove to your man that he truly means the world to you. Explain that what you did was a huge mistake that will never happen again. Stress the fact that you will do what it takes to make the relationship right again.

Most people who have been cheated on feel bad about themselves because they feel that they can't give the cheater what they want, or that they somehow contributed to the cheating. So you need to make sure your man knows what a good guy he is and that he is not at fault for your actions.

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Follow your guy's cues. Some people need a break to think about the relationship and help rebuild their trust in the other person. If he needs some time apart, give him some space. If he wants to spend even more time with you, it may be because he's afraid to leave you alone.


In either case, grant him his wish. It takes time to forgive someone, and you may want to consider doing what you need to do to make your partner feel better about the situation.

Don't buy him things to show your remorse. Many people who have done their partners wrong resort to buying them things because it's the easy way out. Don't take the easy way out. You need to focus on doing things to make the situation better.

Make him his favorite home-cooked meal or go with him to that sporting event he's been talking about. Doing these types of things show that you are truly thinking about him and are willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work.

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If this wasn't your first time cheating on your man, you may want to seek professional help to determine why you continue to be unfaithful. Perhaps you enjoy the thrill of cheating or maybe you're scared of commitment. In any case, you need to nail down the underlying reason before trying to gain trust in your man. Continuing to cheat will just hurt the relationship and it will never heal.


What Not to Do

Don't tell your partner how to feel. It's only normal for the person cheated on to feel angry or depressed. Don't make him feel like the bad guy for being upset about what happened. He lost his trust in you and is angry about that.

Remember, you're the one that made the decision to cheat. Don't get mad at him for being angry. It's only understandable in this situation. Give it time and he will feel better.

Don't deny what happened or place the blame on your partner. Lying about what happened will only make things worse. Come clean with the details and assure your man that it will never happen again. You also don't want to blame him for what happened. It's important that you show some accountability.

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He did not force you to sleep with another man. If problems in the relationship caused you to cheat, then you still need to take responsibility.

If you want to continue the relationship but your partner doesn't want to, don't resort to violence or revenge. Your cheating has already caused enough problems in the relationship and getting nasty will make him resent you even more. It's his right to discontinue the relationship, considering the circumstances.


Moving On

It can take a long time to forgive someone for cheating. Even if you and your man do stay together after you cheated on him, there is a good chance your relationship won't survive the long haul. If you do get caught cheating on him, you need to start repairing your relationship quickly and prevent any further damage.

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We all make mistakes. It's up to you to prove to him that although you are not perfect, you do love him with all your heart and are willing to do whatever it takes to repair the relationship. It will take a lot of effort on your part, but if you truly want to hang on to your man, it will be worth it.