6 Ways to Ruin Your Children

The pages on this site take a ridiculous amount of time to load. Hmm, wonder why that is...(looking at you fifty random ads).

As for this article, wow. Unhelpful. I've learned that most every facet of human life is a learned behavior, from religion to the way that we walk, talk, and act: what are you and trusty television teaching your kids? Votes: -2

Good, sound article. I really enjoy don't examples and do examples. I'll agree with the article spread over more than one page. Now I know why this is done. It is annoying and aggravating. Perhaps a don't and a do article on several page layouts is in order. Votes: +2

I enjoyed reading this article. Gives some parents ahead's up, if they already did not know. Some comments I could not agree with. I think kids do learn a lot from their parents but that does not make them what they are. Votes: +1

I know it is a form of advertisement, but why would you pay to have this site promote your business or product? Who pays attention to the ads?! They're just plain annoying. Votes: +0

I have a few more to add to your list, based on my own life. However, I doubt you're interested. I see another motive behind this entire article... Votes: -1

Great Article! Thank you! The sad thing is how many people are saying this is a bad article. It's these people who are foolish and don't care about their kids! This is information that most parents should know already but really don't care! Thank you for writing! Some people like to read good things! Votes: +0

Parents do the best you can to keep yourself sane and your children safe. All I have done in the last 39 yrs is raise kids and what you do for one don't work for the other. These rules don't apply to all kids. I told my kids that if they didn't eat what I cooked, they would go to bed hungry. They didn't eat for 2 days at home. Votes: +4

The general rejection of these recommendations is why there are so many dysfunctional people in America. Raising children to grow into civilized, effectual human beings as opposed to self involved narcissists is in the parent's hands. You get back what you teach them by your own conduct and example. If you raise children without effective parenting strategies they cannot get along with others or succeed in later life. Neglecting to instill self control and self reliance in your children does home to roost. Careless parenting lays the foundation for juvenile delinquency and an inability to get or hold a job later in life. You don't want your children to grow up with these difficulties. You will come to own them. Votes: +2

I AM A LOVEING CARING SINGLE FATHER,IT REALY ANOYS ME THAT THESE WEBSITES IMPLY THAT IT IS ONLY MOMS THAT DEAL WITH THIS KIND OF THING.GIVE FATHERS THE RECOGNITION THEY DESERVE,MOTHERS DO NOT DO IT ALONE!HOW ABOUT WE RECOGNIZE THE ROLE A FATHER PLAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Votes: +0

I love how this article addresses things like profanity as somehow linking delinquency and lowpoor moral character. I curse, though not regularly, and try not to do so in front of my child but, every now and then, one slips; however, I will say this, I'd much rather my child pick-up cursing than something that is far more deadly, such as smoking. I can live with him, as an adult, dropping an occasional F-bomb or GD this. But smoking? Yeah, nothing like spending your days driving nails into your coffin. That's a stellar lesson no parent should teach their child. Votes: +0

great article, I have 2 grown children, who turned out good, and I agree, parents are lazy now, if you r going to bring children into this world, you better be willing to take on the job and do it right. Great article, agree with it all. thanks! Votes: +0

Not a bad article. Could include many other slants, almost tempts me to start writing again. Good article. Well written, no grammatical errors, good content. For the word count not bad at all. There are many other places you could go with this. Votes: -1

garbage Votes: +0

I got more info...and more laughs...out of the comments section than I did out of that Unecessarily Long article !! They were definitely 6 "Taken-for- Granted" suggestions unnecessarily dragged out for 6 pages! Votes: -1

this is seriously the dumbest list -- are we so devoid of common sense as a society that basic discipline, limitations/boundaries, and spending time with your child[ren] are all some kind of parenting revelation??? Votes: +1

Taunting and threatening a child with punishments , is deliberately causeing a child to cry and rebel. It makes the child look to be the one who has the behavior problems ,when its really the parents who are sabotaging the child . Votes: +0

Curse words? Seriously? Are we living in a fairy tale? Words are just expelled air. All words are useful in some circumstance. None should be considered unspeakable. Votes: +0

If you needed to read this to know this information, you should not be a parent. Votes: +2

I could add to that list
1) using humiliation as "discipline"...its bullying and can have the same results
2) calling your child "worthless" "useless" or any number of similar names...use them enough times and they will come to belive them Votes: +2

I completely agree with your post! It is so true how parents need to be present, be firm, and be clear and consistent with rules and consequences. That's what my parents did for me and it worked! It provided me with boundaries and showed me responsibility in regards to my actions. Great post! Thanks for sharing! Votes: +1

My ex-wife is a clinical psychologist with untreated sexual abuse issues. She still projects unresolved anger towards her sons even though she should know better. As victims, the sons still misplace their trust in her and choose to live with her. Counseling hasn't helped them as yet. Votes: -1

I agree with the last couple of comments, but this article was written for the Least Common Denominator, as are most public media articles.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen them violated by members of the lower socio-econmic groups, that of course should not be raising children in the first place.

after these the basics are; don't critize your children in public; even in private don't dismiss them for having "unreasonable" desires or belittleing their desires. Case in point; my father was all for my idea of starting a new business venture until I said I'd have to compesate my ex-partner, at that point he called me stupid & foolish!

I hope you get the point. Votes: -1

Being a parent is one thing, but being a parent that spends time with their child is another. Far too often, parents neglect time with their children. We all know having children takes money, and wants and needs get greater with age; however, your kids still need time with you. Parents should be their child’s first role model, not some rich socialite, or some athlete. Children need to see their parent, and talk to them daily. Have you spent some quality time with your child?
Votes: +1

I found that as children grew older, 7 and above, making them own their own behavior worked great. My son at 11 made a scene at a store one time about not getting something, instead of saying we'll talk about it at home, I would bring in an audience and say loudly, what do you think of my 11 year old who didn't get the shoes he wanted, is now calling me a cheap and stupid man. What would you do with such a disrespectful child, any thoughts, how many think I should I slap his face, what would you do with this kid. I'm open to suggestions. The look on his face of pure embarra*sment and the look on the faces of those in attendance was worth the price. If they do it, let them wear it. Votes: -1

I think treating your children equally should be on this list as well. The worse thing a parent can do is favor one child over another. My parents had five of us and they were the best parents that we chould have had. As adults, the five of us have such a healthy and loving relationship towards each other. We loved our parents so much, but they have since pa*sed away. I miss them everyday. Votes: +1

NOW ya tell me. I did every single one of these things and my kids are total losers. Votes: +0

The research shows that fighting in front of your kids is not near as damaging as not making up in front of them. If you begin a fight and then move it to another room, your kids never have the oportunity to see how adults resolve their differences. They feel the tension, but not the resolution. Ideally, don't start a fight in front of your kids, but if you do, and if you're human you will, resolve it in front of them too. Votes: +1

I usually read these types of columns for their "sneer value," since by far the most of them are full of mealy-mouth Pablum. I didn't sneer once throughout this entire article! Best advice I've seen on this subject. My only possible criticism is that the writer could have gone into a little more detail on a few points; however, since it meshes so well with what I have found in my own child-rearing experience, I knew what the writer meant. Thanks for a good article. I wish it had been around 30 years ago when I needed it! Votes: +0

My Parents cursed around me and I turned out fine. I was told those words were for Adults and when I swore, I was punished. It really is that easy. That is the biggest bunch of bologna I've read all week. Votes: +0

As a teacher, mom and grandma, let me add this: do not do things for your child that they are capable of doing for themselves. Give them as much responsibility as they can handle at each age. Hovering and doing too much for them sends the wrong message, even if it succeeds in making you feel needed. You do NOT want your children living at home forever. Votes: +1

Though most of this is trite and common sense, you're TOTALLY wrong about the discipline comment. I am so sick of hearing parents (and non-parents) claim that "kids these days are spoiled and they need to be punished for wrongdoings..." IT has been proven in the form of statistical research over and over and over again that THE BEST way to teach a person better behavior OR to reduce bad behavior is by positively reinforcing good behavior. Consequences in the form of punishment (removing a toy or privilege) DOES NOT WORK! Votes: -2

Really?? Seriously? This article is so basic it irritates me. And what really bothers me the most is how many parents act like these basics never even entered their minds! I go to the grocery store and invariably there is some screaming spoiled child whose mom tolerates whatever they do, or then there is the mom who is constantly bickering with her kids. Or the parent who berates and belittles the kids. I wish people would take parenting cla*ses before they ever embark on this most important journey of bringing precious lives into the world. We CAN change the world!! Votes: +1

This is just a matter of common f*****g sense. If you don't already know this you should never ever have had children. Votes: +1

Who wrote this? This is one of the worst articles on parenting I've ever read. Most of it is common sense, but some of it is just plain, bad advice. Take this gem, for example: "If they act out in school or public, take away a privilege such as television or dessert at dinner."

First, unrelated consequences are rarely (if ever) effective long-term. What does dessert have to do with acting up in school? Second, and more importantly, what parenting expert recommends using food as a consequence or reward? It's a terrible idea. Food is just that...food. It's something you eat when you're hungry. Using food as a punishment has the potential to set up all kinds of eating issues.

If you're looking for real parenting advice, I suggest you check out Barbara Colorso's book on parenting, "Kids Are Worth It." We've raised four awesome, self-disciplined, well-adjusted children using her advice.
Votes: +0

If all the writer of this article can do is give their kid attention one night per week... they need to learn how to be a a better parent. Votes: +0

If you really want to destroy your childs self-esteem - have a loud screaming fight and say - "Every time we fight, it's because of that child" Votes: +0

Number should be "Supporting Obama" Votes: -1

I'm a teacher & believe me I see these "common sense" rules smashed almost every day: parents who take their kids' side & refuse to believe their kid attacked another kid even with half the cla*s seeing it, parents who demand their kid be given good grades when they never do their work & act up in cla*s,parents who do their kids' homework & cla*s projects for them then blame the teachers & threaten to sue the school when they're exposed by the fact that their kids' cla*swork & test scores are in no way up to the quality of their projects.Parents who come up to the school cursing & screaming at school staff when their child is denied a special priviledge or activity for breaking a school rule.Parents who refuse to set limits, boundaries, & standards of behavior for their kids. When I was a kid back in the day, ALL parents seemed to know these rules as basic common sense & we kids did not act like a lot of today's kids. Nobody shot up their school,did flash mobs of destruction in town, brawled in school,threw tantrums in stores,talked back to adults,a*saulted & refused to obey teachers & staff.I could go one. Kids weren't "medicated" all the time. At a local high school, a huge number of kids are on ritalin, as are numerous ones at my school. A lot of this mess is caused by bad parenting & dysfunctional family life. Video games mean fewer kids do unstructured outdoor play with no adults around (like we used to do ) & many don't even know how to play basic games. This week I actually had to teach a group of first & second graders how to play "Farmer in the Dell". Only a handful out of two cla*ses of 35 each had ever played it! Group play is important because it teaches social skills,taking turns,give & take,how to make sensible rules, not having your way all the time, & how to get along with a variety of different kids.Many of today's kids are at a loss about what to do if they find themselves without a video game, iphone, or other gadget. Votes: +0

Agreed this article isn't too enlightening, and annoyingly spread over way too many pages. But another thing bothers me more, and it is so common of these types of articles. There is no differentiation between different stages of development for children. All rules are not appropriate for all ages or stages; THAT is the number one problem of parenting in my opinion. If you are applying the same set of boundaries to a 2 year old and an 8 year old and a 16 year old, boy are you in trouble. Votes: +0

"Kids don't come with an instruction manual" Votes: +0

I'm actually a bit shocked at this article. If you really don't know these things, you should consider professional help, not to be mean, but these ideas seem quite self-evident. Sad to say though, many children are subject to these seemingly obvious parental don't's!
Votes: +0

This list is horrible, and seems to be focused more on stripping children of their individuality than actually improving the child. Of course you should take time for your children, and not give them anything, but showing you do not support them (as happened to me growing up) makes your child feel constantly under siege. Not allowing them the self-determination they need to develop into their own person is the surest way to kill the spark that makes them unique, makes life worth living. Is this really what we desire to subject our children to? Certainly fighting is a traumatizing experience at a young age, and situations should be handled maturely, but how does sheltering them from conflict prepare them for reality? These points seem silly, personally, having experienced most of them from the perspective of a child. Votes: +2

There is a manual for parents and children but, nobody seems to be paying it any attention these days-It is the Holy Bible. The Bible gives instructions on all areas of life for adults and children and is the right way. One day every one will realize this.
Votes: -1

Hello: This is basically a very good article, but it missed some very important points. Parents need to give a child credit for when he or she had done well, but never blame that child when a sibling has committed a misdeed. My dad never praised me whenever I "saved the day" or did something heroic, but when my sisters acted up it was me that got the blame for what they had done. And parents should listen to their kids and never automatically write off what they are saying as fibs or a part of the imagination. I told my dad many, many times over the years that some day he'd be sorry for the way he was treating me, and, sure enough, when his health began failing and dementia set in and he somehow thought I'd be moving back in with him and mom, I reminded him of my prediction and added that that particular day had arrived. He was dead within a year and I haven't missed him once. What goes around comes around. Votes: -1

Man, my parents died before I was 5 and I was raised with an aunt with 4 children of her own. At 12 we went door to and lied to people and said we were collecting for Unicef, we bought 2 bottle of Cold Bear wine. Aunt found out and bought us a case,she did not want us drinking in the street. Did I leave out I was 12 and my cousin was 11. I knew in my soul that was wrong and my cousin well she can chug a 5th in 1/2 day in her dilapidated trailer. Me, I got the PTSD but do well in life. Oh yeah and I do have the touch of morbid obesity going on. Votes: -1

This article is conservative bs. I have seen how parents who follow these principals have children who do not trust or tell their parent anything. I have also seen children whose parents were willing to give in, not be high handed authoritarians. They seem more well adjusted. They have better time with relationships job opportunities and expressing themselves. Make no mistake bad behavior should not be tolerated however, treat your children like real human beings. Votes: +1

#1 Reason for "My daily moment.com" needs a new Column writer. When they strategize on Tacky Headlines such as "6 Ways to Ruin Your Children " really? seriously? Really? My question is- what are this writers' credentials Votes: -1

I especially agree with not always taking your child's side. I experienced this a few years ago when we had cousins staying with us for a holiday. My cousin's daughter (let's call her "Hannah") who was about 9 at the time, eavesdropped on my private phone call. She thought I said something about her when I was actually discussing a coworker I wasn't fond of. Hannah's mom yelled at me a few days later claiming she'd said I "didn't want them in our house" and she "felt unwelcome."
What bothered me is that my cousin never took the time to hear MY side of the story. She immediately believed Hannah, though Hannah had gotten her "information" from a phone call that was none of her business. Things eventually blew over, but unnecessary drama could have been prevented if my cousin hadn't immediately sided with her child. Votes: +1

Wow dedicate one day or a NIGHT a week to your kids, hardly enough. Votes: +0

Number 6 Not Being Present is hard for military parents, and this day in age we have to work. I don't think that you need to be at every game or active they my have. The most important thing is. If you can't make it to those actives, be there when you are home. When they come up to you just to sit on your lap, want you to read them a book. Stop what you are doing and spend time with them, like them cook with you. They have pause and T.V's now and DVR. You can watch your show later. Your friends can wait, you facebook is not going anywhere or the games, and your work can wait when you are home. Be there for them when you can, and by all means don't buy there love. Votes: +0

Spare the rod and spoil the child....sure. My Dad would hit me over any minor infraction...it was like living with a bomb. I was also constantly belittled even as an adult - things like Master's degrees in chemistry from top flight universities were just handed out in his words (it was on my way to a PhD).

I have also seen kids who were being raised by the strict methods some expose being in constant fear. So give me a break....... Votes: +1

When will there be cable channel devoted to parenting? We have all these shows on Animal Planet that help teach us how to raise and train dogs, and all these shows on HGTV and TLC that help teach us how to remodel and redecorate our houses. Don't these TV and cable producers understand how many people would LOVE to see a show dedicated to parenting, caring for children, and healing family discord. Not another garbage show which exploits troubled families and makes us all feel better because we aren't THAT bad, but an intelligent show that helps parents to understand children and teens at different ages and helps us to improve our parenting skills. It seems to me that such a show or even a whole channel dedicated to parenting is sorely needed. I would pay extra for that channel!! Votes: +0

I'm a grandparent & I can tell you that throughout my life I've witnessed plenty of ignorant and uncaring parents. This seems especially true now, more than ever. Sometimes they're not even aware of how they're abusing their children. You don't have to physically hit a child to abuse it. I personally think that this article is needed and well done. Bravo! Votes: +0

Totally disagree with the " withhold dessert" punishment, and can't believe that any article in this day and age would suggest that. Not only have there been SEVERAL studies on the effect withholding food has on children and it's connection with obesity but it should be common sense to not use food as a punishment/reward system. Please stop giving parents bad advice about discipline. Votes: +2

There is a whole lot left out or a*sumed here. Let your children have one thing a month or earn bigger things. When there are six kids and little or no money because neither parent provides support food and basic clothing are a good thing, trying to give them things is impossible. How about telling kids the truth and letting them understand that there are priorities and having things is not a priority. Having a house and clothes and food are. Texting costs money. You get a phone for emergencies. As for teachers and believing them, you better have balance. We found out the teachers were at fault more often than the kids. One kid was suspended because he intervened and broke up a fight. He grabbed the bigger kid and pulled him off the small one before he got hurt too badly. Notice I said too badly. He had a bloody nose and a split lip before it was stopped. My kid held off the big kid while everyone waited for the teacher. They suspended my child because they said he should have just waited for the teacher to arrive. So they wanted him to watch a small child get pummeled while doing nothing until someone showed up to stop it. And the errors in testing where they said over 80% of the students in the school were learning disabled according to one test. Needless to say until we proved that the teachers were improperly trained to administer the test, and took only 3 to 5 minutes to give a test that according to it's designers should take about 40 to 45 minutes per student they were going to get a big boost in Federal money. So I would say listen to both sides and investigate everything so you can prove your child was given a bad grade because she complained about a teacher who was teaching Spanish by having kids watch I Love Lucy and listen to Dezi Arnez. Teach the kids to fight for their education and speak up when anyone tries to deny it from them. Basically I could write a better article because I can give you a fuller picture than this person. Votes: +0

It frightens me that there are parents out there that would benefit from this information... Votes: +0

At least it didn't say not to spank Votes: +1

Most of these are good tips, but withholding dessert as a punishment because they acted up is not advised as it encourages an emotional response to food. Food shouldn't be a reward or a punishment because it can lead to overweight children/adults that seek food for comfort. Votes: +0