6 Ways to Ruin Your Children

i know what it's like to be ignored by a parent. my parents divorced when i was 11 and after that my mother (who worked night shifts) would go to the next door neighbor (her best friend) in the mornings after getting off work and would wait for my brother and i to leave for school, then she would go home. she was rarely up when we got home from school, rarely made dinner for us (we pretty much raised ourselves), and we were expected to not only make sure her work clothes were washed, dried, and ironed, we were expected to prepare HER dinner to take to work with her, and wake her up about 30 minutes before she needed to leave for work. i don't recall my mother ever being a present parent. it always felt that she never making the effort to actually be a mother to us. yeah, she provided us with the basics but she was no mother to us. we often felt unloved, unwanted, and nothing but a burden to her. to this day, i don't ever say "i love you" to her as i don't ever feel it towards her. she may have given birth to me but she was never a mother to me and no matter what people say, i'll never feel that mother/daughter connection to her. it's unfortunate but it is what it is. Votes: +5

Adults shouldn't call names, get into screaming matches, or threaten as a part of their disagreements anyway. It's incredibly beneficial for children to see their parents disagree respectfully and come to a compromise. Votes: +3

There are so many people lambasting this article, and yet, if you look at the problems in our society it's pretty obvious a ton of parents do not have such "common sense". I highly doubt the immature parents who need this list will read it, but there are too many cases of abuse, neglect, drugs, violence and crime to believe every human is born with these skills ingrained within. Just because you don't need, or rather, *think* you don't need simple advice such as this doesn't mean there aren't people who do. A little humility and awareness goes a long way. Votes: +4

Good advice in article...dumbos that don't think so, are arrogant blind to facts...Get a life. That some know more than you do , and you don't know it all smart alecks. Votes: +1

I am a teacher and no you don't have to be an idiot to not know this stuff. Many parents are younger and younger these days and have no role models to learn from. Sadly, I see this everyday. It is not always common sense. I know people personally who are great people, but not so wise at the parenting that could learn from this. Votes: +5

I can see from the way most of you responded that your kids are probably brats....(hint for slow people...they emulate your anger, hostility, and inate stupidity).

Votes: +5

well lets see. 6 ways to ruin a child. provided you dont abort it.. 1- not teaching them the ways of Christ. 2- letting them have there way. 3-allowing them to be disresecptful to there elders and teachers. 4- allowing them to much time in front of a t.v. computer. game system. and texting..5.- not teaching them how to help around the house with chores. 6.-Defending them when they do some thing illegal or just plain stupid. theres many more. but these are my 6 Votes: -5

this is a pretty stupid article but i was whooped with a belt when i was little and my mom still threatens to do it . she's a total b***h and i cant wait til i turn 18 and go to collage cause frankly im sick of her and her attitude acting like its ok to call MY father names while they were getting a divorce. she would come home and b like guess wat ur father said today in court. like the hell's wrong with u. do u know how to b a parent. jus setting examples like tht . well all i have in my mind now is 4 more years jus 4 til i go to collage and i will NEVER EVER become like my mother or treat my future kids (if God's willing) like this Votes: -1

People need to be told these things. I observed a mom in a waiting room who constantly badgered her oldest son the whole time. The poor kid couldn't do anything right even when he was sitting quietly reading a book. I told the doctor about her. He said he knew she was like that.

Poor kid. Votes: +5

My parents fought infront of me and it was probably one of the best life lessons they gave me. There were just a few rules: fight fair, zero name calling, keep it on point, no loud yelling/cussing/or throwing things, and make sure all of us kids see them come to a resolution. I learned how to come to a resolution without abusing the other party or rolling over and caving in. The mediation skills I was taught are invaluable. Votes: +1

I totally agree with your article. In fact, I am shocked at the comments. As an educator of both k-12 and higher education, I recognize these parents. Unfortunately, it shows up every day in the cla*sroom. It seems like parents may know these things, but if you think for one minute you have "arrived", you are sadly misled. Just like a marriage, parenting is hard work and there is no one size fits all. However, these tips are a great start. Votes: +3

just spoiled m day....i have four kids unning around the house ,so i want o read this article on how not to ruin the kids,and waste alot of time reading it spread over all these pages time wasted, dumb article now its lunchtime and the kids want to kill me because the lunch isnt ready!one page only next time please. Votes: -5

All you people who think this article is stupid, you're WRONG. My parents were well meaning, educated, and certainly not "stupid or retarded". They did 4 out of 6 of these to me things and my life has been a serious struggle because of it.

Don't be sure the people you least expect could be guilty of doing these things. It's not easy. And the children DO pay. Votes: +5

Total crap, useless article. They should be too ashamed to print such crap. Votes: -5

this article is so true. the comments are pricless. i have grandchildren, i see my kids raising theirs it is the tail wagging the dog. the parents are jumping thru hoops. who is teaching morals and ethics??? no one. your house should have control, love and stablity. i see kids trying to raise kids, they do not have a clue.... what end result do you hope to have?? quit blaming your parents for everything. for every action there is a reaction, be ready for it. be responsible. Votes: +1

Sure this is all common sense and not helpful to me or probably most people reading this. This article is for the folks who would never read an article on parenting. I bet most of the folks panning this could name several people they know who ought to read this. Heck, I can name them all within my family. Even the don't steal in front of your kids - I know lots of folks who have no problems showing their kids pirated movies, or downloading pirated games. Somehow it never occurs to them that they are encouraging their kids to break the law. . . . Votes: +5

Honestly? Dragging out a few lines over several pages is ridiculous, but, not as much as the information pertaining to the article. These are common knowledge facts and unoriginal drivel.
Here's an idea! Write one about 6 ways parents UNKNOWINGLY ruin their children. As in, things people may not know. Not the captain obvious fact guide. Votes: +1

the article is a wonderful guide that needs to be taken seriously. Many children are the product of the parents who think articles like these are a waste of time and spoil or ruin a child with their own attitude towards discipline and guidelines. Votes: +4

"Fight in Front of the Kids"

Correct fighting; not name calling or belittling. But if kids never see arguing, how are they going to learn? Votes: -1

I see now why a certain group of kids in the US are now destroying people's lives and hurting and killing others. These mobs of kids don't have any of these parenting skills done on them. Most don't have fathers and for sure ALL don't have a mother who gives them any attention. A good parent has proof of their parenting skills by how their children are now acting in society. Votes: +2

The pages on this site take a ridiculous amount of time to load. Hmm, wonder why that is...(looking at you fifty random ads).

As for this article, wow. Unhelpful. I've learned that most every facet of human life is a learned behavior, from religion to the way that we walk, talk, and act: what are you and trusty television teaching your kids? Votes: -2

Good, sound article. I really enjoy don't examples and do examples. I'll agree with the article spread over more than one page. Now I know why this is done. It is annoying and aggravating. Perhaps a don't and a do article on several page layouts is in order. Votes: +2

I enjoyed reading this article. Gives some parents ahead's up, if they already did not know. Some comments I could not agree with. I think kids do learn a lot from their parents but that does not make them what they are. Votes: +1

I know it is a form of advertisement, but why would you pay to have this site promote your business or product? Who pays attention to the ads?! They're just plain annoying. Votes: +0

I have a few more to add to your list, based on my own life. However, I doubt you're interested. I see another motive behind this entire article... Votes: -1

Great Article! Thank you! The sad thing is how many people are saying this is a bad article. It's these people who are foolish and don't care about their kids! This is information that most parents should know already but really don't care! Thank you for writing! Some people like to read good things! Votes: +0

Parents do the best you can to keep yourself sane and your children safe. All I have done in the last 39 yrs is raise kids and what you do for one don't work for the other. These rules don't apply to all kids. I told my kids that if they didn't eat what I cooked, they would go to bed hungry. They didn't eat for 2 days at home. Votes: +4

The general rejection of these recommendations is why there are so many dysfunctional people in America. Raising children to grow into civilized, effectual human beings as opposed to self involved narcissists is in the parent's hands. You get back what you teach them by your own conduct and example. If you raise children without effective parenting strategies they cannot get along with others or succeed in later life. Neglecting to instill self control and self reliance in your children does home to roost. Careless parenting lays the foundation for juvenile delinquency and an inability to get or hold a job later in life. You don't want your children to grow up with these difficulties. You will come to own them. Votes: +2

I AM A LOVEING CARING SINGLE FATHER,IT REALY ANOYS ME THAT THESE WEBSITES IMPLY THAT IT IS ONLY MOMS THAT DEAL WITH THIS KIND OF THING.GIVE FATHERS THE RECOGNITION THEY DESERVE,MOTHERS DO NOT DO IT ALONE!HOW ABOUT WE RECOGNIZE THE ROLE A FATHER PLAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Votes: +0

I love how this article addresses things like profanity as somehow linking delinquency and lowpoor moral character. I curse, though not regularly, and try not to do so in front of my child but, every now and then, one slips; however, I will say this, I'd much rather my child pick-up cursing than something that is far more deadly, such as smoking. I can live with him, as an adult, dropping an occasional F-bomb or GD this. But smoking? Yeah, nothing like spending your days driving nails into your coffin. That's a stellar lesson no parent should teach their child. Votes: +0

great article, I have 2 grown children, who turned out good, and I agree, parents are lazy now, if you r going to bring children into this world, you better be willing to take on the job and do it right. Great article, agree with it all. thanks! Votes: +0

Not a bad article. Could include many other slants, almost tempts me to start writing again. Good article. Well written, no grammatical errors, good content. For the word count not bad at all. There are many other places you could go with this. Votes: -1

garbage Votes: +0

I got more info...and more laughs...out of the comments section than I did out of that Unecessarily Long article !! They were definitely 6 "Taken-for- Granted" suggestions unnecessarily dragged out for 6 pages! Votes: -1

this is seriously the dumbest list -- are we so devoid of common sense as a society that basic discipline, limitations/boundaries, and spending time with your child[ren] are all some kind of parenting revelation??? Votes: +1

Taunting and threatening a child with punishments , is deliberately causeing a child to cry and rebel. It makes the child look to be the one who has the behavior problems ,when its really the parents who are sabotaging the child . Votes: +0

Curse words? Seriously? Are we living in a fairy tale? Words are just expelled air. All words are useful in some circumstance. None should be considered unspeakable. Votes: +0

If you needed to read this to know this information, you should not be a parent. Votes: +2

I could add to that list
1) using humiliation as "discipline"...its bullying and can have the same results
2) calling your child "worthless" "useless" or any number of similar names...use them enough times and they will come to belive them Votes: +2

I completely agree with your post! It is so true how parents need to be present, be firm, and be clear and consistent with rules and consequences. That's what my parents did for me and it worked! It provided me with boundaries and showed me responsibility in regards to my actions. Great post! Thanks for sharing! Votes: +1

My ex-wife is a clinical psychologist with untreated sexual abuse issues. She still projects unresolved anger towards her sons even though she should know better. As victims, the sons still misplace their trust in her and choose to live with her. Counseling hasn't helped them as yet. Votes: -1

I agree with the last couple of comments, but this article was written for the Least Common Denominator, as are most public media articles.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen them violated by members of the lower socio-econmic groups, that of course should not be raising children in the first place.

after these the basics are; don't critize your children in public; even in private don't dismiss them for having "unreasonable" desires or belittleing their desires. Case in point; my father was all for my idea of starting a new business venture until I said I'd have to compesate my ex-partner, at that point he called me stupid & foolish!

I hope you get the point. Votes: -1

Being a parent is one thing, but being a parent that spends time with their child is another. Far too often, parents neglect time with their children. We all know having children takes money, and wants and needs get greater with age; however, your kids still need time with you. Parents should be their child’s first role model, not some rich socialite, or some athlete. Children need to see their parent, and talk to them daily. Have you spent some quality time with your child?
Votes: +1

I found that as children grew older, 7 and above, making them own their own behavior worked great. My son at 11 made a scene at a store one time about not getting something, instead of saying we'll talk about it at home, I would bring in an audience and say loudly, what do you think of my 11 year old who didn't get the shoes he wanted, is now calling me a cheap and stupid man. What would you do with such a disrespectful child, any thoughts, how many think I should I slap his face, what would you do with this kid. I'm open to suggestions. The look on his face of pure embarra*sment and the look on the faces of those in attendance was worth the price. If they do it, let them wear it. Votes: -1

I think treating your children equally should be on this list as well. The worse thing a parent can do is favor one child over another. My parents had five of us and they were the best parents that we chould have had. As adults, the five of us have such a healthy and loving relationship towards each other. We loved our parents so much, but they have since pa*sed away. I miss them everyday. Votes: +1

NOW ya tell me. I did every single one of these things and my kids are total losers. Votes: +0

The research shows that fighting in front of your kids is not near as damaging as not making up in front of them. If you begin a fight and then move it to another room, your kids never have the oportunity to see how adults resolve their differences. They feel the tension, but not the resolution. Ideally, don't start a fight in front of your kids, but if you do, and if you're human you will, resolve it in front of them too. Votes: +1

I usually read these types of columns for their "sneer value," since by far the most of them are full of mealy-mouth Pablum. I didn't sneer once throughout this entire article! Best advice I've seen on this subject. My only possible criticism is that the writer could have gone into a little more detail on a few points; however, since it meshes so well with what I have found in my own child-rearing experience, I knew what the writer meant. Thanks for a good article. I wish it had been around 30 years ago when I needed it! Votes: +0

My Parents cursed around me and I turned out fine. I was told those words were for Adults and when I swore, I was punished. It really is that easy. That is the biggest bunch of bologna I've read all week. Votes: +0

As a teacher, mom and grandma, let me add this: do not do things for your child that they are capable of doing for themselves. Give them as much responsibility as they can handle at each age. Hovering and doing too much for them sends the wrong message, even if it succeeds in making you feel needed. You do NOT want your children living at home forever. Votes: +1