6 Ways to Ruin Your Children

Even though good and smart parents know all this information when rasing children, the fact is, it's always good to read about little reminders like these to help you avoid mistakes that could hurt your kids feelings or ruin their attitudes..noone is perfect...even good parents lose it sometime..whatever little information is out there, it helps in many anyways. Votes: +10

Oh my gosh. Tell me the author is NOT getting paid for this complete load of "no kidding, moron" news! You forgot a couple tips:
Never let your kids play with matches--fire is bad for them.
Don't forget to feed your children--they need food to survive.
It is best to bathe your child on a daily basis despite the urge to try and conserve water.
Thank you and now I can sleep tonight know that I shared this vital knowledge with the ma*ses.
Votes: -5

Good common sense article, and unfortunate reminder that not all parents "just know" these simple truths. One thing I would add - on the last point, children are more often ignored or neglected by parents who are at home with them. If it is necessary to schedule time each day when you focus only on your child to control it, then do it. Turn off the TV, the computer, the phone, and the vacuum. Sit down with them and play a game, talk, or create crafts or pictures. Being in the same house/room is not the same as being with them, and your influence and attention is needed as much as air to them. It's not enough to turn down an invitation to be home once in a while. When you're home, be with them. Votes: +13

you guys need to lighten up on the writer. sure these things might be common sense to you guys but my father was a long distance truck driver and then my parents divorced when i was 7 so i didn't have him in my life much at all. my mother was starting her life over and dating which led to her not being around much at night and on top of that i had a brother 5 yrs older than me who kicked the s**t out of my "daily". at 24 yrs old i became a father and again at 29. i'm 35 now and have my own company that does very well. i'm a lot further ahead than most high school drop outs (10th grade i just stopped going). having 2 sons is fantastic and amazing but i can tell you the points the writer makes are things i've learned over the past 10yrs. they didn't come natural to me seeing as every single one of the "don'ts" were an everyday thing in my house growing up. sure some and maybe even the majority the people reading this might see these things as common sense but like i said i didn't. lighten up on the writer. you don't like the article don't read it! Votes: +22

My aunt and uncle have done most of these things with their kids. Give in to every whim, they never want the little darlings to be unhappy. They ignore their kids misbehavior( and expect everyone else to as well). Their big attempt at discipline? After one dinner of tantrums and thrown food, the children were informed they would not be getting ice cream. After dinner, my Aunt said, now remember you misbehaved so you can't have ice cream. Then she proceeded to hand them each ice pops instead.
Recently at a family birthday party a child with developmental disabilities was crying.While several of us tried to comfort that child, My aunt and uncle's daughter made snide rude comments to the child " oh here we go again", " go in the house by yourself if you are going to cry" rolled her eyes, and sighed loudly, prompting the disabled child to sob harder and say that child hated her. My Aunt sat there and said nothing about her child's rudeness.
When the party broke up, I pulled her daughter aside and said, I know it's hard to have a relative who cries easily, but think about how hard it is to be someone who gets upset so easily. Try to be compa*sionate, be nice to X. The child in response screamed in my face " I am compa*sionate!" and stormed out of the house.
Within two minutes her mother stormed in, demanding to speak with me, screaming in my face how dare I upset her daughter, and her daughter didn't take what I said " in a supportive way". Furthermore she insisted her daughter did nothing to upset the developmentally disabled child, that the child was just reacting to " too much stimuli".
The rude daughter? She is fifteen years old!
Unbelievable. and so pathetic and sad.
Votes: +13

What a dumb article. I agree with the majority of these commenters: this article only addresses "lack of common sense" errors, not real wrongheaded ideas that hurt more than help...I don't even have kids, yet I can name you many more ways to "ruin" a child...probably because I was subjected to them myself growing up. There isn't enough room for all the examples lol. A few: treating the child as thing to be programmed. No, your child is not your "mini-me", your child is not your own real-life paper doll to dress up the way you wish them to, they're not your parrot, they're not an extension of yourself either. They're indvidual people who are meant to grow into their individuality. If you don't take my word for it now, then just wait until they hit they're teens and you'll be DAMN sure they'll let you know...probably with an "I hate you" at the end.

-Having kids with the selfish and/or unrealistic expectations. I was raised by a mostly christian family, strict, conservative, I.E. archaic & blockheaded. As a female, I was expected to be a pink-loving, frill-hemmed, babydoll-doting, bible-loving reproductive-automaton-in-training. So, imagine the fallout of realizing I was a black-loving, mud-stained, bug-catching, religion-challenging CHILDFREE individual (yes I knew even back then I never wanted my own kids). Some of my worst childhood memories came from those times. So much of my childhood that I couldn't get back was wasted being made feeling inadequate, defective and at fault for not conforming to ways that were not, are not, and never will be, my nature. I asked myself why I couldn't be loved for who I was? Keep this in mind when you pin fantastic projections of the future (such as "now I have a son who will follow in my footsteps" or "I'm so happy I have a daughter whom we can share lots of "girl time" with" or "I look forward to being a grandparent one day" or "now we have an heir to our family business!" or the worst & most common, treating the child as some sort of elderly insurance "now I have someone to take care of me when I'm too old to take care of myself") on the shoulders of a baby too weak to hold up their own head. If the child turns out different than you expect, it's your duty to express the unconditional love that is due the child...it's WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR AS A PARENT. Sadly most parents fail in this dept. than people report, and I'm living proof. Votes: -2

If you take a fight into another room it is extremely important that you resolve the problem and act out a calm, peaceful resolution in front of the children. If they don't see you solve the problem then they wont learn how to do it themselves. They'll end up arguing endlessly, hoping that the issue will magically work itself out. Votes: +6

I'll tell you why they are making these 6 comments. It's because if you look around you see these same mistakes being made over and over again by ignorant parents. You see it in grocery stores and within your own families. You advise your children who have kids of their own and they either get angry or ignore this good advice. I'm amazed myself that the average parent doesn't know these things or are too lazy to enfore them but it's a reality. Votes: +10

I agree with these. I don't feel these 6 things are everything but it's a good majority. For example, a child experiencing abuse themselves or witnessing a parent being abused, can cause as much harm and probably more than just the yelling and screaming. However, I do know from experience that #4 is extremely accurate. It is something I keep in the back of my mind when my husband and I get into an argument. Yes, children should see parents disagreeing with each other and then resolving the conflict, but in a healthy way - not a screaming, swearing, name-calling battle. That is very damaging to a child. I always do my best to take it out of sight and hearing range if we are not handling our disagreements in a healthy way. Even though our daughter is not even 2 yet, she is already very aware of things going on around her and reacts in response.

As for #3, my mother is a 7th grade teacher and it is amazing what MANY parents will defend their children for. For example, when a kid cheats on a test and then gets caught, and instead of her giving the student a zero she gives them a 50% because it's a first offense. Then the parent comes into the school raging and demanding a meeting with the teacher, principal, and superintendent because "their child didn't know what they were doing" or "didn't do anything wrong", even though they already admitted to cheating.
Votes: +10

There's an article here somewhere? All I see are ads all over the place! Votes: +2

this article makes perfect sense if most people had common sense we would not have so many out of control children...this is why we are creating the most entitled, disrespectful, unempathetic whimps or bullies depending on which one of these we teach them to be by example. Parents are making there children dummed down and unable to deal with the results of there bad behavior by trying to fight there battle for them, or even lie for them when they know they are wrong. They are more concerned with being there kids bestie then raising a responsible adult. They have to learn cause and effect of there actions on there own.... Votes: +3

And not by drugging them because we refuse to teach them proper behaviour, and call it ADD or ADHD. I am sure some of them do have these problems but for the most part it is lack of parenting and dicipline.
Votes: +3

I hate "Top [insert numer]" lists that claim to be comprehensive authorities on a topic, and I hate articles that are filled with ads and require clicking through several pages to read a couple of paragraphs at a time. I would like to add that the opposite of their #3, never believing your child over others, is also terrible. Sometimes teachers and adults are meanies and are wrong. It is important to listen to both sides and use reasonable judgement when there is an issue. Votes: +3

A waste of 5 minutes I will never get back. Really? Anyone that doesn't already know this shouldn't ever have kids. But what I do know...is this is my first and last time to this site....not because of the lame article, but because clicking through 6 pages to read one lame article is beyond annoying - its nerve killing. No thanks! Votes: +3

That's really a good post to know a handy tips about your children and I am sure every mother will like it. Accounting and Finance Jobs Votes: -2

Here's another - DO NOT take responsibility for your children's homework, science project or whatever. It's their job not yours. A little help occasionally with a tough a*signment, no problem. It's not just that other people's children wind up competing with you and not your children. It's that your kids have no incentive to learn anything - and they won't. Kids aren't in school to get A's they are there to learn. A friend made this mistake. Her children are in their 30's and are still not responsible. Loving your children and "helping them" are very different things.
Votes: +3

And I can add that every child has a FREE WILL! Even when you do carry out these common sense strategies, there are some kids who will do the opposite of what you think is good. NEVER judge a parent by the actions of their children!! I know from first-hand experience. Votes: +0

These are pretty obvious Votes: +1

Just because teachers, police, and older adults aren't all bullies doesn't mean none are. In fact I'd wager there's a fair number of them that are. Votes: +0

i know what it's like to be ignored by a parent. my parents divorced when i was 11 and after that my mother (who worked night shifts) would go to the next door neighbor (her best friend) in the mornings after getting off work and would wait for my brother and i to leave for school, then she would go home. she was rarely up when we got home from school, rarely made dinner for us (we pretty much raised ourselves), and we were expected to not only make sure her work clothes were washed, dried, and ironed, we were expected to prepare HER dinner to take to work with her, and wake her up about 30 minutes before she needed to leave for work. i don't recall my mother ever being a present parent. it always felt that she never making the effort to actually be a mother to us. yeah, she provided us with the basics but she was no mother to us. we often felt unloved, unwanted, and nothing but a burden to her. to this day, i don't ever say "i love you" to her as i don't ever feel it towards her. she may have given birth to me but she was never a mother to me and no matter what people say, i'll never feel that mother/daughter connection to her. it's unfortunate but it is what it is. Votes: +5

Adults shouldn't call names, get into screaming matches, or threaten as a part of their disagreements anyway. It's incredibly beneficial for children to see their parents disagree respectfully and come to a compromise. Votes: +3

There are so many people lambasting this article, and yet, if you look at the problems in our society it's pretty obvious a ton of parents do not have such "common sense". I highly doubt the immature parents who need this list will read it, but there are too many cases of abuse, neglect, drugs, violence and crime to believe every human is born with these skills ingrained within. Just because you don't need, or rather, *think* you don't need simple advice such as this doesn't mean there aren't people who do. A little humility and awareness goes a long way. Votes: +4

Good advice in article...dumbos that don't think so, are arrogant blind to facts...Get a life. That some know more than you do , and you don't know it all smart alecks. Votes: +1

I am a teacher and no you don't have to be an idiot to not know this stuff. Many parents are younger and younger these days and have no role models to learn from. Sadly, I see this everyday. It is not always common sense. I know people personally who are great people, but not so wise at the parenting that could learn from this. Votes: +5

I can see from the way most of you responded that your kids are probably brats....(hint for slow people...they emulate your anger, hostility, and inate stupidity).

Votes: +5

well lets see. 6 ways to ruin a child. provided you dont abort it.. 1- not teaching them the ways of Christ. 2- letting them have there way. 3-allowing them to be disresecptful to there elders and teachers. 4- allowing them to much time in front of a t.v. computer. game system. and texting..5.- not teaching them how to help around the house with chores. 6.-Defending them when they do some thing illegal or just plain stupid. theres many more. but these are my 6 Votes: -5

this is a pretty stupid article but i was whooped with a belt when i was little and my mom still threatens to do it . she's a total b***h and i cant wait til i turn 18 and go to collage cause frankly im sick of her and her attitude acting like its ok to call MY father names while they were getting a divorce. she would come home and b like guess wat ur father said today in court. like the hell's wrong with u. do u know how to b a parent. jus setting examples like tht . well all i have in my mind now is 4 more years jus 4 til i go to collage and i will NEVER EVER become like my mother or treat my future kids (if God's willing) like this Votes: -1

People need to be told these things. I observed a mom in a waiting room who constantly badgered her oldest son the whole time. The poor kid couldn't do anything right even when he was sitting quietly reading a book. I told the doctor about her. He said he knew she was like that.

Poor kid. Votes: +5

My parents fought infront of me and it was probably one of the best life lessons they gave me. There were just a few rules: fight fair, zero name calling, keep it on point, no loud yelling/cussing/or throwing things, and make sure all of us kids see them come to a resolution. I learned how to come to a resolution without abusing the other party or rolling over and caving in. The mediation skills I was taught are invaluable. Votes: +1