6 Ways to Ruin Your Children

Here is how you 'ruin your children"--by not teaching G-D's Holy Law when they are young.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it. Votes: +9

The usual stuff we already know. How about child abuse? Emotional, physical, or both, it seems to me a lot more likely to ruin a child than any of these common failings that we all exhibit sometimes. Just treacle. Work a little harder, guys -- this was a waste of my time. Votes: +5

This article is on target. As a teacher, I see many children who have suffered as a result of each of the six things listed
in this article. Unfortunately, not every parent understands what good parenting is. Children become angry, depressed, despondent and tend to act out in negative ways. Votes: +20

I am amazed at the number of negative posts. Just for argument sake, a*sume I also have lived these "6 parenting habits" among others.... and my son is on track to be a FINE man! I Know parents who think my "style" is too Christian based for them, not "modern" enough..THIS article states plainly the simple truths that ARE NOT prevalent in our society. I appreciate not only the validation, but the secular source of this info that may help when I send it on to them. Votes: +17

Duhh???? This is why kids are so f ed up. Parents today are so lacking in common sense that a stupid, master of the obvious article like this needs to be written. So awful. Votes: +5

While I agree, the post seemed redundant - I get the "we should all know this, what a waste of time" comments. But you know what's scary? We SHOULD all know this. And a lot of parents DON'T. Those of you who really think this is stupid and everyone knows this must not spend a lot of time around other people's kids, or manage to ignore a lot of behaviors. I work in an elementary school, and kids tell me the most amazing stories about their home lives that just prove to me how many parents need a list like this. The sad thing is, these are the parents who won't read it anyway, because they aren't interested in parenting advice. Votes: +24

As for the article, Wow, waste of time. Incessant need for social acceptance with every page constantly asking "rate me"...here's your rating, half a moon because stars shine; moons only reflect the greatness of a star. Anyone can rehash the obvious, how about something original?
Read Vygotsky and Piget. Or here's a novel idea, pay attention to your kids, punish them accordingly, make it your business and not everyone on Facebook what you do in your home, limit their wants, supply their needs, reward when timely, praise them for extraordinary things and stop handing out trophy’s for every little thing and for God's sake don't be afraid to scold them in public if necessary, sometimes a bit of old fashioned embarra*sment goes along way!
Votes: +6

I also didn't read past the first stupid click. Your site is ugly enough without forcing us to load a new page to read the next 5 sentences. I just deleted this page from my bookmarks. Good bye. Votes: -1

While most parents think these are no brainers I have seen way to many parents do all of these. Some think their child can do no wrong and never correct the child, or blame the behavior on someone else. Way to many kids have parents that try and buy their love thinking if they dont buy the kid everything they want the kid wont love them anymore. On the other hand I have seen parents that never listen to the childs side and always side with the other party. We always listen to both sides and decide for our selfs if our child is guilty. Example our then 12 year old son was on his school bus when a kid behind him put his arm around my sons neck my son threw his head back into the kids face to get the kid to release him. Now the school called us in and only told us our son had hit the other child in the face breaking his nose, had we not listened to our child and looked at his neck (a hour later and there was still marks on his neck) we would have punished our child for defending him self. The school wanted to expel our son and do nothing to the other child. We fought the school, and school board and finally one the battle the other child was expelled. Votes: +13

The two I don't necessarily agree with are #3 & 4. As a parent your job is to obtain all the facts in a situation before placing blame. Just because a teacher or other authority figure states something doesn't mean that they're completely correct. It's best to obtain all the information regarding any incident involving your child and then decide for yourself if your child is guilty or not. I've seen or heard about too many cases of children being accused of things just because an authority figure had a bad day or just needed someone to blame for an incident.
Also, arguing in front of your kids can show them how to successfully conduct conflict resolution. As long as there is no name calling or other abuse involved. Votes: +4

Even though good and smart parents know all this information when rasing children, the fact is, it's always good to read about little reminders like these to help you avoid mistakes that could hurt your kids feelings or ruin their attitudes..noone is perfect...even good parents lose it sometime..whatever little information is out there, it helps in many anyways. Votes: +10

Oh my gosh. Tell me the author is NOT getting paid for this complete load of "no kidding, moron" news! You forgot a couple tips:
Never let your kids play with matches--fire is bad for them.
Don't forget to feed your children--they need food to survive.
It is best to bathe your child on a daily basis despite the urge to try and conserve water.
Thank you and now I can sleep tonight know that I shared this vital knowledge with the ma*ses.
Votes: -4

Good common sense article, and unfortunate reminder that not all parents "just know" these simple truths. One thing I would add - on the last point, children are more often ignored or neglected by parents who are at home with them. If it is necessary to schedule time each day when you focus only on your child to control it, then do it. Turn off the TV, the computer, the phone, and the vacuum. Sit down with them and play a game, talk, or create crafts or pictures. Being in the same house/room is not the same as being with them, and your influence and attention is needed as much as air to them. It's not enough to turn down an invitation to be home once in a while. When you're home, be with them. Votes: +13

you guys need to lighten up on the writer. sure these things might be common sense to you guys but my father was a long distance truck driver and then my parents divorced when i was 7 so i didn't have him in my life much at all. my mother was starting her life over and dating which led to her not being around much at night and on top of that i had a brother 5 yrs older than me who kicked the s**t out of my "daily". at 24 yrs old i became a father and again at 29. i'm 35 now and have my own company that does very well. i'm a lot further ahead than most high school drop outs (10th grade i just stopped going). having 2 sons is fantastic and amazing but i can tell you the points the writer makes are things i've learned over the past 10yrs. they didn't come natural to me seeing as every single one of the "don'ts" were an everyday thing in my house growing up. sure some and maybe even the majority the people reading this might see these things as common sense but like i said i didn't. lighten up on the writer. you don't like the article don't read it! Votes: +22

My aunt and uncle have done most of these things with their kids. Give in to every whim, they never want the little darlings to be unhappy. They ignore their kids misbehavior( and expect everyone else to as well). Their big attempt at discipline? After one dinner of tantrums and thrown food, the children were informed they would not be getting ice cream. After dinner, my Aunt said, now remember you misbehaved so you can't have ice cream. Then she proceeded to hand them each ice pops instead.
Recently at a family birthday party a child with developmental disabilities was crying.While several of us tried to comfort that child, My aunt and uncle's daughter made snide rude comments to the child " oh here we go again", " go in the house by yourself if you are going to cry" rolled her eyes, and sighed loudly, prompting the disabled child to sob harder and say that child hated her. My Aunt sat there and said nothing about her child's rudeness.
When the party broke up, I pulled her daughter aside and said, I know it's hard to have a relative who cries easily, but think about how hard it is to be someone who gets upset so easily. Try to be compa*sionate, be nice to X. The child in response screamed in my face " I am compa*sionate!" and stormed out of the house.
Within two minutes her mother stormed in, demanding to speak with me, screaming in my face how dare I upset her daughter, and her daughter didn't take what I said " in a supportive way". Furthermore she insisted her daughter did nothing to upset the developmentally disabled child, that the child was just reacting to " too much stimuli".
The rude daughter? She is fifteen years old!
Unbelievable. and so pathetic and sad.
Votes: +13

What a dumb article. I agree with the majority of these commenters: this article only addresses "lack of common sense" errors, not real wrongheaded ideas that hurt more than help...I don't even have kids, yet I can name you many more ways to "ruin" a child...probably because I was subjected to them myself growing up. There isn't enough room for all the examples lol. A few: treating the child as thing to be programmed. No, your child is not your "mini-me", your child is not your own real-life paper doll to dress up the way you wish them to, they're not your parrot, they're not an extension of yourself either. They're indvidual people who are meant to grow into their individuality. If you don't take my word for it now, then just wait until they hit they're teens and you'll be DAMN sure they'll let you know...probably with an "I hate you" at the end.

-Having kids with the selfish and/or unrealistic expectations. I was raised by a mostly christian family, strict, conservative, I.E. archaic & blockheaded. As a female, I was expected to be a pink-loving, frill-hemmed, babydoll-doting, bible-loving reproductive-automaton-in-training. So, imagine the fallout of realizing I was a black-loving, mud-stained, bug-catching, religion-challenging CHILDFREE individual (yes I knew even back then I never wanted my own kids). Some of my worst childhood memories came from those times. So much of my childhood that I couldn't get back was wasted being made feeling inadequate, defective and at fault for not conforming to ways that were not, are not, and never will be, my nature. I asked myself why I couldn't be loved for who I was? Keep this in mind when you pin fantastic projections of the future (such as "now I have a son who will follow in my footsteps" or "I'm so happy I have a daughter whom we can share lots of "girl time" with" or "I look forward to being a grandparent one day" or "now we have an heir to our family business!" or the worst & most common, treating the child as some sort of elderly insurance "now I have someone to take care of me when I'm too old to take care of myself") on the shoulders of a baby too weak to hold up their own head. If the child turns out different than you expect, it's your duty to express the unconditional love that is due the child...it's WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR AS A PARENT. Sadly most parents fail in this dept. than people report, and I'm living proof. Votes: -1

If you take a fight into another room it is extremely important that you resolve the problem and act out a calm, peaceful resolution in front of the children. If they don't see you solve the problem then they wont learn how to do it themselves. They'll end up arguing endlessly, hoping that the issue will magically work itself out. Votes: +6

I'll tell you why they are making these 6 comments. It's because if you look around you see these same mistakes being made over and over again by ignorant parents. You see it in grocery stores and within your own families. You advise your children who have kids of their own and they either get angry or ignore this good advice. I'm amazed myself that the average parent doesn't know these things or are too lazy to enfore them but it's a reality. Votes: +10

I agree with these. I don't feel these 6 things are everything but it's a good majority. For example, a child experiencing abuse themselves or witnessing a parent being abused, can cause as much harm and probably more than just the yelling and screaming. However, I do know from experience that #4 is extremely accurate. It is something I keep in the back of my mind when my husband and I get into an argument. Yes, children should see parents disagreeing with each other and then resolving the conflict, but in a healthy way - not a screaming, swearing, name-calling battle. That is very damaging to a child. I always do my best to take it out of sight and hearing range if we are not handling our disagreements in a healthy way. Even though our daughter is not even 2 yet, she is already very aware of things going on around her and reacts in response.

As for #3, my mother is a 7th grade teacher and it is amazing what MANY parents will defend their children for. For example, when a kid cheats on a test and then gets caught, and instead of her giving the student a zero she gives them a 50% because it's a first offense. Then the parent comes into the school raging and demanding a meeting with the teacher, principal, and superintendent because "their child didn't know what they were doing" or "didn't do anything wrong", even though they already admitted to cheating.
Votes: +10