3 Things You Should Never Do for Your Kids

perhaps the writer of this article could use some grammar tips from kids. The first sentence threw me a bit, but when i arrived at "does do", i gave up. Votes: +1

To those who keep saying "don't do their child's homework for them", try re-reading the article......this is #1!!!!! Votes: +1

Wow... did we really did 7 pages just to tell us those 3 simple things? Next time suspend the insipid prattle and get straight to the point. Votes: +2

1 Thing You Should Never Do To Your Website Visitors:

* break your one story into seven separate pages. Votes: +2

Wow- 3 little paragraphs of drivel, and I counted no less than 19 separate ads. Now here's a web page high on my list of favorites Votes: +3

The best thing you can do for your child is talk to them like adults. If you expect adult responses, you'll get them. This includes what they say, do, and how they act. It doesn't mean to expect them to be adults, it just means to set the bar at what you want from them.

Secondly, if there is something getting in the way our relationship with our kids such as a toy or game, the solution is simple...we take it away, suspend privilidges or get rid of it altogether.

Third, we teach that it is ok to express your opinion and even say no at times, but it is not ok to belittle, make fun of, or pick on each other. Afterwards, if mommy or daddy still says it needs to get done, that's what needs to happen.

Our kids are currently 6 and 8 years old. They make their bed, get dressed, eat breakfast, take their baths, brush their hair and teeth, read, and study and complete homework primarily on their own.

I think the huge deciding factor on how they turned out was our ability to talk to them starting at 18 onths old. To explain the reasons why we do things the way we do. This enabled them to not only follow the rules, but to comprehend and process information independently.

We still play with them and hug and love on them. We're not super strict parents, but we do make our boundaries and expectations clear with them. Most of all, we expect the same standards from ourselves when we interact with them.
Votes: +1

The list is too short. It should contain "make your kids do chores" even if you are a stay-home mom, or even if you have hired help that does lots of cleaning. It should also include "make your kids pay for some stuff out of their own pocket," regardless of what your income is. If you have a moderate income and can afford to pay for their cell phone, great, but intentionally tell them they have to pay for part of the bill each month. Not because you need their money. But because they've got to learn how to handle recurring monthly expenses. Votes: -1

1. don't tug on superman's cape
2. aim your tinkler into the wind
3. don't hide the cars that Harry Reid has placed around Nevada to insure his reelection...you know the ones with all of the lost ballots in them Votes: +0

One of the most valuable lessons I learned from my parents was the suggestion that I go out of my way to befriend someone who is different: a cla*smate of another ethnic group or color.

This practice gave me an early insight into discrimination, and how children practicing it are often simply mimicking their parents' attitudes, which they can have an opportunity to learn have been unfounded, by socializing with 'the others' at an early age... as I did.

G.G. - LegalMystery.com Votes: +1

Strongly disagree with the third one -- don't choose their friends. Has the author raised a child to adulthood yet? My guess would be no from this suggestion. As a responsible parent, we should be VERY involved in the friends our kids hand out with. I have personal experience from both my brother, who chose unwisely and is still paying the price for the direction his life took from that moment forward, to my own daughter, same saga. Votes: +1

Wow! What a great article. Frome time to time, as parents we need to be reminded of what our children need. Homework, never. I have not done it for them, not even once, but speak for them and choose their friends, I failed :) Votes: +0

Have you ever heard of using non-sexist language? Every single pronoun in your piece is male: "he, his, him." This is considered very bad form these days to consistently refer to the third person as male--this isn't the 19th century. Try using some balanced language, alternating between female and male pronouns, or use "him or her," "hers or his," or try writing an entire piece with "she, hers, and her" just to stretch your and your readers' minds a bit that female persons, children in this case, actually exist in the world. Votes: +1

way too long-winded and repetitive Votes: +1

Your formatting is terrible--you should allow for a single page. And it was a challenge to find the comment box.

I get high marks as a mom on all 3, but gritting my teeth with a friend that I couldn't stand was hard. Finally, he came to me and asked if were okay if he wasn't friends with Shawn anymore. After hearing his reasons, I simply said yes, buy inside I was dancing Gangnam Style!

Today, my son is getting a PhD, a patent, and he hasn't lived at home since he was 17. Votes: +1

One thing you should never do for your readers: Title something like "three things you should never do for you children," and then spend paragraphs getting to them. Votes: +2

NEVER split your children's articles into seven short pages. It'll give them the impression they've generated content when they really haven't. Oh, and never never never make a "top 3" list and then begin the actual list on page four, after a bunch of pointless filler. Votes: +1

7 pages and 5000 advertisements. I found a similar article on the same three "never's" on
the one page. Votes: +0

Three things professionals should never do:

1) Don't give "homework" requiring technology, materials or equipment not in the home
2) Don't expect our children to do your projects beyond our financial means
3) Don't tell us how to parent, we won't tell you how to teach courses Votes: +2

When I see a "show it all on one page" link, I'll click it. Until then, I'm not convinced it's worth reading, considering it's at least seven artificially short pages. Votes: +1

Young adults don't generally live at home because they're lazy, they live at home because they can't find a decent job! My parents taught me andmy siblings to work from the time we were very young, in my case that was at age 7. You wanted something, you worked for it! I went to college for computer science and information systems, have 2 technical certifications as well, yet I'm stuck at home unemployed! To say that my parents didn't teach me to be self reliant or independent is ridiculous. I paid for my first car, my clothes, my food, my first home, which by the way is now gone since theres no where to work anymore. Our parents take us back in because otherwise we would be homeless because there is no work, and when there is we get paid nothing! I went to college and worked to death, sometimes 100 hours a week or more! In fact, I worked an average of 100 hours a week for thelast 6 months to develop a website to hopefully break the cycle of unemployment. But I'm lazy? Again, ridiculous. Yeah, we all go to college so we can end up homeless and living back at home with no job! You're an idiot for writing this ridiculous article. You haven't got a clue! Votes: +2

I would semi-agree with #3. You should never force friendship on your child, but there are times when you need to step in and stop your child hanging out with some. I've only done that once, but I have never regretted it. (The other kid had a pellet gun and was shooting at the neighbor's dog. When I told the parents they didn't see what the problem was. "Pellet guns don't hurt anybody." Don't get me wrong; I'm not against guns at all, but I'm very much a proponent of gun SAFETY, and it was obvious this family didn't have any sense of that.) Votes: -1

Never, "give yer kids anything, but praise when they deserve it. Otherwise. Make them earn everything. It will not kill 'em ! Votes: +1

Although I agree with the intention of the three nevers, I disagree with the absolute attitude of the never. I have done each of the three on rare occasions when due-dates have coincided disproportionately while my kids have paced their work out appropriately and technology malfunctions have presented unmanageable hurdles in their otherwise manageable paths. We have two basic rules in our home, one, unrelated to topic at hand, 'NO ELECTRONICS ON CONCRETE' and two, 'if grades slip below predetermined standard, then mom micro-manages' starting with bedtime, screen time, and social limitations.

Clarity and consistency makes our rules very effective. Since I stopped negotiating with my kids, their grades have consistently stayed between 3.7 to 4.0. Our minimum is 3.5. You do have to know your kids, but shoot for a high target and set a high minimum with success nets in place. I have great respect for my kids as individuals, but this rule, basically our only rule, was non-negotiable and will not be up for future debate. My kids know to ask homework related questions up front and save the sob stories after grades are posted. They also know if I ever get a phone call from school, I am siding with the teacher and they will default into my consequences in addition to any served at school. My kids also know that Dad is a key architect of the plan and Mom is the maintenance manager. Votes: -1

Too many ads on these pages. Who can read any of this without going bonkers? Votes: +3

I also disagree with the 3rd one like many other commenters. Friends have a lot influence on your children's lives. Most kids get in trouble because of their friends. It is called peer pressure. You want your children to hang out with kids who are polite, responsible, motivated and respectful. You are who you hang out with. I give the same advice to grown ups. Votes: +0

I gathered from a few of the comments what some of the content might be, but I didn't get to read the article. Having to relaid the next page for every 2 paragraphs is ludicrous and a waste of time. One might argue that it took
longer for me to reply with a comment than it would be to read the article. One would be wrong. By the time I finish this reply, I would still not have gotten to the very first of the 3 things. Mydailymoment needs to rethink the format Votes: +4

Could you make reading this article any more difficult???...between the advertisements, numerous pages and the page moving on it's own every 10 seconds, I never did finish reading it... Votes: +3

My comment is about the page. WAY too busy. I don't even want to stay and read it. More than seven pages when there can be 2. Please rethink the format. Votes: +0

rambling,rambling,rambling-tell us something or don't write at all Votes: +1

I'm 27 and everytime I go to my Mom's house for the holidays, she is the ultimate helicopter-parent. Always asking if she can get me a pillow/food/etc, and trying to doing my dishes (because I sit near them to make sure she doesn't do them when I'm not looking) when I literally just made something and am sitting down to eat it. I've basically taken care of myself since I was 15 and raised my sister since she was 12 when our parents split. Every time I go there she does this and every time I tell her I prefer to do things on my own, but nothing changes. It's a huge source of frustration because she thinks I'm ungrateful and I think she doesn't realize I'm an adult. Learning to take care of myself was hard enough in college because I never had chores/curfew/any rules growing up, and I don't blame anyone for that. I just want to not be treated like I'm 14 when I'm in that house. Votes: +0

This article is very superficial. What's really happened is that the majority of baby-boomer parents wanted to be "friends" with their children and not actual PARENTS because that means being unpopular. The article could be shortened to: "The one thing you should never do with your child". Answer? NEVER be their friend......if you don't parent them through into their young adulthood....you're not a friend, but rather a self-absorbed, narcissistic, insecure burden on society - raising DEPENDENT creatures rather than autonomous, self-reliant, secure adults. Votes: +1

In extreme cases, with extreme and unreasonable teachers, I have actually done homework for my kids. If the homework seems like nothing more than busy work, and my child has a really good grasp on the subject, I have no problem with sending htem out to play or sending them to bed and finishing the a*signment. It is my belief that homework should be viewed as a tool - if I see that it's a tool being misused, or that it will have ZERO positive effect, I am all for giving your child a little nudge. Of course this is after having conversations with the teachers first - if they don't budge, I will.
http://www.slowfamilyliving.com Votes: -2

Seriously, 7 pages to click through for a 3 point article? Stop wasting my time. Votes: +6

7 pages? Seriously. Instead of reading the article like I came to do I will be closing this stupid page and moving on. 3 pages is annoying. 7 pages is just freaking ridiculous. Also... Yes I fell that point was worth posting about without even reading the article. Votes: +5

"you're the gatekeeper of your child's affairs"

#4 Don't let your kid have affairs. Votes: +0

Imagine my surprise when I realized that the same feelings can hit fathers too! Votes: +1

Dr. Borba was obviously never a parent. Wonder what his/her doctorate is in anyway?? Votes: +1

Can you make an effort next time to produce a gender neutral article? Unless this article is about raising little boys (it's not), it really should not be "he", "his", etc. Votes: +1

So what were the three things? This article gives one general thing -- "don't be a helicopter parent". Duh.
Votes: +1

Hate these "3 things you should never do" articles that are sliced up into 10 pages. Just tell me the 3 f**king things you idiots. Votes: +1

I agree with most of what was said here. Helping your child when they are having a homework problem is one thing as long as you not doing the a*signment for them. I know some parents that ddi this, thinking it will help their kids get into better schools later, but at some point that's going to back fire.

I never spoke for my child if someone was asking them a direct question.

Picking friends - as parents, you know very little about the friends your kids hangout with - I a*suming those that do - base it on the friends parents.

I always asked where my kids would be and never got into a situation where I had to tell them to avoid certain friends. If you teach your kids to do the right thing - they will make those choices for themselves. Both my son and daugther stopped hanging out with some friends from their younger days as they moved into high school and when I later asked why - I found out that it was because those kids started drinking or taking drugs. So they sought out new friends that didn't. I would have never thoght that some of those friends were into those things - your kids are a lot closer to that sitaution. Votes: +0

why is it only HE,HIS, and HIM........isn't there a SHE or HER in the factor. Makes us guys look stupid! FIX IT SEXIST PRICK! Votes: -2

This is the most annoying, ad-filled website I've ever been on. My reading was interrupted by pop-ups over and over and the ads on both sides ofthe article full of pictures of people's bulging stomachs were horrible. This site is nothing but an excuse to make money from ads. I'll never visit it again. Votes: +2

Seriously? Votes: +0

How about this to simplify what should have been a short article:

Don't do anything for your kid that they can (and should) do for themselves. Votes: +1

"Don't choose their friends"? This seems like very bad advice. While it's true that you can't force your kids to be friends with who you want, you can and certainly should, guide them to the right friends. Friends make too big of a difference in a kids life to leave it all up to chance and there is plenty you can do without forcing the issue. Like encouraging your child to invite over the "good" friends and not the "bad" ones, or talking to your child about the "friend" who keeps putting her down and excluding her, maybe she shouldn't hang out with that friend? Or making friends with the parents of the nice kid she met on her soccer team. You may not be able to actually choose your kids friends, but you should certainly help her choose the right friends! Votes: +1

A ridiculous waste of time. If you can't figure these simple things out on your own, don't have kids. I am tired of bratty, indulged children who have no sense of self. Make your kids responsible and accountable, and start at a young age. Easy. Votes: +0

I agree with all 3 of the "Never Do's"...especially #3, which was extremely difficult for me when my son was younger. He was friends with this one boy, whom I wasn't too fond of. Not that this young man was a bad kid by any means, I just felt that he was NOT as good a friend to my son, as my son was to him. He was kind of a "fair weather friend" and as hard as it was, I NEVER told my son how I felt. I did however tell him often, that I was NOT always going to be there to choose his friends for him and he had to learn a person's character on his own.

Well my kid is now a 23 year old recent grad of The Ohio State University and I met a lot of his friends while I was there for graduation. Afterwards, I posted this on my Facebook page: "You know when your child goes away to college, you always worry about the people they may meet and their influences. I must admit that after meeting them, my son has made some "really cool friends!" Votes: +0

Very long article that could be summarized with 3 bullet points. I guess the idea is to generate as many advertising link hits as possible. Votes: +0

Also, you should avoid using gender bias pronouns when you write articles. ;P Votes: +1

I thought the article was good but leaves a parent hanging at the end about what to do about unsavory friends. I would like to add that if a child/adolescent starts hanging with unsuitable friends, I think the best thing to do is maintain structure and rules that will keep them safe. For instance maybe these negative friends are allowed to stay out later or don't get much supervision from their parents. You still should maintain the curfews or boundaries you've established for your child. They may get in trouble b/c these other friends don't respect their need to be in by a certain time. Your child needs to learn to say I have to get home now, and if their friends don't get that, your child learns that they're not real friends who hold their interests as important, and will drop those friends, or those friends won't want to hang around with your child b/c they don't want to abide by those limits or interruptions to their activities.
Or if your child asks to do an activity that you don't allow, then maintain those limits; or if it's something new, like going to a concert or event that they've never done before, then you be the one to transport them back and forth. If something more serious happens, for example, shoplifting, talk with your child to learn how they got caught up in that activity, how do they feel about it, and how they can avoid getting talked into it again. That, along with consequences such as being grounded (not forever!) and/or only being allowed shopping with you for a period of time, etc. Don't give a consequence out of anger, but out of thoughtful considered reasoning. The point is, your child needs to learn who and how to choose friends, not try to get away with hanging out with people who have been forbidden. If you forbid people, your child will get secretive and not turn to you if they need to discuss how to deal with a dilemma from that friendship. Only as a last resort should you actually forbid a friendship. Votes: +0

Yes, I see your point. But don't you think children should have time to play, have fun, and grow up before taking on all these responsibilities? Children have different sensitivites-some children need a little "helicoptering" to feel safe before they start taking the plunge to adulthood. If I want to go to the extreme and be ridiculous, children are going to work someday, make love someday, etc so should we start them off at 4, 5, and 6 with these activities? Sometimes, I think, children are pushed too early into certain actions that they are not ready for. Please let them have their childhood. Thanks for your patience.
Janice M. Votes: +0

I'm curious why "3 Things You Should Never Do for Your Kids" takes 7 pages to explain? Votes: +0

#3 seems to be the most controversial (probably because it is wrong). You should always choose your child's friends when they are very young. Most of us do this automatically by creating play opportunities and outings with other children whose parents we know and whose behavior we have observed. Along the way, the process should shift toward teaching them what it means to be a friend and how to choose their friends wisely. My wife did an incredibly good job of this, saving our 3 children much angst on their path to adulthood. Votes: +0

Never say never... be as flexible and intelligent with your children as you would be with your spouse or friend. Though there's things you wouldn't normally do... exceptions are a normal part of life. Votes: +0

"Never" is a pretty strong word here. Sometimes homework (especially for very young kids) is expected to be done, at least in part, by the parents. My preschooler was asked to write a journal entry about a guest stuffed animal that traveled to different kids' houses each weekend when it was our turn. Obviously none of the kids her age can read, let alone write yet. We were expected to do the writing. I guess I could consider that to be "our homework" rather than hers, but I kind of object to parents being given homework on their kids' behalf. As for speaking for kids, again necessary before the kids can speak for themselves (think infant/toddler). And picking their friends? Obviously when they're very little, you have a lot of control over who even gets into the friend-consideration set. Beyond that, choosing which acquaintances become "friends," I don't think parents have the power to decide, even if they want to. Votes: +0

"MAYBE,PREHAPS,DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP..THE ANSWER IS NO." "THAT'S A POOR ARGUEMENT. GO THINK OF A BETTER ONE AND THEN COME BACK" "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR LUNCH?" "WHEN I READ THE NEWSPAPER IT IS MY PLAYTIME" "WHY DO YOU THINK JOEY HIT MIKE?" "HEY KID, I CAN'T TELL IF YOUR COLD,TIRED OR HUNGRY. YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR SWEATER,CURL UP ON THE COUCH OR TELL ME YOUR HUNGRY" "WE DISCUSSED NO MONEY TO BUY STUFF BEFORE WE WENT INTO THE STORE. NOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE. YOU CAN PUT THE TOY BACK OR WALK HOME!" "IT IS A CHALLENG TO WRITE A GOOD COMPOSITION.HERE IS METHORD TO HELP. ON SEPERATE SLIPS OF PAPER WRITE DOWN ONE IDEA OR FACT.WHEN YOU HAVE DONE THAT PUT THEM IN ORDER OF..1ST GROUP THE BEGINNING..2ND GROUP THE MIDDLE AND 3RD GROUP YOUR CONCLUSION.THEN GO BACK AND PUT EACH GROUP IN ORDER. NOW COPY THIS ORDER AND YOU HAVE YOUR COMPOSITION.COME BACK AND READ IT TO ME, THAT WAY IF IT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT TO YOU, YOU CAN CORRECT IT." I'M JUST A MOTHER WHO WAS AWARDED A GROUP OF WONDERFUL CHILDREN FROM ANOTHER PLANET AND I MUST SHOW THEM THE 'ROPES' OF LIVING HERE!! Votes: +0

More demonizing and shaming of multigenerational households, even though they have been common all throughout history and other cultures, and can even be a sign of responsibility (adult children agreeing to help and care for their parents in old age instead of shoving them into a horrible old age home.) Votes: +0

I have no idea what the three things are and can hardly believe that an article that takes about 8 pages to present roughly 20 actual paragraphs gets read.

MyDailyMoment is apparently an advertising blast. Votes: +0

Another problem with parenting is perfectly shown in the photo accompanying this article: some kid with her arms folding glaring at her parents who are submissively sitting down. Didn't pictures back in the day used to show the opposite?? I don't know when or why the media (movies, TV shows and commercials) decided it would be funny or inconsequential to show kids being disrespectful, know-it-alls, magically 'smarter' than grown-ups with three times their experience, etc., but as could have been expected, the gullible portion of the parent population fell for it. I think it's sickening to even compose a photograph like the one shown here. Just what good does it do to train a child to feel that they have more control than they do, that they're more capable or experienced than they are, and that parents are nothing but bill payers who need to 'shut up'? Totally disgusting. Totally. Votes: +0

Nothing like clicking a link to an article with "3 things you should never do", only to find out it's a 7-page article. Sorry, I'm suddenly not interested anymore. I have things to do, like pack processed meats and HFCS snacks into my kids lunchbags for tomorrow. Votes: +1

I thought this article was going to be really good , until I began reading the details. Under "Don't choose your kids' friends"...I couldn't agree more with that statement. But then you read this ridiculous authors details, and it is quite clear that she chooses and micromanages her kids friends to death and worse, thinks her kid would be way too good for yours.
So the author says that it is ok no prevent your kid from hanging out with a kid who may misbehave, swear, or have bad habits!! Dear God, don't we all have those vices sometimes??? If you say no you are fooling yourselves. Now the stealing part I completely agree with. That is a very different story. But if this author really feels we should shelter our kids from anyone who ever has misbehaved, sworn or has bad habits, she is in la la land, and her kid will probably be messed up and rebellious. Votes: +0

I would like to add that if you find out your child is hanging out with a drug or alcohol abuser, a person having sex too early , or someone who is doing anything against the law, I would wholeheartedly agree that it is ok to try and stop that friendship. However, to try and shelter your kid from anyone who 'misbehaves, swears or has bad habits' is utterly ridiculous. You will need to prevent your kid from hanging out from themselves, if you are honest. NO ONE is perfect. The author must think her kids are little angels and too good for everyone else's kids. Votes: +2

Why do I have to click through 7 pages to read about 3 things you shouldn't do...? Votes: +1

I do not agree with #3 - in today's world you have to help your kids choose their friends. There is too much drug abuse and alcohol use so you really have to see who they are hanging out with. Also, some nice friends have "bad" older brothers and sisters that lead the younger kids down a wrong path. My advice is keep am eye on your kids friends AND be wary of their siblings too. Votes: +1

You say three things! Well list and number the three things. All I got was don't do things for your kids= one. One big thing. Formation of text is lacking. Votes: +0

Any time you see an article telling you always or never, you can bet there are plenty of exceptions that make it wrong. And this article is no exception to that rule.

Any parent worth their salt will:

1. Help their children understand and master problems they are having with their school work/home work, without doing it for them.
2. Refuse to let their children be friends with those whose behavior doesn't meet their standards.
3. Speak up for their children when it is appropriate and to their benefit. Votes: +1

Poorly written article by someone who is clearly more worried about yoga cla*s and their next cup at Starbucks. Support and doing are two different things and allowing your child to get stuck and frustrated without offering solutions will not challenge or help your child become independent. But please, let your children struggle as my child learns how to properly write an essay (at home) and look up answers...in a dictionary...and gets extra math problems...because I know where he is stuck and don't expect the teacher to give him the extra help because all of your children are screaming and yelling because they were taught to "speak up for themselves". Thank you. Votes: +0

This site is horrible. The articles take 10 pages to get to a point that can be made in 3 sentences because they want you to look through all of their ads about testosterone enhancement. My daily moment is nothing more than an advertising sex site.
Votes: +2

If you don't want to have to click through all the pages, just click on print, and you can read a copy straight through....don't have to print it. Votes: +0

Dear Every Blogger in the World,
Do you not realize how bothersome it is to have to click through eight pages of your article that can easily be put onto one page? I'm just saying, if you'd put fewer ads then maybe you'd have room for more than three paragraphs! Just a friendly suggestion from someone who remembers the internet before ads.
Sincerely,
Someone who only made it to the 3rd page Votes: +1

Separate your life from your kids if you want independence to grow.

Helping your kids with homework is a no-no in any fashion. Children need to build relationships with others---it's part of becoming independent. The person who gave them the homework a*signment is the person they should deal with. If they can't do their homework---too hard, or whatever, the person they should talk to about this problem is their teacher, not their parent. You have their parent, not their teacher. If my kids had difficulties with their homework I would encourage them to talk to their teachers about this. This way they develop into people who turn to others for help---not just their parents. They also learn to fix their own problems, not always turn to their parents to fix their problems. When a kid learns to fix their own problems, they feel good about themselves and that helps make them more independent. It takes courage to be independent. You are your child's cheerleader---not their problem-solver.

I'd also tell my kids' teachers that if they had a problem with my child that I did not consider serious or continual, they should talk to my child about it. I had to literally run away from some teachers who wanted me to "fix" the problem they were having with my kids.

Votes: -3

Nice article. For gorgeous apartments in New York City, please check findmybuilding.com Votes: -3

This article is so far off base. My daughter would have left home well before 18 is I had even attempted to do even ONE of those things mentioned. The ARE three things that WILL keep them home, however, if you continue doing them past their middle teens. They are, 1) Their Laundry 2) Buy them whatever they want and 3) Clean up after them. I can guarantee if you do THESE 3 things, they will never leave!
Votes: +0

I agree with the arcticle. As the parent of an adult with autism, I often felt (and still often do feel) the urge to "do it for him". I have learned over the years that yes, it WILL take longer for him to do it himself, but you just have to build that extra time into schedule. Mom is not always going to be here to do it for him. I have volunteered many times with other children with disabilities, and have seen how they "can't do it", when actually it was "they had never been allowed to do it" for themselves. One child was 15 years old and didn't know how to butter his own toast. I just told him, "Guess what, today you are going to learn how!" He was perfectly capapble, but had never been given chance. As I only had 1 child, I never realized that parents of children without disabilities have to deal with this issue as well. Sometimes we all "HANDICAP" our kids with out meaning to. Votes: -1

I dont agree with that, kids need the support and confidence that mom or dad are going to be there when they need it, is part of their security blanket. I've seen it those are the kids that are restless, insecure, noisy and unable to focus. I do many times things for my kids, they are very well behave, good students, and helpful Votes: +1

"3 Things You Should Never Do for Your Kids"

*doesn't get to #1 until page 4 of 7*

(-_-) Votes: +1

In my parents generation, it was common for one child to stay home and take care of their aging parents. How did this custom become so hated that everyone looks down on children who now live at home with their older parents? People need to get a life and stop mocking thier neighbor's households. My wife is deceased and my son has chosen to stay at home and help me out. I never did his homework, I never made his bed, I never spoke for him. He is a college grad with a very good job. He just made the decision to help his dad. Votes: +4

I am a true hovering parent. But I do it because my son constantly puts himself in danger. Whether over the rails of our deck, out a window, or running into traffic, he has no sense of himself. He's seven and still utterly oblivious. I'll bet I've saved his life 50 times. And, moreover, left to do things on his own, which I try to foster all the time, he will destroy something. He's a bull in a china shop. And, I will say, I don't do his homework (although getting him to do it is a constant war) and I don't choose his friends, although I am still waiting for him to choose one. He has no friends and shows almost no interest in having them, even when I have play dates. I do often speak for him, but I only do it because he refuses to speak when spoken to - even "hello" I have to pull out of him. Votes: +0

First of all i need to tell you ..I think this ias all about me! OMG Seeing it in black and white is scarry! I know i do all of this and need to stop, My son is my life litterally,,,I had him when i was 19 and had to prove to my parents i was a good mother and i guess it just snowballed from there. I would like to reblogthis if you dont mind
www.crazynessismylife74.wordpress.com Votes: +0

I am coming from a children's perspective on this article--which I thought, for the most part, was very accurate and well written. I just wanted to explain (for my generation) why so many children are still living at home--we cannot afford not to! If you went to college, like I did, and then went to law school, like I did, and you incurred all the debt with it because your parents cannot financially help you out--then there is almost no way to afford your own place. Well, unless you want to live in a dump or with weird roommates. Unfortunately, you can get a REALLY good high paying job--like I did--and STILL have no choice but to move in with mom and dad because your monthly student loan payments are more than two mortgages. Votes: +3

So, what are the three things? My attention span is long, but not long enough to click on 7 pages to read what might be 1000 words. Try to get some information on the first page, lest you be suspected of pandering to advertisers.

Votes: +1

WHAT A WASTE Votes: +1

Doing for your kids ie Helicopter parents is problematic. however the world has changed. Some teachers and school officials insist on remaining in careers that they are no longer qualified - then the student is defenseless and does need the a*sistance of an adult. Another example is the occasional incompetent Physician - the teenager/young adult is at a loss of what to do. Again the a*sistance of of an adult to help train the young adult regarding steps to rectify the situation is needed. I agree that kids need to fend for themselves and do for themselves but in today's world there are enough situations where additional training is needed. For any teachers or physicians who get a bee up their behind after reading this - The good and qualified people I recommend to their supervisors. the incompetent and dangerous people - I help them move to other careers. Votes: +1

Wow, had to get to page four to even start the list. Poorly written. Votes: +0

I'd like to say something about the 3rd 'Never do for your kids - Don't choose their friends'rule listed here. If they're making friends that they're primarily communicating with online and those parents aren't willing to come in and meet you when their child has walked home with your child, it's time to intervene. Yes, we don't expect them to be friends with our friends kids, but in order to keep everyone safe, it's imperative in these times when 3rd graders have smart-phones that there is some real face-time with the families of your children's friends! Votes: +0

This is BS. Leaving a child to struggle by himself and doing something for a child are not the only two options. All of life is comprised of a combination of doing things for ourselves, having things done for us, and doing things together. Each can be appropriate depending on context. If I have learned anything from watching my various family members raise children, it is that there is no one formula, and that a bratty or spoiled three year old, or fifteen year old, does not mean an unkind or unsuccessful adult. The important thing is that you are engaged with your child, you talk with your child and you do stuff with your child. Every parent wants to give their child opportunities to succeed on his/her own, but that doesn't mean never helping or doing things together. Trust your gut. Votes: +3

three things parents should not do teach there kids how to masturbate, suck d**k, or f**k your pets or mothers . ( im sorry mom) nevermind that last part for you see im bored and while typing this with one hand and masturbating with the other while sucking a d**k like my parents tought me i really dont know better thank you and futwa. Votes: -1

What a garbage talk! Votes: +0

I read this and I have to say that even though I am not a parent, you would not believe how many men I have dated that are totally inept at life in general, who have told me that their parents and others did their homework for them when they were kids. They get into this cycle of blame for their failures in life. Its the goverment's fault. Its this person's fault. There aren't enough jobs. No responsibility for their own behavior, failure or success whatsoever. And I am in my mid-30's. This is not some "new trend" for these "young dumb parents". Votes: +0

So what are the "three things"? Votes: +1

This is such a terrible article! There are seven pages that you have to (annoyingly) click through when all the information could have easily been consolidated on one. There is a long-winded, boring introduction that lasts several pages before the actual list begins. Then, the title of the article itself is offensive. The article writer presumes to speak for every parent and every child with the word "never." Never say never! What about children with special needs who are nonverbal? There are times they need their parents to speak for them because they cannot. All the time? No, but sometimes. Votes: +3

My parent did every one of these vehemently for the first 18 years of my life. No wonder I turned out this way.. Votes: +1

Man, that was a painful article to read. Author needs to learn how to write for the web. Hint: Less is More. Web developers: provide a link to view the whole article!!
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First let me state that I do not have children, but want to comment regarding my mother's parenting.
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Regarding homework: I had regular homework from 1st grade on. (I have a Masters degree.) When I was having a problem with high school geometry proofs, my mother suggested starting with the solution and working backwards. Not only did that get me thru geometry, but served me well in a 46+ year career as a computer programmer. But she never did any homework for me.
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My additional "do not" suggestions:
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4. If you child gets a weekly allowance (hopefully in conjunction with doing some appropriate household chores), for most kids, by the time they are in middle school/junior high, they should get only a MONTHLY allowance. It should also be designated to pay for some expenses, such a school supplies. To encourage saving, provide a limited amount of matching funds. (I guess that was a "do" not a "do not" - so the "do not" is do not give an allowance with no strings attached and allow it to be spent on anything.)
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5. Do not buy your child a car. Let them save for it and earn it, taking public transportation as needed. They will appreciate it more and hopefully not wreck it in the first year. And at the very least, make sure they cover the gas and insurance costs!! A loan is OK, but make sure they make payments - no excuses.
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Some of these things are tough, but that's what my mom did and I turned out pretty good. Votes: +1

Hummmmmmmmmmm..... good points. However, some more that parents my want to NO DO: Never purchase your child a car, don't pay their insurance for them, don't purchase them a cell phone, MAKE them get a JOB if they want things in life. If they have to work for things they'll take better care of them and in the process learn HOW to be independent. I was 16 and ask my parents for a car - they both replied, "Get a job and purchase your own car." 45 years old now and I've purcahsed two vehicles by myself, and have never went back home or ask my parents for money. Parents should be parents and not buddy-buddy/friends with their children. Votes: +0

So, what are the 3 things. I read the article twice. An article that is titled "3 things that you should never do for your kids" it should tell you what the 3 things are. What a waste! Votes: -1

Decent insight, but did someone fail to proofread this...the first line seems to not make sense: "Just because you might be friends with someone doesn't necessarily mean your child when be friends with that person's child." Maybe should be WILL be friends. Votes: +0

One "rule" I take exception to and fix for the writer:

You should ALWAYS, ALWAYS do your child's homework. Don't make your child waste his/her life on repetitive stupid repetition they already know how to do. Instead do the homework for them that they already know -- because you tested them on it yourself -- then take the remainder of the homework time to teach them something new, or preload their mind with the next likely step in their learning process so that when the teacher gets to the next theing, your child will already have been briefly introduced to the new concept, or spend the extra time explaining to them the stuff they don't really know and get them to work on homework they really need to be doing more of, and make them do THAT until they reach mastery.

What does that get you in the end? Just what I got. A son who will NOT do his homework because he thinks it is stupid, but can pa*s tests at 90% or higher because he deeply understands the material, immediately. For some, that makes my son a failure, for others, they think he's creatively brilliant (particularly in physics and mathematics).

What kind of kid do YOU want in the end?

As a parent, I want a kid who can think for himself, not one who proves he can generate ad nauseum examples of a learning principle just to please a teacher for a letter grade.

I understand not all parents can do this. I DO have the educational background to support this kind of teaching of my own child, so I do know what he knows and what he doesn't, but needs to know. Votes: +2

Since my parents didn't graduate from high school, they weren't really able to help me with my homework, but they didn't allow me to use that excuse not to do mine. I went to a relatively young and modern school district that was very good THEN, but it's total CRAP now. So do NOT do your kid's homework. Homework is a problem solving exercise.

Do NOT pay for your kid's bills, especially once they are adults. Encourage your kids to learn how to earn a buck when they are YOUNG, by at least 15 years old (the sooner the better), and don't give them a big allowance after 15 years old. Don't let them live at home RENT FREE once they are 20 or so....you will NEVER get rid of them. And don't let them give you that line, "You don't LOVE ME anymore" BS.

If you have a younger kid who hangs out with LOSERS, then you need to step in PRONTO. Yes, your kid might not like it, but if you honestly KNOW that your kid's friends are BAD, don't allow them into your home, and encourage your kid to find other friends with better values.

If your kid spends tons of time playing video games, that's BAD too. Make a rule...no video games until the homework gets done. Bad grades, no video games, no CELL PHONE, either. Votes: +0

To "Mark" who left the comment:"He has no friends and shows almost no interest in having them, even when I have play dates. I do often speak for him, but I only do it because he refuses to speak when spoken to - even "hello" I have to pull out of him."
Your child has Aspergers, a form of high functioning autism. I ought to know, three of my four children have it. I hope you get the help he needs. Votes: +0

This article sucks balls. Who wrote it? I don't want my child to be friends with some creepy old men on the street for sure. Votes: +3

Oh brother! I was considered a "smother mother" because I protected my kids when they were young. I homeschooled them, censored their tv viewing and books and wouldn't let them stay away from home overnight. When they were young. They needed this as children.

As they grew and matured, things were more left to them, and I have to say, I have never seen four more outspoken, confident individuals, who, incidently couldn't wait to move out!

The problem is not doing for our children and protecting them, its not allowing them to branch out, a bit at a time, as they are ready to. And mom's who are that in tuned with their kids, know when they're ready for what.... even if mom may not be entirely. Votes: -1

Mother of four children, three grown, one age 11. This term "helicopter parenting" is just more garbage psychobabble designed to keep it's purveyors selling books and getting their faces on talk shows. It's a bunch of hooey.

You'd better believe I choose my kids' friends from the time they're little until they're in college, and even then I ask about their friends and get to know them. I don't want the good work I did for 18 years raising children who believe in and love the Lord to be undone by a*sociations with guys who are going to school only to get drunk and get laid. And there's certainly many who are there solely for that purpose. My son is spending my money and grant money and loan money to actually get an education so you better believe I damn well have a say in who he hangs out with. And any parent still contributing to their children whether by room and board or any other way financially, you also darn well have the right to have a say in their friendships and anything else you see fit. When my kids can pay all their own bills, then they can choose their friends and live their lives without my advice (though they all still ask for it because they are smart enough to know that my wisdom didn't come from thin air. It was won through hard life experiences.)

I would like to add that it used to be, until the last century, that families of many generations lived together, often in quite small residences. It is a new phenomenon that we think kids have to be out of the house at 18 and never return! As long as they contribute in some way, my kids can live with me as long as they like. They're actually great company now. We have real conversations. Why any parent would be in such a hurry to give that up I don't understand. Votes: +2

I agree with all of those points! When I was a kid, my mom HELPED with my homework when I was in 1st-3rd grade. She worked part time while my dad worked full time, and I had a little brother. I remember in 4th grade I asked for help with an a*signment and my mom told me she had no idea what the answer was! I'm not sure if she was kidding or really didn't know, but that was the last time I sought her help. I asked the teacher, and was given the help I needed. I graduated cum laude from college 4 years ago. Wrote my own admission essays and everything. :)

Kids take pride in their work, and good parenting is important! Votes: +0

Do female children not exist in this author's worldview? Votes: +0

I agree you must not do your child' homework or project for them, should let them choose their own friends yet keep them from bad company and allow them to have their own voice.
But, the meaning of helicopter parent is just "a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions". What is wrong with that? There is nothing wrong with that. The child feels loved , cared and supported. There is nothing wrong in fostering these feelings. There are innumerous parents who are according to the American term of helicopter parents who have raised perfectly normal independent children who also love their parents and are open with them and do not run away from their homes to prove their independence.

You are just making a big deal terming the type of parents. The only type of parents who you have to be careful about are those who don't love their children or who hurt them physically/mentally. Votes: +0

I'm not a mother, but this article DOESN'T SAY THE 3 THINGS TO NOT DO!!! Votes: +0

How annoying is to read an article two paragraphs per webpage?

7 pages for an article that could have easily fit in one.

Do you SO DESPERATELY need those clicks? Votes: +0