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3 Things You Should Never Do for Your Kids
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"It just may help that you alter you current response with your kids. And here's a big reason why: Researchers are seeing this phenomenon of "parental hovering" (aka micro-managing, overparenting or helicoptering) as a dangerous trend when it comes to how our kids turn out. The long and the short is: If we keep the hovering we'll rob our kids of an essential trait for L.I.F.E. called self-reliance!"
And Dr. Borba is definitely onto something. The ramifications of helicopter parenting are far reaching. Take a recent poll conducted by Harris Interactive for the National Endowment for Financial Education. It showed that 40 percent of American adults aged 18-39 reside at home or have done so in the recent past. That figure also excludes students.Even more disturbing is the fact that 26 percent of parents with adult children living at home have incurred their own debt to support these adult children, with 7 percent delaying retirement.
While it may seem like a giant leap to take, the point is it's never too early to teach your children to be independent. You want your children to be able to stand on their own two feet so they can make the transition from impressionable children to responsible adults.
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I was able to get around the problem and started at a very early age. When I would take my daughter's to the grocery store they were allowed to choose one item from the fresh fruit and vegetable section. They could choose whatever they wanted. Over the years we tried some very different things. But it did seriously reduce the "I wants" in the aisles of the should not haves. On occasion they were allowed a candy treat, but it was never a reward for behavior, or used as a bribe. These are the areas that parents go wrong.
By allowing children a choice, it gives them a sense of power, something to look forward to and something to prize. And there were fun times trying to figure out how to cook something. And led to some new favorite foods that we may not have tried before.
But children should always be given guidelines on what behavior is acceptable whenever you leave the house and eventually they'll know on their own.