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3 Things You Should Never Do for Your Kids
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The term "helicopter parent" was actually coined in the 1990 self-help guide Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility. It's frequently used to describe those parents who sweep in to rescue their children from the perils of higher education. For some, it's hard to believe that parents would actually appeal to a college professor on behalf of their young adult offspring, but it shouldn't come as much of a surprise.
This trend begins long before teens ever don their cap and gown and head off to college. It's a behavior that we as adults begin even in the earliest stages of parenting. However, helicopter parenting can have some serious implications on our children. While it might seem like we are doing our children a favor at the time, that couldn't be further from the truth. What we're essentially creating are children who are reliant on us for everything.
Parenting expert and educational psychologist Michele Borba addresses the trend of helicopter parenting on her personal Web site, www.micheleborba.com. On her blog, the author of No More Misbehavin' and Don't Give Me That Attitude points out that children will continue to sink if you don't teach them to swim. Dr. Borba writes, "Look down the road at the big picture. If you keep on with any hovering behavior now, how will your kids turn out later? Every once in a while, we need to fast forward your parenting and think ahead.
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I was able to get around the problem and started at a very early age. When I would take my daughter's to the grocery store they were allowed to choose one item from the fresh fruit and vegetable section. They could choose whatever they wanted. Over the years we tried some very different things. But it did seriously reduce the "I wants" in the aisles of the should not haves. On occasion they were allowed a candy treat, but it was never a reward for behavior, or used as a bribe. These are the areas that parents go wrong.
By allowing children a choice, it gives them a sense of power, something to look forward to and something to prize. And there were fun times trying to figure out how to cook something. And led to some new favorite foods that we may not have tried before.
But children should always be given guidelines on what behavior is acceptable whenever you leave the house and eventually they'll know on their own.