|Making Friends with Other Moms||| Print ||
|Written by Vanessa Rush|
|Wednesday, 02 June 2010 10:00|
Some of us imagined that when we had children, we would become a member of a special tribe, a global community of mothers where we'd always be able to find common ground and form strong bonds.
Ideally, that is the way it should be, but reality doesn't always live up to the ideal.
Making friends in general can be a challenge, and that doesn't always change when a woman has children. Many mothers find it difficult to hook up with other moms who live nearby, have common interests and children in the right age group.
Several factors complicate the situation.
It's enough to make you turn the stroller around and go home! But don't throw in the burping cloth just yet; there are some strategies you can use to open up your horizons and meet compatible moms.
Where the Moms Are
If you want to meet some other mothers, you'll have to put yourself where mothers gather. This will give you the opportunity to chat with a variety of mothers from various walks of life. Some great places to try include:
As mothers, you have some common conversation topics to share, so you may find it easy to throw in your 2 cents even if you're not the super-talkative type.
In large groups, you're bound to find someone who's interested in chatting. Try not to take rejection too personally. For every stone wall you hit, there's a mother who's easy-going, fun and interested in being a friend.
The Internet has opened the door for millions of people to meet and connect. Mothers have been using the World Wide Web since its inception, sharing child-rearing tips, ideas, and offering emotional support with other moms across the globe.
The Internet can be a good place to start if you're feeling a bit isolated and want to reach out however you can. While chatting, posting and e-mailing aren't the same as live interaction and play dates, they can be intellectually stimulating, fun, and may lead to finding friends you can eventually meet face-to-face.
Mothersclick.com includes a feature that helps you find other moms' groups in your area. You'll find an abundance of mom communities for stay at home moms (or SAHM's, in e-speak), but Mothersclick.com is a space for working moms to connect with each other and express their points of view.
Momzone.com is another general interest site where mothers can post thoughts and share advice. You may even want to jump on the mom-blog bandwagon and add your own opinions and experiences to the mix. You never know, it might help you connect with others who share your feelings.
There are online communities for moms from various backgrounds, religious faiths, and interests. Just do a Google search and you'll likely find one that catches your eye.
Take the Reins
You need to be pro-active if you're going to meet other moms. This may be easy for women who are naturally outgoing and friendly, but it can feel forced for those with a shy or quiet manner.
If you're worn out from going to other moms, bring other moms to you. You can start a mom's book club, meet-up, or dinner night and advertise it on your local bulletin boards. It may seem odd for a shy person to opt to start a social group, but upon closer inspection, it may be just what you need. As the leader/founder of the group, you have some control over how the events run, the other members will probably have questions and initiate interaction with you, and you'll know you have at least one common interest with your guests.
It's particularly challenging for mothers who don't fit societal norm to find mom-friends. For example:
Some other cases that make it difficult to meet and bond with other mothers include:
Women in these and other unique circumstances should use a combination of all the above tips, support groups, and social networking to find mothers who share similar life experiences.
|Last Updated on Thursday, 08 July 2010 18:35|