If you have daughters, then you might be tired of all things Disney princess, pink, girly and so on. But have you ever stopped to think about the impact the girly-girl culture might have later on in life? Peggy Orenstein has, and she's written the new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, about how marketing to a stereotype of girls' gender, appearance and femininity can be detrimental to them. Consider the story line of the typical "princess" story - damsel in distress who is saved by a prince. Many times, the princess sacrifices a lot to get the guy - Ariel even gave up her voice so that she could meet Prince Eric! Orenstein's main problem is the idea of making femininity into something you can buy. So what can parents do to broaden their daughters' ideas of what being a girl really means? Orenstein describes the process as an ongoing discussion parents should have with their kids about what images on products, in movies and on television mean for girls. Ask questions as you watch her favorite girly shows - "Why do you think Snow White is doing that?" or "Why do you think she's dressed like that?"
Point out positive role models for girls and why they're good examples - "Belle enjoys reading and being smart. Do you?" And offer choices - when toy shopping, don't make negative comments about the toys in the boys' aisles and don't steer her immediately to the Barbies and Disney items. Consider why the same version of an item gets "pinkified" and whether or not it's really necessary to buy the girly version. Orenstein cites a version of Monopoly in which girls can buy boutiques and shopping malls, pay their cell phone bills and receive texts and instant messages. Why? It leaves moms shaking their heads and doesn't set a good example for girls of how they should behave. Open up the lines of communication between you and your daughter to give her a chance to define what a girl - and ultimately, a woman - should be for herself.