If you're a single woman who is in the market for a great date, you may be wondering about how to successfully pick up men (or women), particularly if you've decided that you would like to meet someone the old fashioned way - i.e. in person and face-to-face. Once you spot someone you're interested in, it's time to consider what pick-up tactics work.
Many women shudder at the idea of hitting the dreaded single's bar, where the only thing you're guaranteed is to hear a bunch of cheesy pick-up lines, often with nothing to show but disappointment and a lack of quality meetings.
Best Places to Pick-Up Men (Hint: It's Not the Single's Bar)
Depending on your age and objectives, you may picture single's bars or dance clubs as the best places to meet men. You may think that all you need to do is throw on your sexiest outfit and head out, where you're guaranteed to pick up men all night. But your competition in these settings will be very high, and these dark, loud, and often smoky settings aren't conducive to figuring out if someone is right for you.
Some of your best chances for a successful pick up will happen in more organic settings, such as a dog park, the beach, a coffee shop, grocery stores, sporting events, or even the Laundromat. These places allow you to more easily strike up a natural conversation-about the weather, a pet, a book-instead of relying on tired pick-up lines that do nothing to showcase your brain, personality, or creativity.
Instead of meeting in a single's bar where everyone is busy trying to get noticed, you can actually spend time getting to know someone in a more natural environment, where you're both more likely to be relaxed and act like yourselves.
The best places to pick up men are often daytime venues and relaxed atmospheres, neither of which apply to single's bars or clubs. These settings also have the advantage of letting you see what the man is interested in, whether it's books, bikes, pets, or football. This helps you to hone in on men with whom you share similar interests or hobbies, generally making for a more pleasant experience for the both of you.
When you're relaxed, you're more likely to use natural body language and make eye contact, both of which are important factors when trying to pick up someone that you are interested in.
Flirting at the Park
A large public park-particularly one that allows dogs or has spaces for playing Frisbee, football or soccer-is one of the best places to meet men and employ some pick up tactics that work. If you spy a man enjoying time with his dog and think you'd enjoy time with him too, you're in luck. This is a great opportunity for flirting with a cute guy.
You can flirt naturally by telling him how you cute you think his dog is, openly showing affection by petting the dog and asking questions about the breed or age of his furry best friend. This can lead to a conversation about other things and gives you a chance to feel him out and see if there are any sparks between the two of you.
He doesn't have to have a puppy to get the conversation going. If you see an interesting man sitting on a park bench and reading, ask him about the book he's reading, and so on. Keep things casual and cool and you have a low-pressure way to show interest in someone new.
Flirting at the Beach
If you've got plenty of body confidence and a nearby body-of-water, you might want to consider the beach as a pick-up zone. But there's more to it than showing up in a bikini and hoping that a cute guy will happen to trip over your beach towel.
Grab a friend or two and head to the beach for a day of fun. And here's the key: actually have fun! Come armed with some piece of sporting equipment, a cooler full of cold water and snacks, and a great, open attitude.
If a man sees you having fun with your friends - playing Frisbee, paddle ball or sand volleyball - he's more likely to wander over and introduce himself. Likewise, don't be afraid to make the first move. If you see a good-looking man or group of men that are chilling on the sidelines, ask them to join your game.
Pick-Up Tactics That Work at the Coffee Shop or Book Store
Maybe you'll meet your next date when you're both at Starbucks and your eyes lock across a tall, non-fat mocha Frappuccino, or you both reach for the same book in the narrow aisles of a local book store. Yes, these situations are the stuff that romantic comedies are made of, but there's a reason that film cliché exists. You've practically got a built-in pick-up line at the ready. Comment on the drink he ordered, ask about the book he's holding, or offer to buy him a coffee.
Flirting at the Laundromat
Single guys need clean clothes too! Instead of plowing through this seemingly thankless weekly chore as quickly as possible, keep your eyes peeled for any cute guys who seem to be there by themselves. Scan their laundry basket for any signs of a girlfriend or wife-i.e., women's clothing-and don't be afraid to employ the tried-and-tested "Do you have any extra quarters/fabric softener/detergent/magazines?"
Yes, it's a pick-up line, but it's a practical one as well. If he doesn't bite, you can play it off by asking the person next to him for the same thing. If, however, he gives you a friendly smile, that's your cue to turn the request into a conversation. Start with something non-threatening ("I can't believe how quickly this stuff builds up. I swear, it multiples while I sleep.") and move the conversation along to something more interesting and non-laundry-related.
There is no guaranteed formula for flirting or mastering the art of the pick-up. The best thing that you can do is to act naturally and to have fun, no matter what you're doing or where you go. If you are relaxed and seem happy and easy-going, you're far more likely to attract the attention of single men who will want to get to know you better.
The pick-up tactics that work are the ones that are the most natural. Try a new hobby, or sign up for an intramural sport at the local parks and rec. The more active and engaged you are in your community and the more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to meet someone new and have the confidence you need to get their number.
Don't be afraid to approach someone who seems interesting. Just look for something to kick off the conversation (their book, their dog, their bicycle), smile, make eye contact and keep it cool. Most important? Be open and be yourself.