Today's Love Tip
There have been many studies debating whether it's "normal" for human beings to remain with one partner for a lifetime. Certainly, many people have done so and continue to do so. But when it comes to evolution, monogamy hasn't always been the... Read More
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How to Make Bad Sex Better

Who says there's no such thing as bad sex?

While most men might argue that bad sex is better than no sex or that beggars can't be choosers, that's honestly far from the truth. Sometimes sex just isn't memorable. The good news is that if you've found someone you really love (or like), it's possible to improve bedroom behavior.

Women's Complex Bodies and Men's Anxiety

Women's bodies are all so different. One woman isn't aroused in nearly the same way as another woman. This can cause a guy to feel inadequate in a new relationship because he has no idea what to do to please you.

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It's highly likely that your guy is using techniques that he successfully tried on other women. The problem is that it doesn't work on you.

If you're unsure on how to move forward without leaving your relationship in the dust, start by communicating with him. You don't want to make him feel awful by saying something like, "I really don't like what you do down there." Instead, try something like, "I would love to show you what gets me going if you want to watch."


Your guy will not object to this if he really wants to please you. He may even be thankful that you're finally giving him a clue about what he needs to do.

If you don't feel comfortable masturbating in front of him, then simply tell him what to do. Having better communication during sex can improve your overall sex life.

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Here's an example:

You guys are getting hot and heavy with some kissing, and his hand starts to creep down to your crotch. You immediately think the worst, because you know it's not going to be a good time with his rough hands that seem to have no control.

Instead of dreading what he is about to do, lay your hand on his and move it the way you like it and want it. Let go at times to see if he gets the hint, if he doesn't, lay your hands on his again to show him what to do again. You can even whisper, "I like it like this...more like this."


When His Penis Is Too Small

Unfortunately, not all men are as well-endowed as you want them to be. For this reason, you need to adjust the sex according to his size.

The best way to accommodate a smaller penis is to lie on your back in missionary position and bring your legs up as close to you as possible. This will help him penetrate deeply, increasing your sensation.

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If you can't bring your legs close enough to you, try to lie on your back or stomach and keep your legs together. When he penetrates you that way, it causes you to be tighter so you'll feel more of him.

When His Penis Is Too Large

Bigger isn't always better. This is especially true when you have a large guy with a petite woman.

To accommodate his large size, make sure you are lubricated enough from foreplay before penetration. Stay on top during intercourse. That way, you can control how deep his penis penetrates.


If he insists on being on top, communicate how far he can go so he doesn't hurt you. You can make him feel a lot better about himself by acknowledging that it's because of him being so large.

Spice It Up to Make Bad Sex Better

People in long-term relationships often think they can't have wild sex. They think because they have been with the person for a while that it's not supposed to be exciting anymore.

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This is simply not true and the reason why so many long-term couples have issues in the bedroom. You can always have wild sex, as long as you make it that way.

Try to bring in different sex toys, so you both can have fun trying them out. It's a perfect way to find out what each of you likes and increase sexual communication.

If you see something on television or a movie you want to try out, watch it with your partner to show him what you would like to do with him. He'll get excited seeing someone else in the moment and then want replicate it with you.


Everyone has fantasies, but not too many people share them, especially with their sex partners. Sharing your fantasies with your partner is one way to make bad sex better.

Scared that he'll think you are too much of a freak? Start with a fantasy that isn't too shocking first to see how he handles it. If he isn't too surprised by it, share a little more as you gain confidence in his reactions. Soon, you'll likely be able to spill out all the parts of your fantasies with the objective of making them come true.

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When Bad Sex Is a Symptom

Many people focus too much on a symptom of a problem, such as bad sex, rather than trying to identify the cause. Many times, the real issue is the relationship and not the sex.

When people are upset, resentful or not emotionally connected to their partners, sex will suffer. They won't feel like doing anything to increase sexual pleasure because they aren't interested in receiving pleasure from it.

To make bad sex better when there are relationship problems, you need to attack the problems outside of the bedroom first. When you develop a stronger bond in your relationship, your sex life naturally will improve.


It Takes Two to Have Better Sex

Making bad sex better involves getting your partner involved. If he is not willing to change because he's not interested in pleasing you as much as you want to please him, you may want to think about your relationship with him.

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Selfishness in the bedroom can sometimes overlap into the relationship, which can cause serious problems. Identifying the reasons why he doesn't want to please you will help you decide if you should move on to someone who is much more attentive to your needs and wants.


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The Best Places to Meet Your Next Date

On TV and in the movies, couples usually meet in some spontaneously romantic way. They run into one other by accident, lock eyes, and the scene cuts to the bedroom...or the altar.

Those of us who have been in the dating scene long enough know that such magical meetings are not the stuff of reality. Like every other achievement in our lives, meeting the right man usually takes dedication, hard work, and creativity.

Even for those of us who don't plan to take that long walk down the aisle anytime soon, aiming for a fun, fulfilling romance with a compatible partner is still important. Any woman will tell you that relationships in which the two parties share common values are more fun, more rewarding, and even more sexually satisfying.

So how and where do you meet your next great romance? Think common ground and personal connection.


In recent years, many women have grown tired of the usual spots and strategies for meeting guys. While many a fine relationship has begun at a club or bar, the consensus of late is that these establishments are better places to cut loose with your girlfriends than to meet the man of your dreams.

Whether you're interested in casual dating or looking to make a more lasting connection, there are plenty of options for you.

Women sometimes try to find a guy by attending adult education classes at the local community college or recreation center. Unfortunately, many of these classes are usually full of other women, with only a few men to be found. This is mainly because most women are interested in classes geared to female tastes.

Home Improvement Class

There are some exceptions, of course, but in general if a man is at a wine-tasting or pottery class, he's there to impress his significant other. Luckily, there are some classes men show up for in droves when nobody is forcing them to: DIY home improvement classes.


Most of the larger home improvement stores offer these learning opportunities to the public. By attending a home improvement class, you can learn how to take home repair into your own hands and maybe even meet the perfect assistant.

Get Active

Joining a sports team or a group that enjoys athletic activities is a great way to meet new people, including a possible love connection. Whether you're into bowling, hiking, bicycling, skating, or even mountain climbing, there are usually tons of groups (even in cities) that exist to bring people together through fun and healthy activities.

Joining a group that engages in physical activities together is a great way to stay fit, have fun doing something you enjoy, and meet people who share your goals and interests. Plus, all that sweaty activity is a great way to get your endorphins going!

Sports Bars

While the usual bar/club scene is difficult for making love connections, the sports bar scene is a different story. Sports bars offer a more down-to-earth, casual atmosphere and the guy-to-girl ratio is definitely in your favor. It's also a great option if you're more into watching sports than playing them.


At a sports bar you're on his turf which may help a shy or quiet guy to be comfortable enough to open up. Plus, all the male energy may be an exciting, energizing force for you. Kick back, order a cold beer and make sure to pay at least some attention to the game.

If you're looking for compatibility and a real connection, try looking for a date at locations where you're sure to meet someone with common interests.

Volunteering

Volunteering gives people a sense of satisfaction as well as a feeling of openness toward others. Combine this with the strong passion many volunteers have for their cause of choice and you'll have an excellent environment for romance to blossom.

Whatever the volunteer work entails, there is usually a need for people to co-operate and work closely together either physically or mentally. In that setting, you can gain a lot of knowledge about those you work with, especially any guys you may have on your radar. Is he compassionate? Does he work well with others? If he earns high grades on the "good guy" report card, you may want to make your move.


Spiritual Connections

Adults of all ages are renewing their interest in spirituality, whether by returning to the faith of their childhood, or by venturing out on their own chosen path to the divine. This increased focus on the spiritual element has led to more people seeking romantic connections in the places where their grandparents may have met: houses of worship.

This choice is best for those who are looking for a relationship with long-term possibilities. If the idea of flirting during evening prayers creeps you out, don't worry. Many houses of worship offer thriving singles groups and mixers to provide a more appropriate setting for the faithful to find love.

Events for Singles

Speed dating events and other singles-focused activities are a great choice for a woman who enjoys a more structured atmosphere for meeting a partner. When the question of whether someone is looking is already answered, there's room for direct conversations to determine compatibility. While the atmosphere is light-hearted, the attendees are definitely oriented toward meeting someone special.

When searching for your perfect match, don't discount traditional ways of meeting a guy. It's perfectly fine to meet someone through friends and family. Fix-ups (think of them as referrals) from people you love and trust can actually work. Or try the new classic: the Internet. Just remember to use reputable sites and follow basic online safety rules.


You can land a date for Saturday night, or even for many Saturdays after that. It may take some time, or it might be that eye-sparkling fairytale moment, after all. You never know until you try.

Sometimes you have to be your own fairy godmother, so get out there and work your magic.


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Best Aphrodisiacs to Spice Up Your Sex Life

If you're planning a romantic evening with your guy and you're wondering what you should serve, perhaps you should consider including a few passion-boosting ingredients on the menu. Not a fan of shellfish? Oysters aren't the only food reputed for their aphrodisiac qualities.

You don't need to go halfway around the world or break the law-for instance, by experimenting with ingesting tiger bones-to find the best aphrodisiacs to give your sex life a jolt. You can get a cart-full of carnality right at your local supermarket. Chances are some of the items you have in your home right now have been thought of as aphrodisiacs at some point in history.

The idea that certain foods and herbs have the ability to ignite or enhance sexual arousal has appeared in just about every culture. It's also an idea with a long history. Aphrodisiacs show up in the writings of ancient peoples from Greece to Rome to Babylon.

In modern times, we may dismiss aphrodisiacs as superstition or snake oil, but the connection between sex and certain foods persists. There may even be some science to aphrodisiacs after all. These days, Western medicine is discovering the validity of many ancient health theories.

This relatively recent focus on alternative and holistic medicine has allowed some alleged aphrodisiacs to be studied under the microscope of modern science, sometimes with surprising results.


While some of the traditional aphrodisiacs actually do contain vitamins, minerals, or naturally-occurring chemicals that can benefit the reproductive system, there's still little proof that they can create sexual desire in any given situation. Still, it's exciting to know that some everyday foods can indeed have at least some effect on your sexual functioning.

Researching aphrodisiacs can be a fun and informative diversion that just may end up helping your love life after all.

At first glance, the dishes that have been considered aphrodisiacs may seem to have been chosen based on their shape and texture. Foods like oysters and asparagus were thought to resemble and therefore symbolize the female and male genitalia, respectively.

Bananas fall into this category because of their phallic shape, and there are some studies that suggest bananas really can get a man's motor running thanks to an enzyme called bromelain. The jury's still out on whether bananas really work, but at around 49 cents a pound, it sure can't hurt to give them a try.

Now we'll go from the "why not?" cheap thrill to some aphrodisiacs you'll want to use only on your hottest seduction target. They may cost a bit more, but there's research to support their effectiveness.


Caviar, while a bank-breaker and an acquired taste, does contain high amounts of zinc which stimulates the production of testosterone. Although it's usually thought of as a male hormone, testosterone exists in females as well and contributes to the sexual functioning of both sexes.

Fine dark chocolate is pretty much the best-known aphrodisiac worldwide. It contains a naturally occurring stimulant as well as properties that produce feelings of satisfaction.

And don't forget the champagne! Like other alcoholic beverages, champagne relaxes you and lowers inhibitions. It's said that champagne affects women more strongly than it does men, creating a pleasant feeling of warmth and a sexy high. Don't overdo it though. While alcohol in moderation can help ease you into an evening of love, drunkenness is a mood killer that can interfere with sexual performance and pleasure.

If nothing else, the knowledge that you spent the time and money to arrange a meal of these delectable treats might be enough to turn your lover on.

Most spices that gained fame as love potions are those with strong flavor. Ancient cultures made a correlation between the warm sensations and flushed faces caused by a spicy dish and the similar experiences of sexual excitement. Spices said to have aphrodisiac qualities include:


  • Horseradish
  • Cloves
  • Ginger
  • Nutmeg
  • Thyme
  • Oregano

While it's unclear whether the small amount of spice used in one meal can produce any real aphrodisiac effect, many spices do contain beneficial natural components and using them regularly as part of a nutritious diet can improve your overall health, including your sex life.

There are plenty of aromatherapy theories regarding sexual desire as well. The scents of vanilla, orange, cinnamon, and chocolate are high on the list of olfactory aphrodisiacs. Many commercial perfumes and colognes feature these scents. Musk, a strongly scented animal oil, is also a traditional aphrodisiac put to use in bottled perfumes.

Many of our most desire-producing scents are those that have their basis in childhood or in our early romantic experiences. A woman can be affected by a whiff of her first love's cologne decades after the relationship ends.

Of course, the strongest aphrodisiac scent is one we can't even consciously detect. Pheromones are chemicals produced by the human body that play a role in attraction and mate selection. We smell, or rather sense, these chemicals with a special part of our olfactory system. This is why the natural body scent of someone we love can be so intoxicating.


One place that all aphrodisiacs can work is in the mind of the user. It's the old placebo effect, best summed up as "if you believe it will work-it will." There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of this great truth, particularly when it comes to aphrodisiacs. The most sensitive sex organ is the mind. If oysters, chocolate, or a spicy curry is served on a night of anticipated romance, it can very well help a couple to associate those flavors with arousal.

In a similar way, things like power, success, and self-confidence can be amazing aphrodisiacs that work from within. Getting a promotion, a lovely compliment, or other well-deserved accolades can make you feel like a sex goddess. No love potion required.


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