Sex can be exciting with your new guy for a while, but then it starts to get boring. Same position, same location, same time. What can you do to spice things up? Add some sex toys to the mix. Sure, the thought of sex toys can make even the naughtiest girl blush, but they can help you achieve pleasure like you've never felt before.
If you're looking to improve your sex life and give it that boost it needs, try out these 8 sex toys that every woman should own.
The Vibrator
The most common sex toy, the vibrator, is one that every women wants in her pleasure chest. Sure, it's basic, but it's a good toy to start out with, especially if you're experimenting with sex toys for the first time. There are many types of vibrators, and they come in many sizes. When choosing a product, look for one that is fairly quiet and effective in stimulating the clitoris area.
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You should also look at features such as the ability to adjust the intensity and speed. Many women hop all over The Rabbit vibrator because it creates sensation in the vagina as well as the clitoris. You can even buy a waterproof Rabbit, so it can be used anywhere you feel the urge.
The Couple's Vibrator
A couples' vibrator is a good choice if you have trouble experiencing orgasm during intercourse. A couple's vibrator is smaller than a regular vibrator and allows you just enough extra penetration to get the job done, so to speak. Its smaller size doesn't interfere with your partner's rhythm, and its vibrations may even enhance your partner's experience, guaranteeing a good time for both of you.
The G-Spot Wand
A G-spot wand is essential if you are looking for something like a vibrator but without the vibrating. A G-spot wand is made of heavy-duty stainless steel (used for hip replacements) and is curved for your added pleasure. It's perfect if you enjoy ample penetration. The NJOY Pure wand comes highly recommended on many websites. According to many users, the name says it all.
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The Silver Bullet
If you are more into clitoral stimulation, a silver bullet may be just what you need. A silver bullet is an egg-shaped metal device that is basic and cheap but definitely hits the spot. You use it directly on your clitoris and can adjust the pressure by using the attached remote. Definitely a hands-down favorite for many women!
The Cock Ring
How about a toy for your man? Aptly called the Big O Vibrating Ring, this device can help both of you experience greater sexual pleasure. Placed on the base of the man's penis before it becomes erect, a cock ring allows blood to flow into the penis but not outward.
This vibrating ring helps the penis sustain a harder erection and stimulates the clitoris during intercourse. Most are made of rubber or steel. Keep in mind that a cock ring must be sized carefully, or they can result in a too-erect penis, which can be painful and embarrassing, requiring a trip to the doctor. However, for those who use this toy properly, it is a fun way to enhance any sexual relationship.
Anal Beads
For those looking to experiment with anal sex, start with anal beads. Made of silicone, the beads come in various sizes, so beginners as well as pros can experiment with them. Just add some lubrication, and they can be used for both men and women.
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Lubricants
A little lubrication can definitely go a long way. Whether you're feeling dry as the desert down there or looking to experiment with anal sex, a lubricant is effective in increasing pleasure. Lubricant is a jelly used to replace or supplement a woman's vaginal lubrication.
In the past, oil-based lubricants were in demand. However, they created bacteria inside a woman's vagina. They also destroyed latex, making them impossible to use with condoms. Therefore, it is recommended to use water-based lubricants only. When used inside a condom, lubricants can make sensations even stronger for the man.
Interesting note: although most people use regular KY Jelly for sexual intercourse, KY Jelly is actually made for the medical environment and is not long-lasting. Therefore, you should choose another brand, one made specifically for sex, such as Astroglide or Aqualube.
The Blindfold
How about using something in the bedroom that's as simple and easily available as a blindfold? Probably not the kinkiest type of sex toy available, but a blindfold creates an element of surprise, which can be incredibly sexy. Imagine the excitement you will feel by not being able to see what your partner will do next. Blindfolds, especially silk ones, can make bedtime much more exciting and allow your imagination to run wild.
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One of the hurdles you may face when using sex toys is that your partner may disapprove of them. He may feel embarrassed or upset that he cannot satisfy you fully. He may view sex toys as a replacement for him. Therefore, it's important to let him know the benefits of you using sex toys. By using them, you are finding out what turns you on, where you like being touched and the intensity at which you enjoy it.
Sex toys can help you become more familiar with your body. If you can't pleasure yourself, then how can you expect your man to? You need to convince your guy that using sex toys will make your sex life better in the long run. They can spark your imagination and make sex much more fun and exciting every time.
Let's face it; achieving an orgasm makes a woman feel sexier, happier and more feminine. And what could be wrong with that? When you learn how to pleasure yourself, you're helping your partner in the process.
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You can show him where to touch you. It's OK to use objects other than your body parts to give you pleasure, so don't feel embarrassed or ashamed about using sex toys. Your sex life is private, and nobody needs to know what you do behind closed doors, except for you and your significat other.
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Are you and your partner worried about money in these uncertain times? During any economic crisis, couples have to face tough financial decisions. This can lead to an increase in stress and aggravate problems that already exist in your marriage.
As you look back to when you first met, what attracted you to your partner - fierce independence, strong character, a decisive nature? Now, these very same qualities may be getting in the way of getting along. If you want to come to terms with your negative feelings, notice what has changed in your marriage.
And try to see your own part in what's going on. If there's a glimmer of hope and you want to stay together, accept the challenge of turning it around. Some of these ideas can help you get started: {relatedarticles}
1. Identify your emotions. As a first step, write down the feelings that now regularly surface. And record what's happening between you and your partner when you are sad, scared, overwhelmed, embarrassed or frustrated.
Chances are you have emotions ranging from disappointment to anger, and these may be constantly changing. Don't worry - this is normal. Understanding what you feel, and why, can be the first step toward improving your situation.
2. Stop focusing on the past. Identify the hot button issues that are standing in your way and make efforts to resolve them. If you initiate changes, that can be an encouraging sign to your partner. And the sooner you let go of the past, the quicker you can move forward to improve the goodwill in your relationship. It may not be easy to forgive, but it is a gift you can give to your partner and yourself.
3. Limit your arguments. If the situation between the two of you is tense, small annoyances can seem worse than before. When you argue, allowing bad feelings to fester only makes it harder. Don't turn your quarrel into something more or attach your reactions to another issue.
Agree that you will together explore the problems. And spend time learning about conflict resolution, direct communication and active listening skills. There's information available through relationship workshops, the Internet and the self help section in bookstores.{relatedarticles}
4. Begin a process of serious talking. Can't do it alone? If you really want to work out your differences, consider consulting with a marital therapist or joining a couples' support group. When you understand more about the other's needs and capabilities, you'll be clearer about compromises you have to make.
Then it will be up to both of you to decide whether you're willing to do the hard work. That may include efforts to change your current expectations, redefine what marriage means to you and create new goals for the relationship.
5. Support each other. Instead of focusing on the negatives or going your separate ways, spend time discussing what you want from one other. Think about what would demonstrate true emotional commitment to you. Prove that you are on each other's side by deciding to change your attitude and behavior.
in your marriage's emotional bank account. Create excitement, pleasure and fun together - then take advantage of the dividends.{relatedarticles}
You and your partner are individuals who each have a mind of your own. What you want may have changed since you first tied the knot. And the present economic meltdown probably adds to the pressures in your relationship. But that doesn't mean you can't make shifts that will relieve some of the stress. And you don't have to accept the possibility of divorce. By taking the first steps, you can help strengthen your partner's trust in you - and the future of your marriage.
© Her Mentor Center, 2011
About The Author
Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. is a family relationship expert. Whether you're coping with stress, acting out teens, aging parents, boomerang kids or difficult daughters-in-law, I have solutions. Visit our website, http://www.HerMentorCenter.com to discover practical tips for dealing with parents growing older & children growing up and to learn about our ebook, "Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm." Log on to our blog, http://www.NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com and sign up for our free newsletter, Stepping Stones, and complimentary ebook, "Courage and Lessons Learned."
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