Today's Love Tip
Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of daily life, we can forget to reach out to those closest to us to let them know how special they are. When you give out a little love, you're sure to get some in return, so why not let your mate know how... Read More
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Habits That Can Make You Find The Right Love
Are you one of those men and women who have been single forever, or have been in an in-and-out of relationship since 1990? Well, this year is your year to stop all the tears and find the right love that suits you like a customized gloves. This is the year is your year of love and passion. There will be no more drama, no more hurt. This year would be like Valentine's Day whole year round. So what are you going to do right to be able to find your Mr. or Ms. Right? Well, all you need to do is to stop your bad habits that make you miss the right love.

 

Then, do the ones that make you attract the love that you wanted your whole life.{relatedarticles}

Be with the right friends/ group. This goes without saying that you need to move away from friends that are not really doing your style and going against your good energy. Friends should define you, complement you, and give you that "glow." When you go with friends that go against your vibe and keep you on your guard, it also keeps potential love away. This is because that sense of awkwardness and the negative energy from you for being with the wrong group of people manifests outside and repels true love.


Grow some standards. Know what you want and know what you value, and make this as the basis of your standards. But make sure that these are realistic standards. Having some standards means stopping your habits of one-night stands and hanging out with guys who only makes you feel bad about yourself. The more you spend your time with unworthy guys, the more you lose your chances of finding love.{relatedarticles}

 

Pamper yourself inside and out. This means giving yourself the importance you need. From taking time to have that latest hair cut, to getting a massage and a manicure, to enrolling to the gym, to buying that favorite bag, to not allowing other people step on your toes. Stop selling yourself short. Value yourself by not allowing abuse and degradation pass by you. When you exude that aura that you don't take crap from other people, you will earn that respect and love you deserve.


Love your work, love your job. This is about waking up every day and have that drive and enthusiasm to do that what you are suppose to do with gusto and passion. When you wake up every day with that energy, you are bound to attract the love that you want.

 

Cleaning up your past. People who move out from their hurtful past and move on from it with optimist is sure to find the love that they are yearning for all their lives. That is because getting over the past rids you of fear, bitterness, and ignorance that tethers you to have the time of your life. The prejudices and biases will all go away once you have learned to embrace your past no matter how painful it is.{relatedarticles}

Learn to laugh at yourself. This is about not taking yourself too seriously and enjoying life, no matter how fierce and unfair it gets sometimes. A person who sees the silver lining is always attractive and never fails to attract the right kind of love.

About The Author

The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook and learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.

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Can You Break His Bad Habits?

At the beginning of a relationship you tend to see only those things that are most endearing. It takes no effort to see only the best in your man. But a funny thing about relationships is that as they grow, the things you once found endearing become downright irritating.

Suddenly all of his bad habits are shining like a bright beacon and you are ready to snuff out the light. But can you really break his bad habits?

Is this really a bad habit?

The first thing you have to ask yourself is if what you are dealing with is really a bad habit or simply an annoyance. If it's not addressed, a bad habit could end up becoming a destructive force in your relationship. But an annoyance is something you can usually learn to live with.

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If you decide that something he does is just pesky, learn to let it go. We all have a way of rubbing someone the wrong way. All you have to do is ask him and I'm sure he will tell you about the things you do that annoy him.

If on the other hand you decide it's a deal breaker, then it's time to address it. How you go about doing this can mean the difference between a broken habit and a broken relationship.


One Habit at a Time

No one likes to be presented with a laundry list of all the things they do wrong. If you are going to deal with this once and for all, do it one habit at a time.

As soon as you start rattling off your list, he will immediately tune you out. Eventually he will move into defense mode. So determine now to tackle just one habit at a time, starting with the worst offense.

When you begin to see progress with one, then move onto the next habit. Approach each one with a desire to help him, not as a way to spotlight all his faults.

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Don't Nag; Ask Questions

Alerting someone to their bad habits can be a sensitive topic. So the way you approach it is important. Determine ahead of time that you won't nag.

Nagging makes the person feel like you are talking down to them. It comes across as demeaning or to some men, like nails across a chalkboard. It will almost always have the opposite effect of what you are trying to accomplish.


It's best to start off by asking indirect questions such as, "Why do you suppose you..." and then fill in the blank with the bad habit. Your question might take him off guard. It could be that he didn't even realize he was doing it.

Or he might not have known that what he was doing was a concern to you. By asking a question, you allow him the opportunity to think about a solution, instead of immediately feeling like he has to defend himself.

However you should also be prepared for denial. Some people just really have no clue they are doing something that has become a bad habit. If he denies it, be ready to give him specific examples.

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If you generalize his bad habits, it will be harder for him to see them as real issues. However, if you have concrete examples of behaviors you think are toxic, then he has a better chance to understand and make concrete changes that you can track.

When you share your examples, don't use it as an opportunity to vent. Talk in a calm and gentle manner. He will be more receptive to what you have to say.

At the same time, you want to express why his bad habit could be destructive to your relationship. If you are going to bring up what could be a sensitive topic, there should be a valid reason for it.


You should be able to clearly explain how it makes you feel. But be careful to not use words such as, "You do this" or "You make me feel," which will immediately put him on defense. Instead say, "I feel" or "It makes me feel."

Help Him Find Solutions

The idea isn't to open his eyes to a bad habit and then leave it at that. Be willing to help him find a solution.

Try to come up with realistic, helpful ideas. Telling someone to just stop doing something isn't a way to provide support and motivation. You should be willing to be part of the solution.

It could be that his bad habit is something he learned as a child. It may take a bit longer to overcome. Or it could be that his bad habit is simply a matter of changing one thing.

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For instance, you may have started to feel more like a maid to your man. He drops his dirty clothes wherever he happens to be standing at the moment. It's a bad habit that you aren't willing to put up with.

A simple solution might be providing a basket or laundry hamper in the room he most often gets undressed. If he doesn't have the tools available to change his habit, don't expect much progress.


Be His Accountability Partner

Once the bad habit has been brought to light, help him be more accountable. Not in a way that you are constantly bringing it up but in gentle reminders.

You should both decide on a reminder that won't be offensive. Using the dirty clothes as an example, instead of shouting, "There you go again, leaving your mess all over for me to clean up!" turn it into something more playful.

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Remember that bad habits don't change overnight. Expect him to slip up and at times even resist. How you react will determine how the situation plays out.

When it comes right down to it, no one can really break someone else's bad habits. If you try to exert your will over another person's life, it usually ends up backfiring. They have to be willing to make the effort, but you can be their biggest cheerleader.

 


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Are You A Sex Addict?

Hollywood A-listers like Tiger Woods, David Duchovny, and Jesse James have accidentally pioneered the acknowledgement of sexual addiction as a serious problem.

However it may appear in the tabloids, sex addiction is real and it can be the root of a number of problems that can affect the rest of your life. It may be the desire to constantly masturbate, watch porn, pick up strangers, and engage in sex at any opportunity.{relatedarticles}

Sex addiction can consume your life, and it may lead to complications in not only your relationship, but also your health, your work, your relationship with your friends and family members, legal trouble, and a general loss of interest in the rest of your life. If you do suspect that you are a sex addict, read on to find out what the tell-tale signs of sex addiction are.

You Experience Interruptive Thoughts about Sex.

If thoughts about sex or sexual activity are interrupting your day without provocation, that might be indicative of a problem, particularly if those thoughts push the bounds of decency.


If you're suddenly hit with the thought of what kissing, fondling, or having sex with a complete stranger, an acquaintance, a close friend, or a family member, you are experiencing sexually obsessive thoughts.

You've Been Leading a Double Life.

Do you have a lover on the side? Are you regularly cheating on your partner? Do you keep your sex life a secret from your friends and those around you? If you've been leading a double life to fulfill your own sexual desires, it may be a signal that you have a sex addiction.{relatedarticles}

While it's true that a number of people, both male and female, cheat on their significant others, a constant compulsion to do so isn't normal.

If you've been keeping your activities a secret from the people you care about the most, it begs one question - why? Why are you hiding what you're doing? If you know what you're doing is wrong but you can't stop yourself, you have a problem.

You are Constantly Looking for New Sexual Material

One of the markers of a preoccupation with sex is the compulsion to constantly seek out only media that is related to sex. This is different from the average guy (or gal) who watches pornography on occasion, reads sex articles, or looks at stimulating photographs. These are normal, natural human compulsions, and an interest in sex is not indicative of a problem.


On the other hand, if you are always looking for sex-related material to the exclusion of other things you may have a problem. Is your productivity at work suffering because you're browsing adult dating sites or reading steamy sex stories? That's another sign.{relatedarticles}

You Jeopardize your Relationships

We're not talking about just your personal relationship with your partner. A sex addiction can easily begin to interfere with your professional and social circles. Your deceptive behavior, necessary to cover up your sexual exploits, can put a strain on your friendships when your loved ones ask about where you are or what you're up to when you so frequently disappear by yourself.

Your stress over relationship conflict can lead you to indulge further in your sexual addiction, creating a dangerous whirlpool that can suck up your whole life.

You Feel Negatively about your Behavior

If you feel shameful about your behavior and have the impulse to hide it, you have a problem and you need to seek out help and support. Negative emotions are a common human experience, but if you're trapped in a cycle of being unable to withhold yourself from your behavior and then feeling remorse or depression about your actions, your psychological well-being is in jeopardy.


Sex addiction is not different from most other addictions, and your counterproductive behavior and hiding of it can destroy your sense of self-worth and lead you into a dangerous pattern of denial. It can also lead to guilt, depression, and even suicidal feelings.

When we do things that we can't restrain ourselves against, then hate ourselves because we can't help ourselves, we lead ourselves down a dangerous path of self-destructive behavior that can take hold of our lives and compromise all aspects of our life.{relatedarticles}

You Engage in Sexual Thrill-Seeking

You may be seeking out exciting encounters if you're not being satisfied or stimulated by having sex with the same partner, and what might be a one-off can quickly turn into a habit. You may be engaging in dangerous sex escapades with strangers, having sex in public or unusual places, and opening yourself up to potentially harmful situations.

If you find that you are never satisfied by having sex with your partner, your sexuality may be suffering. Constantly looking for new sexual thrills is often a hallmark of a sex addiction that has gotten out of control.


You Have Gotten in Trouble with the Law

If your dangerous thrill-seeking has led you down a destructive path, you might attempt having sex with prostitutes, having sex with minors, or engaging in exhibitionism.

These illegal activities can not only land you in legal trouble, but could also smear your public reputation and leave you outside the good graces of your friends, family, co-workers, and the general public (which tends to frown on these sorts of sexual exploits).{relatedarticles}

Other actions that might not necessarily be illegal but could still be offensive or indicative of a problem include indecent phone calls, dialing sex hotlines, or voyeurism.

When the compulsion to express your sexuality lands you in trouble, it's a sign that you might be a sex addict. Sex shouldn't be a legal issue, and if it's causing problems in your life, it could lead to a breakdown of your relationship with your partner or your relationship with others.

Not to mention, it could be terribly embarrassing to have your name spread all over local and social media channels.

If you're experiencing one or any of these symptoms, you may have a sex addiction. Fortunately, there is help available. Online websites and discussion forums are a good place to discuss your problem in anonymity. Always remember: the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem


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