Today's Love Tip
Loving or controlling? There's a very thin line between the two for some couples in which one partner is manipulative. It's fairly obvious when one partner is physically abusive in order to get what he or she wants. The use of violence is a... Read More
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Strip Club Etiquette: Learn the Ropes

You might think that just because you are entering a strip club that you can act the way you want. Sure, it is a place where the rules are a little more relaxed, but that does not mean that you can behave inappropriately or act outrageous. Here are some dos and don'ts when it comes to the world of strip clubs.

Do: Dress Appropriately

Sure, some venues let guests walk in with T-shirts and cutoff shorts. But if you are going with friends for a night on the town, then you want to wear something that is both comfortable and that you can sit down in. You will be taking in the sights, so you want to do so comfortably. Plus, you do not want to stick out in this crowd. People are here to see the strippers, not you, so try not to draw too much attention to yourself - either by the way that you dress or by the way that you act.{relatedarticles}

Don't: Be Loud and Obnoxious

There is one in every crowd, but do your best to avoid being that guy or girl. Even if you feel like you have had a bit too much to drink, rein it in as much as possible. You might think of it as a strip club, but it is a business - and it is a business that relies on repeat business from its clientele. Act professionally (considering the circumstances), and you will be asked to return again.

Do: Be Nice to the Bouncer

There is almost always someone at the door who either is taking cover charges or working to ensure that there are no brawls or unsightly guests making their way inside. Be nice to this person. He could be your ticket to better seats and better experiences. You might even want to consider tipping him so that you have an ally. Chances are that he can get you some pretty cool perks if you make nice with him.


Don't: Assume Anything

There are strip clubs that just offer chances for you to watch strippers, but there are clubs that allow much more. If you are unsure what type of services the strip club that you visit provides, then you will need to ask. Either check its Web site before you go or ask the bouncer or a manager once you are there. You do not want to be put in a situation where you thought you were getting more out of the experience than you actually can get. It can be embarrassing for all parties, and you might not be asked to return to the club.{relatedarticles}

Do: Ask What Everything Costs

In addition to making sure that you know what kinds of services you can get, you also want to know what everything costs. Again, most of this information can be found on the club's Web site, but if you do not get the chance to check beforehand, you should be able to talk to the manager or get a price list from someone at the club. This is particularly helpful if you are taking a friend out for a night of debauchery. You will want to know just how much you are paying for him to have an unforgettable experience.

Don't: Get Too Drunk

Yes, you want to have a great night and an unforgettable time - but the key word here is unforgettable. If you get too excited about your trip and drink just a little too much to relax, it could end up being way too much by the end of the night and you will have forgotten everything that happened. Plus, you may have caused a scene at the club, which no one wants. Instead, pace yourself so you can enjoy the night without having to ask your friends about it the next day.


Do: Get a Designated Driver

That being said, if you are going to drink, you should only have enough alcohol in your system to have a good time. Whether you are out with a few friends or a large group, you want to have a designated driver. Talk to someone at the club about the cab companies that they use frequently. Their recommendation can be helpful as the night wears on and you find that you cannot possibly get behind the wheel. You can always pick up your car the next day - sure, it is a walk of shame of sorts, but it is well worth it.{relatedarticles}

Don't: Try Any Funny Stuff with the Girls

This, of course, is unless you are at a club where this is welcomed. But for the most part, each service that is provided at these clubs costs money. If you simply walk in, sit down, watch a girl dance, and then try to touch her, you might risk getting kicked out. Look around the place to see what other guests are doing and how they are behaving. Fall in line with them, and you will be fine. Step out of line, and you could get into big trouble.

Do: Get to Know the Club's DJ

There are DJs at virtually all strip clubs, and they are the ones who are in charge of the music that is being played. You of course can make requests, but you also want to talk to the DJ to learn more about the place. Chances are good that he knows more than most people about the club and the types of services it provides - not to mention the overall atmosphere. He can be your best ally if you treat him right.


Don't: Skimp

These girls get paid for their work, and they get paid by people like you. Most of the women who work at these clubs rely entirely on tips. If you like what you see, then be generous. {relatedarticles}The days of dollar bills are being replaced by 10s and 20s. These women work hard for your enjoyment, so the least you can do is reward them for it.


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Passionate Sex: How to Overcome Boredom in the Bedroom

By Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.

Q: I love my husband, but somewhere along the line we've become more like friends than lovers. We had an amazing sex life early in our relationship but now we're lucky if we have sex once a month, and when we do it's pretty unremarkable. I really enjoy sex and I'd like to make it a regular part of our life again. Any suggestions?

A: First of all, you need to take solace in the fact that you're not alone with this problem. Most couples in long-term relationships note a marked reduction in the quantity and quality of sex as the years progress. When you're wrapped up in the heady euphoria of a new relationship, it's hard to imagine that the grinding reality of daily life can ever dampen sexual desire, but, voila! Here you are, years later, juggling kids and a mortgage and a new career, and sex just isn't a priority. And the first step in rejuvenating a lackluster sex life is the awareness of this natural ebb and flow.

Providing there aren't medical reasons for your dwindling sex life (if you're not sure, have a doctor check you out), there are some simple ideas you can incorporate into your life now that can help you and your partner resuscitate your sexual desire:

1. Prioritize sex.

Both partners need to make a commitment to nurture the physical aspect of the relationship. It's a big step to acknowledge that you've been neglecting passion. But once you do, you can begin having the discussions that will get you thinking about sex and eventually bumping it up on your list of priorities. There is no shame in saying, "Hey, we got caught up in life and left something behind that we really miss. Let's agree to openly and honestly work on this together."


2. Plan for sex.

Once you've both agreed to make sex a priority, it's time for some planning. You may be thinking: "Sex should be a spontaneous, natural experience. Planning for it will ruin the magic." Not at all! Quite the contrary: many of the most enjoyable, rewarding things we experience in life are things we must plan for. And when couples put effort into creating the time and space they need for physical intimacy, they temporarily take themselves away from the stresses of their hectic lives. This planned-for time and space actually allows spontaneity to flourish.

3. Plan for romance.

A word for some of you men out there (you know who you are): Planning for sex doesn't mean buying a new multivitamin and sprinting into the bedroom for a quickie. The type of sex that fosters a couple's connection occurs within the context of a loving, intimate relationship. When you nurture romance and make your partner feel special, you set the stage for an evening of passion and great sex. Romance doesn't have to be costly or time consuming (of course, it can if you want it to be). A sensual body massage with your partner's favorite lotion can go a long way in setting just the right mood for passionate love making. Pay attention to romance first, and sex will follow.

4. Become playful and provocative.

Couples in long-term relationships need to revisit the art of flirtation. Flirting and teasing are great ways to fan the flames of desire. Have you ever noticed how people in a new relationship excel at teasing? Whether seducing each other at the supermarket or while sitting at a red light, new lovers discover ways to turn each other on in the most ordinary of circumstances. Unbeknownst to them, these couples are actively creating opportunities to flirt and entice each other. Are you ready to enter the game of flirting with your partner?

5. Nurture your sexual attitude.

The art and skill of flirting starts with a particular attitude. The most important part of this attitude involves giving yourself permission to be playful and provocative with your partner. Without permission, you will remain inhibited and lose the freedom necessary to have a fulfilling sex life. Learn to give yourself permission to have fun with your partner.

6. Talk about sex.

Your assumptions about what your partner enjoys sexually might be standing in the way of a great sex life. You're both evolving--your partner's tastes in music, food, and clothes have probably changed over the years, so why do you assume that his/her sexual desires are the same as when you first met? Ask your partner what turns him/her on today. Don't assume you know (even if you believe you know your partner really well). Maybe there is something s/he would like you to try sexually that s/he would find exciting. Information about your partner's sexual desires and fantasies can go a long way in creating an exciting sex life.


7. Become less predictable.

Some couples fall into a rut because their sexual routines have become too predictable. While familiarity is comforting and helps build trust, it can also become a little boring when it comes to sex. Uncertainty and novelty feed excitement and can give your sex life an electrical charge. Experiment together (there are many good books available to help couples work on improving their sex life) and create a shared sense of adventure in the bedroom (or the living room, or the study...)

Is your relationship worth protecting? Are you ready to make your marriage everything it can be?

To discover more relationship tips, visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro's FREE Relationship Toolbox Newsletter. As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship" and "Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue before your arguments control you."

About the Author:

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich and his wife founded LifeTalk Coaching, an internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Passionate Sex: How to Overcome Boredom in the Bedroom


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10 REAL Reasons You're Sick of Sex
If you're sick of sex, you needn't feel alone. At some point in life, it happens to everyone. Why are you tired of sex? The reasons vary, and rest assured, whatever they are, there are ways to recapture or boost your interest in sex. Here are some effective ways to re-light your fire.

1. The exhaustion that accompanies many of life's events can cause a wane in your sexual desire. Whether you're working more hours, have a new baby in the house or have recently moved, it is normal that you are going to feel extra tired or too exhausted to have sex. Perhaps what you crave more is sleep!

To regain the spark, try re-framing how you think when it comes to sex. Rather than seeing it as perhaps one more "chore" to get out of the way, look at it as a wonderful way to relax, recharge your batteries and renew your energy. If you and your partner trade massages, bathe or shower together before getting intimate, play some soothing background music -- the experience of making love will relax and rejuvenate you both.

2. Check the emotional temperature between you and your partner. If the air is full of tension, if unresolved anger and resentment lie between the two of you, sex is not going to appeal to you! Choose a neutral moment when you both have time and are in a relatively good mood to calmly air grievances, communicate unspoken resentments and discuss what can be done to resolve or make peace with the situation.

When done with mutual respect, this kind of communication may be all that is needed to reignite that spark. If things are beyond what you can resolve without help, consider couples counseling for guidance.


3. Chronic illness and medications can drain a person of sexual desire. This is definitely an issue to discuss with your doctor. There are almost always solutions -- so don't wait to bring this up. The more time that passes without sex or the desire for it, the more apt you are to just accept the situation. Why deprive yourself and your partner of the joys of sex if you don't have to?

4. Sometimes, people run into a predictable pattern when they make love. Eventually, the pattern can become a boring rut. Time to shake up the routine if you want to regain your passionate spark for one another. Try new positions, new rooms in which to have sex, a few toys, or a weekend away every couple of months. A change of the how and where and even when you make love can make a positive difference.

5. Distractions can make you feel sick of sex when the real problem is being tired of the interruptions. This can lead to a "why bother" attitude. Turn off the TV, phones, and computers. If you have young children, perhaps grandparents would love to have them for a sleep-over on occasion. If your kids are older, keep a lock and a "do not disturb" sign on your bedroom door. Explain to them every couple's need for some alone time.

6. Too much busyness and not enough alone time can make sex less appealing. If you and your partner feel like strangers who just share an address, create opportunities and time to connect outside the bedroom. Make a kiss and hug several times a day the new rule. Go on a date several times a month. Set aside a chunk of time each day to do something together, even if it is to share the household and yard chores. Communicate and catch up with each other's lives during this time. Sit beside each other on the sofa like you did when the attraction was brand new.


7. Taking each other for granted is a sure libido killer. Have a chat with your partner or just plain set the example. As elementary as this may sound, use good manners. Say please and thank you. Smile often. Do thoughtful and unexpected things on a regular basis. Write your partner a short letter and send it snail mail. Imagine the surprise! If either of you is busier than usual, pick up the slack at home for each other. Take turns!

8. Poor body image can sap your desire for sex. If this describes your partner, offer reassurance that he or she looks good to you. Point out, with honesty, your partner's attributes in personality, talents, and physical assets.

If this describes you, get reacquainted with your own body. You are more than your perceived flaws. Look for your attributes instead. When there are changes either of you want to make in the realm of appearance, be supportive and accepting. Cuddle, hug, kiss, caress, and relearn how to enjoy one another on a deeper level than physical appearance.

9. If your partner is practicing anything but good hygiene, this can definitely make you sick of sex. Bring it up gently, but firmly. Put hygiene in the realm of good health. Clean teeth and skin are healthier teeth and skin. Body odors carry bacteria. Dirty clothes worn routinely are a turn-off to most people. Suggest a shower or a bath together. This form of contact can often lead to intimacy.


10. If you're sick of sex because your partner's ways in bed are awkward, lacking rhythm or even painful, speak up. Don't be afraid to say, "I love this, but that doesn't do anything for me." It is perfectly okay to speak out when you need more time or when you're getting sore from intercourse that drags on too long.

The next time you find yourself thinking that you're so sick of sex, replace those thoughts of memories of the times when sex with your partner was over the top, exciting, revitalizing, and left you wanting more. Rekindle your own sexuality by trying new ways of thinking, new healthy ways of taking care of yourself.

It will be like the first time all over again and again and again.


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