Jon Gosselin: Literary God?

Who knew he could even spell??? Father of eight Jon Gosselin is once again whining about how he got gypped of a childhood by becoming a dad to twins at 23 and sextuplets at the tender age of 27, only this time he's doing it in black and white. Following in the footsteps of ex-wife Kate, Gosselin is now posturing himself to become a bestselling author with A Slice Of Life: Jon Gosselin's Story. And while Kate's book may have been on the New York Times' bestseller list, we bet the only place Jon's book becomes a bestselller is in the dollar store. Of course, everybody is wondering exactly how much Ed Hardy-donning, chain-smoking, Bluetooth-wearing, cradle-robbing can one fit in between those pages? Jon's life coach Sylvia Lafair likely knows the answer because she's helping Jon weave his tale from unknown dad to reality television star and tabloid fixture. Lafair tells Radaronline.com: "The book is about having eight kids all at once when he was under the age of 30." Oh, woe is him. Hopefully, he also discusses how he managed to blow through $75,000 an episode. Lafair goes on to say that the book also focuses on the d-bag dad's struggle to maintain the relationship with his family, "It includes some of the lessons that Jon has been learning with helpful hints on how he is working to reframe his relationship with his family, including his two brothers and his mother. It also explores how the death of his father affected him." Basically, it's an insightful look into the mind of a serial idiot, a literary work that's sure to be chilling for women everywhere. But anyone who knows Jon knows that there's a good chance that his book may also toe the line between fiction and fairy tale, although he'll brand it an autobiography. Lafair points out that Jon hired her to guide him through her six-month leadership program. Among the costs are $10,000 soul-searching missions into the mountains. Kind of costly for someone out of work, but hey, who's counting? Apparently not Jon. As part of his personal restructuring Jon has also gotten a giant dragon tattooed across his back that includes the name of his latest teen bride, some 23-year-old Pennsylvanian named Ellen. According to Lafair, Jon's never been better. Says Lafair, "Watching him is like a vaccination that's taking effect." Actually, it's more like watching a rabid animal.