I Spy Something Stupid

Having been kicked off MTV's The Hills for being too angry, reality villain Spencer Pratt is looking for a new way to channel his aggression - and he wants to take it out on cyber terrorists. In a recent interview with the Washington Examiner, Pratt says he's got his sights set on the White House. Although it's not in the capacity as the nation's leader, he's got some pretty lofty ambitions for a complete and total loser. Pratt supposedly enrolled at American Defense Enterprises to fight Internet crime, and by fighting crime, we're guessing that likely means he's looking at porn all day. Not surprisingly, Pratt wants to take his show on the road and start a new reality series called Cyber Spies, which he says will be a realistic version of 24 where he would act as a real-life Jack Bauer. "I was the biggest fan of '24' but there was such fakeness; I don't believe any American agent would chop off anybody's head. Waterboarding would do the trick." Well, if anybody would know about faking it, this Hills star most certainly would. Pratt said he did have some concerns about the idea of moving forward with a career in cyber-crime fighting. Says Pratt, "My friends had medical marijuana issues, so I was always worried about secondhand smoke, so I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I'm never going to be the director of the CIA,' but now I hear they recently changed that policy, and I think that they may have done that just so people like me who had friends in high places could still fit into the politics of the intelligence community." Of course, to be a part of the intelligence agency you have to have intelligence...which Pratt is obviously lacking. To prepare for his potential job, Pratt and wife Heidi are supposedly moving to Costa Rica where he'll read "hundreds of books." Pratt said he's already networking to find a job, "I definitely am reaching out. Like a stalker."