The Pros and Cons of One-Night Stands

I don't know why any feeling person would want to have a one night stand. When I was a divorced man in my 30s I had a few one night stands, but never intentionally. I learned that most divorced women of a similar age would not go out with me a second time if I didn't try to make love, so I made it a point to try. Some just wanted to feel desired, and I accepted their rejection without pushing, but most said yes.

My philosophy is that it makes no sense to get rid of a good thing. If we made a connection, I would continue ask her to go out whether we made love or not. One woman and I had a lot of fun for almost a year until she moved, but neither of us saw the other as the right match as a life partner. After more than 25 years we are still friends, but no longer lovers. You can't always make a friend, but it is great when you can. It's so much better to share your pa*sion with someone when you care for each other, even if it's just as friends. Votes: +9

I'd rather masturbate. No fear of pregnancy or STD. Votes: +11

What no one tells you about is the HPV 16 & 18 virus which can and does give you oral cancers in forms you never thought possible. THe sinister part of this disease is you can not know about it for up to ten years AFTER exposure! It is a brutal, ravaging cancer that when caught early, will respond well, but you can easily reach stage four before being diagnosed with it. I was lucky. I only lost my voice, all my teeth and my ability to eat solid foods. Some lose their entire lower jaw, their tongues, or both. THis comes from oral sex. Something you just might want to try on that 'one night stand' and ten years later, not even remember it or who or even why. You just know you now have throat cancer and could very easily die from it. Treatments are very rough. THe outcome could easily be as I mentioned above. THink I am off base? Google oral sex and HPV 16 & 18. Can't cure stupid. Votes: +19

Yeah, my wife tried this when we were engaged, when we went out to dinner together she had a quickie in the parking lot. I found out after she married me, had four children and now I hate her. Votes: +10

Good advice to whomever wants to behave like an idiot. Votes: +7

Let's be honest here. If it weren't for one-night stands, some people would never have sex at all. A few experiences probably won't hurt you, but the more you do it, the greater the risk. Don't make a habit of it. Votes: +1

If this were a men's "how-to" on how to bang as many hot chicks as possible, there would hardly be any men objecting to it. Funny how the morality flies out the window when men's sexuality is encouraged. But all of a sudden the double standardsd and insecurities arise if a woman so much as even considers having the audacity to have more than one sexual partner in her life. The word "virgin" gets thrown around. How many of you men are virgins, or were virgins before you got married? How would you like to be held to the same strict standards? After all, its women that you're having sex with, unless your gay. Keep in your pants, just like you encourage women to keep their legs shut. Because it is equally appalling to know that the man I want to spend my life with has been with numerous women before me, that is a turn off too! And it is also interesting how mature we can act about sexuality, but when somebody gets a disease, now all of a sudden we're all prim, proper and holier than thou. You don't have to be promiscuous to get a disease. You can get a disease from someone who got a disease with the one other person they had been with.Too many hypocrites out there whose policy is to "do as I say not as I do". Votes: +20

I am sitting in the lounge waiting for all you women, I have std,s and can be pretty rough. I also lurk at wedding receptions and singles parties. I am all for delivering my personal dna into your body....you will never see me again. Still think the one night stand is for you? a few drinkis and you will be ready to go.... i am waiting, a six pack and good looking, my smile and personality will win you over. You will pay for it the rest of your life. good luck Votes: +11

Having grown up in the sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll era, I believe I speak from experience: DON'T DO IT ! When you settle for less than you are worth, You ARE worth less. The chance of disease, pregnancy, murder victim, gossip, and bad reputation, and loss of self respect are high. Is getting laid really worth all of that? The writer is full of bad, immoral advise. Love yourself enough to wait for the right guy. If you value yourself, someone who is just like you will find you and cherish you. Get out of the flesh and into the spirit. God does not like s**ts, but He always will be there for you when you value Him enough to value yourself. Shalom Votes: +14

There is conspicuously no author to this article. The author must know it's terrible. I couldn't even read the whole first page, because it's so ridiculous. I skipped to the last to comment. I'm pretty sure the author is a man...who has no understanding of women. A wishful thinking delusional man. Votes: +4

Go looking for sex with strangers, end up on the news. Votes: +5

What a STUPID article. HOw about DEAD as a con? OR, rest of your life ruined by something incurable. I hope someone sues the crap out of you for your cheap stunt to get advertising dollars. Your liable for what you print you know. Votes: +3

If you don't think it's ok for your mother or daughter to do it, then it's not ok for you to do it. So how would you feel if your mother or daughter were going out having one night stands? Votes: +3

this article could be retitled "how to be a w***e"
one rule says for a woman to enjoy herself while having a one night stand, for her not to worry about being considered a s**t, but isn't that what she would be considered if she have very many one night stands, and get this, the very next rule after "don't worry about being a s**t", it the rule that says be sure to do it with strangers rather than people you know, so women, the article suggests that you have spontaneous sex with strangers who you have no feelings for whatsoever, but don't think that makes you like a w***e or s**t...duh? wake up women, these values are not liberating, they make you less respectable Votes: +3

Any person who indulges in anonymous hook-ups and then thinks that they are not going to transmit weird and negative signals to future life partners who actually love them is naive. That's the problem - you become what you do - you can hide the "facts", but not the emotional changes that make you cold and distant, unable to be satisfied with any particular partner - and it always shows to those who really care about you. For gals: not usually too concerned with guys sewing their oats before settling down : the problem, these guys are ( after the honeymoon ) usually not, if ever, satisfied, because any sexual problem is easier to solve by changing partners - that's what they know ! For guys : if having a life partner with lots of anonymous sexual experience was "hot", they'd all be lined up to settle down with prostitutes- sorry, with rare exceptions, this just doesn't happen. Votes: +8

Explore your inner w***e! Votes: -4

Is the author a S L U T ? Votes: -4

I thought the article was fine. It was the comments that blew me away. I don't even really know where to begin. So I'll start with the one about men and women not being the same. I've got news for you: not all women are the same either. Some women CAN handle unattached sex. On the other hand, some men can't. The author of this comment was displeased about everyone being lumped into one big bucket, but seemed more than happy to lump everybody into TWO buckets and be done with it. Odd. Moving on to the comment that tells us that sex only belongs in a committed relationship. Maybe that is true for the writer of the comment, and if so that's fine. But who is he/she to judge everyone else and tell them what sex should be for in their lives? No one, that's who. Really, I could go on, but I won't. If I were female, the responses to this article would make me want to go bang ten random strangers just out of spite. Votes: +1

Like women even need advice on how to be approachable for a one night stand. LOL Votes: +6

Just call me if you need a one night stand. I'm a great liar, I will make you feel all the things you are missing, since i don't have to put up with your fu**king bulllsh**t everyday and get nagged about all of your problems and your luggage you never unpacked. You will probably look into your fiance's eyes and see me, because I am not real. You will want me more, maybe even send another love letter to validate your transgression as a w***e. You will never be able to learn to work on relationships and communication and trust because you are so into yourself you just want instant satisfaction and then to forget. I'm okay with it if you are, lets do some shots, blow me and f**k me and leave. That's what I pay addicted, diseased hookers for and hey you might even buy me a drink or bring over a bottle of wine. Don't even bother to understand what makes two people respect each other because after I break it off in your a** I can sleep with your friend tomorrow because she feels insecure after reading this article, too.

Votes: +8

No wonder sexual transmitted diseases are so out of control!
Not only are people not respecting others! They do not even respect themselves...
Can't people understand sexual devience also creates monsters who think sexual pleasures condone uncontrolled behaviours against human beings!
What is needed is self control whereby our society will love one another. Votes: +5

The writer definitely in trying to justify this behavior has surely partaken of it ,,,,, making her a w***e and a s**t. Also....in the event she ever wishes to enter into a meaningful relationship with a "decent" man ,,,,, her past s**t like behavior, if learned, will most likely be a deal breaker. It surely would be for me. Sex with an unknown intoxicated individual is both irresponsible and dangerous. The article was written by a pig, plain and simple. Votes: +4

The never-ending orgy of the mangy feral cats and other vermin in the alley. Women who lower themselves to this should recognize that their partners in this septic squalor are the losers, ne'er-do-wells, no-hopers and fringe dwellers who have zero character and zero self esteem. They wallow as many of these s**ts as possible who in turn try to get wallowed by the largest variety of scum possible. When a man of character and worth comes along these females expect him to, in effect, join the ranks of the dozens or hundreds of cr*p-humans who have been her "undocumented husbands" and just put out of mind her freakishly degenerate past. Votes: +6

This article about one night stands reminded me of people like Casey Anthony. Votes: +6

With all due respect to the writer (or writers) of this piece, if you can convince me that one-night standers can build a lasting civilization, I might rethink my views. Same thing with cheaters and gamblers, etc. But you can't, because progress we've already built can only be sustained by walking on that straight and narrow path. Am I being old-fashioned? Too religious? Don't think so. Analyze why nations truly fall, and it's mostly a consequence of moral decadence. Why do you think the Greeks are in a deep hole, and we Americans are on the brink of crashing in a big way? It may not happen overnight, but wrong is wrong and right is right, and treating sex ever casually sooner or later brings woes, even disasters. Do you think AIDS is like a headache which can be rid of with a pill? Loneliness or depression like a toothache that can be cured with a side trip to a dentist? You know better than that, my friend. Ah, we humans just can't seem to get it squarely in the face, which we should look at more often in front of a mirror—very honestly.
Why not writer articles that wake people up to reality, and so better all of us? The truth, whether it hurts or not, always sets one free. We're much more than animals.
Have a great and wonderful life, you all! Votes: +4

AND YOU LADIES THINK YOU ARE WINNING?? Votes: -3

Women that do this are idiots. Have some self-esteem, and some self-respect. You have nothing to prove. I am a guy and I have no interest in doing this, or being with a woman who does.

Demented people write this crap to boost their own egos and line their pockets at the expense of other peoples lives and consciences. There's a reason people feel guilty and awkward after these encounters.

Stop being animals and stick to being human beings. Votes: +15

This article puts on display the culture that is destroying this country. The family is the glue that holds society together. Without the family, no one is left to fight for, and tyranny can take hold. Sex is a bond between the married. To reduce it to recreation makes the bond impermanent, and marriage and family are disposed, and so are our freedoms. A truly evil bit of writing. Votes: +12

Whatever happened to the beauty of love? Now it's all about the booty and lust. Do we not think that our prized possession is a prize anymore? What about a one life stand? How about that? Votes: +3

Did Madonna write this? I blame her for the total destruction of girls/women's morality starting in the 80s. She is the most highly worshiped s**t in the history of the planet. Votes: -1

Who wrote this mindless trash! It is obviously not a Christian, moral person. Sounds like a lonely 20 something to me. I am happy I raised my daughter to have more respect for herself than the author. Suggest you take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror Ms. Hookup. Votes: +4

Disgusting.. What a trashy article all-around. Don't need to say much more than that. If you need to look into the pros and cons of having a one-night stand, you probably shouldn't be having one.

BTW, doubt you'll get what you're looking for. Funny how the author's name isn't here, isn't it? If it is, I could care less looking for it if it isn't on top or bottom of work. Votes: +4

Clearly written by a girl rated no higher than a "5 out of 10" (that being very generous) having issues with self-respect. Getting with random guys make "you feel like the sexiest woman" alive. Haha! Yeah - that's the secret. Go bang some random stranger and you'll feel sooo very good about yourself. How about, realize you aren't and that the guys don't give one damn about you except for a little spot down below. Grow up, you dog. You are vile to this world. Learn to respect yourself and someone else and then maybe you'll feel like the sexiest woman alive to SOMEONE. Votes: +4

Terrible piece. It should be titled "how to be a s**t and make yourself feel like you are not one!!" Seriously people, this is a terrible bit of advice. Why can't we get a piece about how to have committed monogamous relationships. Or how to marry the right person for you. This is sad. Good luck with your empty, selfish and unfulfilling sexcapades. I hope no one takes this serious. Votes: +6

American women wonder "Why don't guys respect me? Why can't I find a decent guy?" Well duh, first a woman must respect herself to find a guy that will respect her. Second, a woman must be decent to find a decent guy. Almost all men will shag a scank but those men will not respect themself for doing the scank and they certainly will not respect the scank afterwards. Votes: -4

Great advice for women!! I really, REALLY hope they listen to and practice it. It will result in many fewer sexually frustrated women AND men. Thank you for writing something so realistic and truthful despite all the "morals" idiots that don't understand that the only thing immoral is hurting another person. Votes: -4

I am so glad my thoughts rise beyond "don't worry, you will never see him again." Are you kidding me? Really? There is so much more available to us. We need to lift ourselves up, look higher, not settle for a fake relationship along with our 500 fake 'friends'. Having joy and satisfaction in our relationships requires we experience it in our daily lives. Success lives within our daily habits. Its so stereotypical modern day American twenty something to think microwave happiness. The author needs to be replaced with someone more qualified to offer advice on living a royal life worthy of a woman. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Votes: +6

A Dude,
I guessing by your post that only idiots have morals. Or are you saying that intellectuals have no morals? So you'd rather have a society where there is no right or wrong and you don't have to worry about consequences.
Let's have more unwanted babies to abort, more deadbeat dads, more children growing up without any love or guidance.

BTW, everyone has a right to their opinions even immoral intellectuals like yourself. Votes: +2

The long and short of it is that tramps have one night stands. If you do it, you have to live with yourself. Once it is done, you can't take it back....EVER. Votes: +5

Sorry to be a bit crude, but I think I'll tell it like it is on this one. It's not to say none of have made the mistake of having a one-night-stand, because I'm sure some have, and have felt badly about it. I'll tell you one thing, however, before I go searching for a stranger to go somewhere private with and risk my safety, my health, or my heart, I'm far more inclined to buy rechargeable batteries. A lot safer, and much less of a headache, I'm sure. Votes: +10

As a man I want to respond to some comments. It is a myth that a man's sexuality is less connected to his emotions then women's are. Men who do one night stands are doing it for the same reason women do; they are engaging in a futile fantasy because 'real life' has left them emotionally unfulfilled.

The difference between men and women regarding their emotions in this area is the same as every other area of life; the masculine ideal requires some display of callousness or lack of sensitivity. Nothing reinforces this ideal more then the fact that women buy into it as much as men do. The fact that men learn this role can change many of them, but their healthy human emotions are still always a factor even if it gets a little hard to see sometimes. Votes: +11

Uhm . . . need to rate this article. Got anything less than one star? Votes: +5

Ppl who have one night stands are ho's or man ho's with no sense of morality at all. They are nothing short of animals that can't control their urges and wait for the right one. All are tramps, male or female. Votes: +2

Well one night stands, benifit usually 1 person(not always the guy) ....
I have seriously had more than the "average" players number of, "Meet,F@#k,Dump" Woman. I mean Woman, not neccessarily the ones I experienced, generaly Woman just want to do it more with "no strings."

W.C.Z. Votes: -5

Garbage like this is the reason our youth are morally bankrupt! Votes: +5

Where can I meet you, Kim? Votes: +1

I'm a guy, and I disagree with all this non-sense.....The only thing that is accurate in the article is that it depicts what a s**t looks like perfectly.

I don't date s**ts, and I will never marry one.
Votes: +2

"Keeping it strictly-stranger can help you avoid problems and embarra*sing run-ins." Really? That's interesting. Because I have a friend whose aunt apparently decided, after a few drinks, to engage in a one-night stand with a stranger she met in the bar of the hotel where she was staying. Guess where she ended up: in a cornfield, hacked to pieces after being stabbed to death. You see, the stranger she had the misfortune of hooking up with was a married man w/kids who had just lost his job earlier that day. He obviously chose to take out all his anger & frustration over his situation (and likely, at himself and his failure) on this woman he'd just met - a woman who foolishly accompanied him to his hotel room after an evening of drinking.

Then there was the story of an aquaintance who went home w/a guy she met at her local bar. She was fortunate enough to not be murdered; she was "only" raped when she apparently reached a point where she didn't feel comfortable going any further, but the guy wasn't about to take "no" for an answer.

Lastly, let me tell you about my best friend, who wasn't even thinking about a one-night stand. She just went to the home of a man she met through an online dating website because he was going to cook her dinner. I warned her beforehand about going to the home of an essential stranger (she'd exchanged e-mails and phone calls with him, and had had one date in public prior to this.) But she just laughed at me, dismissing my "prudish", overly-cautious mentality, stating that this man's son was also going to be there. Guess what - she was extremely blessed to have not been raped; she made it home with only a few bruises on her arms from him grabbing her when he wanted more out of the date than she was prepared for.

The bottom line is not about morality or being a prude. THE FACT REMAINS that women ALWAYS have to be concerned about the possibility of being physically harmed (or worse) when involving themselves with strangers. You men who think you agree with the author about the "sexiness" of one-night stands, keep in mind how risky this is for women, and think of how you would feel if you learned that your sister, daughter, mother, cousin, or aunt had been harmed or murdered because they engaged in a one-night stand.

And you women who dismiss the rest of us as being prudish, or think that it could never happen to you, just wait. Your time may come, and it will if you choose to engage in such foolish & potentially dangerous behavior as this article recommends. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones who walks away from such an encounter with "just" an STD or pregnancy. But you really need to ask yourself if it's worth putting your health, your physical safety, or even your life at risk, just for a moment of "fun". Votes: +11

Some reality checks: I have a friend whose aunt apparently decided, after a few drinks, to engage in a one-night stand with a stranger she met in the bar of the hotel where she was staying. Guess where she ended up: in a cornfield, hacked to pieces after being stabbed to death. Apparently, the stranger she had the misfortune of hooking up with was a married man w/kids who had just lost his job earlier that day. He obviously chose to take out all his anger & frustration over his situation, himself & his failure on this woman he'd just met - a woman who foolishly accompanied him to his hotel room after an evening of drinking. He stabbed her to death, then drove to the local Walmart to purchase some coolers & an axe. He returned to his hotel room, where he proceeded to chop her body up, put her in the coolers, and dumped her body in a cornfield outside of town. Keeping it "strictly-stranger" didn't exactly help this woman "avoid problems and embarra*sing run-ins"; it ended her life.

Then there was the story of an acquaintance who went home w/a guy she met at her local bar. She was fortunate enough to not be murdered; she was "only" raped when she apparently reached a point where she didn't feel comfortable going any further, but the guy wasn't about to take "no" for an answer. I guess he didn’t subscribe to the author’s line of reasoning that "Just because you started something with a guy doesn’t mean you have to finish it.” So much for the “great exercise in pushing your personal boundaries and creating new life experiences to do something out of the ordinary and challenge yourself." Votes: +0

Please, ladies! You are FAR TOO VALUABLE to treat yourselves so carelessly as this article recommends! Votes: +3

This kind of thinking only starts to make sense if you believe that there isn't a God who we are accountable to. And I realize that a lot of people don't believe in God and sin against God. Don't let guilt affect you, they say. I wonder where they think guilt and conscience originated form.
Votes: +0

first article about the pros of having a one night stand. interesting Votes: +2

Not all women are alike and some do very much enjoy anonymous sex. With that said this article is a blueprint for DANGER. Never get in a strangers car applies to 13 year old as well as a 23 year old. Votes: +7

As a man, I've never respected male friends or other men that had one night stands--I do know that loose men are celebrated in some parts of our culture though. Women shouldn't be trying to "catch" up by being loose women, they should decry the loose men instead of trying to be loose women. Sure I think everyone has the fantasy where they can have guilt-free, and risk-free sex with strangers; but that's where it should stay IMO--fantasy. Votes: +6

I've had several one night stands, some with protection and when she lets me, without protection ;) I can tell you after words my ego is sky high. I LOVED them, no strings, no emotion just raw pa*sion. I did luck out because without protection it's russian roulette but I'm happily married now so it's all good. Great memories though of waxing that a s s. Votes: -4

As a retired psychotherapist with LOTS of both ethical professional counseling, and years of personal sexual experience. (I quit counting at about 80.) I can tell you with absolute confidence that this article is a load of pure ****. One night stands are NOT a situation where "one size fits all." Many women (and men) are emotionally fragile and near the edge, while others are tough sociopaths who can handle unlimited sexual experiences as easily as taking a walk. Whoever wrote this article needs to do in-depth research or seek professional help themselves. This misinformation shouldn't be on the internet. Votes: +13

To Fritz, N/A, and all the other men who are in favor of one-night stands: maybe you wouldn't be as "pro" for them if there were more Aileen Wuornoses in the world. In short, sure, one night stands are great as far as guys are concerned - they don't have to worry about the possibility of being beaten up, raped, or murdered. And the women who choose to subject themselves to such potentially dangerous situations all for the sake of momentary thrill really ought to seek professional counseling to find out why they have such a death wish. Votes: +3

@Al: I appreciated your professional perspective; I also found your choice of words interesting. I always thought the expression "casual sex" was somewhat of a misnomer, and that "sociopathic sex" was more accurate. Votes: +0

ok, the article forgot a few cons, like the high probability of really bad sex, or he could turn out to be a sadist. And do you really want a guy with something like herpes sticking his tongue in your mouth. Votes: +2

DUH...I think you may have skipped a REAL drawback to one night stands.

How about stranger rape and murder? Votes: +2

A good friend of mine, now a middle-aged woman, had a history when she was younger of going to bars and ending up in one-night stands; when I asked her why she did it, she said that at the time she was feeling so poorly about herself that she didn't think she deserved anything better. Also, her first sexual experience was in college when she was date-raped, which was very traumatizing for her and I'm sure contributed to her later behavior. In fact, I think a lot of this loose behavior by both women and men originates in earlier traumas, very often from childhood, such that they're now trying to cover up or run away from the feelings and sensations produced by the trauma by escaping into sex. What these people need are understanding and healing, not judgments of being s**ts or w****s as evidenced in many of the comments here. Votes: +4

Thanks for bringing this porn out of the bedroom and into my living room. I guess next you will be sliming up my kitchen.
And remember well, my children, that before it can become a lying green piece of slime, it first has to lie. Votes: -3

What a stupid, poorly written article. I hope that nobody paid the "writer" for this piece of crap. Votes: +2

for writing this terrible article. The cons are much more than the risk of STDs and pregnancy.

Also, there are no pros to these kinds of relationships. Votes: -2

Wow! Advice on acting like garbage here on a supposedly rational website? If this this "love the one you're with" attitude is so prevalent, no wonder we see the characters on Maury and Springer etc. who have no problem bringing four men on the show to find out who's the father because "I want to do what's best for my baby" when what would have been best was keeping they're legs closed. Votes: +2

This type of drivel is a direct result of the feminist movement in America. Somehow the cultural Marxist's in our society have made it "cool" for our sisters and daughters to be promiscuous, never thinking about the consequences. I'm a 40 year old male, with a good job, nice house and am reasonably good looking. The past 4 women I have been in a relationship with (lasting from 1 to 4 years each) has had far more partners than I have had. The most recent one was ten years younger(i.e. 30 years old). She had more partners in the year before me met than I had had in the previous ten years. Just because it's easier to get laid as a female, doesn't mean you should do it as much as possible. Forget what you see on TV or the internet, have some self-respect. Men may like the "w***e" they see on the internet, but trust me, they want to marry "the girl next door". Votes: +2

Hedonism is alive and well. There was a time when sex was seen as something special, but according to this article, sex is nothing more than an activity that makes you feel good. If it feels good, do it. The only sin is believing that what your doing is a sin. How does a person some to be so morally bankrupt as this author? Votes: +0

I hope the same men who are throwing around the labels "wh0re" and "$1ut" realize that the same standard holds true for them. I can't speak for all women, but I have little respect for and no interest in a man who has practiced (or practices) promiscuity.* My commitment is & has always been to remain celibate until marriage, and while it's sadly unrealistic to expect to find adult male virgins these days, I have no interest in being with a male wh0re either. *interesting side note: Webster's defines promiscuous as having more than one sexual partner, while another online dictionary gives a far broader & more liberal definition of having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners. I tend to agree with another commenter that the second definition goes beyond promiscuity into sociopathic behavior. Votes: +3

Ironic that so many of the commenters discuss the decay of civilization (I a*sume a Judeo Christian set of beliefs) yet use dehumanizing names and slang terms for those who do things different than what they think they should. Even for those few who are not hypocrites and not done something similar one time or another, where is the “love thy neighbor” and “thou shalt not judge”? Votes: +5

Obvious moral arguments aside, I think the number one issue here is a woman's personal safety. And the fact that the article totally bypa*sed such an important point leads me to believe the author is a misogynist. I just can't believe that a feminist in her right mind would encourage women to devalue themselves by needlessly endangering their lives for the sake of "sexual freedom." Would she really have women potentially sacrifice their lives just to prove a point? Because unfortunately, the only point it would ultimately prove is that women are fools for handing over their most precious possession (their lives) to someone who has not yet proven to be trustworthy. And frankly, only a selfish, untrustworthy, misogynistic man would expect a woman to take such a foolish risk.

Women are no less valuable than men; unfortunately, the bottom line is that men and women are NOT always equal, especially when it comes to one night stands. Men rarely (if ever) have to fear for their personal safety, while sadly, women almost *always* have to be concerned for theirs. I don't know about other women, but I value my life too much to risk it just to make a statement or prove a point. Votes: +4

The overwhelming cases of violence against women is done by men the women already know (partners, friends, family). The idea a date with a relative stranger or even one night stand is going to increase your chances of such an event relative to going out with a man they know (particularly when you add alcohol) is a huge misconception among young women in particular. Life is full of risks and people sense of security is often very out of step with their decisions. Sex with a condom with a stranger is MUCH safer than sex without a condom with someone they know a little, or even well. Votes: -1

The overwhelming majority of cases of violence on women are by men they know--partner, friend, family, etc. Like is full of risks, and dating a man, particularly with alcohol, carries a risk and it is false security to think since I know him a little or even a lot I won't be at risk. It is safer to be on guard a little and have condoms ready with someone you don't know well or at all (e.g., one night stand) than too relaxed and not use protection with someone just because you know them. Votes: +2

I don't know what is more perplexing: that the author is advocating promiscuous behavior, or that the author felt the need to write a "how to" article on the subject. Votes: +2

*sigh* what a relief to see the comments on here that say just what a stupid article and pathetic attempt at writing a story. Just really amateur stuff all across.

I love the comment about never seeing that person again and the writer states it so 'matter of factly' really you've never run into anyone you've know, ever?! This person obviously doesn't live in the real world and this article feels like it's not coming from someone who's experienced in these social situations Votes: +3

Women need to value themselves.
ONSs are of no value and can produce numerous consequences...you get the picture.
Votes: -1

grow up, all you puritan commentators who are so perfect. good, decent women do this more than you would think. i met a very nice person on vacation asking her to spend the afternoon and then dinner together which wound up becoming a great night together. she flew out the next day and i never saw her again. she was smart, nice, fit, attractive, kind, well rounded. we both hadn't dated since long term relationships ended for us and we found comfort/fun in each other's arms. it was really really good sex too (with a morning second time to match) like we'd known each other for decades...so put that in your puritan pilgrim hats and eat it. we lay together for hours talking after great sex and she said she hadn't had that in ages and felt so good. i felt the very same thing. and can you puritans handle that she laughed with her hands on her face after sex because he had more orgasm in 2 hours than in 10 years. and several more after morning sex that almost made her late for plane because she didn't want to leave? are you plugging your ears and holding your nose when i tell you she said it was the first time she had orgasms with just straight intercourse in her entire life? i happen to be a very nice person as she was and professional, well rounded, not at all a player or dirt bag so get your heads out of the gutter that one night stands for women are with dirty men, losers, just looking to get off for perverted pleasure. many women have really good one night stands and for you puritans (who would fit in afghanistan because you can't handle the thought of women having fun without society's judgement)... well, maybe you ought to get a little wide-eyed that the world spins in ways you don't have any clue about. there was a sexual revolution (good or bad who knows) because for centuries the puritans ruled with their stoning of women who dared have fun like the men might. the author just gave advice that many good women already use to get a night of pa*sion that may not be as horrible as you seem to think. many many women endure sexual and physically abusive marriages for decades at the hands of men they took a vow with and perhaps gave their virginity to. and she clearly noted the dark side or potential nasty bits everyone should seriously consider. she in no way glorified it or made it seem like the best thing ever. you puritans jumped on her because she pointed out it might actually be fun and liberating for some women. the woman i met felt like someone i knew back home that i would have dated for sure. we bonded quickly and sex was a great ending to our 24 hours together. i'll remember her forever with nothing but a smile and satisfaction. not a single negative or regret. the morning sex she initiated has me sure she feels the same way. so go finish off your bag of chips and stop being so judgmental as if you've got life all figured out perfectly. go be miserable not having any great adventures in your life to look back on. you people remind me of a great-aunt i had who was a nice lady but, man, was all kinds of kooky with her ideas on how females should behave. and married to a boozer who couldn't have been much of a lover. sex between strangers can be beautiful as it can be for long time lovers and spouses. that freaks you out, doesn't it...puritans. go take your negative venom and dumb preaching to iran where you'd fit right in. Votes: +3

I read the title of an article from one of those mags at the checkout. "you've had the affairs the one-night stands and the abortions, now why can't you get a nice guy to court you?" Duh! Votes: +2

Why not get paid? If you are into allowing men to objectify you, then you can make good money? Real good money if God has blessed you with a healthy, well proportioned body and a nice face. So plug into that most ancient of underground economies and gratify yourselves with some cold, hard cash to compliment your cold, hard hearts. Votes: +2

Yes, follow the advice in the article. America needs more pigs**ts. Votes: -1

Unbelievable! Get lost with that! No wonder men don't want to get married. Votes: -1

I couldn't even finish the article but advocating this kind of garbage is why our society is crumbling. What chance do lifelong relationships have, with all their work and sacrifice, if a perpetual 17 year old high school boy mentality is the new social norm for adults? What a horrible, narcissistic, sick article. Humans reduced to farm animals. Votes: +0

what a bunch of uninformed idiotic closeminded bigoted comments. Votes: +0

I remember the last one night stand i had it was sex in the back seat and for some reason she starting saying she loved me. kinda odd but didnt let it ruin the moment. Votes: -3