The Pros and Cons of One-Night Stands

Great advice for women!! I really, REALLY hope they listen to and practice it. It will result in many fewer sexually frustrated women AND men. Thank you for writing something so realistic and truthful despite all the "morals" idiots that don't understand that the only thing immoral is hurting another person. Votes: -5

I am so glad my thoughts rise beyond "don't worry, you will never see him again." Are you kidding me? Really? There is so much more available to us. We need to lift ourselves up, look higher, not settle for a fake relationship along with our 500 fake 'friends'. Having joy and satisfaction in our relationships requires we experience it in our daily lives. Success lives within our daily habits. Its so stereotypical modern day American twenty something to think microwave happiness. The author needs to be replaced with someone more qualified to offer advice on living a royal life worthy of a woman. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Votes: +7

A Dude,
I guessing by your post that only idiots have morals. Or are you saying that intellectuals have no morals? So you'd rather have a society where there is no right or wrong and you don't have to worry about consequences.
Let's have more unwanted babies to abort, more deadbeat dads, more children growing up without any love or guidance.

BTW, everyone has a right to their opinions even immoral intellectuals like yourself. Votes: +3

The long and short of it is that tramps have one night stands. If you do it, you have to live with yourself. Once it is done, you can't take it back....EVER. Votes: +6

Sorry to be a bit crude, but I think I'll tell it like it is on this one. It's not to say none of have made the mistake of having a one-night-stand, because I'm sure some have, and have felt badly about it. I'll tell you one thing, however, before I go searching for a stranger to go somewhere private with and risk my safety, my health, or my heart, I'm far more inclined to buy rechargeable batteries. A lot safer, and much less of a headache, I'm sure. Votes: +11

As a man I want to respond to some comments. It is a myth that a man's sexuality is less connected to his emotions then women's are. Men who do one night stands are doing it for the same reason women do; they are engaging in a futile fantasy because 'real life' has left them emotionally unfulfilled.

The difference between men and women regarding their emotions in this area is the same as every other area of life; the masculine ideal requires some display of callousness or lack of sensitivity. Nothing reinforces this ideal more then the fact that women buy into it as much as men do. The fact that men learn this role can change many of them, but their healthy human emotions are still always a factor even if it gets a little hard to see sometimes. Votes: +12

Uhm . . . need to rate this article. Got anything less than one star? Votes: +6

Ppl who have one night stands are ho's or man ho's with no sense of morality at all. They are nothing short of animals that can't control their urges and wait for the right one. All are tramps, male or female. Votes: +3

Garbage like this is the reason our youth are morally bankrupt! Votes: +6

Where can I meet you, Kim? Votes: +1

I'm a guy, and I disagree with all this non-sense.....The only thing that is accurate in the article is that it depicts what a s**t looks like perfectly.

I don't date s**ts, and I will never marry one.
Votes: +3

"Keeping it strictly-stranger can help you avoid problems and embarra*sing run-ins." Really? That's interesting. Because I have a friend whose aunt apparently decided, after a few drinks, to engage in a one-night stand with a stranger she met in the bar of the hotel where she was staying. Guess where she ended up: in a cornfield, hacked to pieces after being stabbed to death. You see, the stranger she had the misfortune of hooking up with was a married man w/kids who had just lost his job earlier that day. He obviously chose to take out all his anger & frustration over his situation (and likely, at himself and his failure) on this woman he'd just met - a woman who foolishly accompanied him to his hotel room after an evening of drinking.

Then there was the story of an aquaintance who went home w/a guy she met at her local bar. She was fortunate enough to not be murdered; she was "only" raped when she apparently reached a point where she didn't feel comfortable going any further, but the guy wasn't about to take "no" for an answer.

Lastly, let me tell you about my best friend, who wasn't even thinking about a one-night stand. She just went to the home of a man she met through an online dating website because he was going to cook her dinner. I warned her beforehand about going to the home of an essential stranger (she'd exchanged e-mails and phone calls with him, and had had one date in public prior to this.) But she just laughed at me, dismissing my "prudish", overly-cautious mentality, stating that this man's son was also going to be there. Guess what - she was extremely blessed to have not been raped; she made it home with only a few bruises on her arms from him grabbing her when he wanted more out of the date than she was prepared for.

The bottom line is not about morality or being a prude. THE FACT REMAINS that women ALWAYS have to be concerned about the possibility of being physically harmed (or worse) when involving themselves with strangers. You men who think you agree with the author about the "sexiness" of one-night stands, keep in mind how risky this is for women, and think of how you would feel if you learned that your sister, daughter, mother, cousin, or aunt had been harmed or murdered because they engaged in a one-night stand.

And you women who dismiss the rest of us as being prudish, or think that it could never happen to you, just wait. Your time may come, and it will if you choose to engage in such foolish & potentially dangerous behavior as this article recommends. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones who walks away from such an encounter with "just" an STD or pregnancy. But you really need to ask yourself if it's worth putting your health, your physical safety, or even your life at risk, just for a moment of "fun". Votes: +12

Some reality checks: I have a friend whose aunt apparently decided, after a few drinks, to engage in a one-night stand with a stranger she met in the bar of the hotel where she was staying. Guess where she ended up: in a cornfield, hacked to pieces after being stabbed to death. Apparently, the stranger she had the misfortune of hooking up with was a married man w/kids who had just lost his job earlier that day. He obviously chose to take out all his anger & frustration over his situation, himself & his failure on this woman he'd just met - a woman who foolishly accompanied him to his hotel room after an evening of drinking. He stabbed her to death, then drove to the local Walmart to purchase some coolers & an axe. He returned to his hotel room, where he proceeded to chop her body up, put her in the coolers, and dumped her body in a cornfield outside of town. Keeping it "strictly-stranger" didn't exactly help this woman "avoid problems and embarra*sing run-ins"; it ended her life.

Then there was the story of an acquaintance who went home w/a guy she met at her local bar. She was fortunate enough to not be murdered; she was "only" raped when she apparently reached a point where she didn't feel comfortable going any further, but the guy wasn't about to take "no" for an answer. I guess he didn’t subscribe to the author’s line of reasoning that "Just because you started something with a guy doesn’t mean you have to finish it.” So much for the “great exercise in pushing your personal boundaries and creating new life experiences to do something out of the ordinary and challenge yourself." Votes: +1

Please, ladies! You are FAR TOO VALUABLE to treat yourselves so carelessly as this article recommends! Votes: +4

This kind of thinking only starts to make sense if you believe that there isn't a God who we are accountable to. And I realize that a lot of people don't believe in God and sin against God. Don't let guilt affect you, they say. I wonder where they think guilt and conscience originated form.
Votes: +1

first article about the pros of having a one night stand. interesting Votes: +2

Not all women are alike and some do very much enjoy anonymous sex. With that said this article is a blueprint for DANGER. Never get in a strangers car applies to 13 year old as well as a 23 year old. Votes: +8

As a man, I've never respected male friends or other men that had one night stands--I do know that loose men are celebrated in some parts of our culture though. Women shouldn't be trying to "catch" up by being loose women, they should decry the loose men instead of trying to be loose women. Sure I think everyone has the fantasy where they can have guilt-free, and risk-free sex with strangers; but that's where it should stay IMO--fantasy. Votes: +7

I've had several one night stands, some with protection and when she lets me, without protection ;) I can tell you after words my ego is sky high. I LOVED them, no strings, no emotion just raw pa*sion. I did luck out because without protection it's russian roulette but I'm happily married now so it's all good. Great memories though of waxing that a s s. Votes: -5

As a retired psychotherapist with LOTS of both ethical professional counseling, and years of personal sexual experience. (I quit counting at about 80.) I can tell you with absolute confidence that this article is a load of pure ****. One night stands are NOT a situation where "one size fits all." Many women (and men) are emotionally fragile and near the edge, while others are tough sociopaths who can handle unlimited sexual experiences as easily as taking a walk. Whoever wrote this article needs to do in-depth research or seek professional help themselves. This misinformation shouldn't be on the internet. Votes: +14

To Fritz, N/A, and all the other men who are in favor of one-night stands: maybe you wouldn't be as "pro" for them if there were more Aileen Wuornoses in the world. In short, sure, one night stands are great as far as guys are concerned - they don't have to worry about the possibility of being beaten up, raped, or murdered. And the women who choose to subject themselves to such potentially dangerous situations all for the sake of momentary thrill really ought to seek professional counseling to find out why they have such a death wish. Votes: +4

@Al: I appreciated your professional perspective; I also found your choice of words interesting. I always thought the expression "casual sex" was somewhat of a misnomer, and that "sociopathic sex" was more accurate. Votes: +1

ok, the article forgot a few cons, like the high probability of really bad sex, or he could turn out to be a sadist. And do you really want a guy with something like herpes sticking his tongue in your mouth. Votes: +3

DUH...I think you may have skipped a REAL drawback to one night stands.

How about stranger rape and murder? Votes: +3

A good friend of mine, now a middle-aged woman, had a history when she was younger of going to bars and ending up in one-night stands; when I asked her why she did it, she said that at the time she was feeling so poorly about herself that she didn't think she deserved anything better. Also, her first sexual experience was in college when she was date-raped, which was very traumatizing for her and I'm sure contributed to her later behavior. In fact, I think a lot of this loose behavior by both women and men originates in earlier traumas, very often from childhood, such that they're now trying to cover up or run away from the feelings and sensations produced by the trauma by escaping into sex. What these people need are understanding and healing, not judgments of being s**ts or w****s as evidenced in many of the comments here. Votes: +5

Thanks for bringing this porn out of the bedroom and into my living room. I guess next you will be sliming up my kitchen.
And remember well, my children, that before it can become a lying green piece of slime, it first has to lie. Votes: -2

What a stupid, poorly written article. I hope that nobody paid the "writer" for this piece of crap. Votes: +3

for writing this terrible article. The cons are much more than the risk of STDs and pregnancy.

Also, there are no pros to these kinds of relationships. Votes: -1

Wow! Advice on acting like garbage here on a supposedly rational website? If this this "love the one you're with" attitude is so prevalent, no wonder we see the characters on Maury and Springer etc. who have no problem bringing four men on the show to find out who's the father because "I want to do what's best for my baby" when what would have been best was keeping they're legs closed. Votes: +3

This type of drivel is a direct result of the feminist movement in America. Somehow the cultural Marxist's in our society have made it "cool" for our sisters and daughters to be promiscuous, never thinking about the consequences. I'm a 40 year old male, with a good job, nice house and am reasonably good looking. The past 4 women I have been in a relationship with (lasting from 1 to 4 years each) has had far more partners than I have had. The most recent one was ten years younger(i.e. 30 years old). She had more partners in the year before me met than I had had in the previous ten years. Just because it's easier to get laid as a female, doesn't mean you should do it as much as possible. Forget what you see on TV or the internet, have some self-respect. Men may like the "w***e" they see on the internet, but trust me, they want to marry "the girl next door". Votes: +2

Hedonism is alive and well. There was a time when sex was seen as something special, but according to this article, sex is nothing more than an activity that makes you feel good. If it feels good, do it. The only sin is believing that what your doing is a sin. How does a person some to be so morally bankrupt as this author? Votes: +1

I hope the same men who are throwing around the labels "wh0re" and "$1ut" realize that the same standard holds true for them. I can't speak for all women, but I have little respect for and no interest in a man who has practiced (or practices) promiscuity.* My commitment is & has always been to remain celibate until marriage, and while it's sadly unrealistic to expect to find adult male virgins these days, I have no interest in being with a male wh0re either. *interesting side note: Webster's defines promiscuous as having more than one sexual partner, while another online dictionary gives a far broader & more liberal definition of having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners. I tend to agree with another commenter that the second definition goes beyond promiscuity into sociopathic behavior. Votes: +5

Ironic that so many of the commenters discuss the decay of civilization (I a*sume a Judeo Christian set of beliefs) yet use dehumanizing names and slang terms for those who do things different than what they think they should. Even for those few who are not hypocrites and not done something similar one time or another, where is the “love thy neighbor” and “thou shalt not judge”? Votes: +6

Obvious moral arguments aside, I think the number one issue here is a woman's personal safety. And the fact that the article totally bypa*sed such an important point leads me to believe the author is a misogynist. I just can't believe that a feminist in her right mind would encourage women to devalue themselves by needlessly endangering their lives for the sake of "sexual freedom." Would she really have women potentially sacrifice their lives just to prove a point? Because unfortunately, the only point it would ultimately prove is that women are fools for handing over their most precious possession (their lives) to someone who has not yet proven to be trustworthy. And frankly, only a selfish, untrustworthy, misogynistic man would expect a woman to take such a foolish risk.

Women are no less valuable than men; unfortunately, the bottom line is that men and women are NOT always equal, especially when it comes to one night stands. Men rarely (if ever) have to fear for their personal safety, while sadly, women almost *always* have to be concerned for theirs. I don't know about other women, but I value my life too much to risk it just to make a statement or prove a point. Votes: +5

The overwhelming cases of violence against women is done by men the women already know (partners, friends, family). The idea a date with a relative stranger or even one night stand is going to increase your chances of such an event relative to going out with a man they know (particularly when you add alcohol) is a huge misconception among young women in particular. Life is full of risks and people sense of security is often very out of step with their decisions. Sex with a condom with a stranger is MUCH safer than sex without a condom with someone they know a little, or even well. Votes: -1

The overwhelming majority of cases of violence on women are by men they know--partner, friend, family, etc. Like is full of risks, and dating a man, particularly with alcohol, carries a risk and it is false security to think since I know him a little or even a lot I won't be at risk. It is safer to be on guard a little and have condoms ready with someone you don't know well or at all (e.g., one night stand) than too relaxed and not use protection with someone just because you know them. Votes: +2

I don't know what is more perplexing: that the author is advocating promiscuous behavior, or that the author felt the need to write a "how to" article on the subject. Votes: +3

*sigh* what a relief to see the comments on here that say just what a stupid article and pathetic attempt at writing a story. Just really amateur stuff all across.

I love the comment about never seeing that person again and the writer states it so 'matter of factly' really you've never run into anyone you've know, ever?! This person obviously doesn't live in the real world and this article feels like it's not coming from someone who's experienced in these social situations Votes: +4

Women need to value themselves.
ONSs are of no value and can produce numerous consequences...you get the picture.
Votes: +0

grow up, all you puritan commentators who are so perfect. good, decent women do this more than you would think. i met a very nice person on vacation asking her to spend the afternoon and then dinner together which wound up becoming a great night together. she flew out the next day and i never saw her again. she was smart, nice, fit, attractive, kind, well rounded. we both hadn't dated since long term relationships ended for us and we found comfort/fun in each other's arms. it was really really good sex too (with a morning second time to match) like we'd known each other for decades...so put that in your puritan pilgrim hats and eat it. we lay together for hours talking after great sex and she said she hadn't had that in ages and felt so good. i felt the very same thing. and can you puritans handle that she laughed with her hands on her face after sex because he had more orgasm in 2 hours than in 10 years. and several more after morning sex that almost made her late for plane because she didn't want to leave? are you plugging your ears and holding your nose when i tell you she said it was the first time she had orgasms with just straight intercourse in her entire life? i happen to be a very nice person as she was and professional, well rounded, not at all a player or dirt bag so get your heads out of the gutter that one night stands for women are with dirty men, losers, just looking to get off for perverted pleasure. many women have really good one night stands and for you puritans (who would fit in afghanistan because you can't handle the thought of women having fun without society's judgement)... well, maybe you ought to get a little wide-eyed that the world spins in ways you don't have any clue about. there was a sexual revolution (good or bad who knows) because for centuries the puritans ruled with their stoning of women who dared have fun like the men might. the author just gave advice that many good women already use to get a night of pa*sion that may not be as horrible as you seem to think. many many women endure sexual and physically abusive marriages for decades at the hands of men they took a vow with and perhaps gave their virginity to. and she clearly noted the dark side or potential nasty bits everyone should seriously consider. she in no way glorified it or made it seem like the best thing ever. you puritans jumped on her because she pointed out it might actually be fun and liberating for some women. the woman i met felt like someone i knew back home that i would have dated for sure. we bonded quickly and sex was a great ending to our 24 hours together. i'll remember her forever with nothing but a smile and satisfaction. not a single negative or regret. the morning sex she initiated has me sure she feels the same way. so go finish off your bag of chips and stop being so judgmental as if you've got life all figured out perfectly. go be miserable not having any great adventures in your life to look back on. you people remind me of a great-aunt i had who was a nice lady but, man, was all kinds of kooky with her ideas on how females should behave. and married to a boozer who couldn't have been much of a lover. sex between strangers can be beautiful as it can be for long time lovers and spouses. that freaks you out, doesn't it...puritans. go take your negative venom and dumb preaching to iran where you'd fit right in. Votes: +4

I read the title of an article from one of those mags at the checkout. "you've had the affairs the one-night stands and the abortions, now why can't you get a nice guy to court you?" Duh! Votes: +3

Why not get paid? If you are into allowing men to objectify you, then you can make good money? Real good money if God has blessed you with a healthy, well proportioned body and a nice face. So plug into that most ancient of underground economies and gratify yourselves with some cold, hard cash to compliment your cold, hard hearts. Votes: +2

Yes, follow the advice in the article. America needs more pigs**ts. Votes: -1

Unbelievable! Get lost with that! No wonder men don't want to get married. Votes: +0

I couldn't even finish the article but advocating this kind of garbage is why our society is crumbling. What chance do lifelong relationships have, with all their work and sacrifice, if a perpetual 17 year old high school boy mentality is the new social norm for adults? What a horrible, narcissistic, sick article. Humans reduced to farm animals. Votes: +0

what a bunch of uninformed idiotic closeminded bigoted comments. Votes: +1

I remember the last one night stand i had it was sex in the back seat and for some reason she starting saying she loved me. kinda odd but didnt let it ruin the moment. Votes: -4

Yet another example that society is degenerating at every level.
There is nothing empowering about a woman sleeping around, but unfortunately this is the message that people are being fed from an early age - especially by the media-industrial complex that is literally 'pimping' little teenage girls to sell merchandising crap (and as soon as they hit 17 or 18, lo and behold the naked pics and sex videos are 'leaked', in an effort to transition them to appeal to an adult audience and remain financially viable). Votes: +1

Knitting together the future of man and woman is love,
a fidelity and common interest that is also friendship.

The bond that draws a man and a woman together,
in the first place is friendship.

It is their friendship that they have decided is so profound and precious,
that they have pledged to show it in a way,
they will not to anyone else.

It is their friendship that they deem so important,
that they ask the Lord to give them a lifetime,
of grace through the joining to preserve it.

The conjugal friendship, as the only kind of friendship,
that allows for a closeness so complete.

That one of its proper activities is to love the other with one's body,
is the sole species of human friendship that has its own sacrament.

The solemnity of a sacrament is the only befitting means,
to treat a friendship of this seriousness.

For incarnate beings as we are,
who are fusions of body and spirit.

The act of loving another with one's body
has enormous significance.

Because our bodies are inseparable from our spirits,
the act of of loving with one's body,
invariably means that one's whole self-spirit, too-is involved.

That is why casual sexual union is so demeaning and damaging.

We are not people who can offer our bodies alone.

Our spirits always tag along.

Our incarnate nature gives us the possibility of loving another,
so completely that the love itself will become flesh in a new life.

It is no wonder, then,
that a phenomenon so powerful encompa*ses our whole selves,
body, mind, heart, and soul.

Moreover, it is right,
that a union that entails such complete self-giving,
should be exclusive.

We can have a number of friends,
but we can give ourselves completely only to one. Votes: +0

Who is the 'brain-dead' fool idiot who wrote this piece of trash? Whoever it is, I'll guarantee you they couldn't light 25 watts on a good day. As a licensed California Marriage & Family therapist, I'll will tell you it is this kind of utter 'crap'- two-bit advice thaqt ruins people's lives and I have 27,000 hours of counseling and 30 years of experience to back me up. FORGET this article. Hopefully the nut-case who wrote it won't be revealing their stupidity again anytime soon. Votes: +0

One word......HERPES ! Votes: +0

The trouble with most one night stands is that they are fueled by alcohol (or drugs) and this leads people to do things they will later regret. Do whatever you want, but only if you REALY ant to. And you can't know if you realy want to when you are drunk. If you can't do it cold stone sober, you probably shouldn't be doing it. If you can, go ahead. Votes: +5

WHO WRITES THIS SICKENING PUKE TRASH !!! There is nothing PRO about this ! One night stands hold a lifetime of bad memeories, regrets possible DISEASE, trust flushed down the toilet and a host of other things that should be despised and looked down on,... As a married man of almost 20 years with two beautiful kids and a FAITHFUL and loving wife I would NEVER dream of screwing this up for some BIMBO,.... YOu people really need to get a life and find God because apparently you have NO MORAL COMPa*s what so ever ! PRO'S TO A ONE NIGHT STAND, YEA RIGHT ! I THINK YOU BETTER STOP SMOKING CRACK, WHAT A BUNCH OF DOUCHBAGS WHO WRITE THIS CRAP, AND IDIOT FRIGGIN PEOPLE WHO LISTEN TO THEM !!! HAVE NICE DISEASE !! BY THE WAY AFTER YOU SCREW SOME BIMBO DON'T FERGET OT TELL YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND,
" HONEY I LOVE YOU " YEA OKAY SEE YOU IN DIVORCE COURT,.... Votes: -2

The person who wrote this garbage puke should be fired and not rehired anywhere in society, I would not want this person even pumping gas, This is a very sick and twisted world we are living in and these types of people who write this crap are proof of that,... Votes: +1

This is honestly the worst article I have ever read. I stopped at the first page. Votes: +3

American woman are the bigest piles of shiiit on the planet, they want everything but desrve nothing! fat, ugly, greedy, w***es. Ill take a foreighn woman anyday. Just look at the piece of shiiit that wrote this garbage. Votes: -3

I'm surprised that no one mentioned the worst possible outcome ( and unfortunately a common one)for women for a " one-night-stand", i.e., being murdered or left for dead. Happens all the time. As the author says "even if you feel bad about it later, don't beat yourself up for too long. After all, you will never see that person again " and society may never see or hear from you again because you're dead. Votes: +1

Any man or woman who goes around sleeping with a bunch of strangers are s**ts. Both sexes need to slow down on their sexual overdrive. Not only does it make them look like animals, but also does it make them pathetic. One-night stands are not worth it. Who cares about gaining the “experience”? Do we need to even go there? That sort of thinking is immature and ridiculous. All that really accomplishes is a degrading of oneself. An overused body sounds rather cheap, don’t you think? If you lack the experience, than that’s great! Save yourself for someone special, maybe someone who has waited just like you. Then, both of you can discover the wonder and intimacy of sex together, and it would be a beautiful moment that only the two of you will share. But it’s not always going to be clean-cut like that. Maybe either you or your partner made some mistakes in the past (cheating is NOT a mistake; it’s a choice). If it’s your partner, don’t be bitter about it. Just be careful around a guy or girl who hasn’t quit their promiscuous behavior.
Ladies, you don’t need to be like the sex-crazed animals out there. It’s not worth it and you won’t get any respect that way. Men, even if you’re hardwired that way, it really isn’t worth cheapening your bodies by going out and sleeping with whoever, whenever. Your bodies aren’t your minds. Think of it this way. If you don’t want your BF or GF to be cheap, then what gives you the right to be cheap and not them? Votes: +2

oh dear dear dear so many prudes!!! One night stands are truly the BEST SEX!
Love is grand, yes, blah, blah, butlove is RARE! Why wait? What if you never find "Mr. Right"? You want to go to your grave a virgin because you believe the myth of finding the right one? YOu have to (expletive) a few frogs first. I don't get it. Having sex with someone cute, nice, funny, sexy, etc. is OK! It's ok! I had a couple of boyfriends, and a few one nighters before I met my husband. I was 30 when I met him. I can't imagine being a virgin til that age. Im glad I got all my lousy, inexperienced,clumsy sex over with by the time he came along. YOu prudes are probably Americans and proud of your "virtue". I treasure my body and do not consider enjoying what I am supposed to enjoy "cheapening" myself. I have been married 27 years to the same guy who says if I was a virgin when we met he would have run the other way. Votes: +1

I'm a guy and even I don't want to meet this loser s**t. Votes: +0

I agree with the detractors. The moral degradation and the potential for serious incurable disease is enough to make me advise you to get your mind on straight and please yourself alone as you feel the need. I know God is out of style but He’ll be back in a big way soon and all the idiots who think that is mythology are going to meet a sorrowful end. Avoid a LOT of trouble in a world full of filth, degradation, and human trafficking. Mother told you not to talk to strangers. This wise doctor is also telling you not to f**k them. www - bh2012 dot com Votes: +0

Cool now women get to be as trashy as men. Votes: +1

Ellen, after you effed the frogs, did you give hubby some warts as a wedding gift? Votes: -2

I think I need to take a shower after reading this. Disgusting! Get a dildo for crying out loud! Votes: -1

i admit, this is like a train wreck, so i looked. But omg, this is the saddest piece of writing i've seen for so long. as a man, i have never been sexually active the way this trash is stating. I do NOT buy that it can enhance committed relationships. The more sex without committment (selfish flesh-gratification) the more likely emotional and mental health problems. I know, I am a MH professional. if today i met a woman who'd been into this, i'd run away as fast as i could. that is a real man's perspective. and i'd expect the same of myself. keep lying. keep deceiving others to follow this wickedness. we reap what we sow, make no mistake. Votes: +2

I love the bit about telling your friends where you're going to be for awhile.

Yeah, right. Even guys lie about that one! Votes: +0

This --> from dwight: " i admit, this is like a train wreck, so i looked. But omg, this is the saddest piece of writing i've seen for so long. as a man, i have never been sexually active the way this trash is stating. I do NOT buy that it can enhance committed relationships. The more sex without committment (selfish flesh-gratification) the more likely emotional and mental health problems. I know, I am a MH professional. if today i met a woman who'd been into this, i'd run away as fast as i could. that is a real man's perspective." Well said. THAT is a real man's perspective, and real men are looking for real women. Real people. Real souls. Votes: +1

men are visual, women are emotional. as a married man yes the sex between my wife and i is amazing! the trust we know what we like! as a young middle twenty's guy with his own apartment.......gimmie a break we men want to jump up and down like a new flavor at baskin robbins'. we eventually grow up, but we were born visual and want to go out on the hunt. we are good guys just need our sexual freedom until we mature, and if single women are willing participants...well play ball. don't tell a man what the best sex is cause your not a man! if you cheat than thats a different story. Votes: +2

What a disgusting article. Votes: +2

One night stands are disgusting! I can't imagine that anyone who actually respects themself would participate in one. If a girl needs self esteem then this is not the way to achieve it, unless of course she's looking for STDs, an unwanted pregnancy, or a quick way to feel used. I like the line from Clueless..."you know how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet." Votes: +1

What a huge steaming pile of CRAP this article was. The writer can be proud that HE "generated controversy" but nothing more. Votes: +1

I apologize for the typos as I wrote the previous post on my iPad which sometimes replaces words with different words as I type. For instance know for no. Unfortunately, after posting I noticed that their was not an edit tab on the forum Votes: -2

seems like the cons outweight the pros...it also seems like a dude wrote this article. Votes: +2

Men want promiscuous women for easy sex but do NOT want to commit to a promiscuous woman. Reasons include the risk of infidelity (inability of a promiscuous women to keep commitment), risk of cuckolding (no, men don't want to be tricked into spending time/money raising other guys' kids), risk of disease, risk of divorce and financial enslavement. All your feminist books and over-educated babbling will not change human nature. You have been warned. Votes: +1

I cant believe whomever wrote this article gets to teach people (directed at women) the positive value of a one night stand. Look at each article very carefully. If the writer is leaving warning signs all over the place, STD, Stranger may be Danger, Watch your drink, tell your friends, and on and on and on, why would you do it? Basically if you dont care about contracting a disease, getting beat up or murdered, its fine. I guarantee the person who wrote this article is a liberal with parents who had the same practices who would never even think of celebrating a golden wedding anniversary. Votes: +1

Here's the problem with sex in the context of this article, and for the Phd "modern" lady that wrote a book about her daughters, etc.-- having sex this way is ultimately a poor choice if we're being honest, because, inherently, it's SELFISH. Having sex just for the sake of sex is obviously, blatantly, using another person's body as a tool, for your own physical, sensual pleasure. It doesn't matter that the other person is enjoying it too-- it is empty, because it does not involve the other person. You don't know them, and they don't know you. They don't know what you stand for, and you don't know what they stand for. For all you know, you might not like anything about what they believe, or what they represent, yet you are willing to give your biggest physical gift to a stranger? It's very, very, simple Phd, it's taking, not giving, it's selfish, not selfless, and it lacks the one thing human beings are happiest at engaging in and really the one thing that ultimately sustains us-- the ability to engage in loving another, and letting ourselves be loved. And also, women and men do not have the same mindset about sex, and the social dynamic of valuing sexuality is completely different. Any woman that is either teaching or taught that because their body can affect and influence men, they should draw their own sense of confidence from this, is sorely mistaken and carrying around a completely myopic, warped, incorrect and naively sad perspective on what their actual value really is.

Also, I managed to graduate from high school, and went to college for 3 years before I got bored and quit. Perhaps I should be as impressed with myself as the Phd? I think not. Votes: +3

All I can think of when I read this is STDS, and unplanned pregnancys ones that you can't get rid of, sure there are condoms, but they don't protect you from everything, and condoms to break. I am not in a relationship right now, so I keep it locked up until I am in a long term relationship and that is all. Votes: +3

Girls like to play too. But their shelf life is short, and every single year past age 20, 400 million more eligible baby factories step up to challenge you. To be a successful species or race, men and women have to define themselves by what is attractive to the opposite sex for the long haul. Women who have many partners or who play with men for sport are viewed by men who are looking for a wife as a terrible investment. Those who separate the cart and horse by pretending that the primary function of intercourse is not reproduction threaten the quality of mate selection, and relationship satisfaction which results. Votes: +1

"Yours generation thinks it's the first to discover sex," my aunt told me. That was 20 years ago. I want to tell the young generation the same thing.

I read this badly-written Cosmo-trash because I saw the teaser headline and I've just come from the hospital in Las Vegas where I visited my 25-year old niece. She was partying (seriously--don't you hate that word? Must have been coined by a Hooters adman). She drank too much and was talking to some guy who slipped something in her drink and took her to his room where she pa*sed out. This Cadillac Jack was sufficiently worried about either:
1. Her well-being (hah)
2. The cops
And he called an ambulance.
Her girlfriend, still in the casino, was looking frantically for her and trying to reach her by cellphone.


This article told you nothing new. My aunt was right--people have been wanting sex and having sex for awhile now. What news value is there in this?

Listen, young women,the story of my niece has a happy ending. She will be fine physically. Emotionally, she needs to grow up. Sex with strangers is not the story of Carrie and Samantha on "Sex and the City." It is fraught with peril. SATC won Emmys; my niece did not. Votes: +9

Are you EFFING kidding me? This is the article of the damned!!! DON'T DO THIS STUFF!! For goodness sakes what happened to dignity and self respect?
I'm going to go buy a Holy BIBLE today and then take another shower, seriously! What the heck! Votes: +7

can it be because they have absolutely low morals , or just the hos they really are Votes: +1

as they say in Chinese: "Fay Wa!" Votes: -1

WOMEN like one-night stands?? On what planet? Obviously this author is either a clueless man posing as a woman, or just an idiot. Votes: +5

THE BIBLE SAY'S, NO FORNICATOR WILL INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD.....JUST SAYIN Votes: +3

when it has "STD" under "Related Tags" you should probably just skip it...lol Votes: +7

"Don't even use your real name if you can help it"?

Well, well, what interesting advice for girls who want to have fun.

When the working day is done,
Oh, girls,
They wanna have fu-un,
Oh, girls,
Just wanna have fun Votes: +1

This article reads more like a "how to" on hooker behavior. Who the hell gives advice like this??? You screw a guy/girl you don't know, and next thing you know, you're trying to marry his/her brother/sister.. that's gonna be fun, huh? I don't know about the rest of the guys here, but I sure as hell don't wanna marry a s**t.... Self-respect does much more than promiscuity when it comes to a relationship... my 2 cents. Votes: +5

"Put yourself in the right situation - Places like...dance clubs...are breeding grounds for one-nights stands" - Author's dreamland.
Reality - NIGHTCLUBS are places for WOMEN TO ABUSE 99% of men by demanding their attention, affection, drinks, meanwhile giving nothing in return.
Just stick around shortly after closing time and watch. You'll only see groups of girls walking home by themselves with all the confidence in the world after having abused and denigrated men, some who are still running around trying to get laid in a last ditch effort. Maybe that 1 handsome stud out of 100 gets laid with that 1 s**t out of 100, but THIS IS REALITY for clubs in AMERICA.
"Oh, but I just want to have fun with my girlfriends!" - Right, that's why you spent hours dressing up to your sexiest to try get attention from as many guys in the club as possible, because you just want to hang out by yourselves.
Do us a real night-stand seekers a favor, and go to church or something. NIGHTCLUBS SUCK! Votes: +1

When I first read this article I a*sumed the author was talking about one night stands once in a blue moon, as a consequence to "Maybe you just got dumped...". But reading into "...haven't had sex in longer than you'd like to admit or are just really horny" suggests the author is advocating completely wh**ing out in a frequent basis.
I really hope there are still very few women like that in the world, if my many failures at one night stands in night clubs and bars are any evidence of that... Who wants to settle down and have kids with s**t women like that? And yes, ladies, it is a double standard, and needs to continue to be for a very good reason... hint: just think about how a woman knows that her baby is hers and how a man knows that her baby is his, DUH! (and dont gimme DNA testing crap - who wants to spend months in courts fighting for blood tests, only to be rejected on grounds of privacy). Votes: +2

Yes, society says that women who enjoy sex are wh***s and men who enjoy sex are studs. It is a double standard. But that is about all the merit this article has to it. A one nighter is basically using someone to masterbate into (or on if you're a woman). Sex is soooo much better when it is with someone you love and respect. And as others have pointed out, sex can be downright deadly, or at least life-altering because of a STD. Every action has unintended consequences, sometime big, sometimes small. If you're horny, masterbate. If you're looking to fill a void in your life and can't seem to be able to do so, try therapy instead of casual sex. The latter isn't working well is it? This goes for guys and gals. Votes: +4

wow, what a bunch of judgmental people commenting...There's nothing wrong with single women have any occasional one night stand...It's certainly better then the serial dating so many women do...I mean, what are the odds that every guy you date is 'the one'...but so many women think they are. The one myth I hate is that the women want the one nighter to become a relationship...We've all experienced the opposite...the guy wants to date you. Even the younger guys some of my friends have been with have wanted to become their boyfriends...We've all been programmed to think certain ways, but life isn't that simple Votes: -2

Really.... Really??? Votes: +2

I will never understand one night stands..Not all STD's are protected by a condom. How about genital herpes? That's enough to steer me away, I think last I read it was 1 in 5? No thanks, I'll just stick to my toys. Votes: +2

Amen to the last comment on not all STDs being prevented by condoms. Also seriously is there no thought to the social and societal implications of this. What part of is the other person married, a criminal etc., does not occur to the writer? "Morals" are not just made up they have some logic. Votes: +2

At 62 years old, I must tell you that all too many women aren't really into sex after menopause. That's why the sexually active men date women who are 50 or younger. Recreational sex is trumped by the joy of being alone, able to do whatever I want, when I want to do it. I left relationships behind; they cost you a lot of time, frustration, and money. Go dancing to get your hands on a woman and socialize, then go home alone. That's good advice. mensunion org Votes: +2

They are good for everyone - She can't get pregnet - He can't get aids - No need to exchcnge phone #s - Hard to get cought by spouse - Can be done in the dark - The sex of the other person is irrelveant --- Votes: -2

Gosh, what an awesome article. It is so enlightening to hear this good, solid advice; you know, like the British accent. Just never thought of that. Thank you so much! Votes: -2

What a bunch of nonsense!!! I don't know where to start!!! How many women have been raped, beaten and murdered as a result of looking for some illicit connection. Then there is the issue of morality. Sex outside of Biblical marriage is fornication or adultery!! Votes: +1

This article is stupid. Whoever wrote this is a hack. Condoms are also bulls**t and they ruin sex. The best girls won't make you wear a rubber. Just don't give your real name and if you do have an STD, lie and say you're clean. Half the fun of a one night stand is finding a s**t who won't make you wear a condom. Votes: -1

It's no wonder this country is slouching toward moral bankruptcy. Whoever wrote this advice is either Satan or a serial rapist. Never, I repeat, never put yourself in such a potentially dangerous situation with a stranger. Votes: +2

My fiance had a one night stand once. We went out to dinner together and when I went to get drinks, which took 30 minutes, she went out into the weeds of the parking lot and had her fling. I found out 10 years and 4 children later. It devastated me and I'll never be the same. I'd like to leave, if I had somewhere to go, besides wander the country with a sleeping bag. I hate her for doing that to me. Everything could have been perfect, but she had to have this fling with some moron. She doesn't apologize about it, there's never any remorse. I married a sociopath. Votes: -1

When reading the comments I can't help but think of what H.L. Mencken said about Puritanism being the haunting feeling that someone else might be happy.

BTW, try using readable security images Votes: +0

you could have mind blowing sex and then become depressed....sounds like a winner....NOT.

the first "tags" on the article are "STDs", do you need to know more....LOL.... Votes: +3

It is too bad this article is written with a positive spin on such a horrible thing. One-night stands are good for no one and nothing, and esp awful for the partners of cheaters. Have some self-discipline, morality, compa*sion and realize the nastiness that they are, then reap the many benefits of monogamy. Votes: +6

The author states that you do not know ths person well, and do not know his sexual history or health. This is not true. You do know this stranger quite well; you know they're someone who is willing to jump in the sack with anyone, at any time for no reason. You know they have no standards for themselves or their partners, and you can bet they have some sort of communicable disease and low self-esteem. Isn't it like greater that 75% of people have the human papilloma virus and over 50% have herpes? Neither of these be cured. Votes: +4

To anyone contemplating casual sex - Don't do it. Don't read this article and think it is good, beneficial or positive (except for HIV positive). I know the article says it is good, but many things you read are bunk and this is one of them. No, it won't be a nice little secret that leaves you mysterious. It will be a festering sore in the pit of your stomach you'll regret for the rest of your life, and hope absolutely no one finds out, and know that it will make you less worthy of a decent spouse in the future. It will probably make you more prone to cheat later since you've reduced sex to this, and have already given it to who-cares-who. Do not believe the farce of being sexy by "closing the deal". That guy doesn't care who you are or what you look like. He'll sleep with anyone, pretty or ugly, anyone who is willing. So, his attentions do NOT mean you're hot, beautiful, sexy. They just mean he thinks he can get you into bed. Votes: +6

The one night stand, yet another victory for women's lib. Votes: +4

What an airhead whoever wrote this piece of garbage. I'm a man and let me tell you that this "advice" is pure garbage! Votes: +4

one night stand
Pros: SEX!
Cons: STD's, bye bye reputation, self esteem (what's that?) did you get a terminal STD? oh and he could really care less about you.
Now what is so great about a one night stand again? Votes: +8

This has to have been written by the town w***e trying to draw others into her despicable world. You know it can be lonely at the bottom of the barrel. Votes: +2

This article must have been written by a man. Women are motivated by relationship and love. Also, ask any gynocologists-STD's are running rampant in our society and many have no cures...these are diseases that affect your future spouse and possibly your children. By the grace of God my husband and I were able to follow the Bible in saving ourselves for marriage, and boy was the first time romantic! God made us, he knows our needs, and he made sure we had a manual for living life(the Bible), so that we would be spared much pain. Votes: +1

This is sad... I didn't even read the whole article because I couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous it is. It's true, us guys shouldn't even think like this, why make an article asking WOMEN to live like this. Just a bunch of bad ideas that will continue the down fall of malleable minds. Votes: +2

The article should be called "How To Be A s**t". Votes: +2

The article title should be the Pros and Cons of being a s**t.............. Votes: +2

Gee, I don't do one night stands with people that I don't know because not only do I not want to get an STD, I DON'T WANT TO BE MURDERED. A woman putting herself in that kind of vulnerable position with all the psychos and creeps out there is just asking for trouble and really isn't very bright. Votes: +5

you guys are reading way too much into this article. i have had a couple of one night stands, i needed it, had a good time, and no strings. this works for mature women, not young girls still finding themselves. and no, you don't do it with total strangers. my one night stands have been with someone i know. but it was clear, just one night. thank you, see you later. and we are still friends....nothing more. Votes: -3

What a shallow, amoral piece of trash. When I looked at the comments, I felt so much better, knowing that there are still decent people in the world. Votes: +3

are one night stands cool now? are they all doing this? is there a website for girls who just want one night stands? Votes: +1

This article was written by a s**t. Votes: +0

What a totally stupid, poorly written piece of trash. The writer should quit, be fired, or commit suicide. The article stinks. I'm sorry I read it, I'll never read this stupid site again.
Votes: -1

This is the worst "article" I've ever read! This is what is wrong with our country. I would never date a girl with a shady past, and I don't care if she was going through her "wild" times as many girls in their early 20's seem to do. I never did any of that, and I won't put up with someone who did. I hope that no young girls read this and take it to heart... If they do, I hope they read the comments like I did (they really restored my faith after reading what was above). I have friends who value their purity and morality and I would die inside if they started acting like the article suggests. Votes: +1

This change in how sex is viewed is why I wound up with a string of short-term relationships with women in their mid- to late 20's when I was suddenly single again in my mid-50's. Its fun, but it leads absolutely nowhere, and my sense was these women were seeking a sense of self their families failed to instill 10 or more years before. In other words, its all about them, and the man must be just a sexual diversion. If they lose track of that, they wind up more confused than if they had just continued to try and muddle through. Votes: +5

It has been said, "The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he (or she) does not exist". S/He might have had something to do with the authoring of this article?

On another note, it is surprising the author had not suggested or forgot about the option of becoming a part-time porn star? At least the members of that community are regularly tested for STDs and chances of being murdered afterwords by a psycho are greatly reduced... plus there is some $$$ involved ... just say'in. (not mentioning any moral factors here since the author really clearly has no conception of that 'ancient' word from humanity's past!)
Votes: +2