5 Things Wrecking Your Sex Life

Ummmm, I'm sorry - Women do this stuff? I'm a woman and Men pull all this as well. I hate it when articles like this target a gender. Votes: +10

Women have been made to believe that paradise sits between their lege, and don't get me wrong, without it, we'd go crazy. I'm old and it's STILL always on my mind....but....at the risk of sounding cra*s and rude....please clean it up a little. There's no bigger turn off than an over forty unkept woman. Votes: +2

A modest investment in clothespins and earplugs can sometimes work wonders Votes: +2

The author danced around this without saying it directly but here's the blunt truth. Most women simply aren't freaky enough. Sure some of them will pretend to give you some oral (i.e. stopping short and thinking they've given you the best experience in life) or maybe be a little adventurous with positions but in general, most of them draw the line way to far on the prudish side. Another bit of truth is that if you're not doing it for him, most likely he's going to get it somewhere else-and don't be surprised where that somewhere else might turn out to be. Trust me, I know from experience. Votes: +8

The advice to spice up your bedroom, you should bring in a third party by way of adult videos or toys is a poor one. There are studies showing that porn is addictive, and that porn use can hurt intimacy. Do you REALLY want to feel like you're playing second fiddle to porn? Or that you can't explore and play with your lover without having someone tell you how? Just have FUN. You don't need to go to an outside party for that.

And yes, some things should always be off limits. If one partner wants something that makes the other partner uncomfortable or feel inferior, it should be stopped. And certain body fluids (blood, scat, urine...) are not meant for play. Votes: +15

I've heard it all.
NOT NOW ... it's the middle of the day,
it's the middle of the night,
I'm trying to sleep,
I just woke up,
I don't like sex in the morning,
don't wake me up for sex,
I haven't had a shower yet - I'm all dirty,
I just had a shower - I'm all clean,
I need my rest so I can work tomorrow,
it's my day off - let me rest,
I've got a headache,
my back hurts,
it's too hot in here,
it's too cold,
you're pulling my hair,
my back hurts,
my breath smells bad,
your breath smells bad,
I'm not in the mood,
you weren't nice to me,
we might wake up the kid,
the kid is outside and might come in,
the kid is away but might drop in,
it's that time of the month,
I might get pregnant,
you don't care about me,
you don't pay attention to me,
you're suffocating me with attention,
... and on and on, for decades.

Turns out, she only likes sex when she reads her "romance novels", and even then she only wants sex in her mind.

I had become like her treadmill. When she didn't have one, she desired it and just had to get one. Once she had the treadmill, she lost interest completely because, hey, it's always there - I can always do it later. Having something made it lose its value because she no longer desired to obtain it.

But today, it is no longer her choice. We no longer have sex because I have decided that I have reached my lifetime quota of rejection and indifference. She doesn't seem to understand that. She seems to think that I should jump at the chance to have sex with her (now that she's a fat old lady). But time has limited my sexual appetite, and her actions have destroyed my desire for her.
Votes: +53

When they fart in bed,the honeymoon's over! Votes: +10

I suppose there's always someone reading an article like this for the first time, but I swear I've read a million that are almost identical, and just as identically worthless. Does ANYBODY really take this stuff to heart? Waste of time. Votes: +8

Rose,
First, I'm sorry that others were less than kind. You don't deserve that.
That said, PLEASE talk to your Doctor about this, and when you do be just as blunt as you were in your comment here. There's no reason nor room for embarra*sment - your Doc is a medical professional whose *JOB* is to help!

You're not ever going to tell him or her anything that (s)he hasn't seen or heard before!

The truth is that Sex - done right - is *NOT* painful, it should be the most pleasurable experience possible.

It's possible that your husband is not taking the time to make sure you're physically aroused and ready, maybe he's unnaturally excessively "endowed", but that's INCREDIBLY rare, and even then you should have no real problems provided enough foreplay to ensure you're ready.

In short, if you don't have a medical problem, then "you're doing it wrong."
In either case, THIS *CAN* BE FIXED!!

If I can help, send me a message to my user_ID (dedicated_dad) at yah00 dot c0m. I have no "motives" or whatever other than a desire to help - I'm a married man and would rather set myself on fire than break a solemn vow, but reading your message broke my heart.

It's never too late to fix things, and once you find what you've been missing, you'll have a lot of happy years to look forward to! Votes: +5

As a European I deplore how few women on this side of the ocean dare to be natural. What women are told they must do daily to please their man is simply mind-boggling. The amount of makeup, cosmetics of all kinds that must be applied daily is crazy. Diet-related pressures are insane, and have driven some women to suicide. The rules concerning female hair are particularly ridiculous. Hair on a lady's head is fine, but not on her legs. On her arms it's OK, but not under her arms. Heaven forbid that a spider should stick out from under her bikini... Such horror! Ditto if a little sweat mark appears under her arm... Other than her head hair and a bit of fuzz on her forearms, her skin is supposed to look like a plucked chicken at all times. That Proctor & Gamble and some pedophiles would like it this way is understandable, but that practically an entire society would conform to this nonsense is truly amazing. Women, dare to be yourselves. Most of you have beautiful, desirable bodies, giving men more pleasure than anything else in life. Being clean, such as showering and brushing your teeth daily, is one thing. But being natural and at peace with yourself is another and will also give you a more satisfying sex life. Votes: +33

I would have to say that if you are a woman and really want to please your man, the first thing I would do is be willing to taste his ejaculate.

If I look back at my sexual happiness in relationships, the women who weren't afraid of swallowing/tasting were the ones that pleased me the most in the bedroom. It ranged from being more aggressive in starting contact, to being open to trying new positions, to giving a morning bj 'just because' every once in a while. The only exception was a woman I dated during my late 20's that wouldn't exchange body fluids because she was saving that for her future husband (she was very adventurous otherwise.)

One of my less pleasing lovers rarely went down on me while I would go down on her at the drop of a hat (and loved it.) Her rare BJs were boring and I always got the feeling that it was because she was scared to death of that thing going off in her mouth(she had no interest in that happening.) I almost always had to ask her to do this for me and felt that the only way she was going to do this on her own is if I saved a puppy from a burning building.

It takes a toll when you feel like you are 10x more willing to please her than you and sex turns into a 'can we? It's been a month' sympathy lay situation. Sooner or later, these relationships are bound to collapse.

Votes: +6

Wow. Interesting comments. I agree with some of the comments that some women are prudes and think that the center of the universe is between their legs. But as a woman I'd have to say NO effing way; just release you inner freaky girl and get over it. I've been conservative in the number of men I've had sex with but in most cases I felt that I was the more adventurous. One was not seriously into blowjobs and the idea of ejaculating in my mouth was foreign to him. I was always turned on by giving blowjobs, I actually love it. So what does a woman do when she's treated queenly but really is more like the downstairs parlormaid in her sexual temperament? Talk about effing frustrating.

...and for the record this girl loves her toys and her porn... Votes: +14

Oh yeah, and this chickie will stay nicely cleaned, groomed and infection free, but there WILL BE NO WAXING OR SHAVING OF THE GIRLY BITS. Un-unh no way, no how. Having to have waxed girly bits is a deal breaker...

Oh and maybe it's just me but guys enough with marinating in cologne. Soap, water and antiperspirant does wonders...Dated two guys who did not wear any form of cologne and ahh it was the biggest turn on that I actually knew the way they smelled. There is definitely something to be said about pheromones.

Oh and while I have the floor, I was looking through a catalog the other day and I actually was floored that some women will go through the trouble of using discreet covers to hide that their nipples become erect. Really? You're ashamed of showing you have working nipples? Everyone has nipples what is the big effing deal? Votes: +12

Many people here think the advice is for goof-balls and ignoramouses. BUT, there are a lot of people out there who need to read about sex, hear about it, discuss it, etc, to overcome shyness in the bedroom. Since I'm a Boomer, I lived through the 60's and learned too much too soon and have felt generally disappointed ever since because most of these articles are written for women! Where is the advice for men to help them overcome their shyness, inexperience and hyper-criticism of women? These articvles are geared to get women to d one thing; give a guy a blow job. That's what men want more than anything because they don't have to do anything but lay there and enjoy being "serviced". Even this article concentrates on making women please men, and hoping women will buy into "please him and it will give you pleasure' BS. Every Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler magazine I've ever read is all about getting a woman to "enjoy" giving a man oral sex.It's okay for a warm up but most men are selfish and just want a woman to please them. Votes: +9

You won't have sexual problems if YOU, the man is somewhat attractive, clean and a decent guy. Plus, be good in bed. Give the girl a ma*sage, learn how to make a woman feel good with your tongue, and she'll want sex, and want to please you.

Reading these comments makes me roll my eyes... I personally like men who wear cologne, and it isn't always acceptable to have your nipples showing through your business casual at work, durr.

Also everyone, men and women, have moments where they can't perform like a porn star, deal with it, it's life. Votes: +7

Hm, what are you wearing that you need extra protection to keep your nipples from showing? I rarely think that that is an issue in the work place. Now wearing revealing clothing (i.e., extremely low necklines, very short skirts or too tight clothing) is not appropriate but hiding a normal human response (e.g., to cold temperatures) is not that big of a deal. If someone is going to focus on your breasts they are going to focus on your breasts regardless of whether your nipples are showing.

By the way I didn't say that cologne was a bad thing (although personally I don't think it makes a man any sexier or more attractive), I said marinating in it is a bit much. If you leave behind a cologne cloud or cause people to wheeze or gag when you are present then that is just a tad too much. Votes: +8

What I find extremely gross is a woman who doesn't trim down there, or doesn't shave her armpits or legs. I was with a very attractive girl, and, when she got naked, it was a forest down there. Then as she lift her arms, I saw the huge growth or armpit hair. And, her legs were hairy. Granted, this was a one-night stand, but, yikes, it was like boinking Bigfoot's sister. Votes: -3

Once I also convinced a girl to come visit me after she finished working. I was very anxious, and told her I couldn't wait to please her. Well, she arrived, was dressed nice, and literally pulled my head down to her coochi. The smell almost floored me. She hadn't freshened up and the smell was awful. She got mad because I wasn't pleasing, and then I suggested a "romantic bath". She told me she was really "in the mood" and wanted to do it then and there. I held my breath and tried, but finally gagged because of the smell. I told her to let me bathe her, but she got mad and left. Votes: +6

It is hard to tell women they suck at sucking. Some are really talented, but most really don't know what to do. The trick is to really keep a good "seal" on it to really please a man. We don't get an erection simply by you sticking it in your mouth. And, ladies, it is not acid. It extremely turns me on when a girl asks me to let her know when I am about to finish, and she really craves every last drop. That is a huge turn-on. Votes: +3

I've had lots of one-nighters. I am amazed at how some women act. I met one woman at Costco, and just matter-of-factly told her I wanted to make her cum. She smiled and invited me to her place. She took a shower and then had me take a shower. She really enjoyed being pleased, and I made her cum at least 4 times. I really paid attention and she had 30 minutes of non-stop pleasure. I was pretty ready, but wanted a little bit of help so I put my johnson near her mouth and she said "Just F me". I told her I would like a little oral and she said "I don't know you". She wanted me to put my penis inside of her without a condom, but giving me a little oral was out of the question because "she did not know me". Amazing. Votes: -3

When women fart in bed, the honeymoon is over! Votes: -2

If it's all about the coochie, then ladies take care of it! Votes: +0

Sex is not supposed to be neat and sterile. If you are fixated on whether your partner showered and shaved, while you are in the midst of having sex... Well, you have probably have never experienced real love-making and the heat of pa*sion. Votes: +11

I could give you a list of don't for men also. Try not doing chew while having sex, wash your butt, stop saying gross stuff right before having sex, never tell a woman that it takes to long for foreplay for the amount of time it takes you to do your deed. Maybe you could brush your teeth. Stop trying to put your stuff in my hair and face. How about kissing..oh yea can't do that because you have that big was of chew in your mouth. Votes: +15

Wow, I have serious problems with this article. Recommendation #1 would kill your sex life! It should read: 1. keep yourself clean; 2. don't get grossed out by a bit of hair or the smell of sex hormones, those are normal and signs that you're dealing with a healthy adult; 3. have sex everywhere and at random times; 4. sex is messy so just enjoy the free lube, and 5. whatever you do, DON'T keep freakin' towels around or turn the lights off! Votes: -1

How about the old "right emotion - wrong person" scenario, as in "I'm furious at my unfaithful ex-husband so I'm NOT doing anything to please you! [even after I got mine]" Been there and no fun. Votes: -1

You know what the Koreans say about oral sex and eating Kimchi?
Once you get past the smell - you got it licked... Votes: +4

As others have pointed out - this article, and the accompanying graphic, imply that it's the woman who is to blame for a poor sex life. There's no mention in here about items that the man typically needs to work on. Either re-title the article or do a better job of being comprehensive, and shame on the editor for catering to stereotypes with the accompanying picture. Votes: +6

number one turn off for men is when the woman talks... Votes: +0

I always thought farting during sex was the most embarrasing thing! Votes: +3

If the two of you are going to have sex, then each should take one anothers fears, or whatever is the turnoff is into consideration. "It is all about communication". I personally like for my partner to be clean and that's all! Either a shower or a jump into my hottub and we're ready to go. And I will do anything to please my mate no matter what she wants. Her record is 17 times in a four hour period. Trust me when I say, she slept good that night and with a big smile on her face the next a.m. Votes: +3

I don't understand why an adult person would refer to sex as "naughty or nasty". Sex with someone you truly love (and are married to) is a beautiful, noble thing that strengthens the family. Sex is rather "earthy", that is true, but in a good relationship the farting, and the messes are nothing. Sex is adult play also. A marriage with good sex and good communication is a beautiful thing. I know--I had one like that, and feel like its too late to have that again.He made me feel safe, loved, and very valued. He was my MAN! Just wish we could have had more years together. He died from pneumonia and a blood infection 18 months ago. I don't remember turning him off in any way, and he never turned me off either. After 30 years we still had it "going on". What we do outside the bedroom affects what goes on there more than we think, so we need to be careful. A good marriage relationsip is well worth working for and contributes alot to our general happiness in life.
Votes: +15

Sex is BORING! making love is where it's at.I've been with numerous women. Some times hormones rule they take over my mind and it turns into now!Now!NOW! But after... when I'm alone, seconds after- when I'm truly alone,I feel dirty because. It turns into a doughnut instead of an omelet.Empty without weight. Like masturbation. The best thing about a woman is waking up with her,and touching and hearing her breathing...feeding the dog, and making coffee, and reading the paper waiting for the sound of her stirring. Damn I've got the best wife. Votes: +13

Whoa! I don't cheat on my wife. I was speaking of my previous Single behavior. Votes: +2

"Liquid mishaps"?? "Squished and crumpled" ?? Seriously?
Who writes this tripe? Votes: +0

Slanted toward guy thought/behavior/desires....obvious when #1 comes up: Don't get grossed out; somehow this is a big mistake gals...it's guys that don't care if your pet pig is in bed with you, or think it's okay for them to fart or belch beer during orgasm or do things with body fluids even Larry Flint doesn't want more info on.
Being experimental also a guy translation: they want every single sex toy from the Hustler store to feel and do just what they think it will do for them, and the partner has to be willing and have the skills to do whatever it's advertised to do.
Ugh, reading and to quote bigbalz "to smell my pud and they think it's perfume" Um, news bulletin. Chics in girltalk NEVER discuss the lovliness of a gross, skanky guy's family jewels.....the majority of chics demonstrate a "liking" for such junk because it keeps them liked by the guy during sex so they can feel they've hit the big time.
Votes: +0

Why does writing like this exist? This advice is the worst and I am sad for the world of young people who might read this is and feel even more scared or neurotic about their future sexual encounters. Votes: +3

Do NOT turn the lights off! working OB-GYN for years and this is a big nono to tell anyone. You WANT to see the genital area. Sight can show what you need to know. Who is this person that wrote this article. This person should NOT be giving advice. Votes: +11

#6 worst thing in bed.....calling your wife Linda when her name is Jennifer. Votes: +9

LOL too funny, I've never had to read about it, and it's always been ok I think ppl overthink things sometimes. Votes: +1

"Greet your partner at the door in lingerie". Bad idea, my wife wouldn't speak to me for three days ... :-( Votes: +15

...The Best Sex i've had was with someone I was NOT in love with...
...BUT the Best Day to day and night to night and Life in general...
..That I have,is with the ONE who I Love and know Loves Me too...etc... Votes: -1

I'm a man, and I think this is a great article. Sure, like many of you say, the ideas in the article superficially silly because - just echoing the sentiment here - who wouldn't do these simple straightforward things??

However, it would behoove many of you to learn to think from another human beings perspective instead of a*suming that everyone is like yourself. The truth is that there are many people in the world with insecurities about sex - for many reasons, one being the judgmental and retributive attitude of many of you commenters.

Emotions and stress in an insecure person gets in the way of doing the seemingly simple, obvious things like saying "I like position X", or such a person might be too embarra*sed to do anything outside their comfort bubble. Not only that, but their comfort bubble might be of miniscule size compared to those without emotional hang-ups.

This article does a good service to the world by possibly reaching out to those with insecurities, and if these insecurities are mild (heavy insecurities probably need professional help), then maybe the reasonable and logical words in this article can help point such people in the right direction for fixing themselves. Votes: +2

Wow, is this article stupid. The writer doesn't understand men AT ALL. If they are as clueless about women, this advice will ruin a lot of encounters. Votes: +7

unfortunately it seems that many of you didn't put together the fact that if these things don't pertain to you, then the article wasn't written for you and as such, you probably won't find the article relevant or even sensible. having encountered partners who could benefit from this article, it makes perfect sense to me, despite the loud cries from the other sex experts/literary critics who have commented. Votes: +0