5 Signs He Is the Right One For You

Wait, so I'm expected to hold to this little checklist of hers while I have to accept her with flaws and all? Seems a little lop-sided. Everyone has flaws. 5 important qualities is actually quite a bit considering that there's only so many things you can look for beyond physical qualities. Votes: +2

You would think respect and values ppl would look for in a relationship. No, you see it all the time. Just watch closely and when first meet a person its to show their best quilities in the beginning so if don't like them when they are at their best behavor you won't like them later. lol Votes: +0

I liked the article, mainly for insight into one women's perspective. A perspective that many women seem to agree and apply in their dating lives. Thanks.

Guys, when you're *angry* about and toward women talking to each other about men somewhere that's made for them (we're guests)... the level of respect can't get more obvious. There are plenty of articles written for men about "her", at least one mixed with the links at the bottom of the last page. I don't see women complaining about them. Men have plenty of spaces that are just as much for ourselves as this site is for women. Sit back and watch, if you're not happy.

I've been a writer too, and subconciously pull out the red pen the first time an error pops in my head. But if it doesn't cut into the meaning, it's not the highest priority. Votes: +8

I don't know of any women who are happliy in a relationship because their man "meets criteria specified on their list". Lists are the best way to stay single, because people aren't quantifiable. Votes: +0

All of you asking why this article is directed at women...a*suming you are all men, it's because COSMO is a WOMENS magazine... Jesus. If you want to read articles directed towards men get a freaking subscription to GQ or mens health! Votes: -1

* He is willing to compromise
* He listens to your concerns and feelings
* He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it
* He values your opinion
* He appreciates you
* He is genuinely happy for you when you succeed

Guys, please note this is the quickest way to get a girl to loath you. Do these things at your own pleasure and she will give you the respect that makes a good relationship. Votes: -1

this wasn't helpful at all some of us don't care what ou man is like as long as he's a celebrity...lol...JUST KIDDING...ha!ha! Votes: +2

www.crazy-jerseys.com Votes: -2

Well, i think the article is intended to help everyone in general, not women only. That's why the first sign says ''If you both respect each other, and this is really important in any long-lasting relation. With respect comes affection, care and even faithfulnes that all yearn for. So the 5 signs are there for all-not women only as some think. So respect your love one, you out there, and u'll enjoy the respect in return, for what u sow is what you reap. Votes: +3

"Thank you Captain Obvious" to all five of the clever tips. Votes: +5

Uhmm, This IS a womans mag!!! Duh!! As Gifty said, the article does have a bit to say about "both" parties treating eachother respectfully. Go read Maxum If you want mens articles. Votes: +3

It really is a preveledge to have a site such as ths 1 dat allows us WOMEN to have insight on good relationships and really just help us know if the one's we are in are what they should be or not, based ON WHAT WE WANT AND NEED. I lyk the fact that the writter left room 4personal preferences as we are different nd value different things and it's now up to us wheather we take what is written as true 4us or not. To the men who feel left out, well the site is giving advice to WOMEN, so what yal can ask is if yal can have ur own site... not comment as if the writter is being biased, whereas really the TARGET POPULATION 4this site is WOMEN. Votes: +2

Attraction isn't a choice. Any man can trigger the "I'm the right one for you" by flipping the switches of attraction / affection / comfort in a woman through a series of techniques and by being a high status male in overall. And good luck trying the whole "5 non-negotiable qualities" trick, I'll give you 10 bucks if you can make THAT happen. People need to be flexible and in the end evidence proves this otherwise. Votes: -4

With women in the U.S. filing 80% of the divorces I almost laughed at Sign #1.
Many of these men who meet this are dumping men by the thousands every day who met this criteria. Good men who either failed to meet their unrealisitc expectations or as many women have told me, they just became "bored" with their
husband. His flaw - being boring - must dump and look for a better deal.

Forty plus years of women's lib which has been a good thing in many areas, but
thanks to NOW, COSMOPOLITAN, and other organizations it has made it almost impossible for any man to the meet the unrealistic expecations of many women.
What man needs a high maintenance woman in their life who is out for what she can get?
Key questions to ask yourself as a woman: "What am I bringing to the table?"
"What has love got to do with it?"
Votes: -2

This article got off to a great start, then it decended into generalized fluff. The great start centered around the word respect. Most of the relationships I see today lack respect between the two members to such a degree where neither cares what the other feels or says, and put the other down or viciously snap at the other over trivial matters. And while we're on the subject, they usually lack trust as well. Why in the hell would you want to be with someone you neither respected nor trusted? Because you don't want to be alone? Because they're good in bed? Or you're deluding yourself that the two of you are "in love?" I think 99% of the time, if you don't respect or trust the other person, your relationship just ain't gonna work. Period. Grow up already. If you're just incapable of trusting or respecting other people in general for whatever reason (the one I see all the time is "I've been hurt so much in the past, I have trouble trusting people, blah blah blah."). Look, we're all real sorry your last 17 boyfriends/girlfriends cheated on you, but maybe A. that speaks to how and where you're choosing them, and B. you have some things to work on in yourself before you're even ready for a relationship.

I kinda got out of hand and went on a rant, haha. Can you tell this is something that really bugs the hell out of me on a day to day basis? I hate the way people treat each other these days. I haven't seriously dated or slept with a whole ton of women, but there've been several, and I treated every single one of them with respect. I didn't cheat on any of them, ever, and I trusted and respected them in return. I don't understand why everyone seems to be doing otherwise. Votes: +6

I found myself looking through this article as a check-up to look for a*suring clues that might help my relationship. As I look past the pink dress with the girl hanging all over the man, I almost find it comical and old fashioned that the presentation for the information contained in this article is directed at a very specific audience. If this is USA Today, it must be 1975 again. I was however, able to find a few helpful hints that may be positive for the relationship I have with my partner in life. Votes: -1

COLD FEET FOR JUNE WEDDING MIGHT BE OCD

Longing hearts everywhere await June weddings (and anniversaries). For millions, however, the "blessed day" is their worst fear, despite good relationships, leaving them confused and conflicted, guilty or mistrustful, due to "Relationship OCD" or "ROCD."

ROCD is a form of OCD in which the sufferer has irrational doubts of their partner's love, and goes to extreme lengths to compulsively check up on them. They constantly call them, or inspect their call or email history. Participation in wedding plans are one of many tests of their partner's love. They analyze their words, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Eventually they cause their relationship to dissolve, perhaps, even at the altar.

On the flip side, many other ROCD sufferers doubt their own love for their partner. They set up tests of their attraction and find endless minutiae wrong with their partner. Some wonder if they are leading their partner on, and feel guilty they will eventually hurt or cheat on them. They break up repeatedly only to reunite a few days later.

Psychologist Steven J. Brodsky wants star-crossed lovers to know that their hot-and-cold behavior might indeed be due to a serious anxiety disorder and that the right kind of treatment could save their relationships. Countless marriages (and children) are the direct result of his therapy.


Dr. Steven Brodsky is the clinical director of the OCD and Panic Center of NY and NJ. He has appeared on NBC Nightly News, The TODAY Show (www.tinyurl.com/3zv7wrn), New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and other news and discussion media. For more information, visit Dr. Brodsky's web site, www.OCDhotline.com or call 212-726-2390.

Votes: -1

Here's the problem princess, me me me its always what is best for me. We're all tired of dealing with your selfish attitudes and constant ridicule. Did you ever stop to think that your never ending quest to point out everyone's faults are why you always end up unsatisfied with your partners? Try looking for something good in a person and dwell on that for a change. Otherwise do us all a favor and join a convent. Votes: -4

This could be used for either the man or the women looking for Mr/Ms Right. Votes: +4

what a terrible piece of crap! who writes this junk? did she get paid for this trash? Votes: -1

"It helps to write a list." Yeah, just don't write a list with 42 qualities that are "necessary". Mine? "Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, and more for the two of us...", plus toilet paper over rather than under or we'd have *major* problems. Votes: +2

I just forwarded this article to my 20 year old daughter who always seems to go for the losers..... Votes: +2

The utter prescience of this article dumbfounds me. A truly incisive epiphany that will provide invoilable truth guiding every woman's search for that perfect man (or woman). Oh, the humanity... Please, please tell me we have not devolved to the level of bipedal ungulates who must be so coached in the most pedestrian of social endeavors. Votes: +0

Wow,I don't even have one of the things mentioned on this list with my husband.Not a single one. Votes: +0

One thing I really don't understand or agree with here is: "He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it". I know that's a pretty common expectation, but I REALLY don't think expecting someone to notice these things is reasonable. What if they just don't notice? What if their lack of noticing has nothing to do with whether they love you or not, but they simply had other things on their mind or didn't notice your expression was just a little different? I think it's a little ridiculous to a*sume that because they didn't notice, they must not care, and to expect it; I think the unnecessary fights it may start may very well outweigh any good it may do.
I think if you want to talk about something upsetting you, initiate the conversation yourself. THEN if they don't care, you might have a problem. Votes: +0

I think that this can be used and reformed by an individual. I also think that the five things
"He is willing to compromise, He listens to your concerns and feelings, He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it, He values your opinion, He appreciates you, He is genuinely happy for you when you succeed" can also be used insted of "he" it can be "she". Because it's true about all love, whether man or women, if a person is trully "the one" then they will feel this way towards you, and you will feel this way towards them. Votes: +0

WOW!!!! This is a seriously misguided article. It does not say anything right, anything wrong, or, really, anything at all. It sounds like it was written by some 7th grader in a middle school newspaper article, filled with all of the things "mother" said. It is a lot more complicated than this, and, ladies, PLEASE don't think that these five things will catapult you to nirvana with this knight in shining armor. More than anything, KNOW YOURSELF. Your emotional needs, strengths, and weaknesses. Please know what it is that you want. Know that you yourself are happy. Know that if you get into a relationship with anyone that you have to make deposits to make withdrawals. Please, know that living with anybody and learning that person and "getting on the same page" will take some real work, no matter how damn "right for you" he is. People will think, and ask themselves serious questions,and make all kinds of preparations when they want to adopt a puppy,but don't understand why these fundamental, basic questions have to be addressed before they snag a mate. I could go on and on about this one, but, whoever wrote this article is definitely lacking any real depth in writing this seriously light-hearted article. If any 7th graders are reading this, this may prove helpful but for the grown, sexy, single, and ready to mingle this is useless. Votes: -1

Talk about a waste of an article...save the words next time Votes: +0

I think this is a great article. These "men" complaining about it only being about women are stupid. This article is great because it applies to both men and women. Some things are so important to people that they can be "deal breakers". If that's the case, you should write it down. As long as they are values and not -- "he must be a ginger" I think knowing what you want is key to finding someone to be in a healthy relationship with. Votes: +2

hey all of u stop barking this site has really helped me.. It only meant to find solutions i don't see any harm in dat.. Just chill Votes: +1

This is a positive article! The men who are complaining about this article do not represent the 5 tips. That's clear! How can an article such as this get anyone upset? If this article was written for children on "how to find a good friend?"would they respond like a brat "hey it's not about me?" Get over yourself. There is nothing wrong with giving uplifting advice to anyone and find something other than yourself to protest against. Votes: +1

I think the reason for the hate (and it seems to come mostly from the men) is that women produce and read this kind of fluff by the ton, yet what men experience is a VERY different reality, especially from the women who claim to buy-in to this stuff. Traditionally, women have leverage over men in a relationship because they have the huge advantage in both sexual dispensation and social manipulation, both of which have been amplified by modern American society. Men's traditional forms of leverage - physical power and the ability to provide for the family, have both been severely diminished in modern American culture. Thus, when the word "compromise" is used, to women it means she moves 5% toward the man's point of view and he moves 95% her direction; and she has the power to enforce; he doesn't. In a society filled with narcissism and entitlement, the narcissistic woman who's "attractive" has historically. unprecedented leverage over man selection and relationships. Men experience this but often express the frustration as hate against articles like this, which they see as enabling the outlook that views men as either female accessories or incipient child molesters. Votes: +3

Funny how the 2nd sign states that the man must be willing to compromise, and within the same paragraph, there are "top 5 non negotiable qualities" he must have. What a joke.

Hypocrisy much? lol Votes: +1

If he changes you for the better :) Votes: -1

This article also applies to a man's search for "the right woman." The only addition/modification I would make is this: I want a woman who has her own life and interests outside our relationship. This is probably a new development in man/woman relationships, but to me it's a positive one. Votes: +1

Sign #6: Duh! This is useful info? Votes: +0

This article reads like an article in a Junior High school newspaper. PLEASE find adult writers who write for adults. Votes: +2

Oh, another article for stupid biatches without a man or a brain. Here's the skinny ladies....any man will treat you well if you actually have sex and act like you like it a few times a week. BJ's go a long way too. Votes: -1

Women...the secret is SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Votes: -2

Sex keeps your man interested and faithful ladies. Never forget Votes: -3

The moderator is a douche and a window licker Votes: -4

You are an a*****e mr moderator. Like this is some sort of life changing seriously journalistic website. Lame. Votes: -4

One has to be with another a very long time in order to know a person well. How they react to different situations with you and without you being present. There are too many variables involved. It is more of a learning process when with the other person. Life is a matter of compromises and each persons effort to make compromises for the other person. That's what matters! Votes: +1

Real men want real women; not girls who pander to capricious articles about "relationships".
Oh, "how to tell if he's Mr. Right"! Bimbo journalism. Better go back over to COSMO in search of the "Big O". That's how they find Mr. Right. Votes: -1

That's really an informative post you have shared and I am really pleased to read this.
http://www.naseeb.com/ is providing Matchmaking services for Muslims. Votes: -1

Queenie's comment a couple of months ago IS a prime example that some humans are delusional. It just so happens your'e a female. You desire all the qualities #1--5. So does everyone that wants a mate, Male or Female, not a house slave, or a sex slave, or in your case a trained puppy thats afraid of you. You are a individual that holds back anger, waits untill something else happens then BLOWS THE WINDOWS OUT! Obviously over one of your stupid (oh did I say stupid)? pet peeves.
I'm male and read this to see if there was something I missed,or could improve on, good sound basis for mild profiling,hey works better than spectulation, however I also read things like this to sharpen my skills for spotting sociopathic freaks.HEY, I found another one! "over hand' toilet paper!QUEENIE Wipe your butt twice as many times that you probably do,'cause your'e showing a big a*s in this article! People respect yourselves then you can spot your mate without the games. I was married once for33 years,then she died. life is to short to play b.s.games Votes: -2

I am a 54 year old male and last year I 'reconnected' with a woman I knew from High School. We e-mailed back and forth for a couple of weeks and then had conversations over the phone for a couple of weeks until we started dating. Things were going pretty well until she informed me of her 'criteria' to keep on dating. Her MAIN 3 qualifications were the following: I had to go to church with her EVERY Saturday night; I had to go to bed at 9:30 (when she did), every night, and finally, she INSISTED that her DOG had to be in the bedroom with us when we were in bed even if we were having sex! Neither one of us had a history of cheating and we were both at the same intelligence level but I found these 'requests' a little too much. I commented to my (adult) children that she already acted like an old woman (she was 53), and had too many 'qualifications' that I couldn't, or wouldn't, accommodate. I just found out that after a 6 month relationship she married a guy that was 13 years older than her. Contrary to what has been stated in this article, I find that today both men AND women have a long list of priorities they require in a relationship, and some of these are just way too unrealistic. Votes: +0

I found it to be very interesting in that it can be applied to not only men but women too. If you really think about it, chaps, looking for Mrs. Right can be a hell of a lot easier if you can find someone who ticks all your boxes as far as qualities are concerned.. Votes: +1

1. There's a difference between a man who respects you and a man who acquiesces to your bulls**t. Look for a man who "respectfully" tells you that pms isn't a valid accuse for being a total b***h to people you care about. Look for somebody who keeps you honest and forces you to be a better person than the one you were before you met him.

2. Intuition is bulls**t.

3. How about a list of things you as a woman can do to be Mrs. Right. Here's a few: 1. Stop reading these articles. 2. Work out. 3. Learn to admit when you're wrong. 4. Learn to cook. 5. Learn not to take yourself so seriously. Votes: +3

I am no expert I mean my husband and I have only been together 18 plus years and married 16 the 17th of this month BUT I can tell you this a sense of humor goes aloooooong way in a relationship. You don't always respect each other and you don't always "like" each other but as long as the three A's aren't going on..Abuse, Adultry and Addiction you can pretty much work through everything as long as you TRY. So many want to throw in the towel because its boring, there's no excitement etc. Also RED FLAGS at the beginning of a relationship usually sink it a few years down the road. The big things you think you can overlook will become a deal breaker later on in your marriage. I am 44 and over half of my girlfriends are divorced and all three of my siblings are divorced after 23 years 19 years and 7 years of marriage. Its a commitment and alot of work sometimes. Good Luck! Votes: +0