5 Signs He Is the Right One For You

Great post!
I really don't get the other comment.
It was very informative, giving concrete signs for respect in a relationship. It certainly made me think about mine (and I'm a guy).

Thanks! Votes: +1

And one sign she's dateable: She is not a s**t. Votes: +4

Clearly written for some pathetic white girl.
I completely hate it when relationship advice states "he should accept all of you for who you are", bla bla.
It has invoked women with a sense of FALSE entitlement to something better. Always better. "I don't want to settle"

The problem with this "accept you for who you are thing" suggests that she is in someway "perfect" with no necessity for change. Everyone needs to change. It is a part of GROWTH. Nothing remains stagnant. Some people need to change more than others. Obviously it works both ways (guys and girls). And this is where compromise comes in. And those who are more flexible and more compromising (so less demanding) end up with more successful relationships. I'm not saying give up your morals. I'm saying, don't expect to NOT change. That's retarded. Being open to ideas is what helps a relationship shape and grow, and tackle life together. If both don't change because you're all about not changing anything you're gonna encounter conflicts or things in life that are new obstacles. Then if someone has to step up and change as a solution there is more hesitance than the well compromised, flexbile couple, because neither ever changed before, and both will be wondering "oh why can't the other change" which leads back to the whole selfishness issue. It's a s**tshow cycle then.

This article is super flawed, I could go on, but I'm already ranting. Votes: +4

What man is going to want a woman who takes her cues from some vapid nonsense like this? Men like women with strength, independence, and real brains. None of these things are demonstrated here.

Women, you want a good man? Don't be a cookie-cutter copy.

And the thing about "being allowed to be yourself"...men need this, too. So allow that to happen for them instead of expecting them to be slotted into an a*signed role. Votes: +2

Straight Bs no one is MR, Perfect nor Miss perfect, if people keep reading this stuffthe planet will not have population how will we survive as a species.This kind of crap started with the Oprah era, cosmo, and N.O.W.,and playboy and many other experts so-called love gurus like steve harvey who cheated on his long time wife that stuck with from the beginning now that he is famous he cheats now he a relationship expert, Git the ..... out of here. Just follow the golden rule and everything will be all right. Votes: +4

I love him.But I don't know weather I really love or just need someone to put my love on.ya,Sometimes I feel I'm evil.
Though there is 5 tips,
I couldn't tell ,Feeling is incontrollable

Votes: -4

Good post. Don't get all the hate going on. Votes: +2

Accepting someone for who they are - Well, I don't know if the person who wrote this article is married or has ever lived with someone in a relationship but the success of all relationships is based on compromise. There will be changes that both partners will have to make in order to accommodate the other person. Everybody has flaws, and the true test of a relationship is whether the other person helps you overcome that flaw or not. Not all flaws can be fixed but the ones that cause rifts between partners should be fixed through mutual cooperation. The usual response to this is that if your partner is finding flaws in you then its not worth the relationship. I'd rather say that you will be damaging an otherwise wonderful relationship if you're stubborn and not willing to admit it and work on it. The reason why relationships fail more often these days is because of this individualistic mentally that we have instilled in our society where we feel entitled to "everything". Creating lists is one of those problems. Votes: +3

If you need to read this to figure out whether or not your partner respects you ...... Good luck and make an appointment with a shrink! Votes: -5

you ought not be so critical,you never know what might be around the next corner,keep an open mind Votes: -1

Wait, so I'm expected to hold to this little checklist of hers while I have to accept her with flaws and all? Seems a little lop-sided. Everyone has flaws. 5 important qualities is actually quite a bit considering that there's only so many things you can look for beyond physical qualities. Votes: +2

You would think respect and values ppl would look for in a relationship. No, you see it all the time. Just watch closely and when first meet a person its to show their best quilities in the beginning so if don't like them when they are at their best behavor you won't like them later. lol Votes: +0

I liked the article, mainly for insight into one women's perspective. A perspective that many women seem to agree and apply in their dating lives. Thanks.

Guys, when you're *angry* about and toward women talking to each other about men somewhere that's made for them (we're guests)... the level of respect can't get more obvious. There are plenty of articles written for men about "her", at least one mixed with the links at the bottom of the last page. I don't see women complaining about them. Men have plenty of spaces that are just as much for ourselves as this site is for women. Sit back and watch, if you're not happy.

I've been a writer too, and subconciously pull out the red pen the first time an error pops in my head. But if it doesn't cut into the meaning, it's not the highest priority. Votes: +8

I don't know of any women who are happliy in a relationship because their man "meets criteria specified on their list". Lists are the best way to stay single, because people aren't quantifiable. Votes: +0

All of you asking why this article is directed at women...a*suming you are all men, it's because COSMO is a WOMENS magazine... Jesus. If you want to read articles directed towards men get a freaking subscription to GQ or mens health! Votes: -1

* He is willing to compromise
* He listens to your concerns and feelings
* He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it
* He values your opinion
* He appreciates you
* He is genuinely happy for you when you succeed

Guys, please note this is the quickest way to get a girl to loath you. Do these things at your own pleasure and she will give you the respect that makes a good relationship. Votes: -1

this wasn't helpful at all some of us don't care what ou man is like as long as he's a celebrity...lol...JUST KIDDING...ha!ha! Votes: +2

www.crazy-jerseys.com Votes: -2

Well, i think the article is intended to help everyone in general, not women only. That's why the first sign says ''If you both respect each other, and this is really important in any long-lasting relation. With respect comes affection, care and even faithfulnes that all yearn for. So the 5 signs are there for all-not women only as some think. So respect your love one, you out there, and u'll enjoy the respect in return, for what u sow is what you reap. Votes: +3

"Thank you Captain Obvious" to all five of the clever tips. Votes: +5

Uhmm, This IS a womans mag!!! Duh!! As Gifty said, the article does have a bit to say about "both" parties treating eachother respectfully. Go read Maxum If you want mens articles. Votes: +3

It really is a preveledge to have a site such as ths 1 dat allows us WOMEN to have insight on good relationships and really just help us know if the one's we are in are what they should be or not, based ON WHAT WE WANT AND NEED. I lyk the fact that the writter left room 4personal preferences as we are different nd value different things and it's now up to us wheather we take what is written as true 4us or not. To the men who feel left out, well the site is giving advice to WOMEN, so what yal can ask is if yal can have ur own site... not comment as if the writter is being biased, whereas really the TARGET POPULATION 4this site is WOMEN. Votes: +2

Attraction isn't a choice. Any man can trigger the "I'm the right one for you" by flipping the switches of attraction / affection / comfort in a woman through a series of techniques and by being a high status male in overall. And good luck trying the whole "5 non-negotiable qualities" trick, I'll give you 10 bucks if you can make THAT happen. People need to be flexible and in the end evidence proves this otherwise. Votes: -4

With women in the U.S. filing 80% of the divorces I almost laughed at Sign #1.
Many of these men who meet this are dumping men by the thousands every day who met this criteria. Good men who either failed to meet their unrealisitc expectations or as many women have told me, they just became "bored" with their
husband. His flaw - being boring - must dump and look for a better deal.

Forty plus years of women's lib which has been a good thing in many areas, but
thanks to NOW, COSMOPOLITAN, and other organizations it has made it almost impossible for any man to the meet the unrealistic expecations of many women.
What man needs a high maintenance woman in their life who is out for what she can get?
Key questions to ask yourself as a woman: "What am I bringing to the table?"
"What has love got to do with it?"
Votes: -2

This article got off to a great start, then it decended into generalized fluff. The great start centered around the word respect. Most of the relationships I see today lack respect between the two members to such a degree where neither cares what the other feels or says, and put the other down or viciously snap at the other over trivial matters. And while we're on the subject, they usually lack trust as well. Why in the hell would you want to be with someone you neither respected nor trusted? Because you don't want to be alone? Because they're good in bed? Or you're deluding yourself that the two of you are "in love?" I think 99% of the time, if you don't respect or trust the other person, your relationship just ain't gonna work. Period. Grow up already. If you're just incapable of trusting or respecting other people in general for whatever reason (the one I see all the time is "I've been hurt so much in the past, I have trouble trusting people, blah blah blah."). Look, we're all real sorry your last 17 boyfriends/girlfriends cheated on you, but maybe A. that speaks to how and where you're choosing them, and B. you have some things to work on in yourself before you're even ready for a relationship.

I kinda got out of hand and went on a rant, haha. Can you tell this is something that really bugs the hell out of me on a day to day basis? I hate the way people treat each other these days. I haven't seriously dated or slept with a whole ton of women, but there've been several, and I treated every single one of them with respect. I didn't cheat on any of them, ever, and I trusted and respected them in return. I don't understand why everyone seems to be doing otherwise. Votes: +6

I found myself looking through this article as a check-up to look for a*suring clues that might help my relationship. As I look past the pink dress with the girl hanging all over the man, I almost find it comical and old fashioned that the presentation for the information contained in this article is directed at a very specific audience. If this is USA Today, it must be 1975 again. I was however, able to find a few helpful hints that may be positive for the relationship I have with my partner in life. Votes: -1

COLD FEET FOR JUNE WEDDING MIGHT BE OCD

Longing hearts everywhere await June weddings (and anniversaries). For millions, however, the "blessed day" is their worst fear, despite good relationships, leaving them confused and conflicted, guilty or mistrustful, due to "Relationship OCD" or "ROCD."

ROCD is a form of OCD in which the sufferer has irrational doubts of their partner's love, and goes to extreme lengths to compulsively check up on them. They constantly call them, or inspect their call or email history. Participation in wedding plans are one of many tests of their partner's love. They analyze their words, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Eventually they cause their relationship to dissolve, perhaps, even at the altar.

On the flip side, many other ROCD sufferers doubt their own love for their partner. They set up tests of their attraction and find endless minutiae wrong with their partner. Some wonder if they are leading their partner on, and feel guilty they will eventually hurt or cheat on them. They break up repeatedly only to reunite a few days later.

Psychologist Steven J. Brodsky wants star-crossed lovers to know that their hot-and-cold behavior might indeed be due to a serious anxiety disorder and that the right kind of treatment could save their relationships. Countless marriages (and children) are the direct result of his therapy.


Dr. Steven Brodsky is the clinical director of the OCD and Panic Center of NY and NJ. He has appeared on NBC Nightly News, The TODAY Show (www.tinyurl.com/3zv7wrn), New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and other news and discussion media. For more information, visit Dr. Brodsky's web site, www.OCDhotline.com or call 212-726-2390.

Votes: -1

Here's the problem princess, me me me its always what is best for me. We're all tired of dealing with your selfish attitudes and constant ridicule. Did you ever stop to think that your never ending quest to point out everyone's faults are why you always end up unsatisfied with your partners? Try looking for something good in a person and dwell on that for a change. Otherwise do us all a favor and join a convent. Votes: -4

This could be used for either the man or the women looking for Mr/Ms Right. Votes: +4

what a terrible piece of crap! who writes this junk? did she get paid for this trash? Votes: -1

"It helps to write a list." Yeah, just don't write a list with 42 qualities that are "necessary". Mine? "Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, and more for the two of us...", plus toilet paper over rather than under or we'd have *major* problems. Votes: +2

I just forwarded this article to my 20 year old daughter who always seems to go for the losers..... Votes: +2

The utter prescience of this article dumbfounds me. A truly incisive epiphany that will provide invoilable truth guiding every woman's search for that perfect man (or woman). Oh, the humanity... Please, please tell me we have not devolved to the level of bipedal ungulates who must be so coached in the most pedestrian of social endeavors. Votes: +0

Wow,I don't even have one of the things mentioned on this list with my husband.Not a single one. Votes: +0

One thing I really don't understand or agree with here is: "He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it". I know that's a pretty common expectation, but I REALLY don't think expecting someone to notice these things is reasonable. What if they just don't notice? What if their lack of noticing has nothing to do with whether they love you or not, but they simply had other things on their mind or didn't notice your expression was just a little different? I think it's a little ridiculous to a*sume that because they didn't notice, they must not care, and to expect it; I think the unnecessary fights it may start may very well outweigh any good it may do.
I think if you want to talk about something upsetting you, initiate the conversation yourself. THEN if they don't care, you might have a problem. Votes: +0

I think that this can be used and reformed by an individual. I also think that the five things
"He is willing to compromise, He listens to your concerns and feelings, He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it, He values your opinion, He appreciates you, He is genuinely happy for you when you succeed" can also be used insted of "he" it can be "she". Because it's true about all love, whether man or women, if a person is trully "the one" then they will feel this way towards you, and you will feel this way towards them. Votes: +0

WOW!!!! This is a seriously misguided article. It does not say anything right, anything wrong, or, really, anything at all. It sounds like it was written by some 7th grader in a middle school newspaper article, filled with all of the things "mother" said. It is a lot more complicated than this, and, ladies, PLEASE don't think that these five things will catapult you to nirvana with this knight in shining armor. More than anything, KNOW YOURSELF. Your emotional needs, strengths, and weaknesses. Please know what it is that you want. Know that you yourself are happy. Know that if you get into a relationship with anyone that you have to make deposits to make withdrawals. Please, know that living with anybody and learning that person and "getting on the same page" will take some real work, no matter how damn "right for you" he is. People will think, and ask themselves serious questions,and make all kinds of preparations when they want to adopt a puppy,but don't understand why these fundamental, basic questions have to be addressed before they snag a mate. I could go on and on about this one, but, whoever wrote this article is definitely lacking any real depth in writing this seriously light-hearted article. If any 7th graders are reading this, this may prove helpful but for the grown, sexy, single, and ready to mingle this is useless. Votes: -1

Talk about a waste of an article...save the words next time Votes: +0

I think this is a great article. These "men" complaining about it only being about women are stupid. This article is great because it applies to both men and women. Some things are so important to people that they can be "deal breakers". If that's the case, you should write it down. As long as they are values and not -- "he must be a ginger" I think knowing what you want is key to finding someone to be in a healthy relationship with. Votes: +2

hey all of u stop barking this site has really helped me.. It only meant to find solutions i don't see any harm in dat.. Just chill Votes: +1