Things Remembered: Strategies for a Successful Split

Breaking up is hard to do, as the old song goes, and it really does ring true. Whether the relationship is slowly petering out or crashes and burns suddenly, a breakup most always leads to bruised feelings at best or scorching hate at worst. But there are a few great ways to dump and get dumped while actually living up to that promise to "just be friends." If you're the one dropping the breakup bomb, first and foremost, remember your manners, particularly if the relationship just fizzled for no real reason other than it had run its course. It's possible your soon-to-be ex may not see the breakup coming, and in that case, be kind and do it face-to-face. That means not breaking up by text or email if you can help it. Don't drag out the breakup, mentioning it vaguely and then dropping the subject over and over. Give solid reasons why you want to end the relationship. If things haven't been great for a while, chances are good that as you talk it over, the dumpee will begin to understand your reasons, even if he or she doesn't necessarily agree.
After pulling the plug, keep your distance for a bit. It's cruel to give false hope to your ex, who's still licking his or her wounds. Even calling to see if he or she is OK afterward can be hurtful. Cut the ties that you can - stay away from places he or she frequents, don't hang out with his or her friends and hide posts on social media sites (or "unfriend" your ex altogether - you can always add back later). If you're the one being dumped, keep your emotions in check. Of course it's OK to cry and get mad, but draw the line at property damage. Destroying your ex's stuff may feel good in the moment, but when you have to replace his or her priceless stuff, it's not as fun. And speaking of stuff, get yours from your ex's place as soon as possible. Don't beg for a second chance - at least not right now. The two of you need to take time away from each other, and perhaps in the future, you may reunite, but don't bank on it. Accept the breakup and all the emotions that come with it, and you'll feel better sooner.