Surviving the Kid Debate: Is It Possible?

To procreate or pass on the progeny? That is the question for a lot of couples who are considering expanding their families. Most kids are brought up believing they will - or at least should - have children when they grow up. That pressure is higher for many women, obviously because they're the ones who will carry the children and perhaps raise them. That stereotype is changing as the demographics of traditional families change and women pursue lives that are rich with career opportunities, friends, culture and other non-baby aspects. For a couple who's considering marriage, it's an important conversation to have and definitely one on which the two of you should be on the same page before committing to one another.


Being a parent is an irreversible decision and not one made lightly; after all, there is another person besides the two of you to consider in the decision. Getting married without getting a bead on your partner's outlook on kids can be disastrous down the road if your opinions differ wildly. Factors that you need to consider before committing yourselves to parenthood or even getting married are your careers, living arrangements, financial situation and support system (Are relatives/sitters/other caregivers nearby who can help in a pinch?). If you disagree about whether or not to have kids, then it's not necessarily the death knell for your relationship. Examine whether or not you and your partners' timetables for having kids is compatible. If you think you'll be ready in a year or two, and he or she would like to put it off for 10 years, then that's a major difference of opinion. Then again, it does offer room for compromise. However, if you or your partner is completely opposed to having kids and the other person is dead-set on a big family, then there may not be much you can do to surpass that hurdle.