How to Get the Most out of Couples' Therapy

When partners are facing a tough time in their relationship, then sometimes they need to bring in an outside party to help them sort things out. Half the battle in many relationships is getting both partners to agree to couples' therapy. Many times, one partner is reticent to do so, while the other insists, which creates more tension. But once the two of you can get past the therapist's threshold, you'll need to remember a few things to make your time productive and insightful instead of confrontational and emotional. Get started on the right foot by bringing the right attitude. You won't get very far if you're unwilling to listen to reason and modify your own behavior. It's not about you alone – it's about your relationship. Both of you must be willing to at least try to change and see where it takes your relationship. Make time for therapy -- don't cancel or beg off every time it's time to go.


Make the effort. Don't leave your relationship in the hands of a third party. The therapist is there to facilitate the discussions, not have them for you or tell you what to do. You'll need to talk, and you'll need to listen. One person pouring out his or her heart while the other stares out the window isn't going to get anything accomplished. Be honest. Telling the truth takes courage sometimes, so be brave as well. The only way to know if your relationship will survive the truth is to tell it. Sometimes couples in therapy are given "homework" – things that they need to be doing to see if it helps the relationship. Be willing to do those things and offer an honest assessment as to how they worked. Finally, timing is everything. Couples should consider therapy at the first sign of trouble, not at the brink of divorce. And give therapy time to work – one session isn't going to cure the ills that brought you to therapy in the first place.