Are You Settling for Less?

There's nothing wrong with being comfortable in your relationship, but is there such a thing as being "too comfortable"? There certainly is. When a relationship gets predictable, boring and lacks any sort of passion or spark, then it's time to look inward and ask yourself why you're settling for less than you deserve. There has been a trend of people, particularly women, compromising their standards in the quest to end singlehood. A book has even been written, encouraging such behavior: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. It may stem from the old stereotype of spinsters – the equivalent of the modern-day cat lady – or the perpetuation that single women are unfit to take care of themselves or are unhappy while they're alone. Even if they're not desperate for a mate, some women may think they need to find a man who may not be the best match. Once a person finds that relationship – however unsatisfying – he or she will find myriad ways to rationalize it.
"He's a good provider" or "She's always going to be faithful" may be their ways of articulating that dissatisfaction. Perhaps those statements are true, but there's more to a relationship than that. You may be getting less than you deserve in your relationship if you see these signs. You're not inspired to be the best person you could be – putting goals and dreams on the back burner for the sake of the relationship. A supportive mate is integral, so if he or she isn't supportive and encouraging, you may be settling. Are you making changes to yourself – modifying those dreams and goals, for example, to appease your mate? Do you make sacrifices outside of normal relationship demands, overlooking or compromising your own needs to keep the peace? Finally, it goes without saying that physical and emotional abuse are unacceptable, no matter what. It's another form of putting your partner's needs in front of your own if you have to hide how he or she treats you from friends and loved ones.